|
[Originally published September 10, 2013.] - - - Check out my new phone. I just picked it up last week. It’s amazing. It’s a SleekBladeFlameFireSteelTitanium-SilverGoldPlatinumCocoaButterscotchcicle-AvalancheFlashLightning-LaserRobotCirclejerkHandjob 5.2.8 DSX-2 3D XL, with the metallic mustard finish and the fully loaded cup-holders. Your phone’s 4G, right? This one’s got at least 8 or 9 Gs. Suck it. Yeah, anyway, so how’s your job and, uh, everything?… Really?… Oh, he died on top of you, wow—wait, poo poo, check this out. You’ll never believe this. This screen here displays more than half a billion colors at ten times the brightness of Elton John’s birthday party. The case is made of a synthetic blend of carbon nanotubes and sweatshop workers. And it’s 100 percent thinner than the last model. I can’t turn it on its side, or it’ll be gone forever. This is cutting-edge technology. I just downloaded an app that’s like Tamagotchi meets Digi Pets. You transfer your pocket beast instantly to the International Space Station where it fights other pocket beasts in zero-gravity. I just bought my pocket beast a kick-rear end hat for only $8.99, and it lets you keep it for a whole year. Fuckin’ A. There’s another app called iDiarrhea… Hold up. I gotta check in at this CVS. Look at you there with your camera phone. I bet it shoots in 2D, huh? This shoots in 4D. What, yours does too? No, 4D does not just mean video, since the fourth dimension is time and I’m being an idiot. Well, then, mine shoots 4D in 3D. That’s 7D, overall. And 9 Gs. Keep score, hotshot. Check out my bandwidth. I’m torrenting RapidShares and YouPorning WinRARS at 500-million petabits per microsecond, all while Netflixing and sexting in the background. What? Yeah, it’s pretty expensive. I had to use the rest of my dad’s life insurance payout to afford the data plan. My mom won’t stop crying. She’s freakin weird. It’s getting late. Let’s get something to eat—oh, wait. Let me look up a good place on this sexy thing here. I’ll just type in “WAFFLE HOUSE.” W-A-F-… mumble-mumble. Okay, hold a sec. What? Come on. No, I just typed—gently caress. Go, work already. Jeez. You gotta be… drat it. I hate this stupid thing.
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2014 17:26
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 16, 2024 14:56 |
|
|
the new iphone six ploos s hd with LTE2
|
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2014 17:35
|
|
|
still stickin with my 5s until the next upgrade. then i'll have a iphone 7!
|
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2014 18:42
|
|
|
unless they buy winamp and decide that 11 comes after 5 and 6
|
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2014 19:38
|
|
|
LP0 ON FIRE posted:still stickin with my 5s until the next upgrade. then i'll have a iphone 7! i live your new av btw laura is my favourite
|
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2014 19:40
|
|
|
Ruby got Railed posted:unless they buy winamp and decide that 11 comes after 5 and 6 lol
|
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2014 19:41
|
|
|
this iphone really whips the 11amas rear end
|
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2014 19:41
|
|
|
Blackula69 posted:i live your new av btw laura is my favourite thanks Blackula69! it's crazy, a lot of people have been complimenting it, and someone went out of their way to PM me. didn't really expect that. i mean, it's just a crudely drawn cartoon woman, e: tho i guess it's the character behind the crude drawing that counts
|
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2014 19:43
|
|
|
also nobody ever talks about dr katz because it's so genuinely original it doesn't have mass appeal even among nerds https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tM_lrK4upvw so it's cool to see that other people like it too
|
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2014 19:51
|
|
|
Blackula69 posted:i live your new av btw laura is my favourite there's a guy with all(?) 80 episodes in a playlist on youtube, and i'm gradually working my way through them all. sometimes i almost wish it could be like beavis and butthead compilations, where they couldn't include music videos because of licensing -- i would totally watch dr katz episodes with the comedians removed
|
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2014 20:47
|
|
|
prefect posted:there's a guy with all(?) 80 episodes in a playlist on youtube, and i'm gradually working my way through them all. sometimes i almost wish it could be like beavis and butthead compilations, where they couldn't include music videos because of licensing -- i would totally watch dr katz episodes with the comedians removed the music videos were the best part of beavis and butthead
|
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2014 21:19
|
|
|
A Wheezy Steampunk posted:the music videos were the best part of beavis and butthead i used to think that, too. then i realized that i enjoyed the adventures of the characters more than i enjoyed the goofing on videos 
|
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2014 23:16
|
|
|
to me they are just different. one thing that is very apparent about the music videos, is that they actually mention intelligent observations, which is out of character from the rest of the show but they make it not seem like it very well
|
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2014 23:18
|
|
|
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzCnrpfUaAk
|
|
#
?
Sep 19, 2014 23:39
|
|
|
prefect posted:there's a guy with all(?) 80 episodes in a playlist on youtube, and i'm gradually working my way through them all. sometimes i almost wish it could be like beavis and butthead compilations, where they couldn't include music videos because of licensing -- i would totally watch dr katz episodes with the comedians removed have you watched home movies
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2014 00:50
|
|
|
prefect posted:there's a guy with all(?) 80 episodes in a playlist on youtube, and i'm gradually working my way through them all. sometimes i almost wish it could be like beavis and butthead compilations, where they couldn't include music videos because of licensing -- i would totally watch dr katz episodes with the comedians removed same. most of them aren't funny and the recurring characters are the best i just watched an episode with a guest that made me laugh out loud when dr katz said that he wished there was some way he could harness his anger https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yaWMn-WsnP4&t=825s and actually overall there's lots of other funny parts
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2014 02:24
|
|
|
Blackula69 posted:also nobody ever talks about dr katz because it's so genuinely original it doesn't have mass appeal even among nerds You weren't even born when that show was on, you fuckin' goober.
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2014 02:32
|
|
|
are you guys cousins or something?
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2014 02:33
|
|
|
no he just loves me
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2014 04:47
|
|
|
but like too much, you know?
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2014 04:47
|
|
|
Blackula69 posted:no he just loves me You're okay.
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2014 04:53
|
|
|
tractor fanatic posted:have you watched home movies i've seen most of the episodes -- some of them aren't on netflix or youtube. it's pretty good
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2014 12:27
|
|
|
Citizen Tayne posted:You're okay. aw how cute, it's like you're in third grade and pass notes like do you like me? ☐ yes ☐ no ☐ maybe
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2014 13:48
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 16, 2024 14:56 |
|
|
A Wheezy Steampunk posted:aw how cute, it's like you're in third grade and pass notes like that IS cute!!
|
|
#
?
Sep 20, 2014 14:32
|
|
