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batmam
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Apr 16, 2015 00:02
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 10:47 |
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A vagina and butthole private detective who only takes the cases of 9/10s and 10/10s. I'll get to the bottom of things and check their stories for holes.
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Apr 16, 2015 00:06
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Large penis detective
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Apr 16, 2015 00:09
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I'll be like Sherlock Holmes, I can suss out every detail about a person's life by the way they react when they see my penis
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Apr 16, 2015 00:30
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I'd be Mycroft Holmes, Sherlock's smarter but lazier brother. All he does is hang around in a spy HQ disguised as a club for asocial autists and Sherlock comes up to him and they talk through the cases Sherlock's working on.
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Apr 16, 2015 00:49
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I'd like to be Stive Gonzales, detective.
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Apr 16, 2015 00:56
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Detective Seinfeld won't rest until he uncovers the truth behind the deal with stuff.
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Apr 16, 2015 01:45
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I would work for OLCC. I look young, blend in, and know how not to be a jerk bag. If they could just gimme a POST cert that would be p. cool too.
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Apr 16, 2015 01:48
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I am real life sex detective. Only sexy cases for me thanks.
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Apr 16, 2015 07:05
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"We can't figure out what these symbols and images mean, or why the killer is leaving them on his victims." Detective Manga calmly took in the scene. He plucked one of the torn pages from the body, and slid it off his katana into an evidence bag. "The symbols are called kanji and the imagery is of a style known as anime." Flocons de Jambon fucked around with this message at 07:51 on Apr 16, 2015 |
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Apr 16, 2015 07:48
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Gender detective.
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Apr 16, 2015 07:49
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Meat pie detective. "What's in this pie? I'll use my detective skill to discover 'chomp'". What's the best thing to put into a pie? A: You're teeth
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Apr 16, 2015 08:14
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Property Detective because despite all the shady poo poo regarding property I'm being paid to do nothing about it and be an ornament.
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Apr 16, 2015 08:26
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Yet another defective detective in a network TV hourlong procedural drama.
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Apr 16, 2015 08:31
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i'd be a bad detective like the new york dolls song 'bad detective' and i'd always get my man
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Apr 16, 2015 09:40
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sexy detective
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Apr 16, 2015 09:44
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wait a minute i want to change my answer johnny asperger, autism detective
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Apr 16, 2015 09:46
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sexy autism detective
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Apr 16, 2015 09:46
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I like detectives a lot. So I would be a Detective Detective. I'd only investigate detectives.
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Apr 16, 2015 11:05
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I am investigating all of you right now. EngineerSean posted:breast detective or just breastective for short done investigating this guy. He's not really qualified but he does love his work. So I'm just gonna let it slide.
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Apr 16, 2015 11:08
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The ghost of an inquisitive giant squid haunts a grizzled Vietnam vet, who then has his brain put into a police robot, and then it's AI is uploaded to a program on the darkweb which is downloaded into the hardware of a detective's pacemaker. That detective dies, and his ghost possess the empty husk of a dead giraffe, who is cloned thousands of times and then is hooked up to a machine such that each giraffe can use the brainpower of all the others as one collective unconsciousness to solve crimes. When they fall asleep, it creates a dream so vivid it is actually alive, and exist on the same astral plane as deities. Zeus makes love to this dream, and it births a detective. I am that detective.
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Apr 16, 2015 11:13
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Otto von Ruthless posted:one with just one more case to go before my retirement It's been almost a day, so I'm sure none of you are surprised to hear it: this guy's dead. But it was his wife that got him. She didn't want him hanging around the house. !Klams posted:The ghost of an inquisitive giant squid haunts a grizzled Vietnam vet, who then has his brain put into a police robot, and then it's AI is uploaded to a program on the darkweb which is downloaded into the hardware of a detective's pacemaker. That detective dies, and his ghost possess the empty husk of a dead giraffe, who is cloned thousands of times and then is hooked up to a machine such that each giraffe can use the brainpower of all the others as one collective unconsciousness to solve crimes. When they fall asleep, it creates a dream so vivid it is actually alive, and exist on the same astral plane as deities. Zeus makes love to this dream, and it births a detective. I am that detective. This detective has diagnosed but untreated schizophrenia. This is not a guess, I detected his medical files. But he also has an almost perfect success record. Go to this detective if you don't mind unorthodox methods and time isn't a factor.
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Apr 16, 2015 11:16
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Secretly criminal detective I'll be committing the actual crimes, but all the evidence will end up implicating my personal enemies, like Brian who picked on me in the fourth grade. I have to support myself with crime dosh because I'm a real crummy detective in cases where the evidence isn't stuff I planted. A couple detectives were suspicious of me, but then half of them murdered the other half unexpectedly.
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Apr 16, 2015 11:29
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Blurry Gray Thing posted:It's been almost a day, so I'm sure none of you are surprised to hear it: this guy's dead. I'm waiting for you to slip up by ignoring the process of judging the merits of multiple options, so that I can say Response selected, defective detective detective detected: elective neglected. So let me know when that happens, tia.
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Apr 16, 2015 11:30
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dicktective
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Apr 16, 2015 11:31
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the great deceiver posted:sexy autism detective This detective is only doing this so he can meet a woman who looks good in red, has a troubled past, and loves videogames. Or so he wants us to think. He also acts like he's never heard of Sam Sperglord, who's had the Autism racket covered for nearly a year now. So I sense an ulterior motive.
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Apr 16, 2015 11:32
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A porn detective tracking down the source for all those hot clips and pics you stumble across on the webs.
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Apr 16, 2015 12:12
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B.H. Facials posted:A porn detective tracking down the source for all those hot clips and pics you stumble across on the webs. This detective is doing God's work. He doesn't make much money, though. More often than not, he works for the public good instead of for individual affluent clients. You should donate money to his cause.
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Apr 16, 2015 12:29
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champagne billionaire detective
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Apr 16, 2015 13:01
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One with a great mustache and funny accent like Poirot.
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Apr 16, 2015 13:46
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Don't you mean armchair detective? 
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Apr 16, 2015 14:32
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booty detective investigating that rear end girl.
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Apr 16, 2015 14:33
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Rigel posted:a true detective
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Apr 16, 2015 14:44
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nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo OPPPPPPPPPPPP
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Apr 16, 2015 14:47
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op's a human being detective
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Apr 16, 2015 15:04
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Blurry Gray Thing posted:I am investigating all of you right now. boss always offers to pay me overtime but I let it slide, in the name of getting the job done
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Apr 16, 2015 15:08
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id be the detective who investigates rapes and as i'm carrying the rape kit into the analysis area i'd drop it and yell "schmorgesborg" and try to put it all back together
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Apr 16, 2015 19:08
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 10:47 |
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Surprised no one's said 'Dr.Dre, detective at law' yet to be honest
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Apr 16, 2015 19:17
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