quote:

I knew that for a case like this I'd need a piece.

I met the seller in the dark, smoky recesses of the food court at the mall. I'd spent a lot of time here, crawling from one binge at the hobby shop to another at the cinnabon. But I was done with that. They moved the yu-gi-oh cards from the left side of the store to the right, so now I buy them from amazon. And the cinnabon? Well, they'd changed the ratio of sugar to cinnamon they use on their bons. It's different now. They ruined it.

My demons haunt me no more.

This trip was a reminder, not a temptation. I'd never go back. Why did they move my cards? Just another case I couldn't close.

I saw the seller sitting at a table, a table designed for four chairs but missing one so there were only three. I took a chair from a nearby table that had five and moved it back to the table the seller was at. I sat down, making sure to adjust my seat so I was exactly in line with the table.

"B-Boner J-Joe 69?" I stammer, staring directly at the bridge of the seller's nose. It's a trick my therapist taught me to make people think I'm making eye contact. Gets em every time.

"That's me, kid." The man replies, casual, leaning back in a slouch, brushing cinnabon crumbs off his naruto shirt. I'd seen the shirt before, and thought about buying it, but now I was glad I hadn't. The site had said it was turqoise, but in person it was clearly sea green.

"We met on craiglist. I am here to buy. The piece."

"I've got it right here kid." he says patting a small, battered briefcase at his side.

"I am here to buy it. Also, I am not a kid, Boner Joe 69. I am a man now. My mother said I am a grown man." I try to do something authoritative with my hands, but I am not sure what I'm doing so I put them back in the pockets of my trenchcoat.

"Sheesh, don't take it so personal. You got the goods?"

"I have the goods. I am assuming the goods you mean are the cards in question. Because they are the only goods I have. I did not bring anything else."

"Well, hand em over, let me see." He curls his hand at me. I watch it for a moment. I think about what he said to me. There are crumbs round his mouth and I want him to wipe them off.

"N-no, I want to see the piece first." I reply, slamming my hand down on the table. A fat woman and her child look over at me and I mouth sorry to them. I have made a scene.

"Fine, jeez." He slides the briefcase over the table. It does not slide well so I pull it towards me from halfway across the table. I snap open the catches, and lay my eyes on the finest piece I've ever seen.

"T-the Colas Rail Freight Co-Co Diesel Class 56?" I ask, wanting to be sure.

"Yup."

"With DCC Sound?"

"Yup."

"H-h-take the cards." I say, slapping an envelope packed with three rows of five cards down on the table.

"Goodbye" I say, closing the briefcase and making to stand up from the table.

"Now hold on there, grown man." The seller says, smirking I think.

"Why?"

"I want to check the cards are all here." He says, greasy hands pawing open the envelope. He will get grease and sugar and cinammon on the cards.

"The cards are all there. Goodbye." I say, standing up again

"I know, but I want to be sure."

"You can count them later" I say, this guy is one tough negotiator.

I sit as he counts. He does it very slowly. It does not take that long to see the cards. He puts them back in the envelope in the wrong order. I alternate between fidgeting with my hands and jamming my hands back into my pockets to stop me fidgeting. I stare at a tile on the floor that is the wrong colour, furtively glancing now and then at the seller, and at the woman at the other table who had looked at me before.

"Well," he says after too long "Everything seems to be in order here chief."

He holds out his hand

"I do not touch hands. I am sorry. Goodbye."

I stand up from the table to leave, tripping a little over the leg of the chair as I go, but I do not think anyone notices. I clutch the briefcase to me and walk at 90% speed out of the place. This den of iniquity will take nothing more from me.

quote:

"Sam," he said. "Leave it well enough alone."

I stared at Dan's pen. I couldn't look him in the eye just then, and not just for the usual reasons.

It was a good pen. Fountain, gold on black dragon design. Me and the old gang got it for him back when he left the guild. Before it all got to be too much. Before it all fell apart and we all went our separate, tragic ways.

"I like your pen," I said. He winced. Definitely got him with that one. I'm not so great at reading emotion, but I'm sure he felt shame. Score one for Sam.

"Sam, I know we were friends. Are. Are friends. That's why I'm telling you to leave it. For your own good."

I kept staring at his pen. The curve of the dragon's spine. The delicate scales. I'm a big fan of dragons. I wondered if Dan really appreciated that pen as much as I would've.

"For gently caress's sake, Sam!" He raised his voice. It made me edgy. Bad memories dating way, way back. "There's just you and me now. We're all that's left. They got Tommy two years ago! He's gone. Won't answer his email. Hasn't been online. I finally called up his mother. Know what she told me? He won't touch the computer anymore. Too many bad memories. Wouldn't even tell him I called because it'd send him in a fit. Is that how you want to end up!?"

I didn't like him yelling at me. I knew I was winning - he'd lost his temper, but it was still real hard to take. The pen was something to focus on while it all washed over me.

"Fine." He jerked the pen away. That startled me, but he didn't notice. He was too busy with his ink-well ritual. "If that's how you want to play it, Sam, fine. There's a comic shop on the corner of Brice and Main. Not one of the big names. Little mom and son place, though she doesn't come downstairs too much. Here's the address."

He slid a paper over. I nearly took it when I saw his hand twitch. Don't worry, Danny. I remember. I leaned forward and blew on the ink. No splatters. No mess.

"It really is a nice pen, Dan," I said.

"I know, Sam." He sunk back into his chair. Tears stained his cheeks. "I know."

Paper in hand, I turned and walked out, leaving poor old Danny alone with his demons. I'd never see him alive again.

quote:

I found him half asleep at the bar in the Ace Tavern, a washed up grifter getting grifted by the bottle. Thousand drunks just like him at a thousand joints in this city but Larry was special. Larry was the last man to see Margaret Johnson before she disappeared.

I smiled widely as I approached.

“HELLO,” I said and hugged him. People like it when you hug them.

“Hey man, what is this? Get the hell off me!” Larry yelled, shoving me away.

“DO YOU LIKE THIS BAR? THE MUSIC IS VERY LOUD.” I put my fingers in my ears and grimaced to show him what I meant.

“What are you talking about? Who are you?”

“I'M SAM IT'S VERY NICE TO MEET YOU, MAY I SIT WITH YOU PLEASE?”

“Nah man, just go away. Just get the gently caress away from me, okay?”

“OKAY, I'M SORRY.”

I left the bar smiling even though I was quivering inside. I knew I could never go back there. Everyone had seen.

I spent the next three days rearranging my files to make pictures of dinosaurs and ignoring the ringing phone. When Mr. Johnson finally came by the office I screamed “I'M NOT FINDING YOUR DAUGHTER ANYMORE I'M TOO BUSY!” and slammed the door in his face.
Even LA's top Austic Investigator knows when to quit.

Cucking Mama posted:

so you write pulp detective stuff but say that the guy likes reddit huh?

no they will not posted:

It's probably the worst thing i've seen in my life.

Beef Turret posted:

Ungoldmine this thread http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3636034

Beef Turret posted:

Ungoldmine this thread http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3636034

Gay Roads posted:

what is this poo poo? go to fyad with all the other wannabe writers

gary oldmans diary posted:

thou are foolish goons who sow shitposts among the effort threads (abe 27:10)

Stoat posted:

neo gbs was better when people just went along with thread topics instead of discussing how funny it isnt going to be

hahaha look at me caring about posting

what happened posted:

go post in fyad OP

gently caress Your Website posted:

卐

Beef Turret posted:

Beef Turret posted:

Parallax Scroll posted: