Week 2 Matchups and Analysis

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Fenrir: Apr 26, 2005; I found my kendo stick, bitch!; Lipstick Apathy

ROSS MY SALAD posted:

Yes. It was the worst special teams in nfl history. I cried a lot

Hey, the Packers of the last several years have probably rivaled that at least a few times. Remember when a backup offensive lineman ran a kickoff back for 71 yards? Yeahhh :suicide:

# ? Sep 14, 2014 00:59

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# ? Apr 20, 2024 00:02

Grittybeard: Mar 29, 2010; Bad, very bad!

Fenrir posted:

Hey, the Packers of the last several years have probably rivaled that at least a few times. Remember when a backup offensive lineman ran a kickoff back for 71 yards? Yeahhh

No man, you don't understand. There's bad and then there's the Chargers ST that year.

Washington last year is the only team that even comes close.

# ? Sep 14, 2014 01:00

Durandal1707: Oct 11, 2013

The 2010 special teams unit directly costed the Chargers a couple of games and a playoff berth. Losing Kassim Osgood ruined them.

Nothing Green Bay has done since even vaguely compares.

# ? Sep 14, 2014 01:04

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Tanier's weekly picks are up: http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2195684-nfl-week-2-picks-seahawks-secrets-richardson-probes-and-more

quote:

Seahawks at Chargers

Sunday, 4:05 p.m.

Line: Seahawks -5.5

Here are some scouting notes to help understand and cope with the Seahawks defense:

� No one is open. Your wide receivers aren�t open. Your tight ends aren�t open. If someone catches a pass, it�s a one-handed grab along the sideline with a defender breathing through his earhole. The only receivers who are open are the ones waiting for screen passes.

� Throwing a screen pass against the Seahawks defense is like throwing a Chicken McNugget to a school of piranhas.

� There are no �yards after catch� against the Seahawks defense. Physicists use the Bohr Radius (a0) as a handy subatomic unit of distance. A Bohr Radius is the most probable distance between a proton and electron in a hydrogen atom. The Seahawks measure their tackling in a0AC, and Pete Carroll gets snippy if they give up more than five.

� Kam Chancellor is like a strong safety and outside linebacker combined. Earl Thomas is a combination strong safety and free safety, with a little terrible punt returner mixed in. Brandon Mebane can play two tackle techniques at the same time. And Cliff Avril can injure two offensive players on one play without doing anything illegal. Do the math: You are playing 9-against-14.

� Chancellor is one of the NFL�s most underrated players. That is amazing, because he is a two-time Pro Bowler on a championship-winning defense, and everyone knows how awesome he is. He is the first player to be so underrated that he is so overrated that he is underrated. And you thought the Bohr Radius was confusing.

� Richard Sherman has not been mentioned yet, and that just motivates the crazy such-�n�-such.

� If you are hoping for defensive penalties to save you, bad news: The Seahawks were not called for defensive holding at all during the Preseason of Yellow Sadness, and they were not called for holding or illegal contact at all during their Packers jolly-stomping. (There was one obvious pass interference). You are better off hoping for Marshawn Lynch to start speaking in iambic pentameter.

� Thomas is no longer the punt returner, so you should just punt on first down and hope for a muff. It was a bad idea anyway. Hand off a few times. Show a little pride.

Prediction: Seahawks 29, Chargers 16

# ? Sep 14, 2014 01:40

Magicpants: Sep 15, 2011; Certified Poster

Mike Tanier writing for Bleacher Report just feels so wrong. It's like the time Guy Ritchie made that Madonna movie

# ? Sep 14, 2014 01:58

FizFashizzle: Mar 30, 2005

Magicpants posted:

Mike Tanier writing for Bleacher Report just feels so wrong. It's like the time Guy Ritchie made that Madonna movie

That film was much more indicative of his career.

# ? Sep 14, 2014 02:03

JGdmn: Jun 12, 2005; Like I give a fuck.

How many hundreds of yards are the 49ers going to put up on the Bears defense?

# ? Sep 14, 2014 15:55

Bjay9: May 3, 2011; Kid, touch is for video games and gynecologists

JGdmn posted:

How many hundreds of yards are the 49ers going to put up on the Bears defense?

Like I give a gently caress.

# ? Sep 14, 2014 16:27

barnold: Dec 16, 2011; what do u do when yuo're born to play fps? guess there's nothing left to do but play fps. boom headshot

I was watching videos of Tom Brady the other night back in like, 2002 when he was still capable of rolling out of the pocket and making a play out of it. It made me sad. Maybe tearing that ACL spooked him for good. Generally speaking, if Brady and his wonderful line of heavy hulking homies can prevent/avoid the rush, I think that the Patriots have a pretty good shot at busting up the Vikings defense with some mid-range pass action. Then again, Brady has become known as of late for spiking the ball into the ground a few yards short of his receivers, so even with a good 15 seconds in the pocket, it's anyone's guess if a completion can come out of it.

# ? Sep 14, 2014 16:59

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

JGdmn posted:

How many hundreds of yards are the 49ers going to put up on the Bears defense?

400 all purpose. They'll get up by 20 in the first half and then slow way the gently caress down to choke out the clock.

# ? Sep 14, 2014 17:06

JGdmn: Jun 12, 2005; Like I give a fuck.

Bjay9 posted:

Like I give a gently caress.

lol

Touch�.

The best I've heard is Marshall OR Jeffery is going to play. I think Holmes may have to grow a few inches for the Bears to have a shot. And they'll have to score over 50 points, of course.

JGdmn fucked around with this message at 17:38 on Sep 14, 2014

# ? Sep 14, 2014 17:19

GNU Order: Feb 28, 2011; That's a paddlin'

JGdmn posted:

lol

Touch�.

The best I've heard is Marshall OR Jeffery is going to play. I think Holmes may have to grow a few inches for the Bears to have a shot. And they'll have to score over 50 points, of course.

Between the two I think Marshall is more likely to start. I hope they sit both of them though because this is game is a loss even at full strength

# ? Sep 14, 2014 19:13

Big Bob Pataki: Jan 23, 2009; The Bob that Refreshes

Can I...can I link to my picks or is that spam?

I've finally returned dont wanna get probated already

# ? Sep 14, 2014 23:14

R.D. Mangles: Jan 10, 2004

Jay Cutler and Shea McLellin are going to lead The Chicago Bears to victory in American Football.

# ? Sep 14, 2014 23:27

GNU Order: Feb 28, 2011; That's a paddlin'

Big Bob Pataki posted:

Can I...can I link to my picks or is that spam?

I've finally returned dont wanna get probated already

Post em, I'll accept the probation in your stead

# ? Sep 14, 2014 23:54

Big Bob Pataki: Jan 23, 2009; The Bob that Refreshes

Thanks heterosexual sex-haver

site is still pretty barebones but i'd rather get actual content on there instead of focusing on a banner

god bless

# ? Sep 15, 2014 00:03

DupaDupa: May 21, 2009; I'm Samurai Mike
I stop 'em cold.

Marshall and Jeffery are both active, I doubt they are playing at 100% though.

# ? Sep 15, 2014 00:06

Ramadu: Aug 25, 2004; 2015 NFL MVP

Big Bob Pataki posted:

Thanks heterosexual sex-haver

site is still pretty barebones but i'd rather get actual content on there instead of focusing on a banner

god bless

You know Ehud has a site over int he farthouse, have you thought about hooking up with him?

# ? Sep 15, 2014 00:53

Amy Pole Her: Jun 17, 2002

Ramadu posted:

You know Ehud has a site over int he farthouse, have you thought about hooking up with him?

He loving better not. Ehud's my man.

# ? Sep 15, 2014 01:03

Big Bob Pataki: Jan 23, 2009; The Bob that Refreshes

No I was not aware of that

oh gosh

# ? Sep 15, 2014 01:07

a neat cape: Feb 22, 2007; Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

Earthy Ape Unit posted:

Yeah Phillip fuckin' Rivers is going for 350 against the LoB, sure.

Well, not quite

# ? Sep 15, 2014 03:49

Flikken: Oct 23, 2009; 10,363 snaps and not a playoff win to show for it

Chichevache posted:

400 all purpose. They'll get up by 20 in the first half and then slow way the gently caress down to choke.

You were half right.

# ? Sep 15, 2014 04:59

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Flikken posted:

You were half right.

I loving love it.

# ? Sep 15, 2014 05:00

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

Big Bob Pataki posted:

No I was not aware of that

oh gosh

bro you are welcome to write on FART

# ? Sep 15, 2014 12:31

Chilichimp: Oct 24, 2006; TIE Adv xWampa

It wamp, and it stomp; Grimey Drawer

GNU Order posted:

Between the two I think Marshall is more likely to start. I hope they sit both of them though because this is game is a loss even at full strength

Sweet dear baby Jesus, hindsight... Cutler. What the gently caress.

# ? Sep 15, 2014 13:49

Athanatos: Jun 7, 2006; Est. 1967

Colts try and run the ball. Fail. Get down by 30 or so.

Look slightly better in the 3rd. Might cut it to 20 some points.

Go nuts in the 4th. Make the game crazy close.

Win/Loss still undetermined.

# ? Sep 15, 2014 13:58

Big Bob Pataki: Jan 23, 2009; The Bob that Refreshes

It would be an honor to FART

# ? Sep 15, 2014 14:07

Brannock: Feb 9, 2006; by exmarx; Fallen Rib

It's a little late for this now, but Greg Bedard did a big writeup on what's wrong with the Packers and Patriots defenses and I found it pretty interesting. He claims that they have very similar issues on defense.

http://mmqb.si.com/2014/09/11/packers-patriots-defense-problems/

# ? Sep 15, 2014 18:25

Dexo: Aug 15, 2009; A city that was to live by night after the wilderness had passed. A city that was to forge out of steel and blood-red neon its own peculiar wilderness.

Magicpants posted:

Mike Tanier writing for Bleacher Report just feels so wrong. It's like the time Guy Ritchie made that Madonna movie

I'm gonna let you in on a secret. Bleacher Report is essentially an aggregator where they bring on a bunch of local dudes to rights specific stories.

Most of them are bad. But For the most part their National guys are pretty Good, Matt Miller/Matt Bowen, Tanier, and some other are doing real good work on that site.

Like with most things find dudes/chicks you like and follow their work no matter where they post.

# ? Sep 15, 2014 18:52

DupaDupa: May 21, 2009; I'm Samurai Mike
I stop 'em cold.

Bleacher Report got Dan Pompei and he was one of the best Chicago sports writers for a long time.

# ? Sep 15, 2014 18:55

FizFashizzle: Mar 30, 2005

I remember when they offered to keep me on a a features editor and promised "more down the line," then gave me 500 bucks.

Maaaaaaaaaaaan I wish I hadnt blown that off.

# ? Sep 15, 2014 19:03

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# ? Apr 20, 2024 00:02

Big Bob Pataki: Jan 23, 2009; The Bob that Refreshes

i will gladly join FART if my posts can be labelled 2FART2Furious thanks

# ? Sep 16, 2014 01:57

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