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The Alchemist
Dec 12, 2010

Prokhor Zakharov posted:

I got in a shouting match with some rear end in a top hat, turned to walk away and the dude just shoves me to the ground really hard. that wouldn't have been bad except my head bounced off the sidewalk and cut my scalp. I turned over and he was stomping towards me with his fists balled up so I cocked my leg back and smashed it into his nuts as hard as I could as he got over me. he didn't even yell just made a silent scream face with a weird eeking sound and fell over grabbing his junk. I got up and one of my friends helped me wander off to a bathroom cause I was bleeding all over my ear and the side of my neck. I found out the next day that I had kicked him so hard one of his testicles had burst and he was in the hospital getting nutsack surgery to fix it, I'd feel bad but he was a serious rear end in a top hat and I got a nasty concussion (no staples or stitches though) so gently caress 'em.

Why did I recreate this scene with Beavis and Butthead in my mind?

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Smiling Mandrill
Jan 19, 2015

Inside of a boxing ring I was in 25. Won 21 (18KOs) lost 3 by decision, and I got KTFO once. Never been in a street fight, and all the street fights I've ever seen have been pretty lame.

haris pilton
Sep 4, 2014
I've had my fair share of fights.
I never lost a fight.
It's because I always throw the first punch and don't fight 'fair'
I kick, scream, pull hair and bite.
And when my opponents see their own blood, they always freak out and start crying.













I only fight children younger than 12 years.

Medieval Medic
Sep 8, 2011
I was always bullied as a kid and teen. I am also quite a bit taller and bigger than the national average. So the answer is yes. I never actually beat anyone down back then because I only reserve that for when I really feel in grave danger, but I did subdue and humiliate them until we get pulled apart.

As an adult however, I do have a shortish fuse because of the previously mentioned bullying, but I've only gotten in two fights. First one was me and my dad vs some other dude and his dad. I actually barely participated in this because my dad just went ape on the other dude and beat him pretty badly while I just held the other dudes dad at the lenght of my arm because he was a tiny old dude. Second time I broke some dude's nose but he broke my tooth. He definitly came out worse than me and pretty much could no longer fight, but it probably cost me more to fix my tooth than him his nose, so it is up to other people to determine if I won or lost that one.

Sound
Oct 18, 2004


Bunch a fights growing up, I was a white kid from Australia going to school in an urban school ie me and like four other white kids. Had to fight a bit to make friends and fit in.

High school freshman I got punched in the head while sitting down by a roided out senior football player. I stood up and we kinda wrestled around, he pushed me into a table and I looked at this girl who looked all scared and I just smiled and said 'oh hey how's it going' before getting tossed into another table. I grabbed a chair just as a couple teachers grabbed the other guy so I just laughed a bit. We were cool after this so idk.

Junior year after a wrestling meet we had a group and our 'rival' school had a group. Everyone said they were down to fight if someone would start it so I was like 'gently caress yea I will lets go.' I walk over and start talking poo poo, their bigass black running back steps up and is like 'talk poo poo to me motherfucker' so I just look at him a sec then crack him in the face. Apparently no one had followed me over and I was quickly fighting like ten ppl at once. A lineman punched me from the side and a stumbled but as I was standing I unloaded a freaking monster punch and put some kids nose bone through his eye or something. Got my rear end kicked pretty good but stayed on my feet. Only one friend jumped in to help and he was on crutches, but I will love him forever for trying while others watched.

My first MMA fight I was 205 fighting a guy who was like 350+. I hosed his face up and he would grab me and throw me down and kinda lay on me. Finally swept him to where I was on top and the ref made us move to the center of the ring. I knew as soon as he said 'fight' I was gonna try to act first and I totally hosed dudes eye up because he wasn't ready. I won.

Bunch of stupid bar fights etc, just having fun kinda stuff.

6-0 in MMA, won a lot by strikes/ko/ref stoppage. Really fun stuff IMO.

0-1 pro kickboxing. Weighed 185 vs a guy at 255, he was the strength coach for OU and his one loss was to a former world champion. I tried to leg kick him as hard as he could and he just checked them like it was nothing. Hit me a couple times to the body and then dropped me to a knee with a hook to the jaw. I just stayed down, collected my cash, and hit the strip club. Not worth brain damage when they originally told me he was 3-0 and 205.

I like fighting and would do it more in the street if I wasn't worried about being stabbed/shot. Nothing wrong with a good scuffle though.

Cat Hassler
Feb 7, 2006

Slippery Tilde
Ahh haaa. In 7th grade math class I started picking on the kid who sat in front of me. One day he'd finally had enough and turned around and slapped me. I didn't do anything but I was all pissed and stewing about it. The next day in class I said, "Yeah, that was really funny when you slapped me. But here's the punch line" and hit him in the face. We were supposed to fight after school but we both chickened out.

A Wizard of Goatse
Dec 14, 2014

Keith Atherton posted:

Ahh haaa. In 7th grade math class I started picking on the kid who sat in front of me. One day he'd finally had enough and turned around and slapped me. I didn't do anything but I was all pissed and stewing about it. The next day in class I said, "Yeah, that was really funny when you slapped me. But here's the punch line" and hit him in the face. We were supposed to fight after school but we both chickened out.

you spent all day thinking up that comeback and it was worth it

Prokhor Zakharov
Dec 31, 2008

This is me as I make another great post


Good luck with your depression!

The Alchemist posted:

Why did I recreate this scene with Beavis and Butthead in my mind?

you're not far off in all honesty

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc
Long story short, I killed the guy and ate his corpse

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ColtMcAsskick
Nov 7, 2010
I got punched in the jaw while competing to get the ball in a basketball game. The guy just straight up smacked me in full view of everyone. It was so audacious and unexpected that I didn't retaliate because I was busy trying to figure out why half my face hurt. He got removed from the game as a result, so I guess I won the fight?

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