ISIS recruitment thread

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > ISIS recruitment thread

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Fruity Gordo: Aug 5, 2013; Neurotic, Impotent Rage!

What is the recruitment policy for Jewish lesbians, depending on workplace conditions and benefits I might be interested

# ? Sep 24, 2014 12:00

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 06:36

hemale in pain: Jun 5, 2010

I'm gay, would ISIS welcome me? I'm skilled in various sword fighting styles.

# ? Sep 24, 2014 12:24

BONE DOG: Jun 7, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

you two are textbook infidel you'll have to wait for an opening sorry

# ? Sep 24, 2014 12:32

Jesus Christ: Jun 1, 2000; mods if you can make this my avatar I will gladly pay 10bux to the coffers

Bloodplay it again posted:

It's a midwest thing, for sure. I live in not-Chicago, IL, and I hear "worsh" all the time. That, or "punkin" instead of "pumpkin."

I'll bet ISIS calls them punkins, too.

In 9th grade my english teacher said "worshington" once and for some reason I could not stop laughing. Looking back I feel kinda bad 'cause she was actually a pretty cool teacher yet at the same time I doubt she gave two shits about some twatty-rear end 13 year old laughing at her mispronunciation of Washington so eh.

# ? Sep 24, 2014 12:36

iroguebot: Feb 15, 2001; Nerf this!

I'm a overnight stocker for Walmart, I could totally organize all the cans in the ISIS cupboards and face them to look pleasing to the eye.

c:

# ? Sep 24, 2014 13:02

roboshit: Apr 4, 2009

can i get in if i make a new nasheed in ableton using my old voice? isis seems to use the same one in every vid

# ? Sep 24, 2014 13:10

Mc Do Well: Aug 2, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

Durgat posted:

http://youtubedoubler.com/dunI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nB_tGab-t0g

# ? Sep 24, 2014 17:03

pwnyXpress: Mar 28, 2007

I'm Mormon, can I qualify for an officer position?

# ? Sep 24, 2014 18:14

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

Wow lowtax really loosened up the rules around here

# ? Sep 24, 2014 18:30

newreply.php: Dec 24, 2009; Pillbug

if u posted itt u failed the first test

# ? Sep 24, 2014 18:31

Hingehead: Nov 24, 2013

Darth123123 posted:

Wow lowtax really loosened up the rules around here

What do you expect from a libertard terrorist loving moon gay god worshiper. We shouldnget smorky to kill him again and take over SA for good, saving us and our freedom.

# ? Sep 24, 2014 18:39

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

Hingehead posted:

What do you expect from a libertard terrorist loving moon gay god worshiper. We shouldnget smorky to kill him again and take over SA for good, saving us and our freedom.

Lowtax is actually using SA as a honeypot for the FBI because he's a traitor to the cause. LOWTAX HOW CAN YOU FORSAKE YOUR ISIS BRETHREN???

Lowtechs posted:

Yeah but this is a goon ISIS recruitment thread so...

Touche

# ? Sep 24, 2014 18:48

Tenzarin: Jul 24, 2007; .; Taco Defender

Ill join, I currently work inside a white house with full access.

# ? Sep 24, 2014 19:02

Stoic Commie: Aug 29, 2005; by XyloJW

GrrrlSweatshirt posted:

im really into the idea of being shot with a missile but i dont want to do anything illegal or support terrorism. is there any other way i can get brutally annihilated by a missile

pm me

# ? Sep 24, 2014 22:27

Pimpcasso: Mar 13, 2002; VOLS BITCH

hello nsa and fbi thread watchers

# ? Sep 24, 2014 22:46

Vastarien: Dec 20, 2012; Where I live is nightmare, thus a certain nonchalance.; Buglord

I'm one of those really obnoxious Atheists (I prefer the term Antitheist, thank you) who is always going on about religion being a cancer and a mental illness and all that stuff. But, I'm also really into black clothes and I don't care much for British journalists (the Daily Mail totally sucks, right?). Can I join up? If not, you can probably expect a discrimination suit in your future, pal.

# ? Sep 24, 2014 23:14

1982 Subaru Brat: Feb 2, 2007; by Athanatos

I will only join an ISIS cell if the safehouse has a ballpit and legos in the break room.

# ? Sep 24, 2014 23:24

Frijolero: Jan 24, 2009; by Nyc_Tattoo

Real name: Barack HUSSEIN Obama

Skills: Lying, Being a lil bitch

# ? Sep 25, 2014 00:02

euphronius: Feb 18, 2009

My application was accepted :toot:

See you loosers in raqqah!

# ? Sep 25, 2014 00:11

Hingehead: Nov 24, 2013

euphronius posted:

My application was accepted

See you loosers in raqqah!

How are you going to see those who were not accepted, in loving Syria? Dumbass.

# ? Sep 25, 2014 00:19

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

Cthulu Carl posted:

What happened to the F-35 thread?

Because LOL when Lowtax gets raided because of this thread and some field agent has slaps down a print-out of that thread in the middle of a multi-hour interrogation and starts asking about the whereabouts of 'Omar'.

The irony is that Uncle Omar is a marine four star general who works in the Pentagon. I'd love to see the FBI chasing Uncle Omar down the runway before he makes his escape in an F-35.

# ? Sep 25, 2014 00:24