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mandatory lesbian
Dec 18, 2012
like i think your trying to troll but could you do it in a way that makes sense op

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Steampunk iPhone
Sep 2, 2009

by XyloJW
I think you should bend her over a park bench and gently caress her with your stinking, rock-hard gently caress staff until she’s dead. Use your keys to rip her creamy little dick cavity to shreds. Smear the blood all over your face and shaft. Then, you should poo poo into her mouth. By this, you will show her that you are in the dominant position, and that you don’t care one way or the other about her behavior. It’s the next best thing to loving severing, which you should promptly do while you vote her life a five and give her rear end AIDS. Nuke her from orbit, but at the same time, make sure you’re using fire. I am a big fat human being. I like to pick my nose and put the boogers into my erect penis. I like to pee out little rods of my compressed penis booger. God is a human being. God is a friend of the family. The Lord God Jesus Christ is a worthless human being. I kill everything I see. I can’t stop loving. I wish I could have sex. I want to gently caress so bad. I can taste your loving vagina juice. I am a friend of the family. I am a stupid stupid fat loving friend of the family. God is Hitler’s human being. There is no such thing as a human being.

killaer
Aug 4, 2007
it sucks since this is a troll post I wanted a real life sad goon to trip report his failed first date

GrrrlSweatshirt
Jun 2, 2012

Steampunk iPhone posted:

I think you should bend her over a park bench and gently caress her with your stinking, rock-hard gently caress staff until she’s dead. Use your keys to rip her creamy little dick cavity to shreds. Smear the blood all over your face and shaft. Then, you should poo poo into her mouth. By this, you will show her that you are in the dominant position, and that you don’t care one way or the other about her behavior. It’s the next best thing to loving severing, which you should promptly do while you vote her life a five and give her rear end AIDS. Nuke her from orbit, but at the same time, make sure you’re using fire. I am a big fat human being. I like to pick my nose and put the boogers into my erect penis. I like to pee out little rods of my compressed penis booger. God is a human being. God is a friend of the family. The Lord God Jesus Christ is a worthless human being. I kill everything I see. I can’t stop loving. I wish I could have sex. I want to gently caress so bad. I can taste your loving vagina juice. I am a friend of the family. I am a stupid stupid fat loving friend of the family. God is Hitler’s human being. There is no such thing as a human being.

post of the day

Guancho
Aug 23, 2010

You don't write any postcards when you're on the road to self-discovery

Steampunk iPhone posted:

I think you should bend her over a park bench and gently caress her with your stinking, rock-hard gently caress staff until she’s dead. Use your keys to rip her creamy little dick cavity to shreds. Smear the blood all over your face and shaft. Then, you should poo poo into her mouth. By this, you will show her that you are in the dominant position, and that you don’t care one way or the other about her behavior. It’s the next best thing to loving severing, which you should promptly do while you vote her life a five and give her rear end AIDS. Nuke her from orbit, but at the same time, make sure you’re using fire. I am a big fat human being. I like to pick my nose and put the boogers into my erect penis. I like to pee out little rods of my compressed penis booger. God is a human being. God is a friend of the family. The Lord God Jesus Christ is a worthless human being. I kill everything I see. I can’t stop loving. I wish I could have sex. I want to gently caress so bad. I can taste your loving vagina juice. I am a friend of the family. I am a stupid stupid fat loving friend of the family. God is Hitler’s human being. There is no such thing as a human being.

paranoid randroid
Mar 4, 2007

iTrust posted:

Girls are not raid bosses

Hometown Slime Queen
Oct 26, 2004

the GOAT

Steampunk iPhone posted:

I think you should bend her over a park bench and gently caress her with your stinking, rock-hard gently caress staff until she’s dead. Use your keys to rip her creamy little dick cavity to shreds. Smear the blood all over your face and shaft. Then, you should poo poo into her mouth. By this, you will show her that you are in the dominant position, and that you don’t care one way or the other about her behavior. It’s the next best thing to loving severing, which you should promptly do while you vote her life a five and give her rear end AIDS. Nuke her from orbit, but at the same time, make sure you’re using fire. I am a big fat human being. I like to pick my nose and put the boogers into my erect penis. I like to pee out little rods of my compressed penis booger. God is a human being. God is a friend of the family. The Lord God Jesus Christ is a worthless human being. I kill everything I see. I can’t stop loving. I wish I could have sex. I want to gently caress so bad. I can taste your loving vagina juice. I am a friend of the family. I am a stupid stupid fat loving friend of the family. God is Hitler’s human being. There is no such thing as a human being.

:aaa:

Guancho
Aug 23, 2010

You don't write any postcards when you're on the road to self-discovery
You should feed her by sensually dipping ur nuts in the Summer Squash and Corn Chowder soup and then teabag her. repeat until she is full or you run out of soup

flick my Mr. Bean
Nov 18, 2014

snodig posted:

Ready so I don’t just sit there and feel left out.

How do you get left out of a one on one date?

edt: "I know the soup is a little...thick but that's how I like it" then look her up and down and wink.

flick my Mr. Bean fucked around with this message at 02:44 on Dec 19, 2014

SnowblindFatal
Jan 7, 2011

snodig posted:

- Read a book to calm me down.

Watch out if the book is too deep it may bring you down and you may find yourself concentrating on the book instead of what the girl has to say. One moment she's expecting an answer and you have 0 idea what she just said.

SnowblindFatal
Jan 7, 2011

iTrust posted:

Girls are not raid bosses

Actually wrong when you really think about it lol.

Luvcow
Jul 1, 2007

One day nearer spring
OP is a troll :eng99:

As is custom on the forums OP you should close the thread and enjoy a bean pie.

:golfclap:

CaptainHollywood
Feb 29, 2008


I am an awesome guy and I love to make out during shitty Hollywood horror movies. I am a trendwhore!
The more I read, the more I say, "This can't be real". Nice try OP

DONKEY SALAMI
Jun 28, 2008

donkey? donkey?

When you are having conversations with het, whenever you stop talking look at her and say "now, your turn"

This will keep conversation flowing plus she will know when to be naturally quiet

PTSDeedly Do
Nov 24, 2014

VOID-DOME LOSER 2020


Steampunk iPhone posted:

I think you should bend her over a park bench and gently caress her with your stinking, rock-hard gently caress staff until she’s dead. Use your keys to rip her creamy little dick cavity to shreds. Smear the blood all over your face and shaft. Then, you should poo poo into her mouth. By this, you will show her that you are in the dominant position, and that you don’t care one way or the other about her behavior. It’s the next best thing to loving severing, which you should promptly do while you vote her life a five and give her rear end AIDS. Nuke her from orbit, but at the same time, make sure you’re using fire. I am a big fat human being. I like to pick my nose and put the boogers into my erect penis. I like to pee out little rods of my compressed penis booger. God is a human being. God is a friend of the family. The Lord God Jesus Christ is a worthless human being. I kill everything I see. I can’t stop loving. I wish I could have sex. I want to gently caress so bad. I can taste your loving vagina juice. I am a friend of the family. I am a stupid stupid fat loving friend of the family. God is Hitler’s human being. There is no such thing as a human being.

this

social vegan
Nov 7, 2014



i made you this soup because as i understand it muslim women do not have fully functioning stomachs that's cool a bit sad but iw anna know about your struggle growing up w/o a stomach that can handle pigmeat

defectivemonkey
Jun 5, 2012
Soup is a dumb idea because it's useless without also baking bread, but baking bread would be a real tryhard move.

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Dubious
Mar 7, 2006

The Heroes the Vikings Deserve
Lipstick Apathy

Steampunk iPhone posted:

I think you should bend her over a park bench and gently caress her with your stinking, rock-hard gently caress staff until she’s dead. Use your keys to rip her creamy little dick cavity to shreds. Smear the blood all over your face and shaft. Then, you should poo poo into her mouth. By this, you will show her that you are in the dominant position, and that you don’t care one way or the other about her behavior. It’s the next best thing to loving severing, which you should promptly do while you vote her life a five and give her rear end AIDS. Nuke her from orbit, but at the same time, make sure you’re using fire. I am a big fat human being. I like to pick my nose and put the boogers into my erect penis. I like to pee out little rods of my compressed penis booger. God is a human being. God is a friend of the family. The Lord God Jesus Christ is a worthless human being. I kill everything I see. I can’t stop loving. I wish I could have sex. I want to gently caress so bad. I can taste your loving vagina juice. I am a friend of the family. I am a stupid stupid fat loving friend of the family. God is Hitler’s human being. There is no such thing as a human being.

same

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