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 What is this game? If you ever watched anybody on youtube that specializes in playing games, there's a high chance you've heard about this game. You must get from start to finish one way or another, as long as you don't die. What is this game exactly? Well, it's a motorcross-style flash game made in Box2D by Jim Bonacci that pits you as one of several characters in various vehicles as you make your way to the finish line alive. It does not matter if your ankle snapped off, if you've lost your son in a flurry of arrows, or if a land mine blew off all your limbs and sent your torso and pelvis connected by your intestines through the air, as long as you reach the finish line alive (or the level's equivalent), you win. Of course, the main charm is the over-the-top cartoon violence when you gently caress up and die in an agonizing fashion.  Your time is also recorded, down to the hundredth of a second, when you win. The fastest possible times are 00.03 of a second, and the maximum time allowed for your replay to be saved is 200 seconds. You can save your replays to share with the rest of the world once you make a free account. There's also a paid mobile version for it coming out on iPads and Androids and other stuff eventually. Jim Bonacci said the price will be about around three bucks when it's finally finished, but nothing's certain yet. An important thing to note: level quality has heavily diminished over the years thanks to the bottomless pit of children and LPers, so most of the levels are of very poor quality. The rating system has been shot, decapitated, steamrolled, incinerated, laced with salt, and shat out by an orangutang, so 5 star levels almost never live up to their rating. Generally, avoid levels such as "99999% IMPOSSIBLE", levels calling out to youtubers, naked girl levels, demo levels, and levels that consist of gibberish. Sounds fun. Can I see it in action? Here is a replay showing off how the game is played. What about the part about how you need to get to the finish line alive? Most wounds are trivial in happy wheels. Except for the obvious ones, of course. Who were those people before they got turned into burger meat? WE HAVE... Wheelchair Guy  He can use the jet engine on his wheelchair to go really fast. With a lot of practice and a lack of sharp objects lodged in his rear end he can also fly, which can result in hilariously skipping most of the level you're playing on. Segway Guy  He stands tall and proud, like an oak tree. Because of this, he is commonly found in "sword throw" levels. He can jump and his segway is surprisingly sturdy. Nothing else notable about him. Irresponsible Dad  He is the most popular character by far due to his graceful handling and his son forced to accommodate his suicidal father. You can launch your son into various obstacles, break, then pass safely, or let him get ripped apart on the seat by the bumps and bruises you'll encounter. Effective Shopper  The joke character of happy wheels, but not the worst. She has a lot of groceries in her cart(not shown)and is plagued by a bug where her wheels can get stuck in the level geometry, forcing you to jump like a jackrabbit and cover a total of three inches a second. Her fatass makes her prone to getting her head caved in. Moped Couple  A couple on a heavy moped that controls like a tank. The moped can undergo a speed boost, but only for a little bit before you have to wait for the boost to recharge. You can stop on a dime and ditch the girl any time if that tickles your fancy. Lawnmower Man  His specialty is mowing up other characters and fruit with his lawn mower, producing lots of gore. He can jump like a lot of other characters and is much more resilient than most other characters. He also goes quite fast sometimes. Explorer Guy  Worst character in the game. Handles like complete poo poo, has grave difficulty going over even small bumps, and only can only function on rails, which are almost never found. Can hide or stand up on the cart. Good character for torturing yourself with. Santa Claus  First wheel-less character in the game, and one of the best. You have two meat shields in front of you, and even if they die pulling you around, you can still operate by yourself. Santa Claus uses his magical anti-gravity powers to fly to a long time over obstacles, which is always useful. Pogostick Man  The most unorthodox of the characters, Pogostick Man operates entirely by bouncing around. Perfect timing and positioning can let you jump very, very high. His flexibility is unmatched, and can easily dodge most obstacles in the air. Sucks poo poo at slopes, so watch out. Irresponsible Mom  Pretty much Irresponsible dad, but with an extra child on the rear. Can pop them off the bike any time, and if the back extension snaps off, you have near-unlimited control over yourself. The difficulty is actually snapping off the extension and not having it crush your skull. Helicopter Man  The ultimate character for lazy players. Can fly over nearly anything. He has a magnet on his helicopter that can be raised or lowered and can pick up virtually any object with it. The blades are fragile, but excel at chopping up NPCs. All in all, find a level, pick a character, and have fun! Or you can tinker in the level editor, where all your life-long dreams can come true. As an addendum, have the fastest replay on one of the featured levels, done by me. 
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Jul 22, 2015 06:55
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 01:06 |
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