Pulizer to Onion

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Pulizer to Onion

SnowblindFatal: Jan 7, 2011

ace reporters one step ahead of everyone else

# ? Jul 20, 2015 15:20

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 10:24

symbolic: Nov 2, 2014

it's spelled Pulitzer you inbred

# ? Jul 20, 2015 15:22

SnowblindFatal: Jan 7, 2011

symbolic for darvin awards.

# ? Jul 20, 2015 15:29

Bowlcutbarricade: Dec 27, 2014

I read the news

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Jul 20, 2015 15:30

Frijolero: Jan 24, 2009; by Nyc_Tattoo

LOL

Those loving jew comedians always knock it out of the park.

# ? Jul 20, 2015 16:38

Love Rat: Jan 15, 2008; I've made a psycho call to the woman I love, I've kicked a dog to death, and now I'm going to pepper spray an acquaintance. Something... I mean, what's happened to me?

That was such a foregone conclusion that the story barely qualifies as satire if at all.

# ? Jul 21, 2015 01:55

Chumbawumba4ever97: Dec 31, 2000; by Fluffdaddy

3 years later...

# ? Jul 21, 2015 02:13

Aesop Poprock: Oct 21, 2008; Grimey Drawer

Uncle at Nintendo posted:

3 years later...

To be fair they are good razors and I use them

# ? Jul 21, 2015 02:14

naem: May 29, 2011

Welcome to Costco, I love you

# ? Jul 21, 2015 02:18

raditts: Feb 21, 2001; The Kwanzaa Bot is here to protect me.

They were way ahead of the curve on the Bush presidency
http://www.theonion.com/article/bush-our-long-national-nightmare-of-peace-and-pros-464

# ? Jul 21, 2015 02:33

wrist deep in the dead: Feb 10, 2006

raditts posted:

They were way ahead of the curve on the Bush presidency
http://www.theonion.com/article/bush-our-long-national-nightmare-of-peace-and-pros-464

# ? Jul 21, 2015 03:26

etalian: Mar 20, 2006

OsakaShadow posted:

Onion has a glimpse of the future:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iKC21wDarBo

# ? Jul 21, 2015 04:03

shirts and skins: Jun 25, 2007; Good morning!

raditts posted:

They were way ahead of the curve on the Bush presidency
http://www.theonion.com/article/bush-our-long-national-nightmare-of-peace-and-pros-464

I was gonna agree with the guy who likes the 5 bladed razor but now I'm sad, drat.

We were so close to avoiding all that bullshit.

# ? Jul 21, 2015 04:07

DemonToadGoat: Jan 12, 2015

so what stops them from just going to 9 blades or more?

like how refined does the steel have to be that you could increase the number of blades by 4 without adding too much extra space. pretty cool when you think about it.

the future! 23 blades in a 1/4 inch strip.

# ? Jul 21, 2015 04:31

etalian: Mar 20, 2006

More blades is actually worse

# ? Jul 21, 2015 04:39

circ dick soleil: Sep 27, 2012; by zen death robot

More blades is better, actually.

# ? Jul 21, 2015 04:47

Frostwerks: Sep 24, 2007; by Lowtax

more blades is completely neutral one way or another

# ? Jul 21, 2015 04:51

Crass Casualty: May 9, 2004; The artist formerly known as Iron Stalin

etalian posted:

More blades is actually worse

The extra blades don't really do anything. Except maybe provide extra opportunity to slice yourself.

# ? Jul 21, 2015 04:52

chaosbreather: Dec 9, 2001; Wry and wise,
but also very sexual.

if more blades weren't better why would they make the packaging orange

# ? Jul 21, 2015 04:54

Nwabudike Morgan: Dec 31, 2007

circ dick soleil posted:

More blades is better, actually.

actually they are worse

# ? Jul 21, 2015 04:55

gary oldmans diary: Sep 26, 2005

raditts posted:

They were way ahead of the curve on the Bush presidency
http://www.theonion.com/article/bush-our-long-national-nightmare-of-peace-and-pros-464

hey i know: lets be the first nation in human history to start a war without raising taxes and deflect all criticism with "freedom isnt free" then a few weeks before the next guy is even inaugerated watch as your base blames him for somehow spending trillions of dollars like thats even a presidential or pre-presidential power

# ? Jul 21, 2015 05:01

gary oldmans diary: Sep 26, 2005

also
when you open a new razor only use it to finish with the up stroke
keep using your older razor on the down stroke
they last longer

# ? Jul 21, 2015 05:04

naem: May 29, 2011

chaosbreather posted:

if more blades weren't better why would they make the packaging orange

# ? Jul 21, 2015 06:13

VectorSigma: Jan 20, 2004; Transform
and
Freak Out

Frijolero posted:

LOL

Those loving jew comedians always knock it out of the park.

i know, right? netanyahoo always leaves me rolling in the aisles.

# ? Jul 21, 2015 06:17

Robo Reagan: Feb 12, 2012; by Fluffdaddy

Crass Casualty posted:

The extra blades don't really do anything. Except maybe provide extra opportunity to slice yourself.

learn how to shave

# ? Jul 21, 2015 06:17

Pox: Feb 16, 2015

the blades are what cut the hair.

# ? Jul 21, 2015 06:23

Pox: Feb 16, 2015

more of them are better.

# ? Jul 21, 2015 06:23

boom boom boom: Jun 28, 2012; by Shine

Crass Casualty posted:

The extra blades don't really do anything. Except maybe provide extra opportunity to slice yourself.

I've used that razor, and it's basically impossible to cut yourself with it

# ? Jul 21, 2015 06:23

and the claw won!: Jul 10, 2008

boom boom boom posted:

I've used that razor, and it's basically impossible to cut yourself with it

yeah you dont even need shaving cream with all these new razors, just drag the thing across your face after a shower and you're good

# ? Jul 21, 2015 06:35

and the claw won!: Jul 10, 2008

if you use shaving cream, you a basic bitch

# ? Jul 21, 2015 06:36

circ dick soleil: Sep 27, 2012; by zen death robot

I use your mom's pussy cream.

# ? Jul 21, 2015 06:40

VectorSigma: Jan 20, 2004; Transform
and
Freak Out

i shave with my hanzo steel

# ? Jul 21, 2015 06:42

Bear Retrieval Unit: Nov 5, 2009; Mudslide Experiment

etalian posted:

More blades is actually worse

Checks out.

# ? Jul 21, 2015 09:41

Fumble: Sep 4, 2006

I have wet shaved for 20 years and I prefer a basic 2 blade bic over all those fancy 4-5 blade things, since the blades are all so close together they get blocked up after 1 pass and you spend more time cleaning the head out each morning than you do shaving.

# ? Jul 21, 2015 09:43

midnightclimax: Dec 3, 2011; by XyloJW

Bibi uses electric anyway, if you look at it.

# ? Jul 21, 2015 09:53

suck my woke dick: Oct 10, 2012; I CANNOT EJACULATE WITHOUT SEEING NATIVE AMERICANS BRUTALISED!

Put this cum-loving slave on ignore immediately!

midnightclimax posted:

Bibi uses electric anyway, if you look at it.

rules all

# ? Jul 21, 2015 10:14

Cactus Ghost: Dec 20, 2003; you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc

the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack

naem posted:

Welcome to Costco, I love you

# ? Jul 21, 2015 11:18

Blurry Gray Thing: Jun 3, 2009

Bear Retrieval Unit posted:

Checks out.

I prefer two blades. Goofy but more memorable.

# ? Jul 21, 2015 11:45

gary oldmans diary: Sep 26, 2005

Fumble posted:

I have wet shaved for 20 years and I prefer a basic 2 blade bic over all those fancy 4-5 blade things, since the blades are all so close together they get blocked up after 1 pass and you spend more time cleaning the head out each morning than you do shaving.

i spray through my razor from the back with my waterpik and its like brand new in half a second
also i am reminded to care for my gums

# ? Jul 21, 2015 12:29

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 10:24

midnightclimax: Dec 3, 2011; by XyloJW

# ? Jul 21, 2015 12:33

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Pulizer to Onion