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A young man’s at the bowling alley trying to make a tough 7-10 split. Then he see’s something unusual – Freddy’s visage at the end of the lane. Freddy says “someone’s got a case of E-bowl-a” then the bowling ball (with the kid still holding it) flies down the lane and knocks both pins down perfectly. The pin setting machine comes down and the kid gets mangled in it, of course. Harald fucked around with this message at 21:19 on Aug 5, 2014 |
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Aug 5, 2014 21:16
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 08:39 |
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Drad_Bert posted:Doobie is working the grill at his dog house when Freddy appears behind him "Wanna FRIE?" he laughs before forcing Doobies head onto the hot grill. Doobie staggers back. Freddy is drinking a soda. "Nothing like a ice cold coke!" He graphically shoves the bottle into doobies anus. Doobie explodes in a shower of coca cola ftfy
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Aug 5, 2014 21:17
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A guy is playing pool against freddy because poolsharking is his dream warrior power. He's about to hit in the 8 ball and beat freddy. He hits the cue ball too low and jumps it off the table. "Thats a scratch!" Freddy laughs and cuts his face open
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Aug 5, 2014 21:26
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A doctor is getting the blood work for one of her patients. She returns to her office with the results. Turns out, the patient is Freddy, who is eating a carrot. "What's up, doc?" he quips before pulling a giant mallet out of nowhere and crushing her with it
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Aug 5, 2014 21:40
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A man is trying to score some sweet poon by peacocking at the club. Suddenly Freddy's face appears on the man's fedora. Freddy cackles wordlessly while pointing his claw at a nearby door. The man's brain explodes due to Freddy's prior neurolinguistic programming
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Aug 5, 2014 21:46
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Freddy teams up with Aatrek who persuades Freddy to give up killing kids and go back to fiddling them
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Aug 5, 2014 21:54
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Freddy halfheartedly stabs a teenage couple having sex, skewering them both and mumbling something while looking out the window. Later we see freddy slump home to a barren apartment where he sits down on a ratty couch and rests his face in his hands, gouging his cheeks seriously with his blade-gloves. Blood seeps down his hands as he sobs wretchedly, the blood is symbolic of tears he can no longer weep due to his demonhood.
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Aug 5, 2014 22:19
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A man's car breaks down on the side of the road at night in the rain. He goes to his trunk and retrieves his spare tire and jack/tire-iron. Mid tire change, Freddy appears behind the man and says "You look a little TIRE-d" and clocks the man with the tire iron. While the man is splayed out on his back Freddy quips "And now you're a little FLAT" and takes the spare tire and smashes the man's head in, killing him. "I guess I've let all the air out of this situation" mentions Freddy as he dematerializes into the fires of hell.
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Aug 5, 2014 22:48
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Freddy gets pulled over by a cop for a DUI. He tries to argue with the officer but is clearly slurring his words, he gets out of the car, staggering, and the officer tasers him repeatedly. Freddy shits himself at some point. The officer sprinkles some crack on his body and unloads his pistol into Freddy's unconscious body while radioing for backup saying he's under fire. Freddy wakes up in a jail cell hungover and contemplates his life for awhile.
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Aug 5, 2014 23:07
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High school jock Chet encounters Freddy in the locker room. The locker room is rusty, though. Freddy taunts, "See you in the SEQUEL,...CHET." The movie ends. You must buy another movie ticket.
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Aug 5, 2014 23:12
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Drad_Bert posted:Doobie is working the grill at his dog house when Freddy appears behind him "Wanna FRIE?" he laughs before forcing Doobies head onto the hot grill. Doobie staggers back. Freddy is drinking a soda. "Nothing like an ice cold coke!" He graphically shoves the bottle into doobies anus. Doobie explodes in a shower of coca cola The problem here is the grill isn't hot enough to cook doobs. Also his family would be dead and freddy would say, "CORPSES PILED HIGH!"
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Aug 5, 2014 23:14
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Al Borland posted:Also his family would be dead and freddy would say, "CORPSES PILED HIGH!"
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Aug 5, 2014 23:16
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Freddy covers his victim in rubbery makeup.
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Aug 5, 2014 23:19
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A baker is pouring flour into a giant mixing bowl. When freddy appears behind him and pushes him into the giant bowl. He turns the mixer from high to murder as the baker screams in agony. He cackles gleefully and says, "I really kneaded that!"
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Aug 5, 2014 23:28
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A fat nerd is sitting in front of his pc computer on a forum for the "game" star citizen. Nerd is debating another internet nerd over which of the newest space plants looks best on the back of the space toilet. The avatar of the other nerd turns into Freddy's face, which grins devilishly. A torrent of space poo poo gushes from the the monitor and Freddy's computer voice says "This was a lovely argument anyway." All air is then sucked from the room and the nerd's lungs pop out through his mouth. Freddy snips the lungs from the bronchial tubes saying "Thanks for the donation, your contributions will make Star Citizen a reality, a hellish reality, hahahahahaaha." Freddy then empties the nerd's remaining bitcoins and fiat currency into the Shart Shitizen donation link.
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Aug 5, 2014 23:34
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Al Borland posted:The problem here is the grill isn't hot enough to cook doobs. Freddy uses his nightmare powers to superheat the grill You're right on the second count. I'll fix that for the final cut of "Freddy Vs. Beetlejuice"
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Aug 6, 2014 00:20
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if freddy looking for frog him name is hopkin green frog freddy lost his frog 329-3228 Love, Freddy P.S. I'll find my frog Who took my frog Who found my frog
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Aug 6, 2014 00:52
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Ron Paul is sitting at a computer, checking the value of gold when Freddy appears. "You're worried about the fed but you should really be trying to end the FRED!!!!" Freddy cackles. Ron Paul spins in his chair, trying to grab his decorative antique musket but Freddy gets there first. "Time for a second American revolution!!" Freddy laughs before spinning Ron Paul around and shooting his face with the musket
Drad_Bert fucked around with this message at 05:17 on Aug 6, 2014 |
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Aug 6, 2014 05:01
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A woman is vacuuming her living room but things keep getting stuck in the vacuum cleaner. She has to stop and pull out a shoe, then she has to stop and pull out a magazine. The vacuum is just too strong. Suddenly Freddy is behind her! Freddy says "Dang, that vacuum cleaner really STINKS" and puts a clothespin on his nose. Then he punches her as hard as he can! The woman dies.
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Aug 7, 2014 00:09
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 08:39 |
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Dean of Swing posted:"Solid Gold."
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Sep 17, 2014 00:27
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