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KierkegaardsHo
Mar 21, 2004

You can totally buy hitmen on Silk Road 1.0 and they're all legit. Just ask the dude who runs it. His name is Ross, and he successfully buys hitmen on the reg.

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PixieDreamGirl
Apr 29, 2014

2014; The year I whored myself out for title changes.

Yo, I don't care what y'all do,how y'all do or where y'all do it, just keep it gangsta and never pay for an av change, have someone else do it- Ya boy Pixie

Also gas poisoning is untraceable. Mother always said to take the path of least resistance, which is also the cheapest route. Just leave the oven on and open Op. You'll be rolling in dough in no time!

Parahexavoctal
Oct 10, 2004

I AM NOT BEING PAID TO CORRECT OTHER PEOPLE'S POSTS! DONKEY!!

Attach some LEDs to your forehead. Cut off the electricity to your relatives' home, and wander around inside.

Your relatives will see the LEDs in the darkness, and approach you out of curiosity.

As soon as they get close enough, unhinge your jaw and swallow them whole.

You get a nutritious meal, you don't have to worry about disposing of the body, and the judge will let you off as soon as you explain you were just following your instincts.

Hingehead
Nov 24, 2013

logical phalluses posted:

i have family members where if they die i get a lot of money. im thinking about murdering them maybe? how should i do it.

(dear FBI, NSA, etc: this is a joke im not really going to kill anybody please don't arrest me)




Join ISIS and be a career suicide bomber.

Kosher Pickup Line
Jan 10, 2008

Hair Elf

this post deserves another view

DONT THREAD ON ME
Oct 1, 2002

by Nyc_Tattoo
Floss Finder

logical phalluses posted:

i have family members where if they die i get a lot of money. im thinking about murdering them maybe? how should i do it.

(dear FBI, NSA, etc: this is a joke im not really going to kill anybody please don't arrest me)

arrange so that you need to go to their house on the holidays and take a lot of ambien

Mayor Dave
Feb 20, 2009

Bernie the Snow Clown

DoctorStrangelove posted:

I don't know why anyone would want to murder they're famil

ron paul kill you're parents

gnarlyhotep
Sep 30, 2008

by Lowtax
Oven Wrangler

hemale in pain posted:

with kindness

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Zombiepop
Mar 30, 2010
Start with yourself op then the rest will die eventually.

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