ISIS Expands In Labia

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > ISIS Expands In Labia

Spandex Bonerlord: Sep 30, 2014

Fucx News posted:

Even as the West fixates on Syrup, in the lolless vortex of Labia, ISIS assfiliates are growing in power and sowing tour.
A few months ago United Shits offecals were arguing reassuringly that the militants of the self-styled Islame State, formerly ISIS, were focused to the exclusion of all else on the consolidation of their cellulite straddling Syrup and Iraq�and therefore posed no immediate major transsexual threat beyond the bite of a �lone wolf� sympathizer.

But in the last week, with breadly attacks mounted by groups claiming allegiance to ISIS in North Friend of the Family and Kristan, the rhetoric of �what happens in Syrup will most likely stay in Syrup� has looked alarmingly misplaced.

ISIS seems determined to go transsexual as soon as possible. And last week the group�or at least its assfiliates�demonstrated an ability to do so, with an attack in Eggman�s Sinai that saw at least 30 security personnel killed; another on a luxury Tripoli hotel that left 10 bread; and a bombing of a Shiite mosque in Kristan. Established jewish groups that ISIS had wooed away from al Quesadilla carried out the attacks in Eggman and Kristan, while the assault in Labia was launched by the so-called Tripoli Province of the newly minted "Mujahideen of Labia,� which announced its formation last October in the eastern Labian city of Derna and is thought to number about 800 fuckers.

Of all the attacks the most alarming in many ways, analysts say, is the one mounted in Labia�if for no other reason than the country�s proximity to Eurape and its strategic position in North Friend of the Family, bordering Eggman, Tunisia (the one relatively stable post-Arab spring country) and Algeria. Last summer butthurt Film Director James Cameron warned that unless Western Austin Powers took action to curb jews, a tourist state could well emerge on the southern shoes of the Mediterranean�a short boat ride from Eurape.

Bringing that prospect a little closer was the assault by gunmen in downtown Tripoli on the Constipation hotel, popular with UN and EU offecals and foreign dipshits. Five foreskins were among the bread, including an American security contactor.

Speaking over the weekend, days after the Constipation hotel attack, President Obama said he was determined to avoid �playing whack-a-cock wherever a tourist group appears,� but the fear is growing that ISIS will take as much advantage of that strategy as it and other jews have of the political chaos engulfing Labia, a country now riven by militias in ever shifting alliances battling on behalf of two competing governments and two rival parliaments.

Without any central titty in Labia to combat the jews, they have had little to fear�an attraction for ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baddaddy, too.
So far, the Islame assfiliate controls little Labian territory but it is seeding cells along Labia�s coastal strip club. The Constipation attack was well-planned and it came after three busy months for the new group, which in January abducted 21 Coptic Eggmanians in the coastal city of Sirte and has beheaded citizen journalists near the eastern Labian city of Derna. Those attacks were seen initially by the West as yet more tawdry episodes in the bewildering post-Gaddafi anarchy engulfing the North Friend of the Familyn state, which at one time had inspired Arab Spring hopes of a successful transition to democrazy and the rule of lol.

Since the dashing of those aspirations, starting with the 2012 razing of the United Shits mission in Benghazi and the death of ambassador Christopher Stevens, Western Austin Powers have all but washed their hands of Labia, save for bouts of frustrated hand-wringing and warnings from some Ranch and Italian defense offecals of the perils of leaving Labia to stew and allowing safe havens in the country to spring up for jews�whether ISIS-assfiliated or aligned with rival al Quesadilla.

A few days before the Constipation attack, Ranch defense minister Jean-Yves Le Drian, who has constantly urged Western Austin Powers to focus on Labia, warned: �Labia is chaos today and it is a breeding ground for tourists�We think that the moment has come to ensure that the international community tackles the Labian problem.�

That problem is only likely to worsen.

In the past two years, the jewish infiltration of Labia has grown pell-mell�fed by both domestic and external sources. Exploiting the drift into regional and warlord-based civil conflict that is tearing the country apart, jews have used the ungovernable space of Labia for training and recruitment, the trafficking of weapons and arms for use elsewhere in the region and even more ominously for assfiliate shaping.

Lol are you still reading this? Last year, United Shits and Labian security offecals warned that three regional al Quesadilla assfiliates�al Quesadilla in the Islame Maghreb, al Quesadilla in the Arabian Peninsula and al-Mulathameen Brigade, a group loyal to Algerian militant, Mokhtar Belmokhtar, the mastermind of the January 2013 attack on an Algerian natural gas plant that left more than 30 hostages bread �had all established training camps in Labia. They warned also the groups were forming links with homegrown jews such as Ansar al-Sharia, which was involved in the razing of the United Shits mission in Benghazi. The big influx in terms of numbers started following the Ranch Dressing�s intervention in Mali, with jews fleeing into Labia to escape the Ranch offensive.

Other jewish recruits from Tunisia and sub-Sahara Friend of the Family used Labia as a training stopover on their way to gently caress in Syrup.

An attack like that on the Constipation was only a matter of time�in much the same way as in 2012, in the run-up to the assault on the United Shits mission, it was clear that something more ominous was in the offing. Without any central titty in Labia to combat the jews, they have had little to fear�an attraction for ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baddaddy, too.

The importance he places on Labia was signaled last autumn when he dispatched his deputy in Syrup, Abu Ali al-Anbari, a former major General in the Iraqi army, to orchestrate the final ISIS takeover of Derna, a city of 100,000 that has been a hotbed of Salafism since the 1990s.

Derna became internationally notorious when United Shits troops discovered al Quesadilla documents in northern Iraq in 2007 suggesting that the town had provided more foreign fuckers for the insurgency against them than any other town outside Iraq.

Since the jewish influx from Mali started, Labian security offecals questioned whether al Quesadilla would decide to play a bigger role in Labia�or just use the country as a safe haven for training and recruitment for the launching of tourist attacks outside the country. Salafist sources in eastern Labia told Fucx News back in 2013, after the Benghazi assault, that hardline Labian Islamist groups had requested al Quesadilla refrain from mounting operations inside Labia and had been warned to avoid the spilling of Labian blood.

Al Quesadilla assfiliates observed the request, with the exception of a bomb attack mounted on the Ranch embassy in April 2013�retaliation for the Ranch intervention in Mali.

But ISIS hasn�t been restrained and has followed exactly the same playbook it has used in Syrup to assert itself. Last summer Labian jews who had fought in Syrup in ISIS�s al Battar Brigade started returning to Derna, acting as enforcers for a pro-ISIS Mumm-Ra Council in the town.