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Mister Macys posted:Wesley gets an on the spot officer commission to acting ensign from Picard; just for being friends to an alien. It's a post-scarcity socialist utopia, he doesn't have a pay grade. He's Chief Engineer because he figured out he was good at it in the war and now apparently that's all he wants to do despite being able to move to hedonistic gently caress-colonies on pleasure planets FOR FREE
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Jan 9, 2015 12:24
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Chief O'Brien, Personal Log: This morning I was working on C-Deck's climate control sensors and I asked Nog to grab me a phase-coupler and the little troll cleared his throat and said, "you're addressing a senior officer now chief". What the gently caress is happening to StarFleet that they let these loving space Jews boss around actual people. Next thing you know I'm going to have to salute one of those Packled retards.
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Jan 9, 2015 16:26
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A few weeks ago, I was asked to appear in a Starfleet instructional holofilm - a non-speaking part, "Engineer #3" or some such. Could be fun, thought I. Little did I know the cursory background probe run by the holodirector would unearth my secret... that I am not, in fact, the average engineer I appear to be, but instead a genetically engineered potato, created by a young Wesley Crusher as a science fair project. As I waddle through the corridors of Deep Space 9, I can feel my superficial humanity gradually sloughing away. Why not? I've nothing left to hide. There will be precious little left of Miles O'Brien soon, I suppose. Only a massive tuber, with a bulbous chin and winking, crinkled eyes. The wife says she's never found me more attractive.
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Jan 9, 2015 16:40
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This is the best thread that should never be Goldmined.
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Jan 10, 2015 03:22
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Shoehead posted:It's a post-scarcity socialist utopia, he doesn't have a pay grade. He's Chief Engineer because he figured out he was good at it in the war and now apparently that's all he wants to do despite being able to move to hedonistic gently caress-colonies on pleasure planets FOR FREE It's a figure of speech, as compared with higher ranked officers like Geordi and Barkley. And they do in fact get paid. This is established in season one of TNG by Dr. Crusher. They just have no need to ever spend it.
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Jan 10, 2015 03:39
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Mister Macys posted:It's a figure of speech, as compared with higher ranked officers like Geordi and Barkley. And they do in fact get paid. This is established in season one of TNG by Dr. Crusher. They just have no need to ever spend it. I want the story of a dishonored Starfleet Captain who decided to take his massive piles of latinum to the ferengi and build up a mercenary force. EDIT: UNUSED Latinum How loving easy would it be to run a huge embezzlement racket out of Starfleet HQ? Answer...Miles O'Brien is already doing it from his cushy Academy job. Waiting for that tragic transporter accident to happen to Keiko. He will then retire to some planet on the Cardassian border and teach Hoshi and Molly how to kill spoonheads. SkaAndScreenplays fucked around with this message at 07:50 on Jan 10, 2015 |
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Jan 10, 2015 06:47
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SkaAndScreenplays posted:I want the story of a dishonored Starfleet Captain who decided to take his massive piles of latinum to the ferengi and build up a mercenary force. Pakled child soldiers? "We like things that make you die!"
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Jan 10, 2015 06:57
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Mister Macys posted:It's a figure of speech, as compared with higher ranked officers like Geordi and Barkley. And they do in fact get paid. This is established in season one of TNG by Dr. Crusher. They just have no need to ever spend it. Oh man really? I thought it was bad but it turns out it's WORSE. It always struck me how fuckin' goody goody everyone in TNG was, it was like watching a crew of kooky boyscouts and librarians going on space adventures. Even the random colonists who went to terraform hell planets where loving boring assholes who were usually doing it to "Make a life" for themselves, in a society where you can sit on your rear end for your entire life if you wanna.
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Jan 10, 2015 12:26
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Shoehead posted:Oh man really? I thought it was bad but it turns out it's WORSE. Post scarcity society is so boring and empty, setting up shop on a desolate rock in the middle of nowhere with the possibility of early mortality is the only way out. Automatic Slim fucked around with this message at 21:02 on Jan 10, 2015 |
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Jan 10, 2015 21:00
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While it's never said (I think), I'm pretty sure the only reason there even is a space economy in Star Trek is because replicators and holodecks aren't perfect at their job; merely "good enough" for unsophisticated proles.
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Jan 10, 2015 21:30
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I thought star fleet people got paid in holodeck hours. It is more or less the perfect entertainment, and I dunno that we ever see anyone outside of a uniform use one without paying Quark.
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Jan 11, 2015 01:33
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who is miles obrein
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Jan 11, 2015 01:34
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fanged wang posted:who is miles obrein Sonics drunk pal.
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Jan 11, 2015 01:59
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Mister Macys posted:While it's never said (I think), I'm pretty sure the only reason there even is a space economy in Star Trek is because replicators and holodecks aren't perfect at their job; merely "good enough" for unsophisticated proles. Good point. Why does Picard's family have a vineyard if you can get synthahol? Why would Sisko's family run a restaurant when you can replicate that stuff at home? Because they are the upperclass of a "classless, post-scarcity" society. Replicators are the Wal-Mart of the 24th century. e: Notice how only officers have families who own businesses?
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Jan 11, 2015 02:22
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Mister Macys posted:While it's never said (I think), I'm pretty sure the only reason there even is a space economy in Star Trek is because replicators and holodecks aren't perfect at their job; merely "good enough" for unsophisticated proles. oh puh-leez, they'd have enough tech to automate all the dangerous jobs and Starfleet flying around too and they don't do that. People in ST got bored of doing nothing and now they take risks again it's that simple. p. sure Gene said something like that once but i forget where i saw it.
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Jan 11, 2015 02:38
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This poster loves police brutality, but only when its against minorities!
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DeusExMachinima posted:oh puh-leez, they'd have enough tech to automate all the dangerous jobs and Starfleet flying around too and they don't do that. People in ST got bored of doing nothing and now they take risks again it's that simple. p. sure Gene said something like that once but i forget where i saw it. and yet multiple episodes in TOS revolve around mining, because it can't be automated unless you want to ruthlessly strip mine a layer at a time.
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Jan 11, 2015 02:42
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O'Brien's Log Stardate: Pffffffff It's been about three weeks since Q put me in this alternate dimension. Except now he's calling himself "Discord" and he looks like the result of a transporter accident at a zoo. Everyone else here is a pastel-coloured talking horse, including - Jesus, Mary, and Joseph - myself. Yes, Q decided I needed to experience the "magic of friendship" and he turned me into one of them. Now I'm a yellow-coated, four-legged freak with a tattoo of a happy face on the side of each of my arse cheeks. I try to convince him - beg him - to change me back, but he refuses. I tell him "I can't take all this drat childishness!" But he just smiles at me with that hideous shite-eating grin of his. "Why Smiley," he says - everyone here insists on calling me that - "surely you've noticed how edgy and sophisticated things are here." But they're not.
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Jan 11, 2015 02:47
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Pththya-lyi posted:O'Brien's Log OW MY GODDAMN SHOULDER!!! *shot in the head, corpse sent to the glue factory*
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Jan 11, 2015 04:27
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Mister Macys posted:and yet multiple episodes in TOS revolve around mining, because it can't be automated unless you want to ruthlessly strip mine a layer at a time. And then they had the Voyager episode where they used all the obsolete EMH's to do the dangerous mining.
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Jan 11, 2015 05:09
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Holographic slavery by any other name is still slavery. 
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Jan 11, 2015 08:43
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Ezri Dax woke up in med bay.Her head was aching so she tried to reach for it with her hand only to realize that she was strapped to a table. "Ah you're awake, good." Miles said in a surprisingly cheery voice. "What happened? Were we attacked?" asked Ezri. "Funny, you're a psychologist and you don't even know." "Know what?"" "Did you know you're boyfriend Julian was working on a way to bring back people from the dead using those slugs attached to your side? Like he really thought he could bring Jadzia back in hologram form." "No, I didn't" answered Ezri honestly. "I guess he didn't tell you because he realized that it was impossible, at least with our technology. The only way to do it would be to overright someone's brain that can accept a symbiote easily, like Odo or the host itself. And well Odo's gone now, so that leaves you." A chill ran down Ezri's spine as she realized what was going on. Miles had knocked her out, eliminated the EMH's ethical subroutines, and he was now planning to sacrifice her. "Oh god, you are going to kill me to bring back Jadzia?" "HA HA HA, you really are slow. To think you called yourself a psychologist" Miles sneered. "Then what do you want?" "Oh I'm bringing back one of your previous hosts, but not Jadzia... no I need someone who can understand me. Someone more than just a friend, a partner in crime if you will." "Joran" "That's right Ezri, he and me are going to make beautiful music together."
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Jan 11, 2015 09:05
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*calm sounds of machinery, faint winds traveling through a narrow access passage* *A low, slightly hoarse, moderately drunk, but very controlled voice* I honestly never knew whether Julian didn't notice the tracks, or merely pretended not to. I'd developed the thirst for real needle injections of biomemetic gel when stumbling into Gul Marantz's little "Eagle's Nest" in the battle of Shithole-4 twenty years ago. I can still see his fat spoony grin turn into of whimpering pair of gray lips as I eyed the pouch on his desk. Finders, keepers, Gul. The type 5 phasers they have nowadays, all they can do is shoot those clean yellow beams. The type 4's, now, they had a little heft to 'em, and didn't record impacts on little iso-chips in 'em. With a good arm you could fracture the skull of a targ. Or, say, smash a spoon into a dinner plate. There's something about jamming a needle in just that right spot between the muscle and bone of my shoulder, just that spot, over and over again. It gets sore as hell, and the swelling makes it dislocate at the worst fooking times, but for some reason, that's the highway. Straight gel, jammed thick through a syringe, right in there in the gristle and the bone and the blood, but then it's the horns of Saint Patrick's Hot gently caress Casino blazing straightaway through every cell in a body. Fook me, there's nuthin' like it. Even the pinch of the needle, it's like those first plucked tones when tuning a violin. Feck, but this shite's hard to come by. I only tried once to get some from Julian. Made a deal with some nose-and-chin fuckface alien who thought he could rip it right out of the Doctor's mind. Hurt me almost as much as it hurt Julian for me to do it, but desperate times. And he was a smarmy little shite back then, he was. *gurgling sounds of a bottle being upended* *crinkling of rations pack being opened*
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Jan 11, 2015 09:43
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Blistex posted:Troi's telepathy has seen right through all this. "Captain, I'm sensing a lot of anger from Chief O'Brien..."
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Jan 11, 2015 09:48
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Remember when O'Brien was sentenced to alien hell-prison, and he was stuck there for like 25 years and made a friend who he then murdered for food, but then it turned out it had never happened at all and the aliens had just implanted the memory of going to prison for the better part of his life and the whole process had only taken a few minutes? That was hosed up
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Jan 11, 2015 11:02
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Fister Roboto posted:"Captain, I'm sensing a lot of anger from Chief O'Brien..." Just think about her tits, like everyone else. She'll never notice.
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Jan 11, 2015 15:14
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Makeout Patrol posted:Remember when O'Brien was sentenced to alien hell-prison, and he was stuck there for like 25 years and made a friend who he then murdered for food, but then it turned out it had never happened at all and the aliens had just implanted the memory of going to prison for the better part of his life and the whole process had only taken a few minutes? The most hosed up part was that everyone just treated it like he really did serve 25 years and was just going through PTSD, instead of the reality: he was subjected to an alien procedure that injected harmful programming into his brain. You'd think they'd have a team of Starfleet engineers working on a way to extract the offending program, but nah, its just an Irish enlisted man so why waste the resources.
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Jan 11, 2015 16:54
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It's not without precedent. Geordi was turned into the Manchurian Candidate, and the Cardies tortured Picard; all they got was counseling by Troi.
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Jan 11, 2015 17:17
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Mister Macys posted:It's not without precedent. Geordi was turned into the Manchurian Candidate, and the Cardies tortured Picard; all they got was counseling by Troi. Troi: "I sense that you are feeling scared and angry" Patient: "Yah, I told you that 15 minutes ago when the session started." Troi: "So. . . do you want to talk about it?" Patient: <blank stare> . . . "that's what I just finished talking about, my traumatic experience during that mission". Troi: "I'm sensing feelings of confusion?" Patient: ". . . ok, what next? Do you have some sort of treatment or medication? Some exercises to help me get through this?" Troi: "Do you want to talk about that?" Patient: <Looking around the walls of Troi's office for some sort of diploma or certificate. . . > Troi: "I'm sensing that you're feeling frustrated?" Patient: "So. . . can you give me a referral?"
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Jan 11, 2015 17:47
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The healthiest recovery was probably when Picard got turned back from a cyborg and just went home and beat up his brother and got drunk.
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Jan 11, 2015 19:07
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can we gold mine this then make a supplementary thread to continue on?
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Jan 11, 2015 19:08
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How about we make an 'itt you are William T. Riker' and goldmine THAT after a few shitposts?
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Jan 11, 2015 20:00
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Elfface posted:How about we make an 'itt you are William T. Riker' and goldmine THAT after a few shitposts? ITT you are wesley crusher.
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Jan 11, 2015 20:02
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