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Faux-Ass Nonsense
Feb 9, 2013

by Lowtax

Phil Niekro posted:

a sliver of peeled ginger inserted into the anus is a quick and easy way to perk up your cat or depressed, polyamorous roommate

think this was in a Roald Dahl story, but they put the ginger in the back of a horse so it would win the race by trying to run away from itself

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weirdly chilly pussy
Oct 6, 2007

What a fail, OP

just spiced up my cat like told in the op, and you know what? The damned fucker just licked his rear end clean like it aint nothing! Voting this a one, gently caress you op.

Shirley Crabtree
Aug 8, 2012

geke rowsperg posted:

What a fail, OP

just spiced up my cat like told in the op, and you know what? The damned fucker just licked his rear end clean like it aint nothing! Voting this a one, gently caress you op.

I'm so loving confused I thought you were the OP I really don't know who is who anymore am I still me?

Wendigee
Jul 19, 2004

Faux-rear end Nonsense posted:

think this was in a Roald Dahl story, but they put the ginger in the back of a horse so it would win the race by trying to run away from itself

gingering up a horse is a time honored way to cheat during horse trading. An old nag will dance around and look alive with a bit of the ol' ginger in its bum.

inkmoth
Apr 25, 2014


So I don't actually own a cat but a great way to spice up your friend's cat is to lightly spray them with a squirt bottle, which first activates the water-sensitive activity receptors of the beast. Then, you rub lots of catnip into the moist fur of the animal and enjoy the chaos.

ashgromnies
Jun 19, 2004

VikingSkull posted:

I like cats because they kill things for sport

How do you feel about rednecks?

Trivia
Feb 8, 2006

I'm an obtuse man,
so I'll try to be oblique.
Rubber band socks on cat's legs.

Or, put sock on cat's head.

Both are good for a few laughs.

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec

Trixie Hardcore
Jul 1, 2006

Placeholder.
I have a cat but I've never done weird things to his body for entertainment. So, that's my story.

Frog Act
Feb 10, 2012
Probation
Can't post for 14 hours!
sometimes when my cat is running by my i lightly slap the top of his tail like "yo whats up man"

porkchop_express
May 27, 2004

psyopmonkey posted:

Be nice and gently pet your cat. Tell her how much you love her in a soft voice. Buy her cute cat hoodies.

Feed her Blue Mountain and rare steak bits.

Treat your cat like a princess.

:toxogond:

Alucard
Mar 11, 2002
Pillbug

geke rowsperg posted:

What a fail, OP

just spiced up my cat like told in the op, and you know what? The damned fucker just licked his rear end clean like it aint nothing! Voting this a one, gently caress you op.

Did you use mustard powder, yellow mustard in a squeeze top, or Dijon? The powder works best

porkchop_express
May 27, 2004
for me to grey poupon

TEAYCHES
Jun 23, 2002

i like to pet a cat

porkchop_express
May 27, 2004

THS posted:

i like to pet a cat

Irradiation
Sep 14, 2005

I understand your frustration.

THS posted:

i like to pet a cat

psyopmonkey
Nov 15, 2008

by Lowtax

THS posted:

i like to pet cats

ethanol
Jul 13, 2007



Can't believe you people actually pay for something that makes you shovel its poo poo you god damned poo poo shovelers

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

tell youŕe cat he is cute and pet him so he purrs.

:toxogond:

EXTREME INSERTION
Jun 4, 2011

by LadyAmbien
I'm calling the police on all of you

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

didn't you read Maus?
The moral of Maus is that cats are the master race.

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec

ethanol posted:

Can't believe you people actually pay for something that makes you shovel its poo poo you god damned poo poo shovelers

Frog Act
Feb 10, 2012
Probation
Can't post for 14 hours!

FreudianSlippers posted:

didn't you read Maus?
The moral of Maus is that cats are the master race.

i think you misread that

sluggo is mad
Jan 14, 2012

Buglord

Tonetta
Jul 9, 2013

look mother look at ME MOTHER MOTHER I AM A HOMESTIXK NOW

**methodically removes and eats own clothes*
what is the best way to serve dead cat

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec

Tonetta posted:

what is the best way to serve dead cat

with mustard in it's rear end

porkchop_express
May 27, 2004

FreudianSlippers posted:

tell youŕe cat he is cute and pet him so he purrs.

:toxogond:

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FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

Tonetta posted:

what is the best way to serve dead cat

Carve this symbol into an altar deep in the woods:

Slather it with the blood of a raven with your left hand while chanting his name and make sure to get the blood deep into the carving.
Place the cat on the altar.
Bring him fresh blood until he is strong enough to give you further instructions.

Do his bidding until death.

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