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Xaris
Jul 25, 2006

Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry
lmao. SLENDERMAN STRIKES AGAIN

quote:

A Las Vegas couple who gunned down two police officers and a civilian before killing themselves apparently looked at law enforcement as oppressors, a sheriff's department official said Monday.

Among the clues: a "Don't Tread on Me" flag and a Nazi swastika the couple placed on one of the police officers they ambushed Sunday at a pizza restaurant. They also pinned onto the officer's body a note saying something to the effect of "this is the beginning of the revolution," Second Assistant Sheriff Kevin McMahill told reporters.
...
The neighbor, Krista Koch, told the station the man also sometimes dressed as Slenderman, a fictional horror character that recently surfaced in the stabbing of a 12-year-old girl in Wisconsin.

What did this have to do with them shooting the police officers? who loving knows

i cant wait for slenderman to get inserted into every murder for the next couple new cycles

sa is now responsible for killing pigs, gently caress yea

Xaris fucked around with this message at 20:29 on Jun 9, 2014

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Rambling Robot
Sep 13, 2011
Duggar Fan Club Superstar #1 LOL
FOX NEWS, AIR THAT INTERVIEW AND SLENDERMAN MIGHT CALM DOWN!!!!!

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



Slenderman is clearly part of the SomethingAwful Nazi death cult.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all

CaptainSarcastic posted:

Slenderman is clearly part of the SomethingAwful Nazi death cult.



Hey, man, the SA Death Cult includes Nazis, but that's only one part of our mythos. We're not all " jawohl mein fuehrer," 24/7. You should come check out the SADC megathread. You might find something there for you.

E: you'll need to pony up the $100 for a DeepForums account tho.

Nanomashoes
Aug 18, 2012

tacodaemon posted:

the adolescent boy murder m.o. is the mass public shooting whereas girls murder as some kind of bizarre multi-girl conspiracy to lure someone somewhere and stab/bludgeon them to death. that "I don't like mondays" girl from the 70s is the only exception I can think of

Glad to see that despite the misandry in todays society men still have a higher KDR. females can't even stab someone to death right.

CuddleCryptid
Jan 11, 2013

Things could be going better

Xaris posted:

lmao. SLENDERMAN STRIKES AGAIN


What did this have to do with them shooting the police officers? who loving knows

i cant wait for slenderman to get inserted into every murder for the next couple new cycles

sa is now responsible for killing pigs, gently caress yea

Prediction: every murder and assault for the next three months will be shown to have been influenced by slenderman because someone involved once put on a suit. Moral panic ahoy

p.s. hail Satan Slenderman

a shiny rock
Nov 13, 2009

where will slenderman strike next

Facebook Aunt
Oct 4, 2008

wiggle wiggle




waitwhatno posted:

slenderman is more of a female oriented father figure, for example i could never imagine going fishing or learning to shave with him


Young girls do love weird-rear end father figures.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_9hfHvQSNo

quote:

Sometimes i think that you'll never
Understand me
But something tells me together
We'd be happy


That's all i wanted
But sometimes love can be mistaken
For a crime

That's all i wanted
Just to see my baby's
Blue eyed shine
This time i think that my lover
Understands me
If we have faith in each other
Then we can be
Strong

I will be your father figure
Put your tiny hand in mine
I will be your preacher teacher
Anything you have in mind
I will be your father figure
I have had enough of crime
I will be the one who loves you
Until the end of time


If you are the desert
I'll be the sea
If you ever hunger -
Hunger for me
Whatever you ask for
That's what i'll be.


In retrospect kind of creepy, but back in 1987 this was every sexy rear end hell to teenage girls.

jscolon2.0
Jul 9, 2001

With great payroll, comes great disappointment.
Pilot crashes MH370 into ocean, to become Slenderman proxy.

Digi_Kraken
Sep 4, 2011

CaptainSarcastic posted:

Slenderman is clearly part of the SomethingAwful Nazi death cult.




As both a fan of right wing extremist politics and this gay retarded website where can I get my armband and hittin' stick

put me in coach I'm ready

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Reporting for shovel mission Sir.
Truly no one is safe.

FuzzySkinner
May 23, 2012

How come on a stabbing spree because of Assboat, The Goatman, or Tubgirl.

was thinking they would have inspired more murders honestly.

Noctis Horrendae
Nov 1, 2013

notlupus posted:

It's like the late 80s and early 90s all over again. :allears:

Ban D&D

alextide32
Nov 10, 2010

The Flying Lobster
Just had my parents ask me who "this slenderman character" is... Thanks SA!

pop fly to McGillicutty
Feb 2, 2004

A peckish little mouse!
Mods please change my name to Hermano Delgado, gracias in advance.

FlamingLiberal
Jan 18, 2009

Would you like to play a game?



Now Lowtax is taping an interview on CNN

Rambling Robot
Sep 13, 2011
Duggar Fan Club Superstar #1 LOL

FlamingLiberal posted:

Now Lowtax is taping an interview on CNN

lazy "journalism".

why do they interview lowtax?

is not like he's anything to do with slenderman (?)

Hemingway To Go!
Nov 10, 2008

im stupider then dog shit, i dont give a shit, and i dont give a fuck, and i will never shut the fuck up, and i'll always Respect my enemys.
- ernest hemingway

FlamingLiberal posted:

Now Lowtax is taping an interview on CNN

remember lowtax, less fart noises this time

Icon Of Sin
Dec 26, 2008



FlamingLiberal posted:

Now Lowtax is taping an interview on CNN

:munch: this should be good.

e: hail SAtan

DerekSmartymans
Feb 14, 2005

The
Copacetic
Ascetic

Trixie Hardcore posted:

Everybody knows that the only real way to summon Slendermen is to order exactly 666 red staplers from Staples & then incorrectly miscategorize them as toner cartridges in your report to Audit. Then you wait 5-7 business days & eventually you will try to print a report or something and the paper will jam & you will fix the jam and the printer will print out a Legal size page even though you set it to Letter. When this happens, it's time. You have to murder Peggy from Admin, it doesn't matter how you do it but you have to ensure that you don't damage her heart. Take her heart & an inter-office envelope, make sure to scratch out the last recipient's name & write "ATTN: SLENDER MAN" on it & place the heart inside it & seal. Then place the heart laden envelope in the OUT box & wait. That is unless Peggy was the one who handled all the outgoing mail in which case if you know how to work the postage machine you can do it yourself or just find someone else who knows how. The mail isn't technically leaving the office just print out $6.66 of postage & slap it somewhere on the envelope. Wait an additional 5-7 business days. You'll receive an invite to a continuing education class entitled "MURDER MURDER MURDER DEATH", accept the invite even if it's at an inconvenient time, no one has time for those ever anyway. Once you accept the invite you should receive a file containing the module immediately but if it's been a few hours & you haven't received it just give IT a call & they will have you leave your computer on overnight & the module should be downloaded by the next day. The file is called BLOODKILL.exe, just download that straight to the desktop & it should install itself. The included PowerPoint presentation will have all the details you need for the final summoning ritual but the short version is you need at least 4 hours PTO time, 7 baby teeth & reverse consecrated Holy Water. Follow all the instructions in the presentation & submit your request to the Slenderman (e.g. living in his WI mansion, death of your enemy, boy you like likes you back, etc.) and a Slenderman representative will submit a ticket containing your request (IMPORTANT: make sure you write down your confirmation number). Wait an additional 5-7 business days. If it's been more than 10 business days & you haven't been contacted by a Slenderman you should call the Hotline. Usually they will give you some bullshit about not having a ticket on file for you or their system indicates you didn't complete the ritual properly which is when you're like "BAM! CONFIRMATION NUMBER, BITCH!" Don't be afraid to have your ticket escalated to a supervisor. Yes, you're going to have night terrors for three months afterwards as a result but only a supervisor has clearance to expedite your ticket so it's totally worth it. You will know Slenderman has granted your request when you can smell burnt popcorn even though no one will loving own up to popping popcorn in the microwave, even though you put a sign on the microwave SPECIFICALLY ABOUT NOT BURNING POPCORN JESUS CHRIST THE WHOLE OFFICE SMELLS LIKE IT. Obviously, when you die Slenderman gets your soul & does terrible things to your soul's butt for all eternity but it's a pretty sweet deal overall.

Still easier than bitcoin.

waffles beyond waffles
Jun 22, 2008

Oh, what a day...
What a lovely day!
The $6.66 in postage must be paid in Bitcoins.

The Risk
Mar 6, 2014
To be honest these girls look like true goons.

Goons.jpg

https://twitter.com/chicagotribune/status/476705653147598848

FlamingLiberal
Jan 18, 2009

Would you like to play a game?



Lowtax just said he's going to be on Erin Burnett's CNN show today.

Rambling Robot
Sep 13, 2011
Duggar Fan Club Superstar #1 LOL

FlamingLiberal posted:

Lowtax just said he's going to be on Erin Burnett's CNN show today.

Hopefully he gets the needed exposure so SA can be sold to some Chinese investors.

CRIP EATIN BREAD
Jun 24, 2002

Hey stop worrying bout my acting bitch, and worry about your WACK ass music. In the mean time... Eat a hot bowl of Dicks! Ice T



Soiled Meat
http://www.theonion.com/articles/more-crimes-linked-to-slender-man-internet-meme,36244

thanks, something awful

Rambling Robot
Sep 13, 2011
Duggar Fan Club Superstar #1 LOL

the onion, what something awful always wanted to be.

The Alchemist
Dec 12, 2010
dead 12 year old is one less rear end in a top hat polluting the poo poo out of earth and being slow on the highway in front of you in the future :colbert:

a misanthrope
Jun 21, 2010

:burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug::burgerpug:

The Alchemist posted:

dead 12 year old is one less rear end in a top hat polluting the poo poo out of earth and being slow on the highway in front of you in the future :colbert:

ok now condense that so i can put it on a t-shirt

crusader_complex
Jun 4, 2012

The Alchemist posted:

dead 12 year old is one less rear end in a top hat polluting the poo poo out of earth and being slow on the highway in front of you in the future :colbert:

did she die?

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Facebook Aunt
Oct 4, 2008

wiggle wiggle





No. But it's still not to late for her to develop an antibiotic resistant infection. Keep your fingers crossed!

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