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HJB
Feb 16, 2011

:swoon: I can't get enough of are Dan :swoon:


The World Cup is always a time of celebration, of unity, of coming together and speaking a universal language (the language of football, not Chinese), but it is also a time of much hardship and sadness as many countries are unable to take part, and therefore means their players are dead. Work with me here. So why don't you take a moment with me to have a minute's silence, pour out a 40, or wave your mobile phone around on the "lighter" setting, and remember some of those who will not be with us come June.

===
Zlatan Ibrahimovic [SWEDEN]
===




Who dares wins, except in Zlatan's case, as he's not on the plane. He tried but failed to win the legendary Battle Of The Squad Carriers, losing out to CR7™ and the Portugals.



If you have a spare few days, please immerse yourself in this link right here. Thanks.

===
Gareth Bale [WALES]
===




You may have watched a rather dashing fellow single-handedly win the Champions League for Real Madrid, and thought to yourself "Gosh, I sure cannot wait to watch that guy at the World Cup".* Unfortunately for you, Gareth Bale was born with a disease known as "Being Welsh", and as such will never feature at a major tournament as long as you or I live. The world's most expensive player on the world's biggest stage? Get Real.

*Angel Di Maria will, in fact, be at the World Cup

===
Petr Cech [CECH REPUBLIC]
===




If you thought a man so revered by his home country they named it after him would most definitely be at the tournament, think again. No, not even Chelsea Chelsea Chelsea's goalkeeping stalwart himself could steer the Czechs to qualification. He will, however, been seen outside various grounds flogging his adorable range of headwear.

===
Kris Boyd [SCOTLAND]
===




Being arguably the greatest striker to grace the northern wastelands known as Scotland isn't enough for Kris Boyd to get a seat on the plane, but he would have got them there himself if he had better service, I mean having to play with the likes of the Fletchers, one a S'land reject, the other a bowel eject, didn't help matters. His scoring record speaks for itself:



===
Steevy Chong Hue [TAHITI]
===




The man who lit up the prestigious Confederations Cup in 2013 for a country with a storied history, Tahiti's Steevy Chong Hue sadly will not be baffling Uruguayans with his technical range of skill, ability, and kicking a ball forward. He will be leaving this honour to Steevy Gee.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-IhJnPJAls

===
George Forsyth [PERU]
===


No idea who he is but I like his name.

===
Danny Higginbotham [GIBRALTAR]
===




The greatest ever footballer to have family that may or may not have come from Gibraltar, Higginbotham was so committed to the cause that he retired from club football to concentrate on his international duties. Sadly for Danny, he couldn't guide Gibraltar to the World Cup, mainly because they aren't eligible, and so has decided to hang up his boots in protest, ready to return upon recognition. Possibly.

These guys, and more, won't be taking part, but dry your eyes, and also read this article which kind of does what I wanted to do but more neatly. Feel free to write your own player pieces. Peace out.

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vyelkin
Jan 2, 2011
The Entire Canadian National Team



None of these stalwart players will be appearing at the World Cup. None of them have appeared at a World Cup since 1986. The world weeps for what might have been had these sporting legends been allowed to take the field, but unfortunately corruption, bribes from our rivals, refereeing errors, all our good players playing for the countries their grandparents were born in, being in a highly competitive footballing region, and being really poo poo at football all conspired together to prevent us from qualifying.

We'll get 'em next time.

:canada:

Bogan Krkic
Oct 31, 2010

Swedish style? No.
Yugoslavian style? Of course not.
It has to be Zlatan-style.

This is another link to a list of players who aren't going, but these are the players whose countries are going to be there. Trigger warning: written by Australians

http://theworldgame.sbs.com.au/blog/2014/05/16/best-xi-not-make-cut

HJB
Feb 16, 2011

:swoon: I can't get enough of are Dan :swoon:
I considered doing a few like that too, but hey, effort. Glad something like it already exists. Possible side-topic on how many years a goalkeeper year is worth ??

Mr. Mambold
Feb 13, 2011

Aha. Nice post.



At least Cech played in a couple back when he was only a bit geriatric. Shame Ibra and Bale never will.

advanced statsman
Dec 26, 2012

ISLAM FC
Wales are a proper poo poo team, but Sweden had some chances. Too bad Ibra will be dead by the next World Cup.

Mans
Sep 14, 2011

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS


Daniel Carriço, shown here giving Rakitic a confidence boost before departing to Brazil with the Croatian football team, will watch the world cup at home because Paulo Bento is a spiteful little man of tatical reasons.

Charlotte Hornets
Dec 30, 2011

by Fritz the Horse
there's always the Euros

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

Mr. Mambold posted:

At least Cech played in a couple back when he was only a bit geriatric. Shame Ibra and Bale never will.

Noted old man Mambo calling 31 year old Cech geriatric.

belgend
Mar 6, 2008

me when The Club do another win

Timmy-san

lomzus
Mar 18, 2009

Mr. Mambold posted:

At least Cech played in a couple back when he was only a bit geriatric. Shame Ibra and Bale never will.

Ibra played in both 2002 and 2006.

Mr. Mambold
Feb 13, 2011

Aha. Nice post.



lomzus posted:

Ibra played in both 2002 and 2006.

How did I miss that?

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

Mr. Mambold posted:

How did I miss that?

Alzheimer's

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corpuscollossus
Apr 19, 2007
Thread pointless without pricks

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