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WAY TO GO WAMPA!!
Oct 27, 2007

:slick: :slick: :slick: :slick:

Rupert Buttermilk posted:

I currently work for Pornhub (well, Mindgeek, the parent company), which is pretty cool. It's out of Montreal. I deal directly with the user-uploaded photos, and sometimes the community vids. I really like it, very low stress and great people to work with. Very professional, but obviously nothing is NSFW. In fact, it's weirder to have Facebook open up during work hours than some girl getting a facial or something. Free breakfasts every morning and a birthday lunch celebration once a month for everyone to enjoy.

Before this, a couple years ago, I worked as a sound designer/composer for casino games and some may remember a (small) Ask/Tell thread I did about it. That was my favourite job ever, but I left for Montreal as my wife got a really great job with Traffic Junky (also owned by Mindgeek, we work together) that paid way more than my audio job.

I'm really lucky in that the casino company still sort of needs another sound designer, so they've been giving me per-game contracts to work on as a second job. So, in a way, I still work for them.

Getting paid to create sound effects and write music is the best thing ever.

Does everyone just have a boner all the time? Are you allow to jack it in the bathroom?

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Xaris
Jul 25, 2006

Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

Rupert Buttermilk posted:

I currently work for Pornhub (well, Mindgeek, the parent company), which is pretty cool. It's out of Montreal. I deal directly with the user-uploaded photos, and sometimes the community vids. I really like it, very low stress and great people to work with. Very professional, but obviously nothing is NSFW. In fact, it's weirder to have Facebook open up during work hours than some girl getting a facial or something. Free breakfasts every morning and a birthday lunch celebration once a month for everyone to enjoy.

Before this, a couple years ago, I worked as a sound designer/composer for casino games and some may remember a (small) Ask/Tell thread I did about it. That was my favourite job ever, but I left for Montreal as my wife got a really great job with Traffic Junky (also owned by Mindgeek, we work together) that paid way more than my audio job.

I'm really lucky in that the casino company still sort of needs another sound designer, so they've been giving me per-game contracts to work on as a second job. So, in a way, I still work for them.

Getting paid to create sound effects and write music is the best thing ever.

you might have the best job ever

Rupert Buttermilk
Apr 15, 2007

🚣RowboatMan: ❄️Freezing time🕰️ is an old P.I. 🥧trick...

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

Does everyone just have a boner all the time? Are you allow to jack it in the bathroom?

Not that I know of, about the boners. As for the jacking in the bathroom, I'm sure someone's done it. Honestly, porn gets pretty regular after a while. One of the team leads always keeps things fresh by sending us the worst of the worst from xtube, before stuff gets deleted, since we have access to the backend. Dear god... dear.... god...

And yeah, this, coupled with doing freelance sound design/music, I feel like I'm pretty lucky :toot:

sexy young infidel
Nov 13, 2014

Faggot of the Year
2012, 2014
I run a not quite comedy forum & never been happier

Jinh
Sep 12, 2008

Fun Shoe
I work for a beer distributor. Its pretty baller. I maintain draft equipment in bars that have our products on tap so i get to chill with bartenders and drunk patrons all day. The only annoying part is people asking me for free samples and poo poo like hats, tshirts, bottle openers since we mostly do budweiser stuff. Not my department leave me alone!!!

I also help out at every major event that goes on in town that serves beer so i get vip access and during downtime when i'm not changing kegs or carting cases around i have the run of the place, free food and drinks etc.

serious norman
Dec 13, 2007

im pickle rick!!!!
Why yes I do enjoy my job as a prostitute OP :tipshat:

Xaris
Jul 25, 2006

Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

Rupert Buttermilk posted:

One of the team leads always keeps things fresh by sending us the worst of the worst from xtube, before stuff gets deleted, since we have access to the backend. Dear god... dear.... god...

haha, like what?

Rupert Buttermilk
Apr 15, 2007

🚣RowboatMan: ❄️Freezing time🕰️ is an old P.I. 🥧trick...

Xaris posted:

haha, like what?

Ball-stretching
Girly underwear making GBS threads (by a fat, german ginger, no less)
Feet that are wearing socks for 6 months, finally being taken (peeled) off and smelled
Penis torture
Bloody cumshots (usually related to penis torture)
And let's not forget someone who stuck 60 pins (the long kind with the little ball at the end) into each of their feet, and then tried to walk. That one, I think, was ok, since there was no blood involved.

TOILETLORD
Nov 13, 2012

by XyloJW
my retail job is pretty sweet, only time it gets busy is thanks giving and christmas the rest of the time i only have to maybe work 3 hours out of my day and talk to 5 or less customers. Get cheap healthcare and 16.50 and hour for doing the simplest poo poo. Oh and i get almost 6 weeks a year in paid leave if i want it.

klapman
Aug 27, 2012

this char is good

TOILETLORD posted:

my retail job is pretty sweet, only time it gets busy is thanks giving and christmas the rest of the time i only have to maybe work 3 hours out of my day and talk to 5 or less customers. Get cheap healthcare and 16.50 and hour for doing the simplest poo poo. Oh and i get almost 6 weeks a year in paid leave if i want it.

what the gently caress kind of retail job is this? are you sure you didnt die and get sent to retail valhalla or something

wilderthanmild
Jun 21, 2010

Posting shit



Grimey Drawer
The upside and freedom of my job really shows today. I'm doing some quality internetting.

klapman
Aug 27, 2012

this char is good
like what next toiletlord, are you going to say they let you sit when there's nothing you need to do???

opus111
Jul 6, 2014

Rupert Buttermilk posted:

Ball-stretching
Girly underwear making GBS threads (by a fat, german ginger, no less)
Feet that are wearing socks for 6 months, finally being taken (peeled) off and smelled
Penis torture
Bloody cumshots (usually related to penis torture)
And let's not forget someone who stuck 60 pins (the long kind with the little ball at the end) into each of their feet, and then tried to walk. That one, I think, was ok, since there was no blood involved.

Pls post more.

Rupert Buttermilk
Apr 15, 2007

🚣RowboatMan: ❄️Freezing time🕰️ is an old P.I. 🥧trick...

opus111 posted:

Pls post more.

I can answer questions, but you should probably PM me so I don't poo poo up the thread... unless GBS 2.whatever doesn't care about that kind of thing.

TOILETLORD
Nov 13, 2012

by XyloJW

klapman posted:

what the gently caress kind of retail job is this? are you sure you didnt die and get sent to retail valhalla or something

unionized grocery store, my job is baking/packing cookies, baking french bread, restocking the floor and making cake slices now. they talked some kid into doing all the freezer work now for 9.30 a hour so i aint got to anymore.

forgot i gotta frost cupcakes like twice a week too.

Pillow Clerk
Oct 18, 2008

Moridin920 posted:

i cook food

what kind of food you cook

Moridin920 posted:

there's tons of beautiful (and broken) people working the front of house.

do you sleep w/ them

Pillow Clerk
Oct 18, 2008

Oberleutnant posted:

I wish I had time to actually do real research, because we have some fascinating private papers of diplomats from the Napoleonic and Crimean Wars that are basically virgin territory, academically speaking.

festishizing virginity is problematic

Mixodorian
Jan 26, 2009
I teach string instruments and piano and also tune pianos. Being a piano tuner is awesome. Just smoke mad weed and work alone. Sometimes you get hired to tune an orchestra's piano, and they have you tune it multiple times a day, and get paid tons.

I also work 4 hours a week at a clothing store and buy their cheap insurance. I'm the only straight male there, it works out pretty good.

I recommend everyone to find a job they enjoy even if it is less pay. You can't put a price on a stress free life.

Water Resistant
Jul 10, 2003
I'm a computer engineer. Really interesting work, good co-workers, great pay and benefits, and I get to travel a fair bit, sometimes internationally. And very flexible hours with 5 and a half weeks of vacation plus holidays each year. Plus the nice satisfaction of knowing our microprocessors are powering all kinds of popular tech from videogame controllers to cars.

I really do love my job.

bag em and tag em
Nov 4, 2008
Iwork with Autistic kids, and I like it. Pay is only barely above poverty level and there is virtually no hope of ever being financially stable, but it makes me feel good and there is a lot of novelty from day to day.

Zeroisanumber
Oct 23, 2010

Nap Ghost
Some days I sleep at a fire station all day, other days I'm scrubbing bloodstains out of my shoes. I drink a little too much and I'm in therapy, and I'm pretty sure that I have low-level PTSD, but if I worked at one of your office jobs I'd go crazy and hang myself by a phone cord in the bathroom inside of a month.

Basically this.

http://vimeo.com/83877155

Storgar
Oct 31, 2011

BananaFusion posted:

I'm a computer engineer. Really interesting work, good co-workers, great pay and benefits, and I get to travel a fair bit, sometimes internationally. And very flexible hours with 5 and a half weeks of vacation plus holidays each year. Plus the nice satisfaction of knowing our microprocessors are powering all kinds of popular tech from videogame controllers to cars.

I really do love my job.

drat you! Do you actually get your hands on some RTL or are you stuck writing test cases and literally turning computers on and off all day? Any advice for getting an interesting CE job?

Execu-speak
Jun 2, 2011

Welcome to the real world hippies!
Its really great, you don't have that whole 'gently caress my alarm is going off but I don't want to get out of bed and face another day of this hell' feeling going on any more. Being happy in what you do bleeds through to your personal life and you find your relationships and home life running much better as well.

The job I do is hard as hell, the hours can be insane, the things you have to see and do absolutely traumatic and you see the worst side of society doing it. But the pay is good, the leave conditions are outstanding, it's very rewarding and it's what I've always wanted to do.

I came from a soul crushing office job into this career and the contrast in my happiness is stark.

Execu-speak fucked around with this message at 19:53 on Nov 27, 2014

Fluffy Bunnies
Jan 10, 2009

I'm an author. I realized I wanted to be an author when I was 4, and now I am. I'm getting into kid picture books shortly with a pile of other goons and I hope it goes well because it's pretty drat fun to write kid books.

I get fan mail sometimes. It blows my mind that something I wrote is googlable and that I get paid to do what I always wanted to.

Rupert Buttermilk
Apr 15, 2007

🚣RowboatMan: ❄️Freezing time🕰️ is an old P.I. 🥧trick...

Fluffy Bunnies posted:

I'm an author. I realized I wanted to be an author when I was 4, and now I am. I'm getting into kid picture books shortly with a pile of other goons and I hope it goes well because it's pretty drat fun to write kid books.

I get fan mail sometimes. It blows my mind that something I wrote is googlable and that I get paid to do what I always wanted to.

I need to know more, how did you get into this? Assuming the story/writing is good enough, can anyone do this? I would absolutely love to.

Fluffy Bunnies
Jan 10, 2009

Rupert Buttermilk posted:

I need to know more, how did you get into this? Assuming the story/writing is good enough, can anyone do this? I would absolutely love to.

It's a nightmare to get into anything with writing, be it kid books or horror novels. I started writing (paid writing, anyway) with a variety of online article factory poo poo and got really lucky. I think it depends more on your tenacity than whether or not the story is any good. Lots of garbage stories get published (including some of mine). It's whether or not you can sit there and beat your face into a wall enough to get stuff published.

If you just wanna do stories, though, I suggest the self-publishing route. You can get a good chunk of change and it's really not hard at all. Feel free to pm me about it and I'll answer anything I can because I've done that too.

spud
Aug 27, 2003

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Rupert Buttermilk posted:

I currently work for Pornhub (well, Mindgeek, the parent company), which is pretty cool. It's out of Montreal. I deal directly with the user-uploaded photos, and sometimes the community vids. I really like it, very low stress and great people to work with. Very professional, but obviously nothing is NSFW. In fact, it's weirder to have Facebook open up during work hours than some girl getting a facial or something. Free breakfasts every morning and a birthday lunch celebration once a month for everyone to enjoy.

Before this, a couple years ago, I worked as a sound designer/composer for casino games and some may remember a (small) Ask/Tell thread I did about it. That was my favourite job ever, but I left for Montreal as my wife got a really great job with Traffic Junky (also owned by Mindgeek, we work together) that paid way more than my audio job.

I'm really lucky in that the casino company still sort of needs another sound designer, so they've been giving me per-game contracts to work on as a second job. So, in a way, I still work for them.

Getting paid to create sound effects and write music is the best thing ever.

This sounds loving awesome, but are you like completely desensitized to porn now? I am assuming you are a straight guy (sorry if i'm wrong), so when you have sex, unless the girl is kicking you in the balls whilst wearing Nazi gear whilst your nipples are on fire, it does nothing for you?

Fluffy Bunnies posted:

I'm an author. I realized I wanted to be an author when I was 4, and now I am. I'm getting into kid picture books shortly with a pile of other goons and I hope it goes well because it's pretty drat fun to write kid books.

I get fan mail sometimes. It blows my mind that something I wrote is googlable and that I get paid to do what I always wanted to.

Are you JK Rowlings? Can we be irl friends?

I am a Technical Architect/Consultant in a very specific field which I don't want to talk further about. I travel around Europe, and sometimes internationally, and help people in large organizations solve fairly complex business and technical problems with bespoke technical solutions. I love my job because I was always good with computers, but didn't want to sit behind a desk programming for the rest of my life. The most complex aspect of my job is probably politics within an organization and having the necessary people skills to diffuse potentially difficult situations and get people on board. You need to very quickly assess who are the movers and shakers, and also any snakes that are eager for you to fuckup for whatever reason. This might be surprising as it's a very technical job.

I am in front of senior clients 90% of the time at the start of a project, and you need to be able to think quickly on your feet, as well as know your poo poo. As the project moves on and the client knows they can trust you, I can work from wherever really as long as there are no meetings, such as a hotel or home, which is great for personal life. I get 5 weeks holiday a year and really nice benefits. The largest project I worked on was $0.7billion, but I was only a tiny cog in a huge wheel. I get to see the world for free, and get to work on really, really interesting things that I would have no idea were even problems if I wasn't doing this. Sometimes I get lonely when I'm in a hotel though so I either post on the forums or go out and get wasted.

I love my job and it pays really well :3:

Oh yeah, all my private fuel (car gas/petrol or w/e) is also paid for. I'm a smug bitch.

EDIT: From reading all the other posts, I guess I work in a soul-crushing office job. I guess it's a matter of perspective.

spud fucked around with this message at 22:08 on Nov 27, 2014

Water Resistant
Jul 10, 2003

Storgar posted:

drat you! Do you actually get your hands on some RTL or are you stuck writing test cases and literally turning computers on and off all day? Any advice for getting an interesting CE job?

I work on the devices post silicon, so I get to do the fun stuff like create demos to show at trade shows, teach other engineers about our devices and why they should use them, and do high end tech support when some big company is having trouble (which at least means talking to other engineers, not Joe Public). I get a nice mix of writing code but also dealing with hardware so I have an oscilloscope and USB analyzer on my desk.

I got the job through internships, which I got via contacts in college. If what I do sounds interesting, I also recommend applying to any tech company that makes physical products and applying for embedded application engineering positions. Someone has to build and write the hardware and software that goes into an a fitness band for example. If you want to do RTL you might have to stick with the semiconductor manufacturers, but there are also a number of companies using FPGAs that need designers for that too that could be another option. Do some stuff with Arduino or a cheapish FPGA veal board so you can talk about it in interviews.

Water Resistant fucked around with this message at 21:12 on Nov 27, 2014

Hexel
Nov 18, 2011




If I was a male pornstar I would enjoy my job. I would loiter at the fluffer station :toot:

babypolis
Nov 4, 2009

TOILETLORD posted:

unionized grocery store, my job is baking/packing cookies, baking french bread, restocking the floor and making cake slices now. they talked some kid into doing all the freezer work now for 9.30 a hour so i aint got to anymore.

forgot i gotta frost cupcakes like twice a week too.

how do you reconcil your republican gimmick with your awesome union job

GORILLA BASTARD
Jun 20, 2005

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
Civil service & less than 6 yrs till retirement with a pension & a strong 401k to back it all up. Also have the ability to come back as a consultant on top of that. We schedule our own overtime so that we get at least 2 overtimes per pay period. Job is low to no stress level & co-workers are pretty chill.

Go-go union Powah!

spud
Aug 27, 2003

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

GORILLA BASTARD posted:

Civil service & less than 6 yrs till retirement with a pension & a strong 401k to back it all up. Also have the ability to come back as a consultant on top of that. We schedule our own overtime so that we get at least 2 overtimes per pay period. Job is low to no stress level & co-workers are pretty chill.

Go-go union Powah!

I started working with a Project Manager about 2 months ago that used to work in the public sector. I asked him "What's different about working here rather than the public sector"?

And the answer will have to wait til after holiday season.

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VagueRant
May 24, 2012

Execu-speak posted:

Its really great, you don't have that whole 'gently caress my alarm is going off but I don't want to get out of bed and face another day of this hell' feeling going on any more. Being happy in what you do bleeds through to your personal life and you find your relationships and home life running much better as well.

The job I do is hard as hell, the hours can be insane, the things you have to see and do absolutely traumatic and you see the worst side of society doing it. But the pay is good, the leave conditions are outstanding, it's very rewarding and it's what I've always wanted to do.

I came from a soul crushing office job into this career and the contrast in my happiness is stark.
Did you just write two and a bit paragraphs about your job and give no specifics whatsoever?

Hexel posted:

If I was a male pornstar I would enjoy my job. I would loiter at the fluffer station :toot:
Fluffers are a myth, sorry.

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