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Feb 25, 2015 02:29
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 04:24 |
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One day in Heaven God was feeling very horny. He was too tired to masturbate though. "Hmm" thought God "what a predicament". Then it struck him. He was all powerful, he didn't have to manually get himself off. He could make a sex slave! So then God went down to the earth and tried to find a good woman to bear an offspring. He went to a stable. Suddenly...Mary was there! Her husband Joseph had left. "Perfect" thought God "A young defenceless virgin girl she will make a good child bearer" then God went down and raped Mary. "if you tell anyone I'll loving kill you" god muttered to her. Mary nodded, terrified. 9 months later a baby Jesus was born. God came down to claim him. "my son!" said God "you will grow up for great things! you are indeed very sexy .perfect!" then God killed Mary because she was a dirty whore. God couldn't have sex with baby Jesus so he left him on the earth until he was grown up. 20 years later Jesus had grown up. He had done many good things in the world like killing the Romans and leading the jews through the red sea. God found this a turn on. God came down for Jesus one day whilst Jesus was being baptised. John the baptiser had left to go buy some beer and Jesus was left alone naked in the pool. He had a six pack, some chest hair and a manly stubble. God crept up silently behind him naked. "Jesus" said God. Jesus jumped but didn't turn around. "wh - who is this?" he asked tentatively. "your daddy" God reached down under the water to feel Jesus' rear end. It was firm and smooth. Then he reached round the front and stroked his huge cock. Jesus was a bit scared but also a bit turned on. He turned around to face God. God stood there proudly with his 12 inch penis waving in the wind. "hello son" he said sexily. Jesus was scared, and tried to disguise his erection. "what do you want?" he whispered. "I want you to suck me" god said in a low voice. Jesus obeyed. He closed his mouth around the throbbing shaft and deepthroated God. "mmm yes more" God cried. "suck me harder bitch, harder!" Jesus continued sucking him off until God couldn't take any more. He was shuddering in ecstacy, his face sweaty. "more! more!" Suddenly God ejaculated into Jesus' mouth. Jesus swallowed all of his cum, savouring every last drop. He sucked until god's cock was completely dry. "wow that sure beats fapping" God breathed heavily. "are we done yet" Jesus asked, secretely hoping that there was more to come. "we're not finished yet!" God roared powerfully. There was a desk nearby. God forcefully grabbed Jesus and slammed him onto the desk in doggie position. God thrust his erect penis into Jesus' rear end in a top hat, and Jesus' screamed in pain. "take it like a man son" God yelled as he pounded Jesus' sorry rear end again and again. Jesus moaned in pain, his eyes filling with tears. God thrust faster and faster, harder and harder, breathing rapidly. Jesus panted and groaned with pleasure and pain. "I've never took it in the rear end before" Jesus panted, lost for breath. God was grunting louder, as he began to near his climax. Jesus was also grunting in exsquisite agony. God became so excited he couldn't hold it in any longer. He pulled out and sprayed his load all over Jesus rear end. Jesus came at the same time, he let out one scream of unbearable pleasure. All the cum swirled and mixed around in the water, Jesus flopped down into a chair, exhausted and relieved. God stood up panting. Suddenly God noticed someone standing by some trees. John had returned from the shops to finish baptising Jesus. "I'm sorry" John apologised "I didn't wanna interrupt" God noticed that John had an erection. He got an idea. "not to worry John" god said "Are you up for a threesome?"
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Feb 25, 2015 04:27
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I came.
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Feb 25, 2015 04:49
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I hope your day sucked, rear end in a top hat
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Feb 25, 2015 04:53
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I get a boner when I think about Jesus does that make me a believer or nah
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Feb 25, 2015 05:17
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mdm posted:I get a boner when I think about Jesus does that make me a believer or nah Only if you use it to reach climax in a church.
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Feb 25, 2015 05:27
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as a godkin i find this unacceptable
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Feb 25, 2015 05:27
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I don't believe in Jesus anymore, turns out the Bible is full of inconsistencies and that it seems unlikely that a magic sky man has anything to do with the way we live our lives. Feel free to keep deluding yourselves x-ians 
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Feb 25, 2015 07:32
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OP it is extremely unkind of you to hope that non-Christians have a bad day. Jesus set the example of compassion towards and acceptance of people who are still in their sins and I don't think you are following that example. hth, God bless
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Feb 25, 2015 10:16
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Feb 25, 2015 10:30
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 04:24 |
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Gimp Fack posted:One day in Heaven God was feeling very horny. He was too tired to masturbate though. "Hmm" thought God "what a predicament". Then it struck him. He was all powerful, he didn't have to manually get himself off. He could make a sex slave! So then God went down to the earth and tried to find a good woman to bear an offspring. He went to a stable. Suddenly...Mary was there! Her husband Joseph had left. "Perfect" thought God "A young defenceless virgin girl she will make a good child bearer" then God went down and raped Mary. "if you tell anyone I'll loving kill you" god muttered to her. Mary nodded, terrified. 9 months later a baby Jesus was born. God came down to claim him.
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Feb 27, 2015 14:56
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