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Every year millions of Americans fall victim to our gum industrial complex. If you disagree with this statement you're a fascist who is arguing in bad faith. Anyway just yesterday I was coming home from work and got a huge wad of chewed up gum stuck on my shoe. It tasted like classic bubblegum when I tried it. poo poo was gross, who even buys that flavor anymore right? So obviously since this thing pissed me off it deserves national attention via a dying comedy forum. Here's what we do: Strict licensing for all gum purchasers: Your local PD takes a saliva swab and keeps it for their records. Then they give you a license that allows you to buy gum. Find a piece of gum thrown away on the sidewalk? Pick it up, bring it in for DNA testing, and whoever did it well you're gonna get rekt m8. Black market gum trade: won't be a problem after we institute life sentencing for illict gum purchases. Discuss.
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# ? Aug 5, 2015 08:44 |
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# ? Mar 28, 2024 17:59 |
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im gay
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# ? Aug 5, 2015 09:00 |
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Obama is coming for our gums!
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# ? Aug 5, 2015 09:04 |
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DeusExMachinima posted:Every year millions of Americans fall victim to our gum industrial complex. If you disagree with this statement you're a fascist who is arguing in bad faith. Anyway just yesterday I was coming home from work and got a huge wad of chewed up gum stuck on my shoe. Show me on this doll where the Chewlies Gum rep touched you.
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# ? Aug 5, 2015 11:34 |
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If we criminalise gum then only criminals will have gum. With their minty fresh breath we will be powerless to compete with them on the dating scene, and after a couple of generations only criminals will have reproduced and we will be living in a world genetically predisposed to criminality. is that what you want you monster
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# ? Aug 5, 2015 11:40 |
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Gum is illegal in Singapore except if you have a prescription. Food for thought.
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# ? Aug 5, 2015 11:52 |
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Yea Singapore seems a model for gum control. Pretty effective regime to cut down on this harmful and annoying product.
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# ? Aug 5, 2015 12:01 |
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Also random urine tests at airports, capital punishment for drugs, no duty-free tobacco, pornography, publications by the Jehovah’s Witnesses, furry handcuffs, Malaysian newspapers, homosexual activity, or criticizing the government. Sounds like a cool place and not a dystopic prohibitionist shitheap. I hope their president steps in some gum and has to spend hours scraping it off his jackboot.
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# ? Aug 5, 2015 12:07 |
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Gum license? Why don't you "chew" on that haha
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# ? Aug 5, 2015 12:07 |
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Guavanaut posted:Also random urine tests at airports, capital punishment for drugs, no duty-free tobacco, pornography, publications by the Jehovah’s Witnesses, furry handcuffs, Malaysian newspapers, homosexual activity, or criticizing the government. Uh this is a gum thread, dumbass. Fly away troll
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# ? Aug 5, 2015 12:10 |
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The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a gum is a good guy with a gum. They can set an example
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# ? Aug 5, 2015 12:12 |
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Fojar38 posted:im gay
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# ? Aug 5, 2015 12:16 |
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Equine Don posted:Uh this is a gum thread, dumbass. Fly away troll
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# ? Aug 5, 2015 12:19 |
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# ? Mar 28, 2024 17:59 |
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Politicians are in the pockets of Big Gum/Confectionary-Industrial-Complex, so a gum ban will never happen, even if it should.
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# ? Aug 5, 2015 13:00 |