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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Hardcore porn is very much like being cucked.

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Funky See Funky Do: Aug 20, 2013; STILL TRYING HARD

Agreed OP. That's why all I'll watch now is stuff I shot myself at the local swimming pool.

# ? Mar 15, 2015 06:27

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 12:17

somethingawful bf: Jun 17, 2005

gnarlyhotep posted:

maytbe so

:cheers:

# ? Mar 15, 2015 06:27

a misanthrope: Jun 21, 2010

HoAssHo posted:

Hey, by the way, whatever happened to Trixie Hardcore?

yes please someone tell the story or post a link or something. i heard rumors but missed the drama

# ? Mar 15, 2015 06:29

RaySmuckles: Oct 14, 2009; Grimey Drawer

HoAssHo posted:

I am a woman and am only interested in lesbian porn or solo girl stuff. So yeah, pretty homosexual.

Ah, but what about putting things in your rear end as well? Hmm? The crux of Poetic Justice's argument, the moment he leaves his self styled assuredness ("more than likely") and delves into the chaotic dimension of probability.

Thus, it has been stated that you are more than likely a homosexual, a fact to which you have shamelessly pled guilty, so I ask you, here, now: "Do you also put things in your rear end?"

# ? Mar 15, 2015 06:29

somethingawful bf: Jun 17, 2005

A misanthrope posted:

yes please someone tell the story or post a link or something. i heard rumors but missed the drama

she got married

# ? Mar 15, 2015 06:30

somethingawful bf: Jun 17, 2005

RaySmuckles posted:

Ah, but what about putting things in your rear end as well? Hmm? The crux of Poetic Justice's argument, the moment he leaves his self styled assuredness ("more than likely") and delves into the chaotic dimension of probability.

Thus, it has been stated that you are more than likely a homosexual, a fact to which you have shamelessly pled guilty, so I ask you, here, now: "Do you also put things in your rear end?"

i love you

# ? Mar 15, 2015 06:30

cams: Mar 28, 2003

does anybody in here get off on that porn where the girl tells you you're a loser with a tiny cock?

# ? Mar 15, 2015 06:33

NutritiousSnack: Jul 12, 2011

Cucking is oldhat now, the new poo poo is pegging.

# ? Mar 15, 2015 06:33

somethingawful bf: Jun 17, 2005

cams posted:

does anybody in here get off on that porn where the girl tells you you're a loser with a tiny cock?

i don't buy into that feminist narrative

# ? Mar 15, 2015 06:34

Gatekeeper: Aug 3, 2003; He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

i like porn where they don't even acknowledge the camera, just a nice romantic dude and a pretty lady in a very fancy bedroom having really sweet and passionate sex. i also like watching really pretty transsexuals blow and then gently caress each other and call each other mean names. depends on my mood, i guess. i saw this really cool porn where this very pretty transsexual jerked off and cumshotted her own face, it was extremely cool. i don't think it would have been as cool if it was just an average dude jerking off onto his own face, but a really pretty long haired big boobed guy cumming into his own mouth is very cool.

and cucking is kinda played, op. it was good for a laugh a little while back but i think we've all kind of collectively moved past it. maybe this is a good thread to suggest better alternatives to cuck? like pegging, maybe? that seems much cooler irl than cucking anyway.

# ? Mar 15, 2015 06:39

The Protagonist: Jun 29, 2009; The average is 5.5? I thought it was 4. This is very unsettling.

my favorite is when the doe-eyed redhead talks you through a rigourous session of self stimulation but makes you edge for way longer than you normally would and then you bust and you're like whoa i never masterbuated porbperly before

i wihs i ciould fund that video agein

# ? Mar 15, 2015 06:42

somethingawful bf: Jun 17, 2005

The Protagonist posted:

my favorite is when the doe-eyed redhead talks you through a rigourous session of self stimulation but makes you edge for way longer than you normally would and then you bust and you're like whoa i never masterbuated porbperly before

i wihs i ciould fund that video agein

fund or find? cuz i have the link . . .

# ? Mar 15, 2015 06:43

Mumpy Puffinz: Aug 11, 2008; Nap Ghost

Poetic Justice posted:

fund or find? cuz i have the link . . .

why can't it be both?

# ? Mar 15, 2015 06:44

The Protagonist: Jun 29, 2009; The average is 5.5? I thought it was 4. This is very unsettling.

FIND don't teas eme yo

# ? Mar 15, 2015 06:44

somethingawful bf: Jun 17, 2005

well, she's not doe eyed, or a redhead either, but here you go :nws:

:nws:

http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=1982347308 :nws:

:nws:

# ? Mar 15, 2015 06:44

cams: Mar 28, 2003

yeah i like joi stuff

but it's always awkward when they feel the need to mime stroking a cock

it's like, i'm doing the work here. you look silly. just keep saying things and posing seductively

# ? Mar 15, 2015 06:44

The Protagonist: Jun 29, 2009; The average is 5.5? I thought it was 4. This is very unsettling.

Poetic Justice posted:

well, she's not doe eyed, or a redhead either, but here you go [NSFW] http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=1982347308 [/NSFW]

this aint it goddamn this aint it at all

# ? Mar 15, 2015 06:45

somethingawful bf: Jun 17, 2005

The Protagonist posted:

this aint it goddamn this aint it at all

sure it is, you were probably just drunk . . . .

# ? Mar 15, 2015 06:46

HoAssHo: Mar 10, 2005

RaySmuckles posted:

Ah, but what about putting things in your rear end as well? Hmm? The crux of Poetic Justice's argument, the moment he leaves his self styled assuredness ("more than likely") and delves into the chaotic dimension of probability.

Thus, it has been stated that you are more than likely a homosexual, a fact to which you have shamelessly pled guilty, so I ask you, here, now: "Do you also put things in your rear end?"

Jesus Gunky Junket, how many alts do you have?

(no)

Poetic Justice posted:

she got married

Right, but why would that suddenly keep her from posting about her pussy constantly?

# ? Mar 15, 2015 06:48

Jerry Steinfeld: Dec 25, 2012

Not_Rainbow_Horse posted:

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# ? Mar 15, 2015 06:49

somethingawful bf: Jun 17, 2005

HoAssHo posted:

Jesus Gunky Junket, how many alts do you have?

(no)

Right, but why would that suddenly keep her from posting about her pussy constantly?

when you get married, your private parts become the sole property of your spouse

# ? Mar 15, 2015 06:49

Waltzing Along: Jun 14, 2008; There's only one
Human race
Many faces
Everybody belongs here

why are you watching men in porn op?
sounds pretty gay.

# ? Mar 15, 2015 06:50

Mumpy Puffinz: Aug 11, 2008; Nap Ghost

Waltzing Along posted:

why are you watching men in porn op?
sounds pretty gay.

big dick porn best porn

# ? Mar 15, 2015 07:18

whoflungpoop: Sep 9, 2004; With you and the constellations

Mumpy Puffinz posted:

big dick porn best porn

small dicks, flat tits, butt zits

# ? Mar 15, 2015 07:31

Mumpy Puffinz: Aug 11, 2008; Nap Ghost

whoflungpoop posted:

small dicks, flat tits, butt zits

why do you punish yourself darling?

# ? Mar 15, 2015 07:32

toggle: Nov 7, 2005

cams posted:

yeah i like joi stuff

but it's always awkward when they feel the need to mime stroking a cock

it's like, i'm doing the work here. you look silly. just keep saying things and posing seductively

:nws:

http://www.xvideos.com/video1792639/are_you_ready_for_a_stroking_lesson_-_lets_play_traffic_lights_game_-_jerk_off_instructions_with_cou :nws:

:nws:

lmao

# ? Mar 15, 2015 07:42

Mumpy Puffinz: Aug 11, 2008; Nap Ghost

toggle posted:

http://www.xvideos.com/video1792639/are_you_ready_for_a_stroking_lesson_-_lets_play_traffic_lights_game_-_jerk_off_instructions_with_cou

lmao

I asked her not you.

# ? Mar 15, 2015 07:44

A CISHET SHITLORD: Sep 10, 2014; LOURDE OF THE SHITS; Pillbug

I like feets

# ? Mar 15, 2015 08:08

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

You're supposed to imagine you're the dude that's banging her, jesus christ you nerds overthink this poo poo.

The dude only comes into the scene at the part where it's totally necessary for there to be a dude there because otherwise there's no actual banging.

# ? Mar 15, 2015 08:53

Mumpy Puffinz: Aug 11, 2008; Nap Ghost

FIRST TIME posted:

You're supposed to imagine you're the dude that's banging her, jesus christ you nerds overthink this poo poo.

yup

# ? Mar 15, 2015 08:55

HEY VAPER: May 15, 2014; by XyloJW

:nws:

i think i finally understand JOI videos

# ? Mar 15, 2015 09:10

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

Taking this opportunity to express my hate for that stupid pop under ad where the chick's like "Hey! Hey you!" through my computer speakers.

Get out of my life already.

# ? Mar 15, 2015 10:03

opus111: Jul 6, 2014

HoAssHo posted:

Hey, by the way, whatever happened to Trixie Hardcore?

Cause I feel like I'm acting like Trixie Hardcore in this thread and I'm not happy about it and it would be cool if she could step in and take over right about now.

Probably died on a Thai operating table.

# ? Mar 15, 2015 10:25

opus111: Jul 6, 2014

whoflungpoop posted:

small dicks, flat tits, butt zits

Agreed, JAV owns

# ? Mar 15, 2015 10:26

DONKEY SALAMI: Jun 28, 2008; donkey? donkey?

I always figured monster dongs, ocular tittays and vaginas directed by john woo were porn customer service. So the viewer could sit back and still see the main parts

The one porn I liked was this slob guy that'd eat like a can of cream corn resting on girl's rear end as he did his business

# ? Mar 15, 2015 10:58

HEY VAPER: May 15, 2014; by XyloJW

donkey salami posted:

I always figured monster dongs, ocular tittays and vaginas directed by john woo were porn customer service. So the viewer could sit back and still see the main parts

The one porn I liked was this slob guy that'd eat like a can of cream corn resting on girl's rear end as he did his business

the minion, hello old friend
http://imgur.com/VqGxzSJ

# ? Mar 15, 2015 12:24

Owlbear Camus: Jan 3, 2013; Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?

FIRST TIME posted:

You're supposed to imagine you're the dude that's banging her, jesus christ you nerds overthink this poo poo.

:agreed:

you have a protagonist you identify with doing the fantasy stuff you'll never get to do whether its fighting nazis with a whip or thwarting invading space aliens or solving a murder mystery or consentual heterosexual sex, what's so hard to get about that?

FIRST TIME posted:

Taking this opportunity to express my hate for that stupid pop under ad where the chick's like "Hey! Hey you!" through my computer speakers.

Get out of my life already.

CHAT LINK ACTIVE
<WantonMilf69> hi I am in (thecityyouripappearsfrom$) want to making sex.
<WantonMilf69> I am most horny. Hello?
<WantonMilf69> hello don't ignore me
<WantonMilf69> respond and sexy or ill kill myself

Owlbear Camus fucked around with this message at 12:33 on Mar 15, 2015

# ? Mar 15, 2015 12:29

bradzilla: Oct 15, 2004

The Protagonist posted:

this aint it goddamn this aint it at all

:nws:

http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=1536033807 :nws:

:nws:

literally the first result for joi readhead

enjoy

# ? Mar 15, 2015 13:04

Medieval Medic: Sep 8, 2011

Otisburg posted:

CHAT LINK ACTIVE
<WantonMilf69> hi I am in (thecityyouripappearsfrom$) want to making sex.
<WantonMilf69> I am most horny. Hello?
<WantonMilf69> hello don't ignore me
<WantonMilf69> ~~respond and sexy or ill kill myself~~ oh so you are of a gay

# ? Mar 15, 2015 13:08

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 12:17

Inexplicable Humblebrag: Sep 20, 2003

bradzilla posted:

http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=1536033807

literally the first result for joi readhead

enjoy

what does joi stand for

im guessing "jack off intimidation"

# ? Mar 15, 2015 13:24

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Hardcore porn is very much like being cucked.

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