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The Banker's Oath
Take the oath
Your fired!
View Results
 
  • Locked thread
Scapulor
Nov 21, 2005

The man with the magic scapulae
Pillbug
http://dealbook.nytimes.com/2014/12/12/netherlands-asks-bankers-to-swear-to-god/?_r=0
https://www.nibc.com/investor-relations/dutch-banking-code/bankers-oath.html

"The Banker's Oath" posted:

I swear within the boundaries of the position that I hold in the banking sector

that I will perform my duties with integrity and care;
that I will carefully balance all the interests involved in the enterprise, namely those of customers, shareholders, employees and the society in which the bank operates;
that in this balancing, I will put the interests of the customer first;
that I will behave in accordance with the laws, regulations and codes of conduct that apply to me;
that I will keep the secrets entrusted to me;
that I will make no misuse of my banking knowledge;
that I will be open and transparent, and am aware of my responsibility to society;
that I will endeavor to maintain and promote confidence in the banking system.
So truly help me God/This I declare and promise.

Sorry no checkbox poll or comedy Cucku option. Like me, you only have two options: take the oath, or you're fired.

I already made my decision. AMA

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Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012

by Fluffdaddy
who cares

Kumo
Jul 31, 2004

Flay them. Shoot them in the neck. Burn their corpses.

Fur20
Nov 14, 2007

すご▞い!
君は働か░い
フ▙▓ズなんだね!

Kumo posted:

Flay them. Shoot them in the neck. Burn their corpses.

this but feed them their own children first to cull their banker lines

Nooner
Mar 26, 2011

AN A+ OPSTER (:
Looks like someone is cruisin for a probation

red19fire
May 26, 2010

need to include a clause that they agree to be guillotined for violating the oath.

Scapulor
Nov 21, 2005

The man with the magic scapulae
Pillbug

The White Dragon posted:

this but feed them their own children first to cull their banker lines

Every single employee of any bank in the Netherlands has to take the oath or be fired, including IT, HR, and facilities management.

The idea for the oath came from the Dutch Banking Association (NVB) itself, probably to increase the supply of scapegoats.

Nooner posted:

Looks like someone is cruisin for a probation

Oh no, what did I do? :sweatdrop:

Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
i don't see anywhere in that oath that they promise to kill themselves and redistribute their assets to the people. its a bad oath

Scapulor
Nov 21, 2005

The man with the magic scapulae
Pillbug

Robo Reagan easily claims first post.

I care, Robo Reagan

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012

by Fluffdaddy
who cares that actually matters

Scapulor
Nov 21, 2005

The man with the magic scapulae
Pillbug

Robo Reagan posted:

who cares that actually matters

I just told you I do, idiot.

e: and these guys, I guess

BloombergView posted:

Meanwhile, executives at ABN Amro [...] are being criticized for behaving in a manner inconsistent with the oath. That is, six top executives of the bank got 100,000-euro pay raises (to base salaries of 707,500 euros) last year.

Scapulor fucked around with this message at 01:29 on Aug 8, 2015

Fat-Lip-Sum-41.mp3
Nov 15, 2003
i solemnly swear to take this nonbinding oath that means nothign

I am Toni Lippi
Aug 16, 2004
ah yes. The hippocratic banker's oath.

Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009

I am Toni Lippi posted:

ah yes. The hypocritical banker's oath.

Scapulor
Nov 21, 2005

The man with the magic scapulae
Pillbug

LegoPirateNinja posted:

i solemnly swear to take this nonbinding oath that means nothign

"If I break the actual law, I swear I'm okay with being judged and punished by a disciplinary board, composed of lawyers hired by banking industry execs, in secret proceedings instead of an actual judge and/or jury in a public trial."

Scapulor
Nov 21, 2005

The man with the magic scapulae
Pillbug

I am Toni Lippi posted:

ah yes. The hippocratic banker's oath.

"It's just like with doctors!" is a thing I heard come out of people's mouths at my bank.

feller
Jul 5, 2006


i vote kill yourself op, banker scum

Scapulor
Nov 21, 2005

The man with the magic scapulae
Pillbug

Omelette du Fromage posted:

i vote kill yourself op, banker scum

Not anymore. Thanks for the suggestion, though, friend!

1st_Panzer_Div.
May 11, 2005
Grimey Drawer

Scapulor posted:

http://dealbook.nytimes.com/2014/12/12/netherlands-asks-bankers-to-swear-to-god/?_r=0
https://www.nibc.com/investor-relations/dutch-banking-code/bankers-oath.html


Sorry no checkbox poll or comedy Cucku option. Like me, you only have two options: take the oath, or you're fired.

I already made my decision. AMA

Wtf is poo poo poo poo? I am a banker and have never heard of anything like this.

Scapulor
Nov 21, 2005

The man with the magic scapulae
Pillbug

1st_Panzer_Div. posted:

Wtf is poo poo poo poo? I am a banker and have never heard of anything like this.

Only in the Netherlands so far. Australia, too, but not mandatory, I guess.

You'll hear about it soon enough.

Then you'll hear it repeated from your own mouth shortly thereafter. Statistically speaking, of course.

e: trap sprung

Scapulor fucked around with this message at 02:06 on Aug 8, 2015

ghlbtsk
Apr 19, 2005

these bath mats
are
GORGEOUS
"I am a liar and promise not to break the rules."
*breaks the rules*
"HAHAHAHAHA you should see your faces right now HAHAHAHAHAHA"

chaosbreather
Dec 9, 2001

Wry and wise,
but also very sexual.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sor9GzivGbk

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Scapulor
Nov 21, 2005

The man with the magic scapulae
Pillbug
*raises right hand*

I swear to really suck our shareholders' dicks, like, so hard. Like, really get in there, squeeze the balls a little bit, maybe a nice prostate massage. I'd prefer not to have anything in my butt, though, if at all possi... what's that? Really? Oh. Oh, I see. Well, okay, that's fine then I guess.

Oh, and some bullshit about customers.

So Help Me God

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