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Owlkill posted:Also, despite not being the birthing parent I seem to be getting sympathetic baby blues. On a rational level I can see how it entirely makes sense that such a massive life change combined with sleep deprivation and a pretty traumatic birth experience would take an emotional toll, but man, I hadn't anticipated finding myself getting weepy quite so often or pretty much entirely losing my ability to concentrate on anything beyond Traitors on TV. My wife is being so amazing and I feel like we're making a conscious effort to emotionally check in with each other, which really helps, and I want to be able to support her effectively (which she tells me I am), I'm just a bit worried about going back to work at the end of next week (though luckily I'm a remote worker with a very understanding/compassionate manager). Happened to my partner too (I'm the birthing parent - I never got any baby blues or anything aside from maybe a little increase to my pre-existing anxiety). He had a really hard time with our first but never got treatment for it because at the time he worked in a very macho environment and would have had to choose between concealing his treatment or getting mocked all day every day. With our latest addition, he had a meltdown in the hospital from the sheer multi day trauma circus of our failed induction, then was told that "men don't get postpartum depression". I filed a formal complaint but that nurse is probably still out there waiting in the shadows to jump out and be lovely to non birthing parents who are struggling. What I'm saying is that people are awful about it but it absolutely happens. I'm sorry it's happening to you. There is help out there and you shouldn't be ashamed for needing help. It also gets better. It gets so much better. I'm still waiting for it to get easier, but sometimes baby don't sleep 🥴
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Jan 26, 2024 18:34
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I was also the non-birthing parent, but I got way, way worse mental health outcomes than my wife. Like I had to go to an intensive outpatient program (several hours of group therapy every weekday) for like a month and change plus medication to be able to manage my mental state healthily. Plus my Mom had to come and help out for most of that time too. take me to the beaver is absolutely right though, it does get better. I'd say I'm better now mentally than I was before the baby arrived. Don't judge yourself at all if you happen to also have lots of emotions and are finding it difficult. We're all human and it's totally ok to feel that way. Like I was also surprised (and ashamed) of how much it hit me, but it's just who I am y'know. Eeyo fucked around with this message at 21:00 on Jan 26, 2024 |
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Jan 26, 2024 20:56
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Wife tripped and fell on her way to the cinema in her giant goth boots and managed to pivot while falling, ended up in hospital anyway, just to be safe, both of them are ok but she got to have the big breech talk while in there anyway, turns out we live in one of those places that doesn't bother with pain meds for Normal Versions either. Which seems LOVELY. So now she's even more set on the section or just hoping he moves on his own, he's ages to do it yet though
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Jan 27, 2024 13:39
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Owlkill posted:Nine days in with our whopper newborn and while a combo of nipple shields, pumping and formula are helping with the feeding our large infant son keeps getting trapped wind. Our not-particularly large boy was a gassy one. Apologies if this has already been mentioned to you, but have you tried degassing drops? Infacol/simethicone. It won't necessarily help with immediate gassiness, but it can help going forward - it turns the gas into smaller, more manageable bubbles. Try giving it before milk feeds. In time you'll be able to get a good idea what they need purely based upon the sound of their cry, but it's still early days for you folks, yet - just spin through the main options of hungry, tired, dirty, gassy and you'll be alright. Oh, and if you're giving him bottles, check the teats to ensure they're the correct size. We had some that it turned out were entirely the wrong size, which made the first few weeks ridiculously stressful, and we only found out later. My tip for non-birthing partners is to prioritise baby and sleep - anything else you fit in is merely a nice bonus. I'm 7 months in and even now, my ability to be an adequate parent and sane human is largely a product of how much sleep I'm getting. Oh, and don't be afraid to call in help if it's available to you - when he was all fresh and new I loved people who'd offer to hold my little bean while I got some sleep, coz kiddo went through a "human spirit level" phase where he wouldn't sleep unless he was being held. Without those folks, I would have lost my mind.
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Jan 27, 2024 15:52
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Shoehead posted:...turns out we live in one of those places that doesn't bother with pain meds for Normal Versions either. Which seems LOVELY. So now she's even more set on the section or just hoping he moves on his own, he's ages to do it yet though Did they happen to mention why? This continues to boggle my mind. Why would you not offer pain medication when there are good studies that show that adequate pain management substantially increases the chances of success during a version?! I can't imagine that torturing a pregnant person is very fun. God forbid we make someone more comfortable when we're subjecting them to a painful medical procedure. I'm glad she's on the C-section train. If you're going to ride the sunroof baby express, might as well go into it without feeling guilt or vagina FOMO. It's taken me a long time to be okay with my C-section breech delivery.
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Jan 28, 2024 05:54
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They didn't even bring pain management up with her. She said the talk seemed to emphasise how painful it was to both her and the kid. They also went ahead and put her name down on one for next week for some reason, "just in case". She wasn't impressed and won't be showing up if called (I'm so glad we aren't paying for it). I'm sure it'll come up again at her midwife visit this week and I'll ask. We are in Ireland so I just kind of assume if there's anything lovely they make a pregnant mother do for no reason that the Nuns figured it was better to suffer for totally non-sadistic reasons and it's a holdover from then
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Jan 28, 2024 09:36
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Just wanted to thank everyone for the words of support and reassurance it definitely helps to know it gets better and it's not uncommon to feel like I have been. It feels ridiculous to say but I feel like while on one level I knew having a baby would be a massive, life-changing experience, we weren't prepared for how it would make us feel - I don't think anything in my life so far compares. I'm so excited to see how the little guy changes and grows as time passes though and to get to know the person he'll become.
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Jan 28, 2024 17:48
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Section booked for the 14th! Valentine's day baby!
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Feb 1, 2024 12:11
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baby is still measuring 2 weeks ahead and is projected to be larger than my first, who got stuck for hours. doc won't let me schedule an induction at 39 weeks because they have a policy against scheduling unless you have 1cm dilation first. explained to them that at 40+6 last time i had no dilation or signs of labour and i am pretty traumatized from that induction / birth experience. hoping my body does SOMETHING in the next few weeks but not hopeful. get him out. get him OUT.
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Feb 1, 2024 16:05
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Mr. Freebus posted:baby is still measuring 2 weeks ahead and is projected to be larger than my first, who got stuck for hours. doc won't let me schedule an induction at 39 weeks because they have a policy against scheduling unless you have 1cm dilation first. explained to them that at 40+6 last time i had no dilation or signs of labour and i am pretty traumatized from that induction / birth experience. hoping my body does SOMETHING in the next few weeks but not hopeful. get him out. get him OUT. As someone who was 0.5cm at 42 weeks, I pray for you. One of my friends swears by Gangnam Style
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Feb 2, 2024 06:25
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At this point you're probably willing to try anything so try eating dates, apparently it helps, and dates are good so it won't hurt anyway 
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Feb 2, 2024 07:54
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orange sky posted:At this point you're probably willing to try anything so try eating dates, apparently it helps, and dates are good so it won't hurt anyway eating 3 dates daily (yucky), drinking 2 cups of raspberry leaf tea daily (yucky), and chucking evening primrose oil capsules up me gash at night. going to start pumping at 38 weeks. i will defeat the baby.
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Feb 4, 2024 21:07
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It's been a very long time but I recall when looking this stuff up, the raspberry leaf tea actually had a a decent body of science supporting this one behind it
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Feb 4, 2024 21:38
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So the section was booked for today, we got ready, went to bed early and wouldn't you know at 1am my wife's water broke. She ended up having an emergency section, he's something like 5 pound 16, tiny little guy. He's gorgeous 
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Feb 14, 2024 11:06
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Shoehead posted:So the section was booked for today, we got ready, went to bed early and wouldn't you know at 1am my wife's water broke. She ended up having an emergency section, he's something like 5 pound 16, tiny little guy. He's gorgeous Congrats!!!!
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Feb 14, 2024 14:04
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Congrats!
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Feb 15, 2024 06:32
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Congrats!! Enjoy It's so weird seeing my wife carrying a human inside her - it still hasn't set in that I'm going to be a father. This is so scary and exciting and weird.
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Feb 15, 2024 11:56
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Is it kicking yet? That was super weird for me to feel as the dad.
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Feb 15, 2024 21:51
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There is a website called "betabase.info" that probably isn't very scientific, but it appears to be legit crowd sourced HCG data for Singleton and Twin pregnancies Of course, it's unverified information on the Internet without any kind of warranty* so it should be treated as a scam, but if you've got unusually high Singleton HCG it's fun to speculate if it could be twins. There's enough data there you can charge the mother's age sampling data *Unverified information is always the most reliable information!
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Feb 16, 2024 02:02
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It’s been around for AGES! Well more than a decade. I found it useful in an edutainment kind of way.
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Feb 16, 2024 02:44
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Yeah I think "for entertainment purposes only" is a better way to frame it. I just didn't want to introduce it as medical advice/fact First time I've heard of it was someone on Reddit linked to it
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Feb 16, 2024 03:07
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Eeyo posted:Is it kicking yet? That was super weird for me to feel as the dad. Hell, as the mom it was super weird for me to feel, both times. Before my first I hadn't really registered that I'd be able to feel her moving around inside me.
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Feb 16, 2024 13:20
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First night home! My wife is doing really well, better than we all thought. but also refused to take a nap on day 2 while I had him and ended up with a super needy baby who would not sleep without being held and stayed awake through til me arriving the next day. Really wish I'd have been allowed stay over night with her for this exact scenario.. So tonight is my turn to stand watch while she finally sleeps. Fell asleep in my desk chair next to him. He rules. My brain's already been rewritten, he farts and I'm like "hell yeah I'm so proud of you"Eeyo posted:Is it kicking yet? That was super weird for me to feel as the dad. Oh yeah and wait til you feel them hiccup in there, it's amazing.
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Feb 17, 2024 04:21
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Oh yeah those early farts are an achievement  good work, baby! Why wouldn't they let you sleep over? That's somewhat unusual Edit: is it the nuns? Dang it nuns take me to the beaver fucked around with this message at 10:50 on Feb 17, 2024 |
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Feb 17, 2024 10:47
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I've no idea. I have to assume it's something religious again, You know Nuns they are all about strength through adversity and my wife definitely had her instincts put to the test. Maybe they just don't want lads sleeping in chairs. I do know there's one entire men's room in the whole building and some prick blocked it so there's credence to that theory too!
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Feb 17, 2024 14:13
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seem to have lost part of my mucus plug last night, pelvis felt very achey. i had to be induced last time so im taking this as a good sign. unfortunately i didn't do anything to encourage labour because i immediately got really scared and want just a few more days with my daughter before disappearing to the hospital! im not ready!!!
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Mar 3, 2024 12:28
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went into labour a week early which was a surprise because i was induced at 41w last time. had a constant stabbing pain for an hour so i called my doc. they suggested i go to L+D asap because i mentioned reduced fetal movement. L+D takes a swab and blood and says you have no infections cya later. i start having very close together contractions on the monitor and theyre like yep you are and send me off. im home maybe an hour before im doubled over from each wave of contractions and head back. they take me back immediately and im nearly fully dilated so im holding baby in while they try to fold me in half for an epidural. water broke on the poor nurse as this happens. little poo poo was sunny side up like his sister but it only took me 1h of pushing vs 4h last time. the searing pain i felt was a partial placental abruption. we are all home and recovering! 2 under 2 is WILD when you're torn to your butthole
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Mar 12, 2024 19:42
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Ooof and also congrats!
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Mar 13, 2024 00:53
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Mr. Freebus posted:
hmm, new thread title?
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Mar 13, 2024 01:31
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Congrats on the new babby
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Mar 13, 2024 14:15
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Hi I'm pregnant for the first time ever and rapidly approaching the part where I have to go the hospital and stay there until Babby happens. This poo poo is scary. I have D-Day bag all set up, but I'm going to be going in alone. My best friend was going to be here, but she's off on a family vacation right where my stuff is supposed to hit. How the gently caress do I do this? I'm really really, really scared.
soviet elsa fucked around with this message at 03:03 on Mar 20, 2024 |
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Mar 20, 2024 03:01
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soviet elsa posted:Hi I'm pregnant for the first time ever and rapidly approaching the part where I have to go the hospital and stay there until Babby happens. This poo poo is scary. I have D-Day bag all set up, but I'm going to be going in alone. My best friend was going to be here, but she's off on a family vacation right where my stuff is supposed to hit. How the gently caress do I do this? I'm really really, really scared. Let your nurses and whatever provider who is delivering your baby know that you are scared and may be doing this alone. I had my second with my friend as my support person, but she had to leave soon thereafter and I was alone, just me and my son, for the next two days in the hospital. If staff know you are scared they can hopefully give some extra TLC. You can do this. It is really scary, but when I felt scared I tried to remember that women have been birthing children since the dawn of humankind, and we have the most knowledge and best medical care since birthing babies started, so we have a very good chance of things going just fine. Do you have a support person when you go home?
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Mar 20, 2024 03:21
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Having a cold, while pregnant, while watching your 4 year old is not my idea of a good time.
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Apr 17, 2024 19:20
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