Ok, lets settle this once and for all! Who would win? Pirates or ninjas?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Ok, lets settle this once and for all! Who would win? Pirates or ninjas?

Lord Waffle Beard: Dec 7, 2013

I say pirates, armed to the teeth and would just shoot the ninja

# ? May 16, 2015 20:19

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 10:16

Enfield: May 30, 2011; by Nyc_Tattoo

ninjas have the shadows as an ally and superior martial train8ng and prowess

# ? May 16, 2015 20:21

Beef Turret: Jul 9, 2009; by Lowtax

Ninjas live unseen and strike from the shadows. You can't shoot what you can't see. The choice is clear

# ? May 16, 2015 20:21

-Misfit-: Apr 20, 2005; I come in the name of Jesus Christ by the power of the holy spirit Bitch!

time traveling cyborgs as you didnt even expect them

# ? May 16, 2015 20:23

Demora: Aug 13, 2004; It wouldn't be the Enterprise without a Sulu at the helm

You can't win poo poo if you got scurvy.

# ? May 16, 2015 20:24

Kuato: Feb 25, 2005; "I CAN'T BELIEVE I ATE THE WHOLE THING"; Buglord

had a few hr discussion with someone in college about this, finally got won over to the pirate side over the whole "he'd just shoot him" argument. Indy vs. flashy sword swinging guy pretty much illustrates how pirate vs ninja would go down.

# ? May 16, 2015 20:27

Diesel Fucker: Aug 14, 2003; I spent my rent money on tentacle porn.

There's only one way to settle this...

http://www.spike.com/articles/9of4p3/deadliest-warrior-pirate-vs-ninja

Pirates win.

# ? May 16, 2015 20:27

Harald: Jul 10, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

are we talking Blackbeard type pirates or somali pirates?

# ? May 16, 2015 20:34

I'm Crap: Aug 15, 2001

this was already settled by history op. the nipponese were forbidden by law from getting into duels with dutch/portuguese sailors because they never won

# ? May 16, 2015 20:45

sketch_nimrod: Apr 1, 2010

if the pirates have modern firearms the nijnas dont stand a chance

# ? May 16, 2015 20:46

Riot Bimbo: Dec 28, 2006

an army of cyborgs from the future

# ? May 16, 2015 20:49

Harald: Jul 10, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

sketch_nimrod posted:

if the pirates have modern firearms the nijnas dont stand a chance

that's what i'm thinking. like if the pirates just have wheel lock pistols or whatever and the ninjas have bows and shurikens...okay, even match. but if they are somali pirates with machine guns and rocket launchers, that's going to tip the balance of power quite a bit.

# ? May 16, 2015 20:49

reignofevil: Nov 7, 2008

Pirates still definitely exist today; sometimes the Russian navy threatens to shoot them.

Ninjas (probably) don't still exist; and even if they do I am pretty sure Naruto is gonna shame them into not showing up for a fight.

Pirates.

# ? May 16, 2015 20:58

Horniest Manticore: Nov 23, 2013; Hello, you!; Lipstick Apathy

ZOmbies!!!

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# ? May 16, 2015 20:59

Harald: Jul 10, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

wikipedia posted:

Hitsuke � The practice of distracting guards by starting a fire away from the ninja's planned point of entry. Falls under "fire techniques" (katon-no-jutsu).[68]
Tanuki-gakure � The practice of climbing a tree and camouflaging oneself within the foliage. Falls under "wood techniques" (mokuton-no-jutsu).[68]
Ukigusa-gakure � The practice of throwing duckweed over water in order to conceal underwater movement. Falls under "water techniques" (suiton-no-jutsu).[68]
Uzura-gakure � The practice of curling into a ball and remaining motionless in order to appear like a stone. Falls under "earth techniques" (doton-no-jutsu).[68]

yeah sounds like some real useful poo poo

# ? May 16, 2015 21:02

Who Is Paul Blart: Oct 22, 2010

peparony and monkeychease

# ? May 16, 2015 21:02

naem: May 29, 2011

Nuke it from fire orbit

# ? May 16, 2015 21:04

SpiderHyphenMan: Apr 1, 2010; by Fluffdaddy

Getting kissed by a girl.

# ? May 16, 2015 21:10

Beef Turret: Jul 9, 2009; by Lowtax

SpiderHyphenMan posted:

Getting kissed by a girl.

Krying about Korra
I take children's cartoons way too seriously for a man in his 40s.
(I'm so lonely)

# ? May 16, 2015 21:14

Enfield: May 30, 2011; by Nyc_Tattoo

what if the ninjas had lightsabers

# ? May 16, 2015 21:27

unassertive boy 99: Dec 7, 2014; by Ralp

monkey cheese

# ? May 16, 2015 21:32

Sidecrab: Jul 16, 2012

This thread is a little too random for me. I'm just not that zany.

Sorry.

# ? May 16, 2015 21:56

Windows 98: Nov 13, 2005; HTTP 400: Bad post

ITT we are still in high school

# ? May 16, 2015 21:57

Diesel Fucker: Aug 14, 2003; I spent my rent money on tentacle porn.

Some people are not citing their evidence itt.

# ? May 16, 2015 22:03

Scrotum Modem: Sep 12, 2014

Enfield posted:

what if the ninjas had lightsabers

dude they don't need light sabers

they have hanzo steel katanas

# ? May 16, 2015 22:05

poverty goat: Feb 15, 2004

lmao if you think the ninjas would even make their presence known to the pirates when they were any condition to fight

ninjas would lie in wait and descent silently upon the pirates after a night of drunken revelry

# ? May 16, 2015 22:10

Enfield: May 30, 2011; by Nyc_Tattoo

Windows 98 posted:

ITT we are still in high school

dont you life with your parents? owned

# ? May 16, 2015 22:12

Matey: Mar 28, 2008; eat food

<---------

nuff said

# ? May 16, 2015 23:00

Fredrik1: Jan 22, 2005; Gopherslayer; Fallen Rib

Why would some scrawny kid with a cd-rom burner win over a ninja!?

# ? May 16, 2015 23:14

Matey: Mar 28, 2008; eat food

Fredrik1 posted:

Why would some scrawny kid with a cd-rom burner win over a ninja!?

That's not what they're talking about, ya goofball!

# ? May 16, 2015 23:18

roomforthetuna: Mar 22, 2005; I don't need to know anything about virii! My CUSTOM PROGRAM keeps me protected! It's not like they'll try to come in through the Internet or something!

Everybody would win. The ninjas would wait until the pirates are asleep, and while they're waiting they'd realize they have no reason to fight pirates in the first place. The pirates wouldn't know the ninjas were even there. They would all go on with their lives.

Until the cyborgs come.

# ? May 17, 2015 20:01

Beef Turret: Jul 9, 2009; by Lowtax

Bump

# ? May 17, 2015 20:59

OldMemes: Sep 5, 2011; I have to go now. My planet needs me.

How would the ninjas get onto the boats anyway? :colbert:

# ? May 17, 2015 21:08

Mr.Pibbleton: Feb 3, 2006; Aleuts rock, chummer.

Black people would win, then white people would make up some racist stuff in order to justify it. Just like when Jews were the dominant race in the NBA.

# ? May 17, 2015 21:15

Aunt Teefa: Mar 17, 2015

BACON would beat both with a bacon katana lolololol!

# ? May 17, 2015 21:29

shove me like you do: Dec 9, 2007; Real Neato; Fun Shoe

Answer

# ? May 17, 2015 21:34

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 10:16

naem: May 29, 2011

roomforthetuna posted:

Everybody would win. The ninjas would wait until the pirates are asleep, and while they're waiting they'd realize they have no reason to fight pirates in the first place. The pirates wouldn't know the ninjas were even there. They would all go on with their lives.

Until the cyborgs come.

I vote for the cyborgs cum

# ? May 17, 2015 21:43

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Ok, lets settle this once and for all! Who would win? Pirates or ninjas?