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Was a privileged white guy with a good engineering job and then I bumped into a wizard, now unemployed, green. Have tits.
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Sep 27, 2014 11:32
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 01:32 |
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Wisely did Ibn Schacabao say, that happy is the tomb where no wizard hath lain, and happy the town at night whose wizards are all ashes.
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Sep 27, 2014 11:39
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I am the sex wizard who does many screwings
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Sep 27, 2014 16:10
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Sep 27, 2014 19:33
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Agrinja posted:Was a privileged white guy with a good engineering job and then I bumped into a wizard, now unemployed, green. Have tits. That sucks dood Feel better broh
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Sep 27, 2014 20:25
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ok as a wizard, I'm SICK of you wandless wonders asking me "Why is there a Wizard History Month but no Regular HUMAN History Month?" gently caress you, you don't know what it's like, I don't care how many wizards you've posed with in photographs to try and come off as non-wizardist.
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Sep 27, 2014 21:04
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no
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Sep 27, 2014 21:06
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WWWYZZERDD's own though
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Sep 27, 2014 21:10
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 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0XtdjDzQy4 SPACE HOMOS fucked around with this message at 21:17 on Sep 27, 2014 |
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Sep 27, 2014 21:14
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Crossfit wizard.
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Sep 27, 2014 21:15
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I put on my robe and wizard hat
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Sep 27, 2014 21:29
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psyopmonkey posted:Crossfit wizard. Mods!!!!!
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Sep 27, 2014 21:49
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Ser Gilead was in a rare form tonight. Earlier in the day, he had plundered the Lair of the Sodomite, exacting a holy revenge on its denizens and laying claim to its righteous treasure. But the precious metals and jewels--as much as he could stand to carry--paled in comparison to the golden-haired succubus he had snatched. After all, Ser Gilead knew quite well that flesh was the most precious treasure. "I bet you'd like to watch," he snapped at his squire--a young boy named Mex, who had the weary moon-face of a tiny old man--as the boy removed his armor. "Wouldn't you, you little shite-sniffer?" Ser Gilead stared at Mex's eerily aged face, but Mex simply returned the silent stare. The boy had an intense, scowling wizard's face, and he hated to admit that it unnerved him. Before Mex could finish, Ser Gilead dismissed him with a curt, "fine, gently caress this shite," and marched off to his quarters...and to his golden-haired succubus. "They say that Merlin had a rare condition known as Hydra-phallus, which was later misunderstood to be 'water penis'," the White Wizard said as he poured rumwine, which was wine with rum added. When he was finished, he picked up both bejeweled goblets and, turning and smirking at his guest, said, "but I have it on good authority that it really referred to the mythical Hydra. For you see, Merlin had a five-headed penis. Have you ever seen a hydra-penis?" His guest said nothing as he handed her a goblet. "Would you like to see some magic, my dear?" She nodded very slightly. The White Wizard shrugged his gown off of his body, revealing an immaculately chiseled torso; he paused long enough to let her drink it all in, and then he suddenly threw back his hands. "MANABRA CADABRA! I CHOOSE YOU, MONKEY-BALROG! GO FORTH AND USE 'HEAVY DONG'!" Ser Gilead threw open the door just in time to see the foul creature materialize inside a current of glowing magicks; it had a turgid member that glowed orange and red, like a hot coal. The White Wizard let loose a demented laugh: Heh heh HEH HEH HEEEEEEHHHH!
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Sep 27, 2014 21:52
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psyopmonkey posted:Crossfit wizard. Most wizards neglect core strength in their pursuits of the arcane arts.
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Sep 27, 2014 21:55
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Monkey Balrog used Heavy Dong. Its super effective.
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Sep 27, 2014 21:57
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psyopmonkey posted:Crossfit wizard. Carrying heavy rear end tomes everywhere and binding demons in a contest of strength is going to be the new fitness fad. Someone venture fund me.
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Sep 27, 2014 22:06
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Zyklon B Zombie posted:Carrying heavy rear end tomes everywhere and binding demons in a contest of strength is going to be the new fitness fad. Someone venture fund me. Kickstart that.
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Sep 27, 2014 22:07
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I don't think you guys realize how awful it is. I work for the insurance subsidiary of Gringotts, and I was sent to Hogwarts to review the liability policies for the school. I couldn't even find the Headmaster's office. The stairs inside have no railing. And they're constantly moving. Do you know how many kids I saw teetering off the ledge of some staircase six stories up? I immediately began to write down all the safety violations, the poorly-lit corridors that lead to bathrooms full of trolls or the ghosts of a teenage girls who sexually harass their visitors. I tried using a fire exit only to discover a room with a mirror that revealed my inner most desires. Another exit was blocked by a demonic dog with three heads.
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Sep 27, 2014 22:07
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Ha, you think wizards are bad? Have you ever dealt with shamans? I got an internship at a medical organization that dealt with those bastards to gain access to healing totems, and it was not worth it. For starters, they smell awful. They're always cooking poo poo like newt eyes and bat guano and pangolin snouts, and they loving reek as a result. And they never speak English to you without you having to ask them; they'll always start babbling in the ancient spirit tongue of N'naboa like you understand it. This is America, dudes, speak English. Furthermore, they'll never give you actual money for anything. I tried to get one to pay me for helping him move his totem to Father Eagle, and he kept handing me spiders and frog legs. Bitch, can I loving pay for my lunch with spiders and frog legs? Can I put about a dozen dead arachnids into my bank account? Yeah, I thought so. And if you try to tell them otherwise, they'll start threatening to put curses on you. I had to tell one that he couldn't use the bathroom sinks to brew a vision elixir, and he told me that if I didn't let him do it, he'd tell the spirits to take my buttocks and place them on the front of my body. What civilized person does that? Thank God that they're too poor to come to America, on account of them leaving their physical possessions behind in order to strengthen their connection to the astral planes. What a load of poo poo.
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Sep 27, 2014 22:18
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its okay to make fun of wizards because theyre mostly white but making fun of shamans and witch doctors is pretty much blatant racism
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Sep 27, 2014 22:19
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Muscle wizards are the best because they don't even need magic to kick your rear end.
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Sep 27, 2014 22:37
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I long for the sweet embrace of wizard death
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Sep 27, 2014 22:51
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Jimson posted:I long for the sweet embrace of wizard death I've got some good news 
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Sep 27, 2014 22:53
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The Mad Archivist posted:I've got some good news 
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Sep 27, 2014 23:18
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Lemonpieman posted:AH HA HA YES, THOSE WIZARDS ARE AW FUL!! HA HA! SAY, YOU KNOW WHAT THOSE WIZARDS REALLY HATE?? THEY HATE IT WHEN YOU GAZE UPON THE FULL MOON WHILE WEARING THE CLOTHES YOUR FATHER DIED IN, CLOSING YOUR EYES, OPENING THE GOLDEN DOOR OF TÍR NA NÓG THAT APPEARS INSIDE OF YOUR MIND, AND THEN READING ALOUD THE INCANTATION ON THE BLACK SLAB BEYOND THE DOOR! THEY WOULD BE VERY CROSS!! HA HA!!! TRY IT OUT KIDS! Is that you Star-Eyed Ibrahim? I'm not gonna fall you this twice you son of a b*tch
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Sep 29, 2014 03:25
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 01:32 |
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Lemonpieman posted:AH HA HA YES, THOSE WIZARDS ARE AW FUL!! HA HA! SAY, YOU KNOW WHAT THOSE WIZARDS REALLY HATE?? THEY HATE IT WHEN YOU GAZE UPON THE FULL MOON WHILE WEARING THE CLOTHES YOUR FATHER DIED IN, CLOSING YOUR EYES, OPENING THE GOLDEN DOOR OF TÍR NA NÓG THAT APPEARS INSIDE OF YOUR MIND, AND THEN READING ALOUD THE INCANTATION ON THE BLACK SLAB BEYOND THE DOOR! THEY WOULD BE VERY CROSS!! HA HA!!! TRY IT OUT KIDS! Real funny, rear end in a top hat. I did this and all that the gargantuan obsidian obelisk had writ upon it was "hey loser!"
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Sep 29, 2014 07:47
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