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*"ok! We are all looking just a LITTLE too much like each other here haha, um, seriously we all have the same nose. Yeah. Ok! So bring some girls back this time, no, no more marrying each other sisters for a couple years. I mean we all look pretty good, probably because we keep killing off anyone who isn't built like a football player. Still though."* *leaves small, frozen home village, arrives in small, damp foreign village* *village girls see boat full of tall good looking football player-y dudes* *women start throwing themselves on the boat* *"take us with you!! They're making me marry my cousin!! Seriously get me out of here though. Oh look Vicki they aren't all covered in pig poo poo!!"* *"whoa!! Ladies hey we can't fit you all on the boat." "Well then get those pants off and impregnate the rest of us then, we're getting all inbred over here" "yeah honestly we're having the same problem back home."* *remaining vikings eye angry women sheepishly* *"look fuckers, it's early human history, we need your genes, this is how it works, get your drat pants off NOW"* *village women drag terrified young viking men off into the woodline raping them* naem fucked around with this message at 03:35 on May 1, 2015 |
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May 1, 2015 03:18
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 21:02 |
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*suspiciously large number of village children born blond that year*
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May 1, 2015 03:30
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Bruce Kison posted:*Chokes in the playoffs* Or second half
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May 1, 2015 03:40
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naem posted:*suspiciously large number of village children born blond that year* *every child has noticeable gaps between each one of their teeth*
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May 1, 2015 03:46
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naem posted:*"ok! We are all looking just a LITTLE too much like each other here haha, um, seriously we all have the same nose. Yeah. Ok! So bring some girls back this time, no, no more marrying each other sisters for a couple years. I mean we all look pretty good, probably because we keep killing off anyone who isn't built like a football player. Still though."* A bunch of those women would have been so gross and smelly to a Viking. Poor bastards.
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May 1, 2015 04:30
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the vikings would have been big fans of Ariel Pink you're fertilizer, fertilizer, on the body faaaaaarm
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May 1, 2015 05:02
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huh i wonder why people from that region would have cause to have animosity against latin speaking bishoprics
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May 1, 2015 05:04
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did you know the pope is an office that became christian, its way older than jesus lmbo *buries wife with cathayan buddhist artifacts*
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May 1, 2015 05:08
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naem posted:*"ok! We are all looking just a LITTLE too much like each other here haha, um, seriously we all have the same nose. Yeah. Ok! So bring some girls back this time, no, no more marrying each other sisters for a couple years. I mean we all look pretty good, probably because we keep killing off anyone who isn't built like a football player. Still though."* This is closer to the truth since the locals were shocked by viking customs such as regular bathing and combing their hair.
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May 1, 2015 05:11
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*hires brett favre at one point* LOL
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May 1, 2015 05:13
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Hits child's genitals with a stick.
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May 1, 2015 05:30
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*Googles "Vikings football", clicks on first link *Excited that MSU's Trae Waynes is gonna join us. I'm talking about the Vikings football team guys. I'm the first one right?
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May 1, 2015 18:35
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYweh8th1EY
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May 1, 2015 18:37
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im gay and also a viking
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May 1, 2015 18:38
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Two whole weeks without a viking thread! http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3713792&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1
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May 1, 2015 19:58
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*blows snot into a shared bucket with other vikings* lol no actually i saw that on the hit tv show "vikings". did they actually do that cause its kinda gross
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May 1, 2015 20:27
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Kukash posted:*blows snot into a shared bucket with other vikings* Look at this fancy pants, thinks he needs his own bucket
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May 1, 2015 20:36
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Kukash posted:*blows snot into a shared bucket with other vikings* iirc that was made up by angry english nobles as a way to slander them for bathing a lot I seriously doubt 10 dudes in a line blow their snot in a bowl of water and hand it to the next dude so he can splash it all over his face, it'd be at least half snot after like 4-5 people.
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May 1, 2015 20:38
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Kukash posted:*blows snot into a shared bucket with other vikings* yeah except it was a communal tissue and not a bucket, that one muslim scholar recorded that
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May 1, 2015 20:38
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*is honored to be killed by best drunken friend*
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May 1, 2015 20:39
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o yeah i forgot they washed with the previous dudes snot.. thats actually kind of a turn on tbh
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May 1, 2015 20:40
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think they did anything with each others viking juice iykwim
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May 1, 2015 20:41
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mixed it with mead and drank it while eating sheep testicles
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May 1, 2015 21:50
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rubbin a dude's snot in your face is a great way to get all that guy's sicknesses so maybe it was like the viking version of vaccination
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May 1, 2015 21:58
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ghlbtsk posted:Two whole weeks without a viking thread! Two whole weeks too long imo
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May 1, 2015 22:00
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 They are still here, patiently biding their time.
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May 2, 2015 03:47
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http://youtu.be/wLATMJdQr-4 I surrender
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May 2, 2015 05:22
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naem posted:http://youtu.be/wLATMJdQr-4 foreigners welcome https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCb9Ef3LRrE
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May 2, 2015 05:26
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Me Viking
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May 2, 2015 05:29
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*has no horns on helmet because Vikings didnt even loving have horned helmets*
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May 2, 2015 05:30
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Zeike posted:*has no horns on helmet because Vikings didnt even loving have horned helmets* *has horns on helmet, is dragged by enemy across battlefield for ten minutes before the enemy gets bored and slaughters me* *horns are made of cheap wood and fall off in the process*
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May 2, 2015 06:10
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May 2, 2015 06:23
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 21:02 |
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*fades into obscurity after 200 years*
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May 2, 2015 23:25
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