Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
Pron on VHS
Nov 14, 2005

Blood Clots
Sweat Dries
Bones Heal
Suck it Up and Keep Wrestling
around the league I'd like to see the NFC West all finish with more than 10 wins and Denver to get embarrassed and RG3 to keep spiraling into a bust

Chiefwise I'd like 8-8 and a great defense and no major injuries

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

AAAAA! Real Muenster
Jul 12, 2008

My QB is also named Bort

TNG posted:

Eli Manning denied the Patriots of two Super Bowls. I will declare him the greatest of all time because of this and will brook no argument.

Quoting for new page.

Coco13
Jun 6, 2004

My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.
Goals for this season:

Go to double-digit football games. All 7 Badger home games, @ Northwestern, against LSU in Houston, possibly @ Iowa, plus the Packer's Dec 28th home game against the Lions and UTSA @ Houston.

Also new pictures of sad mopey Ohio State fans in my Twitter feed every week.

Ben Has Tiny Weenus
Feb 17, 2007
MSU Will Not Be National Champions

So I really should learn to shut the hole under my nose.
Mississippi State Bulldogs

As a team:

Dak Prescott plays up to potential at QB (Heisman darkhorse, Jessie Palmer's man crush)
O Line stays healthy
Our 4th best in the SEC defense from last year (which returns 18/22 from the 2 deep) improves
Chris Jones becomes sophomore season Clowney
A kicker. Please. Brought in three more, so hopefully one can kick.

If this happens:

10-2 with a win in 1/3 of @LSU, @Bama, vs. Auburn
Cap One bowl


I am not normally a sunshine pumper. This could actually happen.

pillsburysoldier
Feb 11, 2008

Yo, peep that shit

For Florida State Seminoles

-Punting improves. No really our punter blows, oh my god.
-No injuries along the offensive line. Center spot is locked down by someone.
-Need at least one Fr WR recruit to emerge
-Repeat undefeated.
-Maintain #goACC as the #1 college football conference.

pillsburysoldier fucked around with this message at 04:21 on Jul 29, 2014

Lucky Samurai
Oct 4, 2011

Being jaded about something is so cool. You're just as useless as everybody else, but you get to be irritating and bitter about it.
Split with Pats
Sweep Dolphins
Mario Williams does another funny sack to Tannehill
Sweep Jets
Do something to Jets that makes Buttfumble look mundane
8-8 Please
Go to playoffs and I sacrifice Peyton Manning to the football gods in joy

Edit: For the Bills since I didn't say. Please Bills. 8-8 please.

Oh and kill Hoyer again so I can watch JFF magic.

D-LINK
Oct 1, 2007

I was talking to peachy Peach about kissy Kiss. He bought me a soda.

TNG posted:

Eli Manning denied the Patriots of two Super Bowls. I will declare him the greatest of all time because of this and will brook no argument.

Qft

Calvin Johnson Jr.
Dec 8, 2009
I hope Detroit goes hard as gently caress and dominates their division at least

computer parts
Nov 18, 2010

PLEASE CLAP

Calvin Johnson Jr. posted:

I hope Detroit goes hard as gently caress and dominates their division at least

The Packers will inevitably win the division but maybe they'll get a spot.

Boo This Man
Mar 25, 2008

TheGreyGhost posted:



The Ohio State Buckeyes

- Beat Sparty in East Lansing because gently caress Mark Dantonio and his boring rear end offense.
- Don't loving lose in a hilarious fashion to Navy's bullshit offense.
- Don't loving lose to Rutgers or Maryland.
- Beat the new rape apologist in charge of Penn State football into the turf.
- Braxton Miller stays healthy for the whole season.

You, I like you since you hate the rape apologist as well.

oshuaj
Jul 25, 2007


I just want Packers to stay healthy. And win and whatever, etc., etc., but mostly don't die.

Bjork Bjowlob
Feb 23, 2006
yes that's very hot and i'll deal with it in the morning


The Jets:

Vick to have enough in the tank to take some first team reps, take some pressure off Geno and give him time to develop. Pryor to come on quick and turn the safety position into less of a sieve and general rookie improvement across the board (Milliner I'm looking at you)

Beat the Pats twice and be in contention for the division past the midway point of the season (wishful thinking)

If nothing else I hope the Dline stays terrifying, at least that's satisfying to watch.

Bjork Bjowlob fucked around with this message at 18:50 on Jul 30, 2014

Chilichimp
Oct 24, 2006

TIE Adv xWampa

It wamp, and it stomp

Grimey Drawer
I hope Julio Jones is A.) back and B.) doesn't get hurt again this year.

I also hope his presence gets the birds to 9-7 and a playoff berth.

FuzzySkinner
May 23, 2012

Josh Gordon gets his loving act together
That I will be able to drink this season out of pure joy, not because the Browns are terrible
That I won't find myself watching DVR'd F1 races in favor of watching the remainder of the Browns game.

Ehud
Sep 19, 2003

football.

Ehud posted:

I hope we go roughly .500 and miss the playoffs due to some close, flukey losses and poor coaching.

all of my hopes and goals came true :unsmith:

Cole
Nov 24, 2004

DUNSON'D
I don't know what I wished for but between the bucs and the gators I can tell you this poo poo wasn't it.

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


FuzzySkinner posted:

Josh Gordon gets his loving act together

:lol:

I didn't post it here, but my only real hope for the Ravens were playoffs, so :toot: (even when they're eliminated Saturday)

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN

FuzzySkinner posted:

Josh Gordon gets his loving act together
That I will be able to drink this season out of pure joy, not because the Browns are terrible
That I won't find myself watching DVR'd F1 races in favor of watching the remainder of the Browns game.

Yeah, about that...

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN

Benne posted:

College edition:

Washington Huskies

--Beat the loving Ducks
--Beat the loving Cougs
--Beat loving Stanford


That is all. Thanks for reading and God bless.

Well one out of three ain't bad. We almost beat Stanford this year! :toot:

No Safe Word
Feb 26, 2005

Since I didn't do any and I was bored, I went through and looked up all the Texans ones anyway:

Korranus posted:

The Texans don't draft first
:unsmith:

Intruder posted:

Andre Johnson doesn't retire or demand a trade
TBD

b0ng posted:

Don't be excruciating to watch.
Safe to say it wasn't "excruciating" even if at times it was uncomfortable.

Ghost of Reagan Past posted:

Houston Texans
- Don't suck.
- Don't start Tom Savage, ever.
- Kill/maim/terrify Andrew Luck.
- Be competent on offense.
- Yeah I guess we didn't
- Well he didn't start
- Not so much
- Definitely not so much


bhsman posted:

Texans!

1) Stay healthy - Last year we had such an abominable number of injuries that it'd be nice to not see guys like Foster, Cushing, and Joseph be out for entire months.

2) Consistent growth - I'm not really expecting playoffs this year, weak schedule or otherwise, and if given the choice I'd like to see the team get better as time goes on. In particular, I want to see the rookies be better at the end of the season than they were to begin with; if all that we have to show by the end of the season is a team that others will hate to play in 2015, then I'll be satisfied.

3) Win the close ones! - Houston ended up playing ten games last season decided by a touchdown or less and lost eight of them, with the other two being their only wins of the season. Any improvement there would be great therapy for all the gutted, bitter Sunday afternoons from last season.
1) Yeah, pretty healthy I guess in spite of the quarterback ICU and Clowney never being healthy to begin with
2) Ehhh... maybe?
3) 3-3 in games within 1 score (including 1 OT loss) ... I guess that's progress?

MAO TSE-TUNGACUNT posted:

All I ask is that the Texans win more than two games
:unsmith:

Wanvig posted:

Danny LaFever posted:

Same as its been the last 10 years. Actually win in Indy. See you next year!
Fixed for my Texans fans
Nope :smith:

bondster posted:

Houston Texans
-Be less of an embarrassment than last year
-Sweep the loving Titans
-Beat the Colts in Indy
-Have ok QB play
- Decidedly so
- Yeah
- NO
- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Chilichimp
Oct 24, 2006

TIE Adv xWampa

It wamp, and it stomp

Grimey Drawer

Chilichimp posted:

I hope Julio Jones is A.) back and B.) doesn't get hurt again this year.

I also hope his presence gets the birds to 9-7 and a playoff berth.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

ebg
Mar 31, 2008

MAO TSE-TUNGACUNT posted:

All I ask is that the Texans win more than two games

hey, look at that! :unsmith:

Wanvig
Sep 8, 2003


As I was talking to my Jets fan cubicle mate (we commiserate quite a bit about sports) the day after the Indy game, I was truly at a loss for words. This year we were an average to decent team playing a Colts team that weren't world beaters, and what happens? We lose two QBs in that game. Of course that would happen. It's right up there with losing to Dan Orlovsky (and the refs) in 2011. I'm just so tired of losing in Indianapolis.

For 2015? gently caress it, I'm hoping for a win in Indy again. It's a numbers game - we have to win sometime, right?

pillsburysoldier
Feb 11, 2008

Yo, peep that shit

pillsburysoldier posted:

For Florida State Seminoles

-Punting improves. No really our punter blows, oh my god.
-No injuries along the offensive line. Center spot is locked down by someone.
-Need at least one Fr WR recruit to emerge
-Repeat undefeated.
-Maintain #goACC as the #1 college football conference.



we moved our nfl LT to center and started playing a beautiful manchild at LT and it owns hard :smug:

#goacc

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Kalli posted:

Continue being the boot stomping on the face of the rest of the AFC East forever.

:unsmith:

b0ng
Jan 16, 2004

Thats a nice Game 7 you have there. Would be a shame if somebody nailed it down.
Well the Texans weren't excruciating but that offense was really bad for long stretches. Luckily I got the privledge of watching Watt put together another season of mind boggling plays and statistics.

wasianchickn
Sep 4, 2006

welp
My only real hopes were BOB gets the team to 8-8 with some kind of stability or consistency and that JJ Watt would get another DPOTY nod so :woop:

I don't even bother wishing for a win @ Indy so I can't be disappointed.

the mean lunch lady
Jun 24, 2009

went mad at sea
lots were drawn
Kroenke didn't survive
he was delicious

JRizzle posted:

St. Louis Rams
-Win at least 8 games
STOP WINNING JUST 7
-Beat all division rivals at home at least
-Top 7 defense
Top 5 might be doable with the defense being coordinated by Gregg Williams
-Be in the middle third offensively.
Sam Bradford playing a whole season, as well as the improved offensive line should get them there.

Mizzou Tigers
-Win the SEC East again
-Not lose the SEC Championship game in the 4th quarter

Well I guess I got both my Mizzou ones right. Too bad they lost the SEC Championship game way earlier than the 4th quarter.

The Rams managed to not hit any of my goals. Ugh.

That Works
Jul 22, 2006

Every revolution evaporates and leaves behind only the slime of a new bureaucracy


That Works posted:

1. Beat Atlanta.

2. Make the playoffs.

3. Win at least a playoff game.


Anything else would be gravy as long as we don't get knocked out of the playoffs in an embarrassing way.

gently caress

Chilichimp
Oct 24, 2006

TIE Adv xWampa

It wamp, and it stomp

Grimey Drawer

That Works posted:

gently caress

Wow, missed all three... and beating Atlanta wasn't even a high bar for this season.

Thermos H Christ
Sep 6, 2007

WINNINGEST BEVO
Oops doublepost

Thermos H Christ
Sep 6, 2007

WINNINGEST BEVO

Thermos H Christ posted:

8+ wins, no humiliating/blowout losses, establish a narrative that Texas could be scary again soon, keep building recruiting momentum.

Hahaha no.

Cole
Nov 24, 2004

DUNSON'D

Wanvig posted:

For 2015? gently caress it, I'm hoping for a win in Indy again. It's a numbers game - we have to win sometime, right?

Counterpoint: the lions in green bay

troofs
Feb 28, 2011

The better Manning.

troofs posted:

the Philadelphia eagles continue to not win the superbowl

God is good.

Metapod
Mar 18, 2012

Metapod posted:

Titans

-transition from 4-3 to 3-4 isn't disastrous
-locker plays entire season injury free
-locker proves to be a franchise qb
-have a top 10 oline
-sweep jags
-murder luck
-split texans
-win division
-trade shonn green and/or mccluster for anything

wrong on every single one by a long shot

AAAAA! Real Muenster
Jul 12, 2008

My QB is also named Bort

Metapod posted:

wrong on every single one by a long shot

Yikes.

Grittybeard
Mar 29, 2010

Bad, very bad!

JRizzle posted:

Well I guess I got both my Mizzou ones right. Too bad they lost the SEC Championship game way earlier than the 4th quarter.

It was a one score game going into the fourth quarter.

A one score game with Alabama going in from the two or something, but technically still a game at that point.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Febreeze
Oct 24, 2011

I want to care, butt I dont

Febreeze posted:

Things I'd like to see from the Giants

-Eli brings down his turnovers. For all the blame we can lay on other reasons, Eli still played like poo poo last year and the excuses only go so far. He's always been a pick machine so to hope for under 12 or so is unrealistic, but between 12-16 would be his average and we can win with that average. Also, hope that he is and stays healthy. - :)
-Just a general overall more efficient offense. It felt like Eli was always going 10+ yards or more, either by design or because we refused to pick up chunk yardage and were stuck in 3rd and longs constantly. I'd like a more streamlined system, I'd like to see more high percentage plays, just a bit more dink n dunk. - :)
-O line get's it's poo poo together. Beatty had a great 2012 then fell apart last year. We need 2012 beatty. - Eh
-JPP comes back healthy and returns to form - :)
-DaMonster picks up where Tuck left off - gently caress
-Make Philly & Dallas fans sad at least once each. - gently caress

Things I'd like to see around the league

-Dalton steps up his game and becomes a franchise QB. (I just have a weird love for him) AJ McCarron gets caught in a drug scandal and never plays football again - I wish this happened, although Dalton improved
-Mike Sam at least makes it into a depth/backup role - gently caress
-JFF able to pull off his crazy poo poo at an NFL level - gently caress
-The goddamn Patriots miss the playoffs or be at least a wildcard for once. Same with the Packers. Go Lions/Bears/Vikings - gently caress
-Rivers doesn't get a ring - :)
-schaub does - ......fuuuuuuuuccccck
-Cowboys go 8-8, after starting 8-0 before Romo goes down and Weeden comes in to tank them - gently caress
-The Cards win the NFC west and the Rams are a wildcard - gently caress
-More hilarious Aldon Smith tomfoolery. More Sherman bullshit. More Walrus. - gently caress
-Hernandez gets put away for life without parole - gently caress

Overall, gently caress

ROSS MY SALAD posted:

I hope febreeze gets gangrene on both hands

Only my left hand, bitch

Febreeze fucked around with this message at 02:53 on Dec 31, 2014

  • Locked thread