- Maniac Pahis
- Nov 3, 2010
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by Ralp
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Smb going down forever
Nbd he's poo poo anyway
RATED ONE
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Mar 3, 2015 10:26
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Apr 26, 2024 04:41
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- Mumpy Puffinz
- Aug 11, 2008
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Nap Ghost
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I'll never watch cricket again.
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Mar 7, 2015 01:38
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- Fat Lowtax
- Nov 9, 2008
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"I'm willing to pay up to $1200 for a big anime titty"
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quote:Never start an article with “I told you so”. At least that’s what “The Guardian” said to me when I first started writing “The Secret Footballer” columns for the paper.
Eighteen months ago, I wrote an article about Sunderland in which I said: “There are problems at Sunderland – big problems. They have too many players who do not have enough respect for the game. It is no secret in football circles that there is a drinking culture at Sunderland that extends right through the core of the team.”
I was hammered by Sunderland fans for that article but it’s absolutely true. To this day, I still get weekly pictures of the Sunderland players out and about on the piss. And I also get the stories that go with those pictures.
Adam Johnson, the England and Sunderland winger, was arrested on Monday on suspicion of sexual activity with a girl under 16. He was immediately suspended by his club.
I rang a friend who used to play with Johnson and the first thing he said to me, before he’d even said “hello”, was: “It was only a matter of time, wasn’t it?” He didn’t say that in relation to the accusation that Johnson had had sexual activity with an underage girl, he said it because we both know that the players at Sunderland are renowned in the game for their nocturnal activities.
Regardless of whether or not the Johnson allegation turns out be true, the frequency of the nights out on Wearside from certain Sunderland players was always going to snag one of them.
“They were out again at the weekend,” my friend said. “At the end of the night, they took birds back to ******’s house but he’d gone back first so was in the middle of it with his one. The others had to go a hotel.”
It happens most weekends, with a little hardcore group of players that are occasionally joined by other members of the squad.
But the allegation against Johnson is just that at this stage, an allegation. It is also worth pointing out that the 15-year-old girl in question was said to be boasting about their alleged “relationship” to her friends and on social media.
The defence of Johnson, 27, by the mother of his girlfriend, Stacey Flounders, has been robust. “They are still very close and are absolutely still together,” she said. “He is 100 per cent innocent and we will stand by him. He hasn’t been found guilty of anything. He is a great lad and has not done anything wrong. This is a horrible situation.”
Over the years, I have seen a lot of this sort of thing squashed in the womb, if that’s the turn of phrase I’m after. There have been accusations against players at every club that I’ve played; sometimes they’re true but very often they’re complete and utter ****.
For Johnson’s sake and everybody involved, I hope this falls into the latter category. I hope this is a girl who has made up a story up for attention; I hope that a claim reported by the media that Johnson had posed in pictures with the girl, if true, served as the starting point for her to fabricate a relationship.
That’s what I hope. But that may not be the truth of it. However, at this stage of an ongoing police investigation, nobody really knows for sure.
On Friday, my friend called again and, this time, he picked up the conversation with the air of a man who has seen everything in football and, as a result, would not be in the least bit surprised if this allegation turned out to be true.
“Mate,” he began, “I just heard from a mate who’s spoken to his missus. Apparently, he’s retreated to a dark place, not talking to anyone. Listen, I don’t think he’s ever gonna play football again.”
I pressed him a little and asked what had been said that made him so sure, pointing out that the family were being publicly supportive. “Yeah, they were,” he said, “but that was on Monday. It’s Friday today. I asked my mate what the latest is and he just said: ‘he’s f*****’.”
The amount of negative stories that I hear coming out of Sunderland always outweighs anything coming out of almost any other Premier League club. Sometimes they make the Press, in a lot of cases they don’t. Something seems to happen to players when they move to the Stadium of Light.
In the meantime, all we can do is wait for the outcome of the Johnson investigation and the inevitability of another negative headline to come out of Sunderland AFC concerning another of their players. Unless, of course, this most unsavoury of incidents can serve as a wake-up call to the squad. I won’t hold my breath.
Not that there is any sympathy from those involved in football when these stories come along. In fact, quite the opposite, which most of the time is a bit rich to be honest. We’re not all saints, and we’re definitely a target in certain quarters, but we’re also capable of doing some bloody stupid things at times
“Mate, you know they found a loaded gun in his [Johnson's] house, don’t ya?” my friend said. “Cops took it away, though, and all his cars for forensics. Poor f***** can’t even shoot himself.” At which point, he burst out laughing.
It would appear that the “loaded gun” was, in fact, a blank firing pistol that does not require a licence to own … but still.
Welcome to the dark, dark humour of English football, where nothing, it seems, is off limits.
Which one of you horrible cunts is the secret footballer
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Mar 8, 2015 18:58
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Apr 26, 2024 04:41
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Mar 3, 2015 10:26
