Minimal effort you should go through to return something you find

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Minimal effort you should go through to return something you find

Three Olives: Apr 10, 2005; What if Hitler invented the BMW i3 Subcompact Electric car?

So a few months ago I found an Android phone on the street, I called AT&T and they were like we can't help you call the police. I called the police and they were like whatever, you can flag down a cop and give it to them or drop it by the police station but we don't give a gently caress. So then I looked the phone up online to see about looking for the owner on Craigslist or whatever and found out it cost $30 new on prepaid so I just said gently caress it and threw it in my junk drawer, I wouldn't go out of my way to retrieve a $30 phone that you can get at Walgreens and they obviously don't live in my neighborhood.

Then yesterday I found a brand new $100 bill on the street outside of the Walmart. I asked the customer service lady if anyone had been looking for money they dropped and she as like "Uh, no, I don't give a poo poo." so I walked to my ATM and put it in.

But now I feel kind of guilty, $10, who gives a poo poo, maybe even $20, but $100 is like real money, you can pay a bar tab with that. Should I just enjoy my new windfall or do I report it to someone?

# ? Mar 26, 2015 18:23

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 18:51

Whirlwind Jones: Apr 13, 2013; by Lowtax

die fag

# ? Mar 26, 2015 18:23

Dead Gay Romans: Mar 19, 2015; Pitbull enthusiast

None. Literally no effort. Literally.

# ? Mar 26, 2015 18:24

West SAAB Story: Mar 13, 2014; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 250 days!)

man that'll take care of this months dues for the condo in the sky

# ? Mar 26, 2015 18:24

Kaloioannes: Oct 9, 2014

I once found a lonely orphan on the side of the street, and I was all, "Eh is this your orphan? K I'll take it" and then I put it in the trunk of my car.

# ? Mar 26, 2015 18:25

a hole-y ghost: May 10, 2010

Three Olives posted:

Then yesterday I found a brand new $100 bill on the street outside of the Walmart. I asked the customer service lady if anyone had been looking for money they dropped and she as like "Uh, no, I don't give a poo poo." so I walked to my ATM and put it in.

That's my $100 please return it to me ASAP.

# ? Mar 26, 2015 18:26

Ancient Mariner: Jan 14, 2015; by Lowtax

Whirlwind Jones posted:

die fag

suck my dick, bitch

# ? Mar 26, 2015 18:26

West SAAB Story: Mar 13, 2014; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 250 days!)

what the hell this is like half an eaten sandwich on the ground. sure its covered in ants and dirt but hell this was a good sammich. all it needs is a little dusting off.

<<places into fanny pack for later>>

oh look, some chewed gum! I bet it has flavor left!

# ? Mar 26, 2015 18:28

Three Olives: Apr 10, 2005; What if Hitler invented the BMW i3 Subcompact Electric car?

West SAAB Story posted:

man that'll take care of this months dues for the condo in the sky

Not even close but in the interest of Three Olives Condo here is an insane letter I got from one of my neighbors this morning, thanks for reading this thread that had nothing to do with condos:

Letter posted:

I am writing those pet committee members who were present at last night's meeting, plus the other committee non-dog owner, after giving more thought to addressing my dissenting expression about allowing dogs in the fire pit or other hard surface areas of the courtyard, even on a leash.

First, I do not ever remember having an unpleasant encounter with any of you or the other committee members and their dogs. In my experience you have each exhibited responsibility and thoughtfulness in dealing with your dogs in the common areas. Therefore, it is probably difficult for you to relate to my complaints. The problem/challenge is other owners (a half dozen or so) who behave differently.

Since I am one of the two non-dog owners on the committee, let me define again my dog experience, especially in the confines of <building>, and ask for suggestions as to how to deal with these situations, both personally and as a committee.

First, I will re-state that I do not hate dogs. In fact, I had a dog for about 10 years as a child, and my children had a dog, also. Both dogs were always kept outside, and I played with them extensively in that environment and in appropriate clothes.

Here are personal experiences I've dealt with many times within <building>:

* A dog on our floor (no longer here) taken off leash getting off the elevator and jumping all over me if I were in the hall.

* A dog riding the passenger elevators on leash but left on the floor instead of being carried. The owner allows latitude with the leash so the dog has leverage to lick my shoes and jump on my clothes, sniffing everywhere and leaving wet nose marks on good clothes as I am leaving the building.

* A dog riding the passenger elevators on leash and being carried but allowed to lean out to me, encouraged by the owner moving the dog within reach, to do the same things as described above.

* A dog on its way to the front door but on leash on the floor in the first floor hallway doing the same things, especially when the owner stops to talk to someone in the hall and pays no attention to what the dog is doing.

In addition, in the environs:

* A dog being walked through the lobby (a violation of rules), peeing as she goes.

* Same as above but in the passenger elevator; same dog, several times.

* Dog excrement and dog pee in a passenger elevator with no dog or owner present. (Dogs pee in a puddle in the corner; swimmers do not drip in a puddle in the corner.)

* Large excrement in the courtyard previously and in the new dog area recently. The former is the reason we have never used the courtyard in 11 1/2 years. The latter is of no personal concern but is another example of some owners ignoring rules.

* A dog on leash in the mailbox area, not being controlled, and in the narrow space of that hallway.

* Seeing people in the courtyard with their dogs off-leash before the renovation.

Believe me, I am not on dog patrol. In fact, I try to avoid contact so as not to be in an uncomfortable situation. I only ride the freight elevator if I have a cart and, therefore, must do so. If I see a clear violation of the rules (e.g., walking a dog through the lobby), I usually report it to Sharon.

The dilemma for me has always been how to deal with situations I described above where the owner imposes the pet on me. I do not want to ask them to please keep their dog off of me, especially when it seems so obvious to me that's what they should be thinking to do.

So, when the subject of allowing dogs with owners in the fire pit and other hard surface areas of the courtyard was raised, I immediately had a flash of this being another situation where inconsiderate owners can allow some or all of the above interferences to occur. Then, my choices will be to say something (which I really don't want to do) or leave the area (which I shouldn't have to do).

I would appreciate any suggestions as to how to deal with these unfortunate situations on a personal basis where a rule is not broken (I have no hesitancy to report rule violations) but the situation shows lack of consideration for others in the surroundings. Also, what do you think about including in the next communication discussed some suggestions of how to be considerate of others when out with your pet?

Thanks,

# ? Mar 26, 2015 18:30

how me a frog: Feb 6, 2014

Legally you have to make more of an effort but the odds of getting literal money back to its owner are basically nil so whatever.

# ? Mar 26, 2015 18:30

psyopmonkey: Nov 15, 2008; by Lowtax

Whirlwind Jones posted:

die fag

Try harder breeder.

ThreeO... return the phone. Low income people sometimes rely on those prepaid phones. Run the number on Spokeo and see who pops up. Unlock the phone and call some of the contacts.

# ? Mar 26, 2015 18:30

Three Olives: Apr 10, 2005; What if Hitler invented the BMW i3 Subcompact Electric car?

West SAAB Story posted:

what the hell this is like half an eaten sandwich on the ground. sure its covered in ants and dirt but hell this was a good sammich. all it needs is a little dusting off.

<<places into fanny pack for later>>

oh look, some chewed gum! I bet it has flavor left!

One thing that I keep wanting to do is get like a nice sandwich down the street or some take out completely untouched and leave it on the sidewalk and see how long it takes someone to decide to eat is, preferably not homeless.

So I guess the secondary question is if you found strange food on the street but it looked completely untouched would you eat it? Would you feel guilty?

# ? Mar 26, 2015 18:32

Three Olives: Apr 10, 2005; What if Hitler invented the BMW i3 Subcompact Electric car?

psyopmonkey posted:

Try harder breeder.

ThreeO... return the phone. Low income people sometimes rely on those prepaid phones. Run the number on Spokeo and see who pops up. Unlock the phone and call some of the contacts.

I tried it was locked and shockingly the swipe code wasn't the kind of easy obvious one you would expect for someone using a cheap prepaid phone. I even tried putting the SIM card in another phone to see if there were any stored numbers, no luck.

# ? Mar 26, 2015 18:33

psyopmonkey: Nov 15, 2008; by Lowtax

Three Olives posted:

I tried it was locked and shockingly the swipe code wasn't the kind of easy obvious one you would expect for someone using a cheap prepaid phone.

Pop out the SD and see if there is any personal data.

# ? Mar 26, 2015 18:35

Three Olives: Apr 10, 2005; What if Hitler invented the BMW i3 Subcompact Electric car?

Also post interesting things you have found on the street ITT.

My neighborhood is one of the oldest in the city and decades ago they paved over the old brick roads, a few months ago they were digging new drainage under the old brick road and I found a rusty horse shoe on the street back from when the streets were used by horses and not cars. I kept it, I figure the horse and it's owner are long dead so free horse shoe.

# ? Mar 26, 2015 18:37

Lord Frankenstyle: Dec 3, 2005; Mmmm,
You smell like Lysol Wipes.

Pfft. Stooping down to pick up filthy discarded garbage money like some methed out syphilitic trailer park whore looking for an easy payday.

If you're having trouble making ends meet could have just come to us for a loan, instead of debasing yourself in public like that.

# ? Mar 26, 2015 18:54

Lil Swamp Booger Baby: Aug 1, 1981

Return your poo poo besodden rear end in a top hat to the lowest level of hell where Satan is forever entrapped in a tomb of Natty Ice while guzzling primo Judas cum.

# ? Mar 26, 2015 18:55

Ocean Book: Sep 27, 2010; - hi

i found three olives basic human dignity in a gutter

# ? Mar 26, 2015 18:56

Xinlum: Apr 12, 2009; Merry Christmas to all, and to all a Dark Knight

Op that was my horseshoe. Give it back. I left it there for a reason.

# ? Mar 26, 2015 18:57

psyopmonkey: Nov 15, 2008; by Lowtax

Ocean Book posted:

i found three olives basic human dignity in a gutter

That was his anal virginity.

His dignity is already at the dump.

# ? Mar 26, 2015 18:58

Jerry Mumphrey: Mar 11, 2004; by zen death robot
(and can't post for 4 years!)

why do people in your condo building want to put their dogs in the fire pit? surely there is a more humane way of destroying them

# ? Mar 26, 2015 18:59

Orkin Mang: Nov 1, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

i once found a bug on my driveway that looked like a hotdog dragging a bun

# ? Mar 26, 2015 18:59

Ocean Book: Sep 27, 2010; - hi

Orkin Mang posted:

i once found a bug on my driveway that looked like a hotdog dragging a bun

please return to me promptly

# ? Mar 26, 2015 19:01

IzzyFnStradlin: Jun 19, 2004

Three Olives posted:

So a few months ago I found an Android phone on the street, I called AT&T and they were like we can't help you call the police. I called the police and they were like whatever, you can flag down a cop and give it to them or drop it by the police station but we don't give a gently caress. So then I looked the phone up online to see about looking for the owner on Craigslist or whatever and found out it cost $30 new on prepaid so I just said gently caress it and threw it in my junk drawer, I wouldn't go out of my way to retrieve a $30 phone that you can get at Walgreens and they obviously don't live in my neighborhood.

Then yesterday I found a brand new $100 bill on the street outside of the Walmart. I asked the customer service lady if anyone had been looking for money they dropped and she as like "Uh, no, I don't give a poo poo." so I walked to my ATM and put it in.

But now I feel kind of guilty, $10, who gives a poo poo, maybe even $20, but $100 is like real money, you can pay a bar tab with that. Should I just enjoy my new windfall or do I report it to someone?

it's 2pm on a thursday - shouldn't you be working? ie, earning money to pay for your extravagant urban condo yuppie lifestyle?

# ? Mar 26, 2015 19:01

Chamale: Jul 11, 2010; I'm helping!

OP, I dropped $100 on the ground recently, near a condo with a swimming pool full of annoying children. Please return it to me, thanks.

# ? Mar 26, 2015 19:05

SuperMechagodzilla: Jun 9, 2007; NEWT REBORN

Three Olives posted:

Not even close but in the interest of Three Olives Condo here is an insane letter I got from one of my neighbors this morning, thanks for reading this thread that had nothing to do with condos:

Letter posted:
I am writing those pet committee members who were present at last night's meeting, plus the other committee non-dog owner, after giving more thought to addressing my dissenting expression about allowing dogs in the fire pit or other hard surface areas of the courtyard, even on a leash.

First, I do not ever remember having an unpleasant encounter with any of you or the other committee members and their dogs. In my experience you have each exhibited responsibility and thoughtfulness in dealing with your dogs in the common areas. Therefore, it is probably difficult for you to relate to my complaints. The problem/challenge is other owners (a half dozen or so) who behave differently.

Since I am one of the two non-dog owners on the committee, let me define again my dog experience, especially in the confines of <building>, and ask for suggestions as to how to deal with these situations, both personally and as a committee.

First, I will re-state that I do not hate dogs. In fact, I had a dog for about 10 years as a child, and my children had a dog, also. Both dogs were always kept outside, and I played with them extensively in that environment and in appropriate clothes.

Here are personal experiences I've dealt with many times within <building>:

* A dog on our floor (no longer here) taken off leash getting off the elevator and jumping all over me if I were in the hall.

* A dog riding the passenger elevators on leash but left on the floor instead of being carried. The owner allows latitude with the leash so the dog has leverage to lick my shoes and jump on my clothes, sniffing everywhere and leaving wet nose marks on good clothes as I am leaving the building.

* A dog riding the passenger elevators on leash and being carried but allowed to lean out to me, encouraged by the owner moving the dog within reach, to do the same things as described above.

* A dog on its way to the front door but on leash on the floor in the first floor hallway doing the same things, especially when the owner stops to talk to someone in the hall and pays no attention to what the dog is doing.

In addition, in the environs:

* A dog being walked through the lobby (a violation of rules), peeing as she goes.

* Same as above but in the passenger elevator; same dog, several times.

* Dog excrement and dog pee in a passenger elevator with no dog or owner present. (Dogs pee in a puddle in the corner; swimmers do not drip in a puddle in the corner.)

* Large excrement in the courtyard previously and in the new dog area recently. The former is the reason we have never used the courtyard in 11 1/2 years. The latter is of no personal concern but is another example of some owners ignoring rules.

* A dog on leash in the mailbox area, not being controlled, and in the narrow space of that hallway.

* Seeing people in the courtyard with their dogs off-leash before the renovation.

Believe me, I am not on dog patrol. In fact, I try to avoid contact so as not to be in an uncomfortable situation. I only ride the freight elevator if I have a cart and, therefore, must do so. If I see a clear violation of the rules (e.g., walking a dog through the lobby), I usually report it to Sharon.

The dilemma for me has always been how to deal with situations I described above where the owner imposes the pet on me. I do not want to ask them to please keep their dog off of me, especially when it seems so obvious to me that's what they should be thinking to do.

So, when the subject of allowing dogs with owners in the fire pit and other hard surface areas of the courtyard was raised, I immediately had a flash of this being another situation where inconsiderate owners can allow some or all of the above interferences to occur. Then, my choices will be to say something (which I really don't want to do) or leave the area (which I shouldn't have to do).

I would appreciate any suggestions as to how to deal with these unfortunate situations on a personal basis where a rule is not broken (I have no hesitancy to report rule violations) but the situation shows lack of consideration for others in the surroundings. Also, what do you think about including in the next communication discussed some suggestions of how to be considerate of others when out with your pet?

Thanks,

Why did you transcribe the entire dog pee letter.

# ? Mar 26, 2015 19:18

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

I dropped a $100 while grocery shopping and someone was nice enough to pick it up and give it back to me but that was like in the span of a few minutes... dropped the bill, went to pay, realized I dropped it, ran back to where I was sure it fell, dude was there going yeah man here you go.

If you drop a $100 in a parking lot ehhhh it's gone don't feel too bad. Maybe let customer service know and leave your number in case someone comes back for it is the most effort you should put into that. I definitely wouldn't leave it with them though because then they'll just take it.

If it's like $1000+ I'd probably take it to the police, if no one claims it after a few months it is legally yours.

That said I found $400 in 20s in a rubber band on the floor of a movie theater when I was working as an usher in high school and I just lol'd and took that poo poo and said nothing.

# ? Mar 26, 2015 20:09

uG: Apr 23, 2003; by Ralp

i drop counterfeit $100 bills so people will try to pass them and get visited by the secret service

# ? Mar 26, 2015 20:11

psyopmonkey: Nov 15, 2008; by Lowtax

Does anyone remember those weird fake 20s that looked like they were were half folded.

But, when you picked it up it was just some poo poo about jesus or god or some lame bullshit.

I dunno, those seemed like a thing before the internet.

:shrug:

# ? Mar 26, 2015 20:13

Three Olives: Apr 10, 2005; What if Hitler invented the BMW i3 Subcompact Electric car?

uG posted:

i drop counterfeit $100 bills so people will try to pass them and get visited by the secret service

That is what I was worried about but it was the new kind of bill and all the security measures seemed in check and the ATM took it and I've had the ATM refused to take some bills that I was sure weren't counterfeit.

Moridin920 posted:

If you drop a $100 in a parking lot ehhhh it's gone don't feel too bad. Maybe let customer service know and leave your number in case someone comes back for it is the most effort you should put into that. I definitely wouldn't leave it with them though because then they'll just take it.

If it's like $1000+ I'd probably take it to the police, if no one claims it after a few months it is legally yours.

It wasn't even in the parking lot, it was on the street next to the Walmart and positioned like it had blown there. If it was like a bag of money sure but how would anyone prove ownership of a single $100 bill in the street? The customer service lady would have pocketed it for sure if I handed it over.

Three Olives fucked around with this message at 20:18 on Mar 26, 2015

# ? Mar 26, 2015 20:16

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 18:51

Bloodfart McCoy: Jul 20, 2007; That's a high quality avatar right there.

If I find someone's wallet with their ID in it and a $100, I'd turn it in or try and find the guy on facebook or whatever. But if I find $100 bill on the ground, that poo poo is mine.

# ? Mar 26, 2015 20:58

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