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Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
Bragged to everyone at work that I could spin around 100 times but fell down after only 28.

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gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

Ekster
Jul 18, 2013

woke up this morning, walked the dog, then went straight back to bed cause I was tired

after I woke up again I didn't do anything productive for the rest of the day

THE PENETRATOR
Jul 27, 2014

by Lowtax
stole some girls seat in class

THE PENETRATOR
Jul 27, 2014

by Lowtax
punched a freshman in his stupid fuckin face which, while not embarrassing for ME, was for sure, him, since he was w. his gf, whos now mine

1001 Arabian dicks
Sep 16, 2013

EVE ONLINE IS MY ENTIRE PERSONALITY BECAUSE IM A FRIENDLESS SEMILITERATE LOSER WHO WILL PEDANTICALLY DEMAND PROOF FOR BASIC THINGS LIKE GRAVITY OR THE EXISTENCE OF SELF. ASK ME ABOUT CHEATING AT TARKOV BECAUSE, WELL, SEE ABOVE
Farted as my roommate came back. I blamed it on burnt popcorn when asked about it but no one is fooled.

Harime Nui
Apr 15, 2008

The New Insincerity
I woke up still drunk this morning. Well I'm not really embarrassed about that or anything, really.

THE PENETRATOR
Jul 27, 2014

by Lowtax
walked straight off a cliff and died

Dilettante.
Feb 18, 2011
A customer misheard me over the phone and got mad. My colleagues laughed at him over the phone, he heard and he got very mad.

He came into the store, and I could not contain my amusement, and he got even madder! :blush:


I am a terrible employee. :negative:

Chard
Aug 24, 2010




failed to summon the nerve to end my poo poo life

Baronjutter
Dec 31, 2007

"Tiny Trains"

Was browsing the hardware store and realized I got the wrong screws and some old guy asked me if I knew "something". I didn't say no because I thought he was was just asking me something as a person. He then walked me half way across the store (I don't know why I followed) and started asking me about pipe fittings and straps and why he didn't understand the smaller ones were the same price as a bigger ones. I told him they were probably sold by weight like other small pieces of hardware. He started asking me more things and I told him I didn't know and then finally said "Oh... I don't actually work here or anything" and he got embarrassed and said he saw me pouring screws into the bucket so thought I worked there. We were both embarrassed. The staff all wear uniform shirts so I have no idea why he asked me, a dude in office attire.

I hope the OP is an old dude and it was me he asked.

ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!
I farted on a public street. There were other people within 80ft.

I lucked out though, it was a silent fart.

potee
Jul 23, 2007

Or, you know.

Not fine.
I was waiting at a crosswalk and some guy asked me where a nearby street was so I pointed and said "Yeah, it's a block that way," and then the light changed so I walked away.

Once I got across the street I looked back and noticed the dude was blind :doh:

Medieval Medic
Sep 8, 2011
I woke up and still exist.

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Reporting for shovel mission Sir.
I got impatient in a convenience store line.

Glorgnole
Oct 23, 2012

Baronjutter posted:

Was browsing the hardware store and realized I got the wrong screws and some old guy asked me if I knew "something". I didn't say no because I thought he was was just asking me something as a person. He then walked me half way across the store (I don't know why I followed) and started asking me about pipe fittings and straps and why he didn't understand the smaller ones were the same price as a bigger ones. I told him they were probably sold by weight like other small pieces of hardware. He started asking me more things and I told him I didn't know and then finally said "Oh... I don't actually work here or anything" and he got embarrassed and said he saw me pouring screws into the bucket so thought I worked there. We were both embarrassed. The staff all wear uniform shirts so I have no idea why he asked me, a dude in office attire.

I hope the OP is an old dude and it was me he asked.

BrigadierSensible
Feb 16, 2012

I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

Not today, but on Wednesday I got up early, shaved, showered and caught the bus into work only to be told by the guy at the front desk that it was a public holiday and I could go home.

Shithouse Dave
Aug 5, 2007

each post manufactured to the highest specifications


I went to take off from the lights in third instead of first but I feel better about that now thanks to you guys.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005
i checked out this ashy black lady wearing cheap tight shorts and a stained tshirt at the dollar store probably a hooker
i can get laid any time i want i just choose not to
maybe you guys should try not being beta males sometime :smug:

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Pillow Clerk
Oct 18, 2008
I bought Chipotle for dinner instead of making something fresh myself...

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