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So I met this smoking hot girl over the internet. We meet up and she's super cool, smart, and not put off by my fedora. One unique element: she's an Orthodox Jew. Anyone have any experience dating Orthodox Jews? What are the do's and the don'ts? What's the best way to awaken their passions? What are their shaving habits like? I would put this in E/N, but GBS seems to have more articulate opinions on the Semitic people. Serious answers only, this is important.
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Nov 18, 2014 06:58
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| # ? Apr 18, 2024 23:50 |
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From what I understand they're pretty goddamn lazy on Saturday. Won't even flip a light switch.
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Nov 18, 2014 07:01
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Go to the Seinfeld episode covering this for advice.
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Nov 18, 2014 07:02
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i hear it can work out if you're both into ritualistic genital mutilation
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Nov 18, 2014 07:06
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Their age is usually printed on their torso just above where a surgeon would make an appendectomy incision.
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Nov 18, 2014 07:15
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Hope you like kvetching Also orthodox jews generally dont date non orthodox jews so something is going on there, or the op just has his pants on fire.
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Nov 18, 2014 07:31
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Dont' kiss them after eating your night hams. Wait between your morning and afternoon hams.
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Nov 18, 2014 07:41
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I know this girl. She just wants your money (and your dick pardon my French).
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Nov 18, 2014 07:46
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Tautologicus posted:Hope you like kvetching I think that rule is not so hard and fast. She ain't Hasidic. I'm a Jew as well, but I'm reconstructionist as gently caress. Maybe I'm OK?
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Nov 18, 2014 07:50
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when you see your avatar do you feel like cutting and sucking on the babies dick if so you're probably okay
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Nov 18, 2014 07:51
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OY VEY
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Nov 18, 2014 07:51
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If you say you hate Palestinians you're guaranteed to get into her pants. From what I've heard.
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Nov 18, 2014 07:52
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are they even allowed to gently caress non jews?
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Nov 18, 2014 07:52
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get her to teach you yiddish it's a cool language
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Nov 18, 2014 08:19
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Never again.
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Nov 18, 2014 08:40
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hebophilia is illegal opp
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Nov 18, 2014 09:48
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Remember to cut a hole in all your sheets before she arrives.
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Nov 18, 2014 09:52
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Last Buffalo posted:...and not put off by my fedora. Close thread.
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Nov 18, 2014 11:00
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Last Buffalo posted:I think that rule is not so hard and fast. She ain't Hasidic. maybe she Hasidic tho
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Nov 18, 2014 12:58
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I think they have to walk to church on saturdays, and that's normally when I play golf so definitely a no-no if you are a golf player.
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Nov 18, 2014 12:59
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According to a random youtube video I watched days ago she'll have to wear a wig if you get married.
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Nov 18, 2014 13:05
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I dated an orthodox Jew. She was in the SJW crowd, had serious daddy issues, and other trauma related to physical abuse. I was the only person she had dated in the past year that wasn't at least 32 (she was 19). She had tits the size of beach balls and hosed like a champ, though. Was completely shaved too, which surprised me.
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Nov 18, 2014 14:19
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Not a Children posted:I dated an orthodox Jew. She was in the SJW crowd, had serious daddy issues, and other trauma related to physical abuse. I was the only person she had dated in the past year that wasn't at least 32 (she was 19). Daddy issues always bring about the best sex. I wise man once said ''Never stick your dick in crazy. But it is, however, a lot of fun.''
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Nov 18, 2014 14:41
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Hide your foreskin Hide your shekels Because they cuckin e'erbody out hurr
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Nov 18, 2014 15:17
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So are talking about the 'dresses conservatively but fairly normal' type or the full on ankle length denim skirt with bad hair type? Because the former will usually be pretty good about personal maintenance stuff like bathing and shaving and not eating Christian babies. But if it's the latter, well, you're on your own there buddy.
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Nov 18, 2014 15:38
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Make sure to wash your love sheet often. Gets crusty a gross after a while.
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Nov 18, 2014 16:47
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The Mentalizer posted:So are talking about the 'dresses conservatively but fairly normal' type or the full on ankle length denim skirt with bad hair type? Former, and not that conservative in dress. Smokes weed too. I'm trying to figure out if my own Jewyness is an asset or a liability.
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Nov 18, 2014 16:58
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Last Buffalo posted:I'm trying to figure out if my own Jewyness is an asset or a liability. concentrate hard enough and you will quickly come to the final solution
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Nov 18, 2014 17:06
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You're in luck! Orthodox Jews already wear fedoras, so you won't stand out too much.
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Nov 18, 2014 17:12
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Will she shave her beard for you?
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Nov 18, 2014 17:15
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My cousins and aunt and uncle are orthodox and god drat it's annoying as gently caress every time we over there. Really only because they keep orthodox kosher and I can't eat a loving cheeseburger. Who has a BBQ without cheese burgers. God drat.
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Nov 18, 2014 17:29
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Node posted:If you say you hate Palestinians you're guaranteed to get into her pants. From what I've heard. 
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Nov 18, 2014 17:33
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Last Buffalo posted:smoking hot Orthodox Jew. There is no such thing.
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Nov 19, 2014 01:46
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Darkman Fanpage posted:There is no such thing. 
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Nov 19, 2014 01:47
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Nov 19, 2014 01:50
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| # ? Apr 18, 2024 23:50 |
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Their weddings can be very dope. It's weird because they separate the men and women with a giant curtain, but they make up for it getting poo poo faced and dancing like a bunch of mad cunts. Even the really old guys party hard.
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Nov 19, 2014 02:06
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