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 This is Reese and Mel (and my cluttered-rear end bed). Reese, on top, is a 3 year old rescue who, as far as we can tell, is part Australian Cattle Dog and part Other. Mel, on the bottom, is a 13 year old Tibetan Terrier. Reese is fiercely devoted to Mel. It's really very sweet; Mel has gone blind and half-deaf and Reese always tries to help Mel out and keep an eye on her when they're outside. But when I say fiercely devoted, I mean it. When we take Mel to get groomed and leave Reese behind (Reese sheds, she does not need haircuts), Reese flips the gently caress out. She throws herself at the door, and when that fails and Mel gets taken away, she's miserable. She cries at the top of her lungs and sometimes escalates to out-and-out howling, and will mope around the house all day until Mel comes back. I know that sounds a bit extreme, so let me just add that it really is a healthy relationship. When they're both home Reese is fine being apart from Mel and both of them doing their own things. She simply does not like it when you take Mel away from her. She loves Mel very much. (We brought Mel with us when we rescued Reese, to make sure the new dog and Mel would get along, and I have a personal theory that, in Reese's mind, Mel was the one who rescued her.) Which brings up a bit of an upcoming problem -- Mel is 13 and closer to 14 than not. She's in pretty good health, all things considered, but... we're playing on house money at this point in regards to lifespan. Sooner than later, she's going to die, and Reese is going to be loving heartbroken. We've gotten used to having two dogs and have planned to get another one after Mel dies, but recently two members of my family have raised the same question (and independently with almost exactly the same wording): is it maybe better to get another dog now, so that Reese will have time to bond with the new dog and maybe won't be so crushed when Mel dies? Is it better to wait and get the new dog afterwards, when Reese is sad, so it'll cheer her up? Is there no difference? I don't know any more than they do, so I'm asking for your advice. What should we do?
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Jun 21, 2015 00:18
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| # ? Apr 16, 2024 16:21 |
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Your dog's going to mourn just like you guys will. Maybe more, maybe less. You can tell her usual habits. When she starts acting like herself again, look around for another buddy for her. Dogs are as individual in their mourning as we are, dude. Some dogs are fine in a couple of days, some dogs never get over it and end up in Where The Red Fern Grows territory. Most dogs fall somewhere in the middle, but that's one hell of a gap.
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Jun 21, 2015 00:26
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I don't think there's a clear choice between the two routes you can go down. I'm more on the camp of introducing another dog into the family first. I feel like it's possible that the main problem is that Reese simply doesn't want to be left alone as the only dog. There is more risk though, in that Reese might get even more overly protective about Mel when another dog has come into the family. In fact, it's more than likely that problem will be present in some form or another if you bring another dog in while Mel is still with you. But just like how it'll take time for Reese to get over Mel's passing, it'll take time too for Reese to get acclimated to another dog living with her. So start early, I say. Just be on the lookout for those problems and reserve extra time to be home and around after the two most critical points happen: when you bring the new dog home, and right after Mel passes away.
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Jul 18, 2015 23:11
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It's a tough one, our dog has perked up again 1 month after the new rescue dog arrived, 8 months after her best bud's death. In that time, her devotion transfered to us, whining and sulking whenever we weren't ALL at home. I don't think she'd have perked up sooner if we'd got a new dog sooner and we, humans, needed the time to grieve and find the right dog with the right temperament. You don't want to rush into getting a replacement dog to try and keep the other happy straight after the old one dies but can you handle the unknown of three dogs and how they might get on right now? If you think you can find a good fit for your household then maybe bring that dog in and hope they become friends (it can take a while), otherwise it's just going to be tough seeing your dog grieve as you are grieving too but that's just life and dogs will get over it in time. edited to add: It might be important for the cattle herder to see the protegé die so that the dog isn't furious at you for taking the westie away and not bringing it back for some unknown reason. If it comes to euthanasia, you might want to consider bringing your other dog to the vets to witness that their friend is indeed gone. Some animals need to be informed (chickens need to be presented with the corpse of their flock member to say goodbye for example) and if your dog has taken on a protector role, understanding that that particular "job" is over might be an important part of moving on. n3wt fucked around with this message at 20:47 on Jul 26, 2015 |
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Jul 25, 2015 22:32
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I would advise against getting another dog prematurely. If either of the new dogs don't care for it there will be more problems. I am worried about this for my younger guy. He adores the older one. My sister runs off with the older one at times and the young guy is depressed and mopey until he returns.
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Aug 1, 2015 22:43
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