Adventures In Schizophrenia: Let's Play Tales of Destiny

Ride The Gravitron: May 2, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

Chapter 3

When we last left our friend Stahn he was securing his position as the town's local crazy. He isn't helping his case here by standing in the middle of the street with a blank stare on his face as he gazes at nothing. Unbeknownst to Sthan but benownst to us he's got some competition coming up for that job title.

For now though let's get a move on. Garr said that Seinegald is to the north so let's head that way for now.

"I can't let you go through here without a passport. Go back."

Well gently caress.

Remember back when I said that many times in Tales you have to hunt for one plot-holding NPC with absolutely no clue or hint as to who? Welcome to the first occurrence of that. If you're a new player I hope you're ready to talk to every single loving NPC in town to figure out what you have to do. Let's start in the pub, that's usually a staple of JRPG information.

"Let's make a toast to your beautiful, sparkling eyes."

"...Are you...like, stupid?"

Welp. Maybe the next table over knows something.

"Yeah, so what?"

"Whaaaaaaat?! Don't you know who the 'Black Wings' are?! Hey, listen up, pal. We hunt for Lens by going on difficult adventures and then sell them to Oberon Corporation. And many products used by ordinary people are made from these Lenses In short, we're a godsend to the people of the world. And 'Black Wings' are superior to all the other Lens hunters! We're invincible!! We're immortal!! John, 'The Beast'!"

"Whirlwind Milly!"

"And I'm the illustrious leader of the Black Wings- Grid, the Omnipotent! You poor helpless peons. Remember this day and my words forever in your hearts. You shall be saved by me some day!"

"Yo boss! U da man, U da man!!"

Yeah he actually says it like that in the game.

"My greatness rules the day again... Heh, you wretched commoners. Sorry, but no autographs."

Ok maybe the pub wasn't the best of places to start. Let's slowly back away and start over. I know! Let's go to the inn right next door, up the stairs, to the very last room and talk to the man tucked away in the corner purely on a whim.

Eureka! Plot!

"I have to return to Phandaria soon, but I can't go through the border without a passport. Oh, I'm in deep... (mumble, grumble)... Where did I drop that blasted thing?"

Now at this point it should be obvious what you have to do.

Clearly you have to enter this unmarked and unremarkable building in the south that no one has bothered to mention or point out before. Duh.

(Even if I get this, it's probably for the wrong country, and besides, it belongs to someone else...)

"What's wrong? Isn't it yours?"

"Um, well...No it's not."

Luckily we know who's it is.

"Oh, really?! I have to go get it. Thanks for the tip! This is a token of my gratitude. Please take it."

Dude gives us Fifty Gald

"Um, (ahem)..."

"What is it?"

What do you mean "what is it?" Fifty Gald? I found your passport and spared you the life of an illegal immigrant working the bean farms for pennies a day constantly looking over your shoulder for La Migra and all you give me is Fifty loving Gald? I could kill a bear and get more than this.

"Where can I get a passport?"

"Didn't you get it from the guard when you entered the town? You don't have one?"

"Well, you know...I was..."

"If you don't have a passport, you must be a criminal or an illegal alien..."

"No, no, no, no. It's not that I don't have one I just don't have it with me..."

"Sure, I believe you. Oh, I'd like to chat some more, but I've gotta run. I've got to go get it now. Thanks for your help."

And just like that we accomplished nothing and are back to square one. gently caress you Stahn.

"Wha? What gives?"

"You should have used that guy's passport to get out of town..."

"Then I'd be going to wrong way. I'm going to Seinegald, not Phandaria."

You can see the innkeeper contemplating calling the cops as he sees this lunatic covered in bear blood ranting and arguing with himself in the lobby.

"Hey, didn't anyone bother teaching you about not stealing things from others?"

"This wouldn't be stealing. It's something that someone dropped. Finders keepers."

"It's the same thing. You're so wrong."

"Fine...Whatever! See if I ever give you advice again!"

God drat it, Stahn, can't you do anything right?

"Trouble? What happened?"

"Actually, what I should have said is that my friend is in serious trouble. My friend was caught in a trap inside the ruins by the snow mountain."

"That doesn't sound good."

I love how Stahn's not even phased by that. poo poo like that just happens in this world

"I'd like to help her, but I can't do it by myself."

"I see. Then, I'll help you."

"Are you sure? That'll be great. My name is Mary Argent. Call me Mary."

"I'm Stahn Aileron. Let's get going."

"We can go to the snow mountain from the exit on the right side of this town."

"Okay, lead on."

"Man, you are such a pushover. Weren't you going to Seinegald?"

"Will you shut up?! I can't abandon someone in trouble!"

"It's nothing. Let's hurry up."

Way to miss the warning signs, Mary.

Despite the fact that she isn't a Swordian user, Mary is my favorite character in the entire game. She's not a walking anime cliche, she gets some of the best lines in the game, and on top of it all off she's a god drat powerhouse in a fight.

Yeah she just shoulder charged a bear.

And yeah, she did just toss that bear ten feet into the air. Aint no thing when you're Mary.

Not that far from town Mary clues you in on where to go. Because Mary knows that having to wander around aimlessly like we did before is complete bullshit. Mary's the best.

"Near the end of this path, there's a hidden entrance to a passageway that will take you to the temple."

The moment you enter the cave Mary promptly reminds you of what you're doing. Because she's not pussy footing around here. She's getting poo poo done and she's getting it done today!

New area means new enemies. Those little slug things spit out a purple ooze at you and the sprites kind of just bump into you. I think they might also cast magic but none of them lived long enough to even try.

One of the reasons Mary is such a powerhouse is because she's not a Swordian user. So whenever you find or buy a stronger weapon it's promptly going on her.

Swords, axes, spears, halberds; Mary can wield them all. Only thing she can't use are bows but that's okay cause Mary would rather get up close and personal so she can feel the spray of her enemies' blood on her face. If the thread hadn't voted on default names I'd be petitioning to name her Xena.

So while your Swordians are patiently gathering XP for higher weapon stats, Mary's already got an upgrade or two and is slaughtering her way through hordes of enemie's with a smile. Sure she'll never cast a spell but she can knock a bear ten feet into the air.

This is what Dragonatrix was talking about when he said you could use another character in combat. Equipping this on a character and pressing select on the second controller let's you control them with that controller. It was originally intended for two players to get in on the fun but it is possible to make Stahn computer controlled and then just switch back and forth between the controllers. Player 1 to wander around the world and Player 2 to fight in battles.

There's a total of three of these in the game (And I think you can get one of them over and over again) so if you had a multitap you could get three friends to join you in on the fun. If you're a friendless loser though you can just sell them for a shitload of cash.

This dungeon is actually pretty linear so it's easy to go through. You shouldn't even be tricked by this fake dead end cause the switch is glowing. Mary doesn't even bother to tell you about it because it's that obvious. Going through that leads to another part of the cave which quickly empties out into the Hidden Temple!

"Rutee!"

"Mary! Where did you run off to?!"

"I couldn't help you all by myself. I've recruited some help."

"Mary, is this your friend?"

No, this is just another random traveler who happened to get caught up in a trap. I told you, this poo poo happens all the time.

"Yes. Her name is Rutee.

"Let's leave the introductions for later! Just get me out of here now!!!"

"Okay, okay, we'll get you down now. Stahn, please help me."

"Sure thing. What do you want me to do?"

"Stand in front of the right pedestal."

"Okay."

"Is this it?"

"Well, don't push the bu... Oh no, run!!!!!!!!"

Notice Mary didn't get caught in the trap. She's too good for that poo poo.

"Stahn, are you all right?"

"Ye...yeah..."

"Hey! What do you two think you're doing?!"

"We're doing our best..."

"Stahn, hold on, I'll help you."

"I don't believe this. @#$%!!.. Is your head just an ornament?"

"Hey, look who's talking! I don't need verbal abuse from someone suspended in midair."

"What?! What are you talking about?! You're no better off than me!!!!"

"Knock it off, you two. Stahn, I'll get you down."

"Whew..."

"Okay. We need to push the buttons at the same time when I say so. Stahn, don't blow it this time."

"Okay, okay..." (What did I do to deserve this?...)

"Yeah."

"Push!"

The screen flashes white and obscures everything and makes for some really bad screenshots. So use your imagination.

"Ugh. Why me? Why do these things always happen to me?"

"I'm sorry."

"Well, don't worry about it. Let's get what we want and get out of here."

"Hey, don't I get a word of thanks from you?"

"Thanks?! No way!! Are you crazy?!"

"What?"

"I didn't ask for your help. Mary brought you here, right?"

"But she did that to get help for you..."

"I think we have a failure to communicate here. By the way, who's the wonderboy that got trapped and had to be rescued by Mary?"

"......"

"So, we're even."

"......"

"We're wasting our time. Mary, let's go. We're going home."

"What?"

"Someone's coming."

"You've got some explaining to do. And quickly!!"

"And who do you think you are? You sound like a bunch of thieves trying to snatch other people's treasure!"

"Thieves?!!!!!"

"Oh, no? Then, bandits? Sheesh. What's the world coming to?"

"Why you little...we're...

"That is, if you want to lose your life."

Isn't Mary the best?

"My, my. Don't you have a big mouth. Aw, forget it. Let's finish the three of them together!"

"What do you mean, 'Finish the three'...?"

"I guess you're with us now."

"Hey, wait a minute! I'm not..."

"Shut up! save your excuses for the afterlife!"

These soldiers aren't too hard. They have 200 HP each and hit as strong as the other enemies in the area. The "difficult" part is that they have the highest HP of anything else you've seen so far.

Which is easily taken care of by charging right into their faces. A fun thing to note is that when you kill a monster in game, it'll poof into a green cloud and go away. Human enemies though will fall to the ground and stay there for the rest of the battle. Just to remind you that you murdered a person.

"They're all talk after all!" (Hey this guy might actually be useful!) "Um, Stahn, is that your name?"

"Ye, yeah."

"I guess this is the second time you've saved me now. Thanks, Stahn."

"Huh?"

"If it hadn't been for you, we would have been killed."

"Now, what did I do to deserve this outpouring of gratitude all of a sudden?"

"You saved our lives. Mary, you should thank him too."

"Stahn, thank you for your help."

"But, I really haven't..."

"I'd like to thank you somehow. Can you come along with us to town? Mary, you ask him too!"

"Stahn, come on, let's go together. Traveling is fun with more people, the more the merrier."

"What? Oh, um...sure...(I guess)"

"Terrific. There's an exit to the south. Let's go."

There's a bit more of this temple to explore though not much to really show off. A new enemy does appear here however.

That jelly will kind of just wiggle at you and toss it's weight when it wants to hit you.

As we looted the place though, every one gained a level and a new skill!

Power Missile is a stronger version of Stahn's Sword Missile. You can see that it also has some trails behind it. Some rather high trails. Those can actually hit low flying enemies.

Rutee's first special lets her search the ground for a few seconds to look for money.

When she fails she just lays on the ground for a moment as she wonders what kind of life she's had that has led her to searching for money on the ground. I never got the move to actually succeed for this update and I eventually gave up.

I'm not 100% sure what determines success with Search Gald but I would imagine it's based on her luck skill and according to the ToD booklet, your luck changes every time you rest at an inn so I'll try again next update. After that I'm gonna turn the special off so the AI will never use it with out my prompting. Cause it is a useless as gently caress skill.

Heading south out of the temple we come into the woods. It's a short trip from here to the town and there's only three paths if you count the one leading to the temple. Even if you manage to get lost:

Now that we're out in the woods though and have bigger targets we can check out Stahn's new skill.

For those of you who don't know; the "Tales of" series is made by Namco. The same folks who brought you Tekken. You can really see the fighting game influence in the special moves.

"Oh, okay. Thanks for the tip..."

"It�s a little too busy here. Let's go somewhere we can sit peacefully."

For some reason you get a choice here even though it has absolutely no bearing on anything in the entire game. Unfortunately for Stahn the military has pretty strict regulations and procedures so he'd be disqualified from joining thanks to his schizophrenia.

"No. I'm not planning to do that..."

"Then, what are you going to do?"

"I don't know yet..."

"Oh, I see... By the way, where are you from?"

"I'm from the village of Lienea..."

"Lienea? Where's that?"

"It's in Fitzgald..."

"Fitzgald?"

"Wha,whaaat? Something wrong?"

"That means...you're a country boy!"

"You, it's Y...O...U! About the only place worth visiting in Fitzgald is Neuestadt, right? Lienea? Where the heck is that? I've never heard of that place."

"Hey, enough about me. Where in the world were YOU born, miss I'm-better-than-you?!"

"Why, I, I was born into a good family in Seinegald! Don't put me in the same boat as you!"

"......"

"Okay, that's enough of that subject... Can I see your sword?"

"Can I?"

"Ummm...well..."

"This?"

"How do you do, Stahn?"

"I thought so! You can hear Atwight's voice!"

And now we can add Folie � Deux to our growing list of mental illnesses our party possesses.

"Atwight?"

"That sounds like...Dymlos?!"

"I was right! You're a Swordian user!"

As you can see Mary is confused because unlike the other two she's not insane. Mary's too cool for that.

"In short, we are both swords created in ancient times. However, we are different from ordinary swords because we are sentient."

Whoa there, you can't be using big words like "sentient" or "different" infront of Stahn. He gets easily confused.

"But unless the user's neural wavelength is the same as ours, we can't even communicate with the user."

"Does that mean the user is chosen?"

"Chosen... You haven't changed a bit, Dymlos. You are so good at fooling people."

"Sh, shut up, Atwight..."

"Hey, Dymlos..."

"Looks like you've been had."

"Oh, well... His mind was simple"

:iceburn:

"and easy to read. But more than anything, he seemed like a good person..."

"Otherwise, you wouldn't be able to hear my voice."

"I know I'm interrupting, but..."

"What!"

"Do you want to work with us?"

"Work?"

"You don't have any plans, right? It might be better for you to travel with us instead of being alone."

"What shall we do, Dymlos?"

"Why are you asking me...?"

"It would feel safer if Dymlos was with us."

"I wouldn't object if you want to join them..."

"Then, let's work together. But I won't take part in any crimes."

"Of course! What do you think I am?"

"............."

"Well, think what you like. At any rate, we're in business together. Oh, can you give me Atwight back?"

"Sure."

"Well now... I'm gonna go out for a while."

"Where to?"

"I'll make arrangements for our lodging. You wouldn't want to stay in our room would you?"

"Of course not!"

"Besides, I wouldn't want to be bothered by someone like you."

"Who would bother you?!"

"I just said the truth. I'm not helping you."

"All you really want is to be with that Himlos or whatever, right?"

"His name is Dymlos. He's just an old comrade. You wouldn't understand."

"You're not exactly a young girl in love or anything."

"I don't want to hear that from a money-obsessed maniac like you."

"What?! You don't know a thing about me!"

You literally scavenge the ground for pennies, Rutee. I'm sorry but Atwight is completely correct about you.

"That's right, I can't read your mind because you won't open it to me."

"You know, I can just throw you away right here if I want to!"

"Do whatever you like. I'm interested in finding out what'll happen to a defenseless girl if she doesn't have a Swordian."

I'd like to know what happens to a defenseless Swordian who doesn't have some one to carry it around or stop it from rusting.

"I'll get you for this someday!"

"I look forward to it."

"I don't know, but leave her alone."

"They do this often. Don't worry."

"I see... By the way, why did you set out on your adventure?"

"Me? I...can't remember."

"What?"

"I don't remember. My memories only begin from the time I first met Rutee."

Ok, fine, sure, Mary does have Anime Amnesia but she's still the best character in the game.

"Isn't that called amnesia...? don't you remember anything?"

"This."