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Pixelated Dragon posted:What kind of person do you think it often takes, then? A pretty forgiving one. I would never be friends with a person I saw being vindictive or malicious, even if it was only one time. Anybody like that I just cut down all my contact with them to a minimum. It's not hard to go through life associating almost exclusively with nice/reasonable people, unless you're saddled with people you hate at your job or in your family. And even then, you have options. One of the people I knew with BPD was a vicious bitch, frankly, but she had the sweetest and most gentle guy for a boyfriend. She twisted him round her little finger, and he went with it because he was such a passive and receptive person. And when she was happy, she was also prone to being very extrovert and kind. When everybody did things her way, she was everybody's friend. And for some people, the good times are enough to cancel out the bad times.
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Feb 6, 2015 00:36
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Jeza posted:A pretty forgiving one. I would never be friends with a person I saw being vindictive or malicious, even if it was only one time. Anybody like that I just cut down all my contact with them to a minimum. It's not hard to go through life associating almost exclusively with nice/reasonable people, unless you're saddled with people you hate at your job or in your family. And even then, you have options. I'd be lying if I said that I never had tiffs with my friend once in a blue moon. They were never very serious. I don't think it's possible to have a close interpersonal relationship with anyone and agree about everything 100% of the time. She was not vindictive or malicious; not that I know of and not towards me. The point I was trying to make to Valk is that not everyone who's diagnosed with BPD are these attention-seeking train wrecks who make everyone in their lives miserable. I do consider myself a pretty forgiving person. In light of this, I may have overlooked some of her antics without realizing it. Even so, I would say the friendship was a very rewarding one. Pixelated Dragon fucked around with this message at 17:09 on Feb 6, 2015 |
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Feb 6, 2015 00:55
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How do you feel about the effort to reclassify BPD as Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD)? Do you think your BPD was a direct result of your childhood? Or do you believe it is genetic? My mom has BPD. My upbringing was difficult and abusive, but not particularly awful because my dad acted as a buffer between her at her worst and my brother and I. Now that we're adults we maintain a tenuous relationship with her, and she's stabilized some now that she's in her 60s, but it's been a long road.
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Feb 6, 2015 03:12
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Pixelated Dragon posted:I'd be lying if I said that I never had tiffs with my friend once in a blue moon. They were never very serious. I don't think it's possible to have a close interpersonal relationship with anyone and agree about everything 100% of the time. She was not vindictive or malicious; not that I know of and not towards me. The point I was trying to make to Valk is that not everyone who's diagnosed with BPD are these attention-seeking train wrecks who make everyone in their lives miserable. You are the factor in this friendship that is making it work, not her. If she hasn't tried to have sex with you or manipulate you, you either have very strong boundaries or are under the thumb. That is the diagnosis. Some are more lucid and willing to accept it than others, but the pathology is pretty much what you're describing "not all borderlines" to be. That's the way the disorder presents. If this person is not like that with you, she is certainly like that with someone(two, three?) else. Jeza posted:A pretty forgiving one. I would never be friends with a person I saw being vindictive or malicious, even if it was only one time. Anybody like that I just cut down all my contact with them to a minimum. It's not hard to go through life associating almost exclusively with nice/reasonable people, unless you're saddled with people you hate at your job or in your family. And even then, you have options. unsurprisingly, her boyfriend is the exact type of person whom i was referring to.
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Feb 7, 2015 02:32
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Pixelated Dragon posted:What causes BPD? From what I understand, it's not a chemical imbalance in the brain and that's why medications won't help. Maybe I'm wrong. Edit: Let me rephrase, what do you understand to be the cause of your BPD? From what I understand, it's a genetic predispoition/brain abnormality (smaller, overactive amygdala, underactive prefrontal cortex)plus childhood abuse. Basically when very sensitive children grow up in extremely invalidating environments they learn not to trust their own judgments or feelings.
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Feb 8, 2015 06:32
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Nione posted:How do you feel about the effort to reclassify BPD as Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD)? I think it's a good idea. Thats literally what it is, a reaction to trauma. I think theres a trauma spectrum just like the autism spectrum. From least to most severe, it goes acute stress disorder, ptsd, cluster b personality disorders/c-ptsd, dissociative identity disorder. I think its a combination of both.
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Feb 8, 2015 06:36
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How do you feel about the increasingly pervasive belief that BPD has become a social construct, a clinical label for temperamental, difficult people--particularly women? Given its overdiagnosis, this sort of backlash is unsurprising.
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Feb 8, 2015 12:00
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Pixelated Dragon posted:How do you feel about the increasingly pervasive belief that BPD has become a social construct, a clinical label for temperamental, difficult people--particularly women? Given its overdiagnosis, this sort of backlash is unsurprising. I've known a bunch of people with BPD diagnoses and it's definitely got a personality type associated with it. And it is not at all a subtle thing, either.
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Feb 8, 2015 21:25
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Pixelated Dragon posted:How do you feel about the increasingly pervasive belief that BPD has become a social construct, a clinical label for temperamental, difficult people--particularly women? Given its overdiagnosis, this sort of backlash is unsurprising. I dont really know enough about this to comment. Ive been getting more and more frustrated lately that I don't seem to enjoy doing anything. I dont know why nothing interests me very much but it seems like that will preclude me from ever finding meaning in life or being able to share it with anyone romantically. eternalname fucked around with this message at 03:33 on Feb 9, 2015 |
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Feb 9, 2015 02:39
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k2000 posted:What made you want to visit those doctors to get diagnosed? What made you think you might have a mental issue instead of it being people just being assholes to you? here's some advice sever
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Feb 10, 2015 17:58
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Valk posted:here's some advice There's a staggering amount of "I think my girlfriend has BPD because she does X" stuff on the internet. The only person who can make that assessment is someone qualified to do so. It seems like X is usually the woman getting upset about something her partner deems unimportant. (I'm not saying this is the case for k2000. Flipping out about tomatoes on pizza seems like making a mountain out of a molehill, but there's probably some hyperbolizing going on and one would have to hear both sides of the story in order to give any advice of real value. That's why I generally hate giving interpersonal relationship advice over the internet.) Pixelated Dragon fucked around with this message at 22:52 on Feb 10, 2015 |
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Feb 10, 2015 22:45
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eternalname posted:Ive been getting more and more frustrated lately that I don't seem to enjoy doing anything. I dont know why nothing interests me very much but it seems like that will preclude me from ever finding meaning in life or being able to share it with anyone romantically. I know you're in CBT, but what do you do for psychiatric issues? Insomnia, depression, anhedonia, etc.? I have ADD and depression, and for a while I was treating only the ADD, as I thought my depression would be entirely resolved by coping with my ADD. What I found out is that even if my depression is entirely rooted in having Attention Deficit Disorder (which no one can say for sure), it's still independent of the ADD. Actively dealing with your BPD is hugely important, but you have to deal with its symptoms just as doggedly. Besides, it has to be really hard to deal with BPD as it is; it has to be that much harder to stay on top of it when you're also depressed and questioning the futility of it all. Good luck, man. My mom had BPD, and it's not what I would call a good time.
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Feb 11, 2015 00:11
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Pixelated Dragon posted:There's a staggering amount of "I think my girlfriend has BPD because she does X" stuff on the internet. The only person who can make that assessment is someone qualified to do so. there are two possibilities here, a) his girlfriend has borderline personality disorder b) he is hyperbolising and, unable to take his girlfriend's concerns as valid has immediately come to the conclusion of personality disorder without considering other contingencies or talking to his girlfriend about it. as you can see, in either case, the best possible action is sever. edit: scratch that, history of abuse and PTSD, it's a personality disorder. Pull the ripcord, it's time to bail. Valk fucked around with this message at 04:21 on Feb 11, 2015 |
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Feb 11, 2015 04:18
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Valk posted:there are two possibilities here, Absolutely, I feel there is only one reason anyone behaves in such a way towards their partner: because their partner stays and takes it. If he is receiving day-long lectures about how he doesn’t care about her and yet is still trying to figure out what the problem is, those lectures have clearly not been about communication or addressing concerns. If someone gets into rages like that, aimed at someone they love, and is not actively taking steps to stop getting so irrationally angry and frankly abusive towards their partner, then they have on some level decided it is OK. So yes, I fully support running for the hills.
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Feb 11, 2015 11:54
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Railtus posted:Absolutely, I feel there is only one reason anyone behaves in such a way towards their partner: because their partner stays and takes it. Valk posted:edit: scratch that, history of abuse and PTSD, it's a personality disorder. Pull the ripcord, it's time to bail. Cildhood trauma =/= mental illness. All we know about this person is that she doesn't like tomatoes and that she may or may not have told him off about a few things. There's no reason to assume she's mentally ill. If he's really unhappy in the relationship then yes, he should leave. Simply being unhappy in the relationship for a long time is a good enough reason to leave in and of itself. However, he should not bail with the excuse that she is mentally ill. He cannot make that call with any authority that anyone at all should take seriously. Pixelated Dragon fucked around with this message at 20:16 on Feb 11, 2015 |
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Feb 11, 2015 14:52
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Bobbie Wickham posted:I know you're in CBT, but what do you do for psychiatric issues? Insomnia, depression, anhedonia, etc.? I have ADD and depression, and for a while I was treating only the ADD, as I thought my depression would be entirely resolved by coping with my ADD. What I found out is that even if my depression is entirely rooted in having Attention Deficit Disorder (which no one can say for sure), it's still independent of the ADD. Actively dealing with your BPD is hugely important, but you have to deal with its symptoms just as doggedly. Besides, it has to be really hard to deal with BPD as it is; it has to be that much harder to stay on top of it when you're also depressed and questioning the futility of it all. If you mean medications, nothing. I've tried a few psychiatrists and kept getting put on things that only made me feel much worse. Recently I was put on effexor and said no, gently caress this, I'm done. It'd be one thing if this stuff were not helping much - the side effects, especially from cymbalta, lamictal, and effexor, were worse than anything BPD could offer. I would be really scared to go on meds again. If you mean in general - I only do DBT in my weekly group therapy sessions, my individual sessions are to discuss any other concerns or symptoms (usually depression or anger)I am having. I've asked all of my therapists about the chronic boredom issue and none of them have known what to do. On my own time, I try to eat healthy, exercise, get good sleep, take fish oil, etc. you name it. I try lots of different hobbies and some seem more 'right' to me than others but I always sort of wish I were just reading or posting on forums and am relieved when I feel I have put enough time into it and can go relax. eternalname fucked around with this message at 06:34 on Feb 12, 2015 |
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Feb 12, 2015 06:30
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