Kuato posted:

Like many of you, I'm on a dialup connection (took all morning to load this page up and boy was it worth it!), so if someone can summarize the video for us it'd be appreciated.

thunderspanks posted:

clip #1- some dumb news reporter reports the news about a geologist who took a "heat signature" of a dumb looking 'alien' that looks suspiciously like something out of a old sci fi movie also they use a bunch of lens flare and include meaningful facebook comment screencaps such as "seriously freaking me out" and "yikes" 2/10

clip #2- a couple of dumb australian news anchors think some video from argentina of a cow 100' away floating off into the clouds is definitely evidence of an abduction and not obviously babbys first adobe after effects project. features great quotes like "well how do you explain that then" and "that's definitely an abduction" oh also someone laid the tune from close encounters under it because, I dunno, subtlety 1/10

clip #3- "SENT IN BY A VIEWER FROM HOLYOKE MASSACHUSETTS THIS VIDEO SHOWS WHAT APPEARS TO BE AN ALIEN GREY HIDING IN HIS BACKYARD. HIS DAUGHTER FIRST HEAD A NOISE OUTSIDE SO THEY WENT TO INVESTIGATE. FOR SOME REASON NO SOUND WAS CAPTURED (lol) BUT WHAT WAS CAUGHT ON VIDEO IS INSANE." it's not insane. it's some jerkoff kid in an alien mask. gently caress this video and gently caress the stupid red font they used. /10

clip #4- someone used a lovely text to voice program that sounds like it should be reciting the lyrics to fitter happier and thinks that there is a giant egyptian monument in the side of a cliff on mars captured by the curiosity rover. i dunno. i guess if i were high on jenkem and squinted my eyes or something i'd see it. but of course you don't see it until they provide a highly illustrative highlight essentially telling you what you are supposed to see. noteworthy quote: "it also has a different texture than the other rocks surrounding it. except for this rock over here." gently caress why am i doing this. 3/10 it made me want to listen to radiohead.

clip #5- "STRANGE SOUNDS HEARD IN LA CROSSE, WASHINGTON" i swear to god they are using some font straight out of 1985 what the gently caress hahaha anyway, our silent cameraman is walking around his neighbourhood pointing his camera around while "strange sounds" reverberate around him. this one actually made me laugh out loud, for real, because i literally do post production sound for a living and this poo poo is so fake that for the first time in my life i yelled "fake and gay" at my computer. eventually there's a too-well timed explosion and car alarms and he makes some spooked out noises and it fades to black. 10/10 because i'm sure the youtube comment "Gokú vs. Vegetta" was about this and it's really not super badly done compared to most fake vids. i hat emy life and i want to stop now but i'm in too deep.

clip #6- oh hey lovely robot voice is back. some lady is on doctor phil. she's wearing lizard eye contacts. somehow this means she's a reptilian and so is dr. phil. i loving hate dr phil. killer quote: "like the idea that reptillians can cloak themselves in our minds"
0/10

clip #7- there's some "massive flat structure" underwater off the coast of malibu, according to google maps. apparently this is evidence of an underwater alien base. "this could explain why many ufos have been witnessed flying into the pacific ocean as well as all the uso's that have been reported over the last 5 decades." man this robot guy is just filled with runon sentences. i'm not even half done this poo poo. gently caress. retarded quote : "could alien life be right under our nose? have they been here the whole time? what do you guys think?" 5/10 cool google map graphics.

clip #8- some hole digging machine in seattle named "bertha" got blocked and couldn't progress. i always wanted to meet a girl named bertha. I couldn't really figure out what the point of this clip was, so i waited. Eventually they show part of an interview with an engineer. he says "well theoretically we're down in the native soils [..] in the native glacial soils, so we're not expecting to find artifacts or locomotives or ships or something like that down there" -fades to black- suddenly a title card appears in that lovely loving font again sayin "DID HE JUST SAY ARTIFACTS OR "SHIPS"? AS IN "SPACE SHIPS"? no you loving retards, boats. ughhhh i want to punch whoever made this. anyway apparently this giant 5 story drill got snagged on something and this means, like, ALIENS or whatever. 1/10 only because it was just 10 minutes of news clips with nothing actually being said. and i needed a break.

clip #9- a goddamn chupacabra story? are you loving for real?

clip #10- hooooly poo poo this is the motherlode of crazy right here. I'm not even sure what I just listened to mr. fuckstick roboto say but i think i can summarize it with "the philae space probe is actually an alien ufo, here's 2 minutes of that crazy sped-up magnetic resonance sound to distract you from the fact that i'm about to now claim that the 67p is actually the alien space craft because i'm literally incapable of coherent thought"
apparently nasa and the esa are in cahoots to keep aliens a secret. whatever.

clip #11- CAR ABDUCTION IN NORTH DAKOTA -NOVEMBER-
HOLY poo poo UNDENIABLE EVIDENCE OF ALIEN ABDUCTIONS oh wait actually it's just literally a 2 frame white flash inserted through windows movie maker as a car approaches the bottom left frame and then the car is gone. what. 6/10 because i laughed when they used the flash to cue 'generic space echo sound effect #6" from the same sfx library i use. good times.

it's over. Mister Enigma i hope you die of aids.

MisterMachine posted:

Wow. No life much? I love AIDS. They kill so many stupid people. I bet your mother has it.

Rando posted:

close thread & ban OP.

Rando posted:

I thought this was over. We agreed it was over.

thunderspanks posted:

The lamest burn

Rando posted:

I thought this was over. We agreed it was over.

MisterMachine posted:

And yours is better how? 2nd grader.

MisterMachine posted:

Dude. What are you even talking about? Go somewhere else.

MisterMachine posted:

Dude. What are you even talking about? Go somewhere else.

Rando posted:

I'm comfortable here and I'm getting a good vibe from a couple other posters.

Fog Tripper posted:

MisterMachine posted:

I guess I just don't get it.