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Fergus Mac Roich posted:remember when like right out of the gate god tells Abraham to sacrifice Isaac just to see if Abey's dumb beta brain would go do it Some folks will do anything you tell them. 
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May 18, 2015 05:43
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VendaGoat posted:What kind of arbitrary rules does a Prime motherfucking creator run by?
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May 18, 2015 05:47
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skander posted:Any kind it wants. LOL, don't masturbate. True nough.
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May 18, 2015 05:55
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Geek USSR posted:In the Genesis creation myth the people do not eat the animals before the fall of humanity and sin enters the world. god straight up calls them livestock and gives us dominion over them.
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May 18, 2015 06:03
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god doesn't want you to eat meat because if you only eat vegetables and fruits then you won't be poo poo. god is scared rear end bitch who knows a meat eater will easily gently caress him up
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May 18, 2015 06:22
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if god didnt want us to eat meat I have a question: if man was supposed to follow his orders, why doesnt he just bellow out "DONT EAT MEAT" across the skies every year? man sure as hell isnt gonna remember not to eat delicious, succulent, meat.
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May 18, 2015 06:28
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God says its cool to eat animals for the first time after Noah gets off the ark:quote:
The word of the Lord. Thanks be to God.
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May 18, 2015 06:33
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3Z9cjKkqn4
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May 18, 2015 06:48
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poo poo that totally happened.txt
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May 18, 2015 07:48
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*eats apple* *is banished from paradise*
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May 18, 2015 07:50
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Moridin920 posted:*eats apple* fruitarianism is the root of all evil
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May 18, 2015 07:52
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VendaGoat posted:LOL, don't masturbate. Nothing about jerking it in the Bible. Onanism (which people think is masturbation) is named after Onan, who felt weird about loving his dead brother's wife to continue the family legacy as was the way back in those days. He didn't feel so weird that he didn't gently caress her, but just weird enough so that he pulled out and jazzed on the ground. This may even be interpreted as God wanting chicks to swallow or get painted, depending on the translation. VendaGoat posted:Except on Friday. MOTHERFUCKER! You can't eat "meat" on Friday. What the gently caress is this poo poo? What kind of arbitrary rules does a Prime motherfucking creator run by? God never said that. That's Catholic dogma, because Jesus died on a Friday, so... eat a tuna sandwich instead? It's pretty arbitrary, but a lot of things are for no other reason than to see if you can follow the stupid rules for the good of society. VendaGoat posted:You know what else is hosed up? An omnipotent, omnipresent being created an angel that would eventually rebel against him and introduce, even though it wasn't actually him that did the first introduction LOL, the knowledge of good, evil and death into mankind. The thing people don't get about God is that reality is basically hands-off reality television for angels and demons and God and stuff. People get mad about this poo poo, but it doesn't matter, reality is what reality is, and bad things are gonna happen at some point. The Bible and Quran and various other holy books are just health codexes and general civilization handbooks there to give us a jumpstart to the point where we aren't a bunch of stupid tribals. God needs his stories!  Thunder Moose posted:God wants Five Guys right now OP.
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May 18, 2015 08:04
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Mathlete posted:God says its cool to eat animals for the first time after Noah gets off the ark: adam and eve didn't have slim jims and now we are all sinners. do the math, vegans.
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May 18, 2015 08:34
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LOVE LOVE SKELETON posted:adam and eve didn't have slim jims and now we are all sinners. do the math, vegans. ANIME IS BLOOD posted:fruitarianism is the root of all evil seems pretty obvious; Steve Jobs was a fruitarian and even named his whole company after the fruit of knowledge of good and evil and he got struck loving dead
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May 18, 2015 08:35
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VendaGoat posted:You know what else is hosed up? An omnipotent, omnipresent being created an angel that would eventually rebel against him and introduce, even though it wasn't actually him that did the first introduction LOL, the knowledge of good, evil and death into mankind. The most hilarious thing about Christianity is that they constructed the idea of the Devil out of misinterpretations of the Bible. Satan does show up to tempt Job and Jesus, but in both instances he's actually working for God; he tempts these men not to corrupt their souls, but to test their faith in God. Every angel has their own job: Gabriel is the messenger, Azrael is the grim reaper, etc. Satan is just the dude that checks to see if certain people will turn on God if given the opportunity. But then Christians mistakenly identified Satan as the Great Red Dragon from Revelations. Of course Revelations was not meant as a literal prophecy, it was written as a political analogy at a time when early Christians were being persecuted left and right by the the big empires back in the day - the Dragon symbolizes Rome, not some fallen angel. Even the name Lucifer refers to an earlier Canaanite god that ruled the underworld and has nothing to do with what we call the Devil. Really I feel sorry for Satan (sympathy for the devil) because he's just doing what God told him to do and now he's some big scary boogeyman. Good thing it's all made up BS.
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May 18, 2015 09:26
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Best non-god-related vegan argument around https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UROxRLbVils Also gently caress vegans, no offense.
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May 18, 2015 10:33
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god speaks to me but he doesnt say anything about becoming a vegetarian. mostly just stuff about how people are plotting against me and how i should kill them. man, what a prankster He is.
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May 18, 2015 11:32
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Dude he specifically requests his followers to eat his flesh and drink his blood. Why would he have problem with meat eating? He`s such meat-fan that he`ll even make himself the meal. Meanwhile the first fruit eaters (Adam and Eve) hosed up humanity. In conclusion fruits are of the devil, but consumption of meat and wine is pleasing to god.
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May 18, 2015 13:10
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Hail Satan *bites into a bacon double cheese burger*
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May 18, 2015 13:51
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If God made Adam in his image does that mean that God is made of meat? I always thought he was made of crackers?
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May 18, 2015 14:01
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gently caress god that nigga don't know dick about poo poo
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May 18, 2015 14:20
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God has come down from on high and given me a decree. I must strip naked and run through a Barnum and Bailey's circus, whilst signing the Oscar Meyer wiener song, eating a bacon double cheeseburger.
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May 18, 2015 17:40
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MantisToboggan posted:The most hilarious thing about Christianity is that they constructed the idea of the Devil out of misinterpretations of the Bible. Satan does show up to tempt Job and Jesus, but in both instances he's actually working for God; he tempts these men not to corrupt their souls, but to test their faith in God. Every angel has their own job: Gabriel is the messenger, Azrael is the grim reaper, etc. Satan is just the dude that checks to see if certain people will turn on God if given the opportunity. a lot of christians have trouble with 'metaphor' and 'allegory'
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May 18, 2015 17:45
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VendaGoat posted:God has come down from on high and given me a decree. I must strip naked and run through a Barnum and Bailey's circus, whilst signing the Oscar Meyer wiener song, eating a bacon double cheeseburger. inshallah
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May 18, 2015 17:53
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eating too much protein makes me feel bad, as does eating too little prehaps, the truth is in the middle ?
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May 18, 2015 18:03
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Geek USSR posted:temptation is everywhere you eat a lot of cock, no?
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May 18, 2015 18:08
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MantisToboggan posted:The most hilarious thing about Christianity is that they constructed the idea of the Devil out of misinterpretations of the Bible. Satan does show up to tempt Job and Jesus, but in both instances he's actually working for God; he tempts these men not to corrupt their souls, but to test their faith in God. Every angel has their own job: Gabriel is the messenger, Azrael is the grim reaper, etc. Satan is just the dude that checks to see if certain people will turn on God if given the opportunity. Word, yo. Word. Fredrik1 posted:If God made Adam in his image does that mean that God is made of meat? When I was a small child I was under the impression that I was creating a flesh golem in Heaven for me to inhabit when I died, and the materials were the Communion wafers and wine. It was kind of frowned upon for kids to drink from the chalice at Communion, never saw any other kid do it at any rate. Haven't been to Mass in years. If child-me was correct, I have a lovely half-completed anemic flesh golem waiting for me, assuming I even get in. (gonna get in unlike most of you fuckers)
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May 18, 2015 19:55
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CAPT. Rainbowbeard posted:When I was a small child I was under the impression that I was creating a flesh golem in Heaven for me to inhabit when I died, and the materials were the Communion wafers and wine. It was kind of frowned upon for kids to drink from the chalice at Communion, never saw any other kid do it at any rate. Haven't been to Mass in years. 
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May 18, 2015 21:59
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Hobohemian posted:God called cain a little bitch when he gave him vegetables as tribute. He got so mad he threw a tantrum that killed his brother. What I'm saying is vegetarians are children and their fathers don't love them for it. Yeah, it is kind of weird how the creation myths of a tribe of herdsmen end up saying how much cooler meat is than grain.
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May 19, 2015 02:53
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Fredrik1 posted:I always thought he was made of crackers? gods not white btw
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May 19, 2015 03:09
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1 Timothy 4:1-5 posted:The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons. Such teachings come through hypocritical liars, whose consciences have been seared as with a hot iron. They forbid people to marry and order them to abstain from certain foods, which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and who know the truth. For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer. Get thee behind me, OP!
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May 19, 2015 03:25
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The White Dragon posted:gods not white btw But he is unleavened!
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May 19, 2015 03:26
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Some of you become very angry when the gentle yolk of the creator is mentioned. A vegetarian diet is not a burden, but a celebration of all God's creation. Full participation in creation does not mean destroying it or taking as much as one can get, but seeking out joy in simplicity. And it wasn't an apple in Genesis 3.
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May 19, 2015 04:15
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Pththya-lyi posted:Get thee behind me, OP! That's just Paul's opinion.
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May 19, 2015 04:15
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