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Chapter 5 Ah another day in Destiny; another fool to rob blind. I could totally get behind a JRPG who's heroes are complete selfish assholes only looking out for themselves and their pocketbooks.   "............ZZZZZZZZ...ZZZZ..."  "...Are you listening to me?" "Mmmph...huh (yawn)? Oh, good (yaaaaaawn) morning ...Did you have something to say?" "...Oh, forget it!" "By the way, what are we going to do next?" "I heard that the head of the Armeida village was looking for someone who could give his grandson lessons in swordsmanship. The pay is pretty good. What do you think?" "Swordsmanship... That sounds good" Hell yeah it sounds good. Dudes wouldn't even be able to fight back when we tie them up and loot their house. "Okay then. Armeida is northeast from here."   "They're..." "Hey, hey, hey! What's going on here?" "Shaddap! It's none of your business... Wha, h, hey! Waitaminit!!"   I imagine the JRPG of selfish heroes would go a lot like this actually. You'll go from town to town stealing plot related items while the army chases you down. Eventually your party will come to realize that the best defense is a good offense and take the fight to the capital city. "Oh, now I remember! You're those thieves who tried to mess with us before!" "Who're you calling thieves?! We're Seinegaldian soldiers."  So the final dungeon would be a raid on the castle going through floor after floor on your quest to kill the king. Each boss would be like part of the kingdoms "Elite Knights" or something anime like that.  "Did you know that the temple was under the protection and care of our kingdom?" "What?! ...Hey, hey, Rutee." "Stahn, did you know that?" "How the heck would I know that?!" "Jeepers! Well, gentlemen and sirs, as you can see, we didn't know that." Phew! Glad we could clear that up. We'll be on our way now. "Why you little punks! You're lying through your teeth!!!"  "Why, am I that famous? Do you want my autograph or something?" "I've heard many bad things about you. You should hear what they say about your mother.  "Listen you, surrender peacefully. We want to take you to the castle for questioning." "Stahn..." "Wha...what?" "Run!" "Ru...huh?!"    "Is this an ambush?!" "What's going on?! I thought you weren't involved in bad things!!" You just saw her rob a dude in front of you, Stahn. This happened the day before. How loving stupid are you? "Ugh! Will you stop your whining, Stahn?! My plan is completely screwed up now... Okay, we'll have to do things the hard way! Mary and Atwight, come on!" "Mary, please stop Rutee!"  "Hee, hee, hee! Come on, you little girlie boys!! Show me what ya got!!!" Just go ahead and tell me that Mary hasn't won you over as best character. "Wha, now, hold it right...!"  "We have no choice..." "You, you must be joking...!"  "We have to make our stand now." "Argh! ...Lilith, I'm so sorry. I might not be able to come home ever..." "What are you blubbering about?! They're coming!!"   This battle is a cake walk. Except for the fact that now there's 8 of them, it's exactly the same as the fight in the Hidden Temple. They have the same health and attack strength. In fact because you should have gained a level or two on the way, it's probably easier than before. I really want to point out the background for this fight. It's not just a simple generic "in town" battle screen. They could have easily gone with that and used the same background for the like one or two other times a fight in a town happens. No, this background is unique to this town which actually has a bridge over a little stream like that. They put in a lot of effort into this game.  "What are you waiting for?! There's only three of them!"  "Move out of my way!"   "drat it, you spineless worms... Quit slacking your job, you morons! Get up now!! I'll take care of them. You fools are going against the national army. Surrender peacefully or suffer the consequences. This is your last chance..."  You're gonna get it now! "When did they let you out of preschool?!" "I've given you a fair warning... You'll regret you insolence. Criminals have no rights. Now, you shall pay!!"  Alright let's do this thing! Gonna tear this punk a new assh-  Wait. . .what? Only five points of damage?  Okay, okay. Clearly I came into the fight unprepared. Let's start over and see how much health he has so I can plan. There's a neat little item in this game called Spectacles that let's you see the enemies health and their primary element if they have one.    Ok you know what? If the game isn't gonna play fair, neither am I.   You made me do this, Tales of Destiny, You did! I hurt you because I love you.  "Do we have to fight these soldiers? ...Don't I have a choice?" "What's your problem, Mr. Gloom-and-Doom?! If we stick together, nothing can stop us." "B...but..." "Can't you see there's no turning back now? Let's get crazy!" "B...but..."   And finished off the master swordsman, Leon Magnus. The three went on to take their place in as an infamous gang of lens hunters who roamed the four corners of the world. But that's another story  The game then takes you back to the title screen. And that's Tales of Destiny, Folks! I'd like to thank you all for sticking through my first LP. Big thanks to divide by zero for those portraits as well as thanks to Stabbey_the_Clown for being my unofficial proofreader. Feel free to leave comments and critiques about what I did right, what I did wrong, and everything in between so that my next LP can be better than this one. Good night, folks! Alright, alright; I guess I should at least try to beat Leon fair and square for the LP  Son of a bitch!  Oh! "How amusing. I wasn't aware you had Swordians."How the hell would you even know? You didn't even let us live long enough to cast a spell.  "Yeah, so what? What is it to you?!" "Your Swordian skills are so primitive. What a waste of the poor Swordians..."  "Chaltier!" "Hey, what's this? Chaltier? Who? Dymlos, what's going on?!" "Chaltier was our comrade during the ancient war." "That means he's a..." "Yes, he's a Swordian master." "If he's a Swordian master like us, why won't he let us go?!"  "No way. I can't go against my master." "So, who is this master of yours?" "Leon is my master. He's the best swordsman in the Kingdom of Seinegald. He's highly respected." "Kingdom of Seinegald?" "It's a kingdom that was established after the war in the northern part of the Prime Continent in this world." People, please. This is not the time for a geography lesson. "I've never heard of it." "You don't know because you've been sleeping for ages." "What is the Prime Continent?" drat it, Stahn! What did I just say? "This is the Prime Continent. It was called by that name long ago." "Oh..." Are you happy, Stahn? Is your situation any improved now that you know about the Prime Continent? No! You're still tied up and beaten! "By the way... Chaltier, you talk differently now." "Do you think so? Perhaps, it's because of my young master...Well, I've also been through a lot..." "Chal!" "I know, master. I'll behave..." "All of you should be silent as well. Surrender your weapons now." "Yeeessss, maaassssster...!" "Hey you, Leon or whatever. What are you going to do with us?" "There is only one place for criminals to go. Just make sure to remove the unnecessary jewelry and clothing around you neck... Send these scum to Darilsheid!" "Yes, sir!" "Criminals...Hey, wait a minute!" "Why did we have to be caught by you, of all people in the world?!!" "Take them!" "Yes, sir!" "Hey, watch where you're grabbing! Hey, lemme go!! Lemme go!!!" "...What a big mouth!" And just like that, our short careers as country side thieves is brought to an end. A man can dream. 
Ride The Gravitron fucked around with this message at 03:24 on Mar 30, 2013 |
| ← # ? Mar 30, 2013 02:29 |
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