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Black Baby Goku
Apr 2, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo
Ok long story short goons with spoons, I'm looking for some cum-centric recipes for my girlfriend and I to take part in. I'm usually a guy with some large loads and she is bored with drinking it out of a shot glass. Any have any ideas for some "semeninal" recipes? Thanks in advance!

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Marta Velasquez
Mar 9, 2013

Good thing I was feeling suicidal this morning...
Fallen Rib
How large a load? Can you glaze a ham?

Bob_McBob
Mar 24, 2007
http://www.amazon.com/Natural-Harvest-collection-semen-based-recipes/dp/1481227041

Black Baby Goku
Apr 2, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo

contrapants posted:

How large a load? Can you glaze a ham?

half a ham maybe

Black Baby Goku
Apr 2, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo

this is just desserts, I'm looking to get my load into a main course, if anyone is willing to help

Marta Velasquez
Mar 9, 2013

Good thing I was feeling suicidal this morning...
Fallen Rib
Make beef stroganov. Sub part of the sour cream with your self-made crème fraîche.

Black Baby Goku
Apr 2, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo
im gonna need exact measurements here

Marta Velasquez
Mar 9, 2013

Good thing I was feeling suicidal this morning...
Fallen Rib

Food Network posted:

Ingredients

1 pound filet mignon or mignon tips (cut into 2 inch long and 1/4 inch wide)
3 tablespoons butter
1 small onion, finely chopped
1 pound mushrooms, domestic or wild, caps only thinly sliced
1/2 cup beef broth
1 tablespoons Dijon mustard
1/4 cup heavy cream
1/2 cup sour cream
2 teaspoons flour
2 tablespoons minced fresh dill
2 tablespoons minced parsley
Salt and freshly grounded black pepper
8 ounces medium egg noodles, cooked

Directions

Heat large non-stick skillet over high heat and sear meat on all sides, for about a minute. Work in small batches so meat does not give off liquid. Remove to a plate. In a clean wide skillet, heat butter. Sweat onions and add mushrooms and saute over until deep golden, about 20 minutes. While this is cooking, blend broth, mustard, heavy cream and sour cream together. Lower heat, add flour and cook stirring for a minute. Whisk in liquids, and any meat juices and simmer, without boiling until sauce thickens, about 5 minutes. Return meat to sauce and heat, without boiling until meat is warmed through. Season to taste with salt and pepper; stir in dill and parsley and spoon over noodles.

Remove one teaspoon of sour cream and two teaspoons of heavy cream for every tablespoon of WORST FORUMS GOO you add.

Illinois Smith
Nov 15, 2003

Ninety-one? There are ninety other "Tiger Drivers"? Do any involve actual tigers, or driving?
put a month's worth of cum into a pot and boil it, add cilantro to taste

Black Baby Goku
Apr 2, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo

contrapants posted:

Remove one teaspoon of sour cream and two teaspoons of heavy cream for every tablespoon of WORST FORUMS GOO you add.

Excellent, will report back with photos and how it tasted soon!

Stottie Kyek
Apr 26, 2008

fuckin egg in a bun

contrapants posted:

Make beef stroganov. Sub part of the sour cream with your self-made crème fraîche.

beef stroking-off

Eye of Widesauron
Mar 29, 2014

WORST FORUMS GUY posted:

Excellent, will report back with photos and how it tasted soon!

I just have to resist swallowing :(

rigeek
Jun 12, 2006
I love these forums so much.

Black Baby Goku
Apr 2, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo
made the beef stroganov and we could really taste the gism in it! excellent dish and paired perfectly with a sutter home blush wine. thank you GWS! will post photos soon!

physeter
Jan 24, 2006

high five, more dead than alive
breakfast: carve a dick-sized hole into a cantaloupe then gently caress it, carve and serve normally and enjoy cum-glazed melon cubes

Black Baby Goku
Apr 2, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo

physeter posted:

breakfast: carve a dick-sized hole into a cantaloupe then gently caress it, carve and serve normally and enjoy cum-glazed melon cubes

while this sounds great, the wife and I prefer dinner

Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


How is this thread on the second page

Steve Yun
Aug 7, 2003
I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.
Soiled Meat

Submarine Sandpaper
May 27, 2007


Honestly everyone's manjuice tastes a bit different. Mine is spicy due to a mass consumption of hot sauce/peppers so it's best to substitute for pepper in a paste.

You'll need to get back to us regarding what it tastes like, maybe it'll point us to a Mtn Dew Cheetos dip.

You can also design your jizzjuice to taste like asparagus, which can then be used in a hollandaise to add asparagus flavor to whatever that poached egg and ham dish is!

Kugyou no Tenshi
Nov 8, 2005

We can't keep the crowd waiting, can we?

Mr. Wookums posted:

whatever that poached egg and ham dish is!

Eggs Beeninadick?

Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


Kugyou no Tenshi posted:

Eggs Beeninadick?

This is a good post and we should have more of these.

Steve Yun
Aug 7, 2003
I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.
Soiled Meat

Grand Fromage posted:

This is a good post and we should have more of these.

If you think that was a good post, we have a vas deferens of opinion.

Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


Steve Yun posted:

If you think that was a good post, we have a vas deferens of opinion.

Cum on, there's nuttin wrong with that post.

Stottie Kyek
Apr 26, 2008

fuckin egg in a bun
Sour cream topping on a jack-it potato

Kugyou no Tenshi
Nov 8, 2005

We can't keep the crowd waiting, can we?

Steve Yun posted:

If you think that was a good post, we have a vas deferens of opinion.

Sorry it didn't stand up to your rigid standards. I was just trying to get a quick one out, and I'm sorry it got in your eyes.

The Midniter
Jul 9, 2001

Kugyou no Tenshi posted:

Sorry it didn't stand up to your rigid standards. I was just trying to get a quick one out, and I'm sorry it got in your eyes.

Don't be sorry that he's being such a baby, batter jokes have been made than that.

Futaba Anzu
May 6, 2011

GROSS BOY

The lack of photos has led me to believe this has all been an elaborate hoax on the part of WORST FORUMS GUY. I am moderately disappointed with this revelation.

geetee
Feb 2, 2004

>;[
Here is something I caught out of the corner of my eye the other night on the Cooking Channel:


Perfect camera flash.

Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


I'd spunk on that.

Spanish Manlove
Aug 31, 2008

HAILGAYSATAN
For breakfast I usually make a variant of this recipe, depending what I have on hand and how much is on my hands.

Place in a blender:
  • 1 banana, peeled then chopped up
  • about 15 small strawberries, cut off the part near the leaves then cut in half
  • 1tsp of honey
  • 1tbsp of flax seed
  • 1tbsp of chia seeds
  • a handful of ice cubes
  • 1/2cup of milk (preferably unsweetened almond)
  • 1 full load of your finest spunk

Blend on high, then pour into a glass and enjoy.

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Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


How do you do the spunk grading to choose your finest?

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