ITT you're a copilot who wants to kill himself

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > ITT you're a copilot who wants to kill himself

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Rush Limbo: Sep 5, 2005; its with a full house

*loudly recites the Shahada in the pilot's lounge*

# ? Mar 27, 2015 09:42

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# ? Apr 23, 2024 11:31

Shadoer: Aug 31, 2011; Zoe Quinn is one of many women targeted by the Gamergate harassment campaign.

Support a feminist today!

Jesustheastronaut! posted:

http://www.planecrashinfo.com/lastwords.htm

Judging by these black box recordings, dying in an airplane crash seems p. chill

quote:

"That�s all guys! gently caress!"
- 04 Jul 2001 Vladivostokavia

quote:

"Aaaaaa. Allah Akbar."
- 26 Sep 1997 Garuda Indonesia Airlines

quote:

Goodnight, Goodbye, We Perish!
- 09 May 1987 LOT Polish Airlines

# ? Mar 27, 2015 09:43

RonMexicosPitbull: Feb 28, 2012; by Ralp

*Spreads the good news about how great God is*

# ? Mar 27, 2015 09:49

Kazak_Hstan: Apr 28, 2014; Grimey Drawer

*Pushes forward the control yoke*

# ? Mar 27, 2015 10:13

Minimalist Program: Aug 14, 2010

It sucks that 250 people died because the 1st pilot had to poop so super much he couldn't hold it, and had to leave the rudder to the suicidal teen.

# ? Mar 27, 2015 10:15

Minimalist Program: Aug 14, 2010

quote:

07 Jun 1989 Surinam Airways 764 That's it I'm dead.

edit: lol again:

quote:

FO Oh look, we've got (unintelligible) flame
FO Oh, gosh
?? We've lost a wing
[end of transcript]

edit 2: a transcript of me having sex :twisted:

quote:

09.01:39 CAM 2 I was looking at that inbound there.
09.01:45 CAM 1 Whoop!
09.01:46 CAM 2 Aghhh!
09.01:47 CAM Sound of impact
09.01:48 CAM 1 On poo poo!
09.01:49 CAM-1 Easy baby, easy baby.

quote:

8:22:22 CA Horizon!
8:22:23 F/O Mountains!!!

quote:

A: Screaming F*ckkkkkkkkkkkk.....

Minimalist Program fucked around with this message at 10:25 on Mar 27, 2015

# ? Mar 27, 2015 10:16

Drad_Bert: Jun 26, 2013; by Smythe

Is this how 9/11 happened? :ohdear:

# ? Mar 27, 2015 10:57

Ivor Biggun: Apr 30, 2003; A big "Fuck You!" from the Keyhole nebula; Lipstick Apathy

Jesustheastronaut! posted:

http://www.planecrashinfo.com/lastwords.htm

Judging by these black box recordings, dying in an airplane crash seems p. chill

"There he is .. look at him! Goddamn that son-of-a-bitch is coming! Get off!"

Drad_Bert posted:

Is this how 9/11 happened?

It is exactly how 911 happened. Now run along and play Timmy.

# ? Mar 27, 2015 11:18

Lawrence Gilchrist: Mar 31, 2010

is there an actual strategy behind CNN's visual aid choices that people are too busy laughing at or being confused by to understand

# ? Mar 27, 2015 12:00

social vegan: Nov 7, 2014

JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL y'know if you need a nap or want to go get a snack.

# ? Mar 27, 2015 12:34

ElectricSheep: Jan 14, 2006; she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.

...what's "inverse joystick y-axis" mean?

# ? Mar 27, 2015 12:37

IzzyFnStradlin: Jun 19, 2004

Minimalist Program posted:

It sucks that 250 people died because the 1st pilot had to poop so super much he couldn't hold it, and had to leave the rudder to the suicidal teen.

the fatal poo poo

# ? Mar 27, 2015 12:58

milkingmycow: Mar 28, 2008; by Cyrano4747

I've read all those transcripts. The worst one is where they're flying from Alaska to Hawaii and the plane's control breaks and they're flying upside down for a while before crashing into the ocean. That must have been terrifying.

# ? Mar 27, 2015 13:08

RonMexicosPitbull: Feb 28, 2012; by Ralp

Lawrence Gilchrist posted:

is there an actual strategy behind CNN's visual aid choices that people are too busy laughing at or being confused by to understand

"We dont have great B roll footage we havent already used 100 times. hey Tim fire up that 3d software we bought real quick we go live in 20. "

# ? Mar 27, 2015 13:50

JimsonTheBetrayer: Oct 13, 2010; Game's over, and fuck you Jimson. It's not my fault that you guys couldn't get your shit together by deadline. No one gets access to docs because I don't fucking care anymore, I hope you all enjoyed ruining my game, and there won't be another.

CoPilot:Hey just do me a favor. Next mountain you see just run the loving plane into it.

Pilot: Hahahaha okay buddy whatever you say.

*Mountain passes by*

CoPilot: loving dickhead...

# ? Mar 27, 2015 14:26

oh dope: Nov 2, 2006; No guilt, it feeds in plain sight

hmm I wonder if jet fuel can melt a mountain

# ? Mar 27, 2015 14:52

mgrif: Jun 27, 2005; Bunnee is delightful and haunts my dreams.

*converts to Islam*
*crashes plane*

# ? Mar 27, 2015 15:12

SkyEnzo: Mar 8, 2015; No time for the old in-out, love, I've just come to read the meter.

Jesustheastronaut! posted:

http://www.planecrashinfo.com/lastwords.htm

Judging by these black box recordings, dying in an airplane crash seems p. chill

04 Apr 2010 Polish Air Force Flight 1549 "F*ckkkkkk"

# ? Mar 27, 2015 15:16

Minimalist Program: Aug 14, 2010

SkyEnzo posted:

04 Apr 2010 Polish Air Force Flight 1549 "F*ckkkkkk"

The last word those passengers heard, was a rude one. Perhaps the rudest one in the english language.

# ? Mar 27, 2015 15:18

Sheng-Ji Yang: Mar 5, 2014

SkyEnzo posted:

04 Apr 2010 Polish Air Force Flight 1549 "F*ckkkkkk"

i like the full thing

TAWS:PULL UP, PULL UP.
TAWS:Signal at F=400 Hz. ABSU.
TAWS:PULL UP, PULL UP.
TAWS:Sound of hitting trees.
2P: F*cking hell!
TAWS:PULL UP, PULL
D: Abort to second approach!
A: Screaming F*ckkkkkkkkkkkk.....

# ? Mar 27, 2015 15:20

SkyEnzo: Mar 8, 2015; No time for the old in-out, love, I've just come to read the meter.

July 04, 2001
Near Irkutsk, Russia
Vladivostokavia Airlines, Flight 352
Tupolev TU-154M
RA-85845

02:07:49 CAP gently caress! What are you doing!
02:07:51 CAP Speed!
02:07:52 ?? �
02:07:53 CAP � gently caress, push it up! (throttles)
02:07:53 F/O Stop! Stop! Where! Where!
02:07:55 CAP Stop! Stop! Stop! (said in patter)
02:07:55 NAV This way, this way, this way.
02:07:57 CAP We�re recovering!
02:07:58 NAV Easy, make it easy, easy!
02:07:59 F/O Lets to the right!
02:08:01 -- Audio tone of Radio-altitude alert (duration 4 sec) and audi
02:08:02 ?? Power! Add thrust!
02:08:05 ?? Power!
02:08:06 F/E � got it!
02:08:08 ?? Add thrust!
02:08:09 F/O Take off power! Oh my God!
02:08:10 F/E Take off power set
02:08:11 ?? That�s all guys! gently caress!

# ? Mar 27, 2015 15:30

Han Solomon: Mar 7, 2015; BOUND
AND
GAGGED

SkyEnzo posted:

July 04, 2001
Near Irkutsk, Russia
Vladivostokavia Airlines, Flight 352
Tupolev TU-154M
RA-85845

02:07:49 CAP gently caress! What are you doing!
02:07:51 CAP Speed!
02:07:52 ?? �
02:07:53 CAP � gently caress, push it up! (throttles)
02:07:53 F/O Stop! Stop! Where! Where!
02:07:55 CAP Stop! Stop! Stop! (said in patter)
02:07:55 NAV This way, this way, this way.
02:07:57 CAP We�re recovering!
02:07:58 NAV Easy, make it easy, easy!
02:07:59 F/O Lets to the right!
02:08:01 -- Audio tone of Radio-altitude alert (duration 4 sec) and audi
02:08:02 ?? Power! Add thrust!
02:08:05 ?? Power!
02:08:06 F/E � got it!
02:08:08 ?? Add thrust!
02:08:09 F/O Take off power! Oh my God!
02:08:10 F/E Take off power set
02:08:11 ?? That�s all guys! gently caress!

sound like me in the bedroom lmao

# ? Mar 27, 2015 15:51

Top City Homo: Oct 15, 2014; Ramrod XTreme

Drad_Bert posted:

Is this how 9/11 happened?

if we didn't have an armored cockpit door it would have never happened

9/11 caused this crash

# ? Mar 27, 2015 16:07

Fat-Lip-Sum-41.mp3: Nov 15, 2003

good thing this is an airbus

# ? Mar 27, 2015 16:09

CAPT. Rainbowbeard: Apr 5, 2012; My incredible goodposting transcends time and space but still it cannot transform the xbone into a good console.; Lipstick Apathy

Man, it's a good thing I recently decided to convert to Islam, huh?

# ? Mar 27, 2015 16:14

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# ? Apr 23, 2024 11:31

uG: Apr 23, 2003; by Ralp

sopace shuttle can crash into the ocean but not an airplane

# ? Mar 27, 2015 16:15

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > ITT you're a copilot who wants to kill himself

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