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just buy fancy vodka put it a water bottle and be a vodka snob.
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Aug 2, 2014 02:54
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| # ? Apr 24, 2024 18:11 |
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There are three different types of wine: Red, Sparkling and stupid trash for alcoholics. Stick to the first one, unless you are rich. Buy overpriced french champagne if you're rich and drink it out of a sippycup.
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Aug 2, 2014 02:56
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wine is for women and filthy europeans. drink bourbon till you wake up in a puddle of poo poo and have a sore liver.
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Aug 2, 2014 02:58
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and make sure you pair the wine with some food (its ok to steal other peoples ideas for that), how the right wine and food work together is like half the enjoyment of drinking wine...nearly as goood as the alcohol intoxication (however it also doesnt require a commitment to getting yourself drunk to practice). once again, no fancy food required...a chipotle steak fajita burrito and a bottle of two buck chuck shiraz can be fantastic together when consumed simultaneously
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Aug 2, 2014 03:07
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Acquire a taste for the cabernets, merlots, etc. Helps the digestive, fo reals
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Aug 2, 2014 03:41
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Rum you idiot Edit: this is the kind of inspired posting that rum leads to if you want to follow in my footsteps
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Aug 2, 2014 03:47
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dontcareaboutname posted:drink bourbon till you wake up in a puddle of poo poo and have a sore liver. this happens quicker than you'd think
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Aug 2, 2014 03:48
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Wine, cheese and olives make for the best drat pre-dinner snack Also makes you feel like some kind of roman aristocrat, especially if you have a post-dinner orgy
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Aug 2, 2014 03:55
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Can we get some cheese & olive recommendations going
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Aug 2, 2014 04:00
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Vengarr posted:Wine, cheese and olives make for the best drat pre-dinner snack This orgy... doesn't taste good.
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Aug 2, 2014 04:18
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First: Look at the color of the edge of the wine against a white surface. Lighter it is, younger it is. Unless it's a white in which case gently caress you human being. Then swirl. You're looking for the legs that drip on the side of the glass. More Closely grouped, the more alcoholic. Then smell. Think of the memories this scent evokes. Finally sip and taste. Really let the taste overflow your tongue. Congrats! Time to get drunk and finger a waitress in a poo poo restaurant near boca juniors in buenos aires. You're cheating on your gf in the same room sure but you were never good enough for her anyway.
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Aug 2, 2014 04:23
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OMFG FURRY posted:apply this to anything associated with intellectual hobbies that you don't know anything about Yeah it's not like there's a substantial body of research showing that no one can actually distinguish between different wine varieties in a totally blind test or anything.
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Aug 2, 2014 04:36
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lexan posted:Yeah it's not like there's a substantial body of research showing that no one can actually distinguish between different wine varieties in a totally blind test or anything. mmm, vintage serious post, it has notes of sincere, care, and finishes with a refreshing dash of gbs
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Aug 2, 2014 04:46
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Fetus Tree posted:Can we get some cheese & olive recommendations going If you have an amish market near you, get their cheese. It is ridiculously good. Otherwise just get whatever, I'm not a cheese snob. Cracker Barrel cheese is pretty good. Manzanilla olives stuffed with pimento or get out. Black olives are the sign of the devil. Professor Shark posted:This orgy... doesn't taste good. If fine dining isn't your style, perhaps try eating out?
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Aug 2, 2014 04:48
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You just drink wine. Eventually you'll get bored of what you can afford. As if by magic you have become a wine snob.
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Aug 2, 2014 05:12
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watch fraiser and copy his mannerisms
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Aug 2, 2014 05:13
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OMFG FURRY posted:mmm, vintage serious post, it has notes of sincere, care, and finishes with a refreshing dash of gbs lol
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Aug 2, 2014 05:16
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Smoked Gouda goes with Reds Hard Parm slices and salami goes well with Whites. Mozzarella goes well with sweet wines. Plain Kalamata olives. No other. Water Crackers are acceptable, if your a huge vuhjay.
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Aug 2, 2014 05:36
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become a fortified wine snob instead and pass out on front stoops and/or your own squalor
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Aug 2, 2014 05:40
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Subliminal Sauce posted:Acquire a taste for the cabernets, merlots, etc. Helps the digestive, fo reals merlot is scrub tier wine
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Aug 2, 2014 06:07
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just butchug wine. that way you can eat cheese and olives at the same time.
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Aug 2, 2014 06:08
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1.) Become a wine-drunk. It's cool though, because housewives do it. 2.) Talk about tannens and oakiness. That's pretty much it.
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Aug 2, 2014 06:14
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Fetus Tree posted:Can we get some cheese & olive recommendations going
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Aug 2, 2014 07:04
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Be one of those wine snobs who get all snobby about 10-20 dollar bottles of wine being just as good as 200 dollar bottles of wine. Make sure to bring up that wine 'judges' (use air quotes) will fail to tell the difference between expensive wine and 2 buck chuck at least once during every dinner conversation when out with friends. Don't fail to mention "oak/mahogany/pine notes, with a hint of (insert name of berry here)" when tasting a bottle of wine that cost 9 bucks that tastes like fermented Juicy Juice. Basically be my parents.
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Aug 2, 2014 07:30
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| # ? Apr 24, 2024 18:11 |
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It's been scientifically proven that nobody can taste all the poo poo they claim to taste when sipping a glass of wine. Op can trust me because I worked at Total Wine for like 4 months before walking out.
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Aug 2, 2014 07:41
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