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Not sure if church members are paying their mandatory 10% of earned income (or allowance money if the member is under 18)? Use this simple life hack of cornering people in hallways, taking their picture and telling them to meet with a bishop right now for an evaluation! For those that protested, I found that the following dialogue worked really great: Me: “Do you have an LDS.org account?” Them: “Yes.” Me: “We’ll take your picture now, and if you don’t like it, just go home and login to your LDS.org account and upload one that you do like.” During your mandatory 10 minutes of morning and evening prayer, do you find yourself distracted by nuances such as house fires and the screams of agony and despair of your family? Try this simple Mormon life hack of drowning out external sound by blasting whitenoise in your ears. Try praying for at least 10 minute (morning and night, of course) with white noise for 7 days. Like I said, you won’t like this at first, but give it at least 7 days. Download THIS MP3 FILE (10 minutes of white noise) to your phone or mp3 player. Be sure to notify others in your home you are doing this. If the house catches on fire, their yelling and screaming won’t alert you. Kneel down, put your headphones on, and start the white noise. Once the track is done you will know that 10 minutes is up and you can close your prayer. Please use this space to post your own favorite Mormon life hacks, like how to filter all the pesky sex and violence and naughty language from Game of Thrones or how to tell if you're possessed by spirits.
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Mar 27, 2015 04:16
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| # ? Apr 23, 2024 17:46 |
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 edit: your first link is hosed Oops! That page can’t be found. It looks like nothing was found at this location. Maybe try our search?
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Mar 27, 2015 04:17
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so like... Mormons, right?
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Mar 27, 2015 04:31
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Here's a Mormon life hack; kill all the natives, almost get driven off cliffs by other slightly less offensive Christians and spend the rest of eternity being barely tolerated as long as you shut the gently caress up except in one state where you run things but nobody cares because nobody wants Utah anyway.
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Mar 27, 2015 04:32
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EvilJoven posted:Here's a Mormon life hack; kill all the natives, almost get driven off cliffs by other slightly less offensive Christians and spend the rest of eternity being barely tolerated as long as you shut the gently caress up except in one state where you run things but nobody cares because nobody wants Utah anyway.  also utah's sports teams are rear end. mormonism is so dumb it makes black people bad at basketball.
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Mar 27, 2015 04:43
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mormons look funny when they ride around on their bikes in their little outfits they also have magic underware I hear, must be so they can ride their bikes without getting all sweaty in their nice clothes
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Jun 22, 2015 23:48
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