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Zippy the Bummer
Dec 14, 2008

Silent Majority
The Don
LORD COMMANDER OF THE UKRAINIAN ARMED FORCES

gnarlyhotep posted:

I think it's time to move away from the racetrack

i dont think car races work that way

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redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Reporting for shovel mission Sir.

Dodging death every day.

gnarlyhotep
Sep 30, 2008

by Lowtax
Oven Wrangler

Zippy the Bummer posted:

i dont think car races work that way

hey I've seen TV

Zippy the Bummer
Dec 14, 2008

Silent Majority
The Don
LORD COMMANDER OF THE UKRAINIAN ARMED FORCES

gnarlyhotep posted:

hey I've seen TV

nascar wouldnt be so boring if it was

Izumi Konata
May 4, 2012

by Ralp
i'm glad the op is still alive :angel:

unlimited shrimp
Aug 30, 2008
i was driving home from the burrito place one night and it was pretty late. as i approached the intersection i noticed the little crosswalk sign start blinking the hand, so i knew the yellow was coming up.
i wasn't in a hurry and noone was behind me so i said gently caress it and started braking before the light turned, instead of speeding up to beat it. right as my light turned yellow, a car came blasting through the intersection running its red. if i hadn't slowed down prematurely, i would have been t-boned on the drivers side and probably killed.

but anyway i wasnt killed and then i got to eat a tasty burrito

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Reporting for shovel mission Sir.
It's best to assume that you are about to die in the next few moments, and act accordingly. At all times.

Masturbasturd
Sep 1, 2014
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iatWY_ROZfI

some defensive drivin tactids

Spandex Bonerlord
Sep 30, 2014

You could have been a statistic op.

Xaris
Jul 25, 2006

Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

Fandyien posted:

how much did it gently caress up your car? i always see signs that are like hella bent as if the car drove up onto them and i'm like, drat, thats a sturdy sign

sorry, pretty late response but pretty bad. bumper was wrecked, the front left tire basically came off the rim and bent the rim. the axle got slightly bent

the sign was still up :(

it was the first rain after like 8+ months of a dryspell, going downhill, and driving at night which i suck at. was pretty much a recipe for disaster and the good thing was no one was around. hydroplaning is scary as poo poo, like i knew exactly what was happening and was powerless to stop it like in slow motion.

Baba Ganoush
Oct 12, 2014
Dinosaur Gum

Xaris posted:

sorry, pretty late response but pretty bad. bumper was wrecked, the front left tire basically came off the rim and bent the rim. the axle got slightly bent

the sign was still up :(

it was the first rain after like 8+ months of a dryspell, going downhill, and driving at night which i suck at. was pretty much a recipe for disaster and the good thing was no one was around. hydroplaning is scary as poo poo, like i knew exactly what was happening and was powerless to stop it like in slow motion.

dat adrenaline, but it's not a near death experience

you can feel the slow-mo effect hitting a baseball if you're good at it

e.http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/notrocketscience/2012/09/04/ready-steady-slow-time-slows-down-when-we-prepare-to-move/


shows my point but not really

Baba Ganoush fucked around with this message at 09:42 on Dec 1, 2014

ghlbtsk
Apr 19, 2005

these bath mats
are
GORGEOUS
When I die, my av will haunt this place SO HARD.

Tite Barnacle
Jun 4, 2014

Meowdy Purrdner

Grimey Drawer
Years back I was driving a 78 Pontiac bonneville, which is pretty much a tank--though in fairness it was more of an aftermarket soviet leftover tank, cause almost nothing actually worked on it Can't say I was proud of it but it was my first car, and I did get an insurance bonus because it was technically a classic car. Classic indeed. Anyhow, one evening while waiting at a stoplight on my way to a miserable job schlepping frozen food around an enormous grocery distribution warehouse, a kid in a red probe pulled out of a gas station a couple hundred yards up the road and clipped the rear panel of a green Saab that was doing about 75 in the opposite lane. It's kinda weird to see disaster unfold--i mostly remember watching the Saab fishtail all over the place before realizing that oh gently caress that's gonna hit me...next thing I know there's glass all over the interior and my knees are bleeding through my jeans from hitting each other so hard the skin split...on the bright side both the Saab and the probe had to be hauled away on flatbeds while my shitheap was still driveable (in a loose interpretation of the word). It no longer had a driver's side window and the door wouldn't open ever again but that stuff just made it easier to locate in the parking lot--it did, after all, have a tarp held down by a big rock over it whenever the forecast called for rain. I drove it for 2 months like that until the radiator literally exploded. Also because a mechanic friend of mine knew the insurance adjustor on the case I got 2 grand for a car I paid 300 bucks for. If my poo poo had been made of fiberglass I don't know that I would've lived through that crash, judging by the state of the other vehicles involved. Which might've been better for everyone. Anyhow god bless that good old Detroit rolling iron, I still miss that monstrosity once in a while.

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
grow some balls, human being-rear end

Tite Barnacle
Jun 4, 2014

Meowdy Purrdner

Grimey Drawer
One is about the size of a canteloupe, but the other is big enough to be considered normal son

ElGroucho
Nov 1, 2005

We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane
Fun Shoe

Fandyien posted:

so i was driving home and someone ran a red light when i was going throuhg the intersection at 40mph, i had to slam the brakes and almost flipped my car trying to avoid a disastrous t-boning. they started yelling at me and then someone in a truck told me "god saved my life" and confirmed it wasn' teven remotely my fault

this makes me want to start taking the bus.

what are your horrible driving stories, goons?

Don't die bro

You are one of the few goons who's posting isn't atrocious

milkingmycow
Mar 28, 2008

by Cyrano4747
I'm dead. Ask me anything.

One time I was sledding. There was a little 1"x.5"x.25 inch baby tree stump sticking out of the ground. I reached speed and hit it. It split the sled in half vertically and punched me in the rear end in a top hat. That's how I died.

1gnoirents
Jun 28, 2014

hello :)
i had just bought this car in july and was on a highway going to visit some family. this highway has a fairly high speed limit considering its curves and very very very long exit lanes. of course people drive in the 2 mile long exit lanes to cut across at the last second because, rear end in a top hat

anyway so a navigator does that right in front of me because i actually tend to give a modest driving gap and not tailgate (which of course just never ceases to gently caress me over), but very suddenly slams on his brakes 100%, bucking like a bull. since he literally just cut me off I'm in spitting distance to this rear end in a top hat and i completely lock up the wheels, abs full force hang-on-you're-outta-luck bullshit. I dont hit him even though it looks like I was going to, and I see this dudes face full of wide eyed terror in his big rear end side view mirror and I give him the finger. people going 75+ swerving around us almost sideways across all lanes. luckily abs prevented flat spotting $800 worth of tires but that brings us to #2.

2) a much longer time ago i was going probably 40 in a 45 because a light ahead of me was red but then turned green. well, some minivan ran the light and turned left anyways and i slammed on the brakes and slid right behind him. thank gently caress he committed to his retard move or itd have been a t bone but i was furious. this was in an 04 mustang which didn't have factory ABS :lol: and i ruined all four tires. I did a sweet rear end fury-powerslide in the intersection and followed him for like 10 seconds giving him the finger and laying on the horn but then I saw it was a terrified african family and i was like alright whatever and left

thanks 4 the memories op

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

I bet you die like almost constantly and never realize 99% of what saved you and only occasionally when you notice something major like a narrowly averted car accident face the reality that the world probably pulls that poo poo all the time on you but you never see it.

gnarlyhotep
Sep 30, 2008

by Lowtax
Oven Wrangler
"Don't die, I need your business!" - Marcus from Borderlands 2

Ramsus
Sep 14, 2002

by Hand Knit

gnarlyhotep posted:

"Don't die, I need your business!" - Marcus from Borderlands 2

-blacksmith boldwin from better game

err, best game

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Varicose Brains
Apr 10, 2008

Grant DaNasty posted:

Have you considered that you did die in that accident and you haven't realized it yet?

This thread is OP's personal hell.

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