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Never been OP. I guess the best thing that could happen is if I met a tot cool 10 of 10 stripper paying her way to college and she became my girlfriend.
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Oct 21, 2014 02:05
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One time I was drunk as poo poo and tried to stick my finger in a strippers butthole while she was giving me a handjob. She wasn't terribly happy with me. I think I bought her a shot of tequila as an apology. Another time a different stripper was giving me a handjob and kept asking me every ten seconds if I was ready to cum, then finally said "We're both going to jail if we get caught" which kind of killed the mood. A female friend of mine jumped on stage one night and tried to dance. A stripper ran up and started throwing money at her. The manager started yelling at the stripper for encouraging my friend, and the stripper ended up quitting on the spot. etc.
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Oct 21, 2014 02:31
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Lars Blitzer posted:Except in Alberta. Thanks to Alberta Liquor and Gaming Commission's laws there must be a barrier or gap between the dancer and the audience, and there must be no direct or indirect contact. So, it does indeed turn into an awesome midway game. You play for promo, like posters, fridge magnets, stickers, lighters, pens, shot glasses, beer coozies, t shirts, g-strings, you name it. Some rules though:
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Oct 21, 2014 02:31
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BOAT SHOWBOAT posted:the bartenders at those strip clubs are ofen a lot hotter than the actual strippers they own since they have seen everything
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Oct 21, 2014 02:35
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I was in a mexican strip joint and the stripper that was assigned to my friend on entry (I think it doubled as a bawdyhouse) got up to take her turn stripping on stage with the pole. She shimmied up to the top and did a big swingy maneuver which broke off the top of the pole from the lovely mexican construction ceiling, and the pole (which she was at the top of) toppled into the tables/chairs surrounding the stage, aided by her momentum. Some random mexicans ran out and dragged her into the back. Few minutes later they dragged her limp form (like each one carrying a limb) back through the main part of the bar to the front door and tossed her in an ambulance. My friend was immediately given another stripper friend to hang out with.
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Oct 21, 2014 02:41
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The Fattest PI posted:I was in a mexican strip joint and the stripper that was assigned to my friend on entry (I think it doubled as a bawdyhouse) got up to take her turn stripping on stage with the pole. She shimmied up to the top and did a big swingy maneuver which broke off the top of the pole from the lovely mexican construction ceiling, and the pole (which she was at the top of) toppled into the tables/chairs surrounding the stage, aided by her momentum. Now thats a quality establishment
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Oct 21, 2014 02:43
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Sex at strip clubs is way chepaer than I thought. Do these girls know they can make more money if they don't let you put it in and keep tagging you along?
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Oct 21, 2014 02:48
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The Fattest PI posted:I was in a mexican strip joint and the stripper that was assigned to my friend on entry (I think it doubled as a bawdyhouse) got up to take her turn stripping on stage with the pole. She shimmied up to the top and did a big swingy maneuver which broke off the top of the pole from the lovely mexican construction ceiling, and the pole (which she was at the top of) toppled into the tables/chairs surrounding the stage, aided by her momentum. This is the best customer service story I have heard lately.
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Oct 21, 2014 02:50
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Helical Nightmares posted:This is the best customer service story I have heard lately. I used to go to this strip club in Mexico that was a total shithole. The building it was in looked like it was abandoned. The only decoration was black lights, random blankets that acted as room dividers, and the cheapest plastic chairs surrounding a literal pit that functioned as the stage. The amount of pampering was incredible. Anytime I pulled out a cigarette, before I could get it to my mouth a 300 pound Mexican bouncer would come out of the shadows like a loving ninja to light it up for me. You motioned to the bouncer which girl you wanted and he'd go and bring her to you. It was incredible, and all from the comfort of a 3 dollar lawn chair.
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Oct 21, 2014 03:10
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one time my buddy said he'd take me to 'a great bar down the road' and it was a single dancer at a time titty bar with like an 8 foot wide stage made from plywood and in between sets the girls walk past you to order their own drinks and one of them tried to convince us we were missing out but she wasnt good looking so i said 'no im good thanks' and ill never forget the face she made
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Oct 21, 2014 03:32
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We were on spring break in Tampa and ended up at this club called Mons Venus. One of the waitresses came by and asked if anyone needed a drink, we all said no cause we had an ice chest of beer stashed in the truck outside. The waitress looked kinda downsy but with huge fake tits, she pulls her top down to expose the monstrosities and says "how about now?" Aghast, we all said "uh, still no  " Later a buddy and I started up a conversation with these two strippers (it was a very slow night) and ended up ditching our friends the next day to take the girls to Busch Gardens  I have a picture somewhere of me and my friend with these two strippers going down a roller coaster.
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Oct 21, 2014 03:38
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beanieson posted:We were on spring break in Tampa and ended up at this club called Mons Venus. One of the waitresses came by and asked if anyone needed a drink, we all said no cause we had an ice chest of beer stashed in the truck outside. The waitress looked kinda downsy but with huge fake tits, she pulls her top down to expose the monstrosities and says "how about now?" Aghast, we all said "uh, still no I think it's the real reason why the GOP convention was held in Tampa
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Oct 21, 2014 03:39
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dancers glow in the dark clit ring fell out on the pole and i was blessed enough to be a a part of the scramble to grab it
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Oct 21, 2014 03:42
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Stoic Commie posted:dancers glow in the dark clit ring fell out on the pole and i was blessed enough to be a a part of the scramble to grab it Close the thread.
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Oct 21, 2014 04:06
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mookface posted:Holy poo poo how have I not been to the rippers in AB I spend most of my time here The rundown on the clubs I know: Edmonton: Diamonds is pretty much the go-to place for Top 40/Hip hop music. The club is long and narrow, along with the stage, which sits higher above table height than the others. Not bad overall, but it attracts the (Oh yeah, did I forget to mention the drinking age is 18 in Alberta? You're welcome.) 18-mid 20s. Eden is nice, but the seating isn't ideal. Same sort of concept/crowd/audience as Diamonds. Not surprising since they've been owned by the same group. Same thing with... Showgirls, but Showgirls has a better layout and stage. The staff are usually friendlier too. Basically all 3 are interchangeable, except for location. Saint Petes is the odd man out in Edmonton, since it's independently owned, but it's also one of two clubs in the area that's actually open during the day (11AM onwards) Mon-Sat. It's getting a bit threadbare, but it's still in good shape and they've been making efforts to improve the VIP/private dance venue, so that's nice. I'll get to the part about how private dances work in ALGC-land a little later. Peelerz isn't in Edmonton, technically, but as it's in the municipality of Nisku and between Edmonton and the Edmonton International Airport on the outskirts it counts. It's a rigger, welder, pipefitter, country bar. It's open from 11AM onwards too, and a lot of their business is from the local trades people that work nearby for the oil patch. Camp signs from various drilling companies all over the walls, dark interior, slightly fuzzy reception on the TVs, it's basically the Platonic ideal of "Rural Strip Club." Here it is: http://www.rigpigclub.com/fubar2/ Honourable Mention Chez Pierre It's downtown, and it's fading fast. It's been on downward trend for some time, and it looks the part too. The Pierre it was named after passed away some time ago, and his son is running things while going for his MBA at the U of Alberta. It's a non-alcoholic venue as well. Why? Well... That's nice, but what about the rest of Alberta? Plenty of places around for dancers. Hell, little podunk places like Hinton and Brooks manage to get a couple dancers in for a few days a week, but I can't vouch for their quality of venues. I've only been to Red Deer's clubs, and even then only once, so YMMV. Private Dances and you in Alberta Okay, so there's to be no physical contact between the audience and the dancer while she's performing, right? That's because it's a venue that's licensed for alcohol. However, walk over to a "Separate venue" behind the closed door and that goes right out the window. rule of thumb is $30 per song, or various VIP packages that run $120 on up, but you generally get your money's worth of time so that $120 translates to 4 songs, naturally. Chez Pierre has been a dry venue for decades, but they pull in a crowd still because private dances are all they do. The only club that doesn't do dances is Peelerz, but that's okay from the dancers' perspective because it pays well enough without it and being booked there is seen as a light week since you're on for only three of those days anyway. The rest of the clubs have a quota of dances to fulfill for a bonus and plenty of freelancers to compete against. Some Other Info
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Oct 21, 2014 04:28
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a friend got a lapdance to "Come to Butthead"
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Oct 21, 2014 04:31
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Went to Vegas and found a stripper that looked just like Megan Fox, so I did what any normal person would do, I spent all my money on her.
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Oct 21, 2014 04:44
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Lars Blitzer posted:The rundown on the clubs I know: I think I know you irl
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Oct 21, 2014 04:49
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The Fattest PI posted:I think I know you irl Maybe, but there are plenty of people who go to these places and who are on here, so the overlap isn't implausible. Know any dancers as friends?
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Oct 21, 2014 05:06
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Sazabi_Master posted:Went to Vegas and found a stripper that looked just like Megan Fox, so I did what any normal person would do, I spent all my money on her. Did you imagine that you were Michael Bay?
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Oct 21, 2014 05:07
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Sunshine Mix posted:I bought my South Korean friend a private dance from the club's only East Asian stripper as a lark. This was in North Dakota, so frankly I was tickled pink to see the two in one building (North Dakota is very, very, very white). My friend disappeared into the private section of the club for far longer than reasonable for a standard dance. He was later lead back to our table in a daze, with the dancer smiling wickedly. She kissed him hard on the lips as she re-seated him. My friend was tight-lipped and refused to divulge anything, doing his best to deflect questions. There were a whole bunch of other posts I wanted to respond to in this thread, but I have to shout out to North Dakota. I was in Minot back in...09? Yeah, that sounds right. Anyway, I had been out of the Air Force for a couple of years, and wasn't there to do anything related to the Air Force, but I ended up spending pretty much the entire couple of months I was there partying with all of the Air Force guys there on TDY staying in the same hotel. One weekend, this blackish guy said we should check out one of the two strip clubs in town- apparently the third had been shut down some time prior for being a front for prostitution or something. So, we get pretty much totally tanked at the hotel bar before deciding to go up there, and I don't really know what I was expecting, but Minot had a high percentage of very attractive tall young blonde women. Not a single one of them worked in this club. Instead, there seemed to be one kinda chunky goth chick with somewhat saggy f-cups, and two black girls. Black girls? In North loving Dakota? There were also at least three bachelor parties taking place there that night, because that was apparently the only place within 100 miles to have a bachelor party, and these hick-rear end farm boys were totally eating up the black cherry. Jungle fever must be endemic in the sorghum fields! Anyway, one of these ladies managed to convince my drunk rear end to go upstairs for a $90 private dance...90 god drat dollars! It ended up being a 3 song dance or something like that, so I guess it wasn't totally outrageous, but still. Halfway into the whole thing, she jams her naked breast into my face, and asks me if I want to suck on her titty. Yeah, I guess I can do that. Pretty quickly, she starts aggressively kneading my junk, and then breaks away to go downtown. Not long after, my time is up, and my breezy is cut short! She lays out a proposition for a more complete experience, but I laugh her off and declare that "I don't pay for sex" The next day, I run into my TDY buddy, who recounts a similar tale, except his girl got back to the hotel and went all the way before trying to get any money out of him. He said he also laughed her off, said he didn't pay for sex, and sent her on her way. It was a long night, so I don't remember exactly who told me this, but one of those three said the girls were up from Atlanta trying to make good money from their "exotic" pussies, but the joke was on them that night.
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Oct 21, 2014 05:10
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Immediately fell in love with a girl, got a dance and my hoodie got snail trailed. I was so pumped I wore it to school the next day.
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Oct 21, 2014 05:11
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It dawned on me that an attractive lady would never desire me so I could just let go.
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Oct 21, 2014 05:13
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BLARGHLE posted:There were a whole bunch of other posts I wanted to respond to in this thread, but I have to shout out to North Dakota. Just wanted to quote this - bolded my favorite part
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Oct 21, 2014 05:14
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SpicyMeatSandwich posted:Just wanted to quote this - bolded my favorite part Sounds kinda lovely, but they acted like they had never seen a black girl before in their lives, and were totally intrigued by it.
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Oct 21, 2014 05:16
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Lars Blitzer posted:Maybe, but there are plenty of people who go to these places and who are on here, so the overlap isn't implausible. Know any dancers as friends? There's a disturbing amount of people from alberta on here. I've known a few dancers over the years I guess. My pal's 3 roommates were all dancers, up until they all got kicked out for having coke parties all the time in a house that has NO PARTIES YOU FUCKIN IDIOTS written into the lease
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Oct 21, 2014 05:20
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Hrmm, I should look up what laws are on strip clubs in Arkansas. There is a state college in town. Bet I could get a lot of college girls to shake it for a few bucks. Probably decent money in running a strip club.
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Oct 21, 2014 05:40
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Johnny Aztec posted:Hrmm, I should look up what laws are on strip clubs in Arkansas. There is a state college in town. Bet I could get a lot of college girls to shake it for a few bucks. If you can handle drama.
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Oct 21, 2014 05:57
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The Fattest PI posted:There's a disturbing amount of people from alberta on here. I've known a few dancers over the years I guess. My pal's 3 roommates were all dancers, up until they all got kicked out for having coke parties all the time in a house that has NO PARTIES YOU FUCKIN IDIOTS written into the lease We might have a few friends in common. It does seem that the job does carry a fairly high turnover rate, since the temptation to just party all the time regardless of any responsibilities weeds them out. Since we're talking, the best thing to happen to me at a strip club? Well, years ago at Showgirls they had a Halloween party going (topical!), with everyone dressed up. The problem was, it was on a Sunday and the place was almost empty. Even so, I had a good time: drinks, good acts, had a friend with me, and I was in costume: Silent Bob. I, like so many stereotypical guys on the internet could have passed for his twin brother, so I played it up. So much so that in a club where the staff and dancers were dressed in the sluttiest costumes you could think of I won the costume contest. I walked out of there $500 richer. Nice.
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Oct 22, 2014 06:48
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