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Ghogargi posted:And she messaged a bunch of her furry friends saying she was going to kill herself. Not a single loving one of them called 911. All of them sent melodramatic texts begging her not to do it, flipping out, keening and wailing and all sorts of utter bullshittery. I hate them. I loving hate them because I know from experience they don't give a single poo poo about my daughter. They were feasting on the drama. If they really cared, they had her cell phone number and they could've called 911 and gave dispatch her name and number. Once I was on video chat with a bunch of people and one claimed they were going to commit suicide. After telling them not to, they walked away from their computer and I let their local 911 operator know about it. After several questions I couldn't answer like their location, a landline phone, even a street or something they told me they couldn't do anything at all without the address. So I hung up, and just hoped that person came back to the computer and they did. To put it another way, do you really want random furries on the internet to have your daughter's address? 
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Oct 25, 2016 18:20
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Skunkrocker posted:Once I was on video chat with a bunch of people and one claimed they were going to commit suicide. After telling them not to, they walked away from their computer and I let their local 911 operator know about it. After several questions I couldn't answer like their location, a landline phone, even a street or something they told me they couldn't do anything at all without the address. So I hung up, and just hoped that person came back to the computer and they did. To put it another way, do you really want random furries on the internet to have your daughter's address? I know several of them have her addrss because she's ordered art from them and it's been sent here. I mean, yeah, I'd prefer they didn't, but it was the dramatic keenings that infuriated me.
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Oct 25, 2016 18:33
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My heart goes out to you, Ghogargi. What a tough spot to be in; none of us want to see our kids repeat our mistakes. For what it's worth from an internet stranger, I think it is fantastic that you are taking the steps you're taking. I don't want to play internet psychologist (I don't play one in real life either) so please take this for what it is...I want to try to encourage you somehow. I work with a lot of families and I tell parents this all the time: You are going to screw your kids up, no matter what. They will need counseling because of some of the things you do, no matter how good your intentions are. Through your best efforts and your failures you're going to make mistakes as a parent that have a big impact on your kids. Even some of the things you do right will have some negative impact on them. Some people, including myself, find that sort of thing comforting. None of us will be perfect parents, and our dysfunctions don't just disappear. In some ways, you're a bad parent. In some ways, you're a great parent. The fact that you've identified and are addressing some of the mistakes you've made, and doing so with honesty and humility with your daughter, is massive. Most parents never get there.
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Oct 25, 2016 19:04
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Ghogargi posted:Thank you for the advice. She and I have started joint counseling, and the focus has been how she's going down the same path I did. I think it's hard for her to accept it, because adolescents by nature want to state unequivocally that they are nothing like their parents. But we're slogging away at it. Take some comfort from the fact that you got through it and out of it. Hopefully your daughter can too. I hope it all works out.
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Oct 26, 2016 07:05
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She comes home tomorrow and we're gonna get to work. Everyone's in therapy and on meds. Thank you, guys, for the kindness and advice. It helps tremendously.
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Oct 26, 2016 19:08
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Ghogargi posted:She comes home tomorrow and we're gonna get to work. Everyone's in therapy and on meds. Thank you, guys, for the kindness and advice. It helps tremendously. This is so wonderful. All the best to you all!
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Oct 28, 2016 15:36
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Ghogargi, I just want you to know that I grew up with a parent with serious untreated mental illness. My childhood was pretty lovely in a lot of ways because of it, and I developed some pretty scary mental health issues because of it, as did my siblings. But I want you to know that my mom eventually got the treatment she needed, and so did we all, and now I'm fine, I have a great life, and my relationship with my mom is pretty good. You can't change what you were like or what you were going through when your daughter was small, but you're doing all the right stuff now. If you guys work hard and work together you can build a good life for yourselves.
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Oct 29, 2016 16:56
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I think one of the best things we can give our children, collectively, is showing them when we screw up, that we try to improve, and not to give up. I see you showing that to your daughter every day right now. I am so very impressed with you.
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Oct 29, 2016 16:58
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Y'all are amazing. I know the next few months will suck, but I have real hope that things can get better if we work very hard.
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Oct 31, 2016 16:36
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Holy... this thread took a dark turn . I can't really add much to the discussion here, so add just another internet stranger hoping the best for you and your family. From what you've said, it is clear that even if bad things happened along the way, you really love your daughter, and that is already the biggest and most important thing in the path to recovery for both of you. So keep going strong. My heart goes out to you.
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Oct 31, 2016 20:41
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