Torrannor posted:You should immediately stop playing that game and never start again, Indiana Jones 4 was terrible. We shouldn't be helping in making it, even if it's just a game. Sadly, the dirty deed has already been done, I've already beaten the game. We are all to blame now, but we can also push the blame on the creators of the game.
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Dec 3, 2015 22:54
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Update III - It's Like Poetry. Sort Of. They Rhyme. So, after not doing much of anything in Poland beyond learning a few things that will end up coming in handy some time down the line, let's head on out to our next location, Wyoming, to meet Harrison Ford and hopefully convince him to start work on Indy 4.  Music - Wyoming: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJCIvciSl0U And here we are! What do we see? >Look at squirrel  An animal which is not able to create nuclear weapons due to his brain size. Wouldn't it be good, if we were all squirrels?That's deep. >Look at mount Easy to find, hard to climb.I don't think you use "mount" to refer to a mountain unless it's part of its name. >Look at ranch Beautiful private property in the heart of Wyoming.>Look at strange man (that little blob of pixels in the middle) A real fashion trendsetter with an old face.>Look at Harrison Ford He got older, but his girl friend is good for him.>Look at cocktail This must be an original Copacatukan-Coco-Cocktail. (Try to say it fast!)And because it worked so well the first time... >Talk to squirrel I don't speak squirrelish!Alright, so all of those at home taking notes, Udy is fluent in frogish, but doesn't speak squirrelish. There will be a test at the end of this LP. Anyway, let's get going with what we're actually supposed to be doing. >Talk to Harrison Ford  Harrison, I like your ranch. I like it too! That's why I live here. Who's the guy in your garden? Oh, that's a strange guy who claims that this land belongs to his tribe. Why are you sitting outside of your property? Because I can't go back to my property! What's the problem? There's a strange guy claiming this land for his tribe who has been blocking the way back to my house.So the problem we're going to have to solve for Ford is that we need to get rid of some Native American guy staging some kind of sit-in protest because he's blocking Ford from getting to his house. Sure, why not. Mr. Ford, what about the fourth Indiana Jones movie? Well guy, you know. You're young but I'm over sixty! Even in 1988 while doing Indiana Jones and the last crusade my back hurted and hurted. May I massage your back? Are you gay? My sexuality is not specified in this game.Please consider this when writing your erotic fanfiction I'm sure you've already got lined up. Come on. My dad looked like you with 35! Really? He was also an international movie idol? No, he was working in Germay 1944. Oh. But WOULD you generally do a fourth Indy? Yes, but for that I would have to get up. And? And getting up is very exhausting. Why? Because my bones are aching and my cell division is becoming slower and slower. And? And slower. My cell division is running very fast at the moment! That's because you're talking to an international idol. Good night, Harrison. Sleep well. I'm not tired enough to leave you alone with my property.He says that, but... Come on, Harrison! Don't be lazy! Wake up! <snore> He sleeps. I can't believe it.As you might have noticed, there is also a second problem we need to solve with Ford, and that is that he is one lazy-rear end old motherfucker. However, waking him up is not a major problem. >Talk to Harrison Ford  Wake up, Harrison! OR There's three-headed buffalo in your garden! <snore>As is standard, telling somebody to wake up doesn't actually wake them up. However... Sweet dreams, Harrison. What? He then wakes up and chugs down some of his cocktail. That might be relevant later. For now, that's all we can do with Harrison, so let's move on to the strange man and see how we can get rid of him. >Talk to strange man   Out of my way! This is not your way! Who are you? OR Why are you blocking the way to Mr. Ford's house? I'm a product of nature. I human being who was born in a world full of forests, animals, mountains and a few ranches. My name is Aylen. I'm a Delaware native american. And my question is: What's more important than money? It's more important that you let me pass now! The answer is wrong! My name is Raunes from Germany. I've no question. The answer is wrong! What a stupid pseudo-spiritual question! The answer is interesting... but wrong! The answer is... The answer is what? That's due to the personal desires of individuals. The answer is wrong!We're going to have to be going around on a spiritual journey to figure out the answer to this question. Now, we have one more thing to do here. We found a hard nut in the forest at the beginning of the game, and there's a squirrel here, so... >Give nut to squirrel  >Pick up squirrel tooth  >Look at squirrel tooth It's disgusting to carry it with me. But it might be useful.Of course it might be useful. It's an item you can pick up, and while this game does love useless inventory items, usually, they're not items you had to work something out for. That's all we can do in Wyoming right now...  ...so now we're off to the Skywalker ranch!  Music - Skywalker Ranch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1CVWGTlZVE We find ourselves on a movie set with George Lucas hard at work. Time to look around! >Look at big fold (to the left of R2-D2) This fold is a little too big to be just a fold.>Look at R2D2 Oh, this must be C3PO! dumbass!>Look at battery compartment (a part of R2-D2) Cool! R2D2 is driven by normal 1.5V batteries!>Look at camera This is a Sony-DigiCam. But they didn't give us money for this effective product placement.>Look at George Lucas This is George Lucas, creator of... "Howard, the Duck".Whenever we make any sort of move...  Sir, please leave the set!...Lucas yells at us, but doesn't actually do anything, so we can just walk around as much as we want. So of course, the first thing to do... >Talk to R2D2  Yes, this is going to be good. Beep! Bleep! Bleep? Beedeldibeedeldibleep! Eep! Bleep! Blibeep! Beep! Bimberg! Bimberg?!? Bleep! Blibeep! Beedeldibeedeldibleep! Eep! Bluup!Now wasn't that enlightening? Next, let's take a closer look at that fold. >Pick up big fold  Turns out that that big fold was actually some mad stacks! >Look at money The stuff dreams are made of! Or better: ...are paid of.So now we've got money to buy something in the store in Poland with, which is good. To cap things off, let's talk to Lucas. >Talk to George Lucas  Georgeboy, nice to meet you again. I don't know you... and I think I don't want to. I can't believe it! You're George Lucas! And I believe that you're part of an unlicensed Indiana Jones (TM) fan game!Thankfully, suing the fan game out of existence would also remove this Lucas from existence, so we're safe. Mr. Lucas, please let me introduce myself. All right. Go on. My name is Udoiana Raunes, german teacher with global interest. My name is George Lucas, movie director with merchandise interests! My name is Raunes. My friends call me Udoiana. My name is Lucas. I call my dog Indiana. I sell these wonderful old-fashioned leather jackets. Wonderful! I take twelve... for my new Indy Movie. What's the delivery address? It's Elstree Studios, London, Hall I. Great, that means you confirm that Indy 4 will be made? Only if we get a good screenplay. I've written a wonderful story taking place in New Zealand, Tunisia and Alaska. A lot of screenwriters worked on it, but up to now we have no completed screenplay. Who's actually working on it? That's top secret! When will the production start? We have no schedule yet. Come on, stop Star Wars and do Indy! I would if I had a completed screenplay!And back to the first part: George, what are you up to? I'm doing Star Wars Episode XVII: Star Wars - Galaxy in flames! It will be a wonderful movie! But there's nobody here! OR But there's nothing between the camera and the green screen. That's the trick! It's all virtual: The film, the actors, the set and the team. It's a new generation of moviemaking in history! You just need a camera, yourself, a green screen and Industrial Light and Magic for the special effects! But why do you film an empty green screen? Because the special effect team of ILM needs a base for their awesome work! Don't you feel lonesome? No, I'm like a Jedi: Always alone, but always empowered by the force! When is the release date for the movie? In about 3 to 4 years. I have to get all the different angles of the set. There's still a lot of work. And I have to concentrate on it right now. That's a good idea. So you don't have any problems on the set. My only problem is the small bump on the right close to R2D2.Well, we've taken care of that. Why don't you make the fourth Indiana Jones movie instead? The problem of the fourth Indiana Jones movie is that we don't have a good screenplay. I've written a wonderful story taking place in New Zealand, Tunisia and Alaska. A lot of screenwriters worked on it, but up to now we have no completed screenplay.And then it loops into the section above. That's about it for this part - we learned that Lucas actually wants to make Indy 4, but doesn't have a screenplay, which we're probably going to have to get for him. R2D2 is just bleeping and blooping at us, but he has a battery compartment which is important for some reason. Also, we found some cash, which is definitely going to come in handy. Now, some odds and ends: >Pick up camera I won't do that. George definitely has some well-paid lawyers in his company.>Open door (yes, the door all the way over to the right is actually a thing) It's locked. I need a key.So that's going to be another thing we need to keep an eye out for. And using the squirrel tooth as a lockpick didn't work. Back to the airport!  You will notice that a new location has opened up. Somehow, just because Lucas mentioned Tunisia as a location, we can now go there. I presume Alaska and New Zealand also opened up as locations, but sadly, they're not on the world map, so that's not going to happen. So, with that, we're done for this time. Next time, we're going to be dealing with Lucas's problem, checking out the new location and doing some new things in the old ones.
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Dec 3, 2015 22:54
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Update IV - The Mix-And-Match School Of Scriptwriting Alright, who's ready to actually accomplish something? I sure am. We're back in Poland, and now that we actually have money, we can now purchase a battery! No idea what we need a battery for, but we do. >Give money to strange window I take a battery, please. Thank you. And don't forget to visit our online-shop: https://www.one-pixel-shop.com And now we have a battery! However... >Look at empty battery Cool, it's a rechargeable battery. But of course, it's empty.So we need to charge this battery. We don't know why we need to charge it because we don't know what we need it for, but I'm fairly sure that an empty battery isn't going to be much use to anybody. Now, where did we see something relating to batteries?  R2-D2 here had a battery compartment, and it used regular batteries, so maybe this could work. >Open battery compartment I can't open it without a tool.Well, we don't have a tool, but maybe this will do... >Use squirrel tooth with battery compartment  Bingo. But the tooth is destroyed.Good, one less item to have to rub on absolutely everything once I get stuck. Now, let's get that sucker in there. >Use empty battery with battery compartment  Damnit, Lucas, quit yelling at me. I'm trying to solve your screenplay issue... I think. Not sure what charging a battery through R2-D2 is going to help in reaching that goal, but whatever, baby steps. OK, now how do we actually charge the battery? I take the battery out and it's still empty, so just putting it in doesn't solve the problem. We can't use R2-D2, so maybe we just have to ask him? >Talk to R2D2  Hm, we have a new option, but probably not caused by us putting a battery in, but by getting the quest from Lucas. R2, I wish you could tell me something about the Indy screenplay. Psssst! It's not allowed to talk about it! You can TALK? Come on, man. Read the credits. My name is Kenny Baker. I'm the star of the R2D2-Character in all Star Wars movies. I'm the only human being on the set of Episode XVII. Is R2 your surname or your first name? Yes. Aha. Why didn't you talk to me before? I thought, YOU can't talk. R2, can you charge my battery. Are you crazy? I'm an actor! Do you know what an actor is? An actor is NOT a battery charger! But why do you have a battery compartment? This is my only connection to the world outside. Tell me more about the Indy4 script. There's a secret chamber in the skywalker library where you will find your answer. Psssst! What answer will I find there? Psssst! Is the script already finished? Psssst! Psssst! How do I find the secret chamber? Just use the key and go right. Good luck! And now we have a key! Pretty sure that's the same key asset from the first game, but when you're already reusing the entire engine despite it being eight years later, some art asset reuse is to be expected. >Look at key The secret key to a secret chamber. But keep it secret!>Use key with door Now the door is open.>Open door  Music - Skywalker Library: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_49Y68uSuco Here we are, in the Skywalker library! What can we see? >Look at exit (what Raunes is looking at in the picture) Back to the set of George and his green crew.>Look at Jeff (the guy in the blue shirt) This man is really concentrated.>Look at Jeffrey (the guy in the red shirt) His nose looks a little french.>Look at spiral staircase It's the same spiral staircase as in the library of Venice in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.>Look at bookshelf (on the two sides, numbered 1 through 4, but the description is the same for 1 through 3) A shelf full of scripts, screenplays and other film stuff.>Look at bookshelf 4 Star Wars Episode XI, Episode XII, Episode XIII... but nothing related to adventure!>Look at greencard (over on the left, hidden in the bookcase) Looks like a little green piece of plastic.And it also looks like an important item! >Pick up greencard  >Look at greencard It's the passport to the land of freedom.Hm, don't we know somebody that's trying to get to the USA? Best remember that for later. >Look at Jeb (the guy in the foreground) This man looks like a mummy.Yeah, he looks like he's seen better days. All the exclamation points in the world couldn't bring excitement to this guy. Man, first the Trump in the forest and now Jeb! here. This is going to turn out to be a production of the Kasich Super-PAC in the end, isn't it? They already cornered the market on political Pac-Man. Wooo, topical! >Look at globe (bottom right hand corner of the screen) The globe is covered in dust.Can we take it? >Pick up globe The world is too big for me.What a shame. >Look at book (next to the globe) This book is older than 15 years.Is this the script? Can we take it? >Pick up book It's just decoration.I guess that would have been too simple. Alright, let's go talk to the people around here. >Talk to Jeff  You have a really strange face. And you have a really strange way to find friends! Why are you guys sitting around here? That's top secret! That's top secret! That's top secret! What kind of strange vault is that here? This is Lucasfilm's creative library. We are three scree... Psst! Psst! ...working on the Ind... Psst! ...scree... Psst! Hm, I wonder what they're doing here. Could you give me a little more detailed information? I love to write scenes in Tunisia! Everybody here has his own favourite location.Let's just jot that down - Jeff writes scenes in Tunisia. Psst! At night it's colder than in Alaska.You know, that might be a hint towards Tunisia being his favorite place, but that would be kind of strange, given that he flat-out tells us that part in a different dialogue option. YOU'RE WORKING ON THE INDIANA JONES 4 SCREENPLAY HERE! Psst! Psst! Psst!I'm guessing there's going to be a puzzle involved here somehow. Let's go talk to the other two. >Talk to Jeffrey  What are you working on? On a top secret script called IJ4... Psst! But that's top secret!Nobody can really keep a secret here, can they? May I have a look at your work? No. It's top secret! You look very busy. I'm too busy! They didn't let me out since 1993! I'm working on the Indy-Script... Psst! Everybody here is working on the Indy-Script. And, what's your task? My task is to write one of the three key scenes of the planned movie. You will find my best scene in shelf 2. It takes place south of the adventure scene.OK, let's jot that down too, Jeffrey's scene is in shelf 2 and is south of the adventure scene. Are you working against each other or as a team? Due to the fact that we are here since 1993 we learned to complement one another. Everybody's working on one of the key scenes of the movie. Everybody has his own shelf and always puts his best work into it. My shelf is number 2.So that's all we're getting out of Jeffrey here. Moving on... >Talk to Jeb (!)  Why are you not working at the table with the others? I'm thifferent! Thifferent than what? ...dan de oders!I guess he's become so dried up that he's developed a speech impediment. Can you tell me something about the screenplay? I can'd dell you someding aboud dad sdory in pardicular. Bud generally a good screenplay for a good hollywood movie consisds of an advendure scene, an acdion scene, and a love scene.That sounds like a very odd rule, but I guess we're going to be following it. Would you like to come up with me and enjoy the sun? No, firsd we have do ged dis chaos here sdraighd. You know, we're working here for more dan den years. And we god a liddle crazy here. We are wriding and wriding and wriding... somedimes good, somedimes bad, somedimes bedder, and no one really knows where we pud our besd scenes. Bud we are sdill wriding. Isn't dad crazy? With this logic, you will never complete the screenplay! I agree. That's really crazy! Dere should be a person who organizes our chaos.And that person is going to be us? But do you remember where your own best scene is? I don'd remember. Bud I'm preddy sure dad my scene isn'd sdored in shelf 3. And I know dad my scene and de love scene are not with locadion in New Zealand. Dese are de only dings I remember.Right, so that's all we're getting out of all three writers. Time to go solve a puzzle! We have to find three best scenes based on writer, location, type and the shelf they're on. Here's the information we have: - Jeff: Scene takes place in Tunisia. - Jeffrey: Scene is on shelf 2, takes place south of the adventure scene. - Jeb: Scene is not in shelf 3, scene does not take place in New Zealand. Also, the love scene does not take place in New Zealand. From that point on, it's just a simple logic puzzle. - Jeffrey is in 2, Jeb is not in 3 => Jeff is in 3, Jeb is in 1 (since 4 is just Star Wars stuff). That's one down right off the bat. - Jeffrey is south of adventure scene, Jeff is in Tunisia => Jeffrey is in New Zealand, Jeb is in Alaska (since we know those three locations from Lucas). Another one down. Also, we now know Jeb is the adventure scene, since New Zealand is south of Alaska. - Finally, we know the love scene does not take place in New Zealand, leaving only Tunisia for it, leaving only the action scene for New Zealand. And now we can go pick up the pieces. >Look at bookshelf 1 Ok, let's see... I'm looking for... ...the adventure scene... taking place at... ...Alaska... written by... ...Jeb. Then we simply repeat the process...  ...for bookshelf 2...  ...and bookshelf 3! We now have all three scenes together! >Look at adventure scene That's a really thrilling adventure scene for Indy4!>Look at action scene That's a really bloody action scene for Indy4!>Look at love scene That's a really romantic love scene for Indy4!Only one thing left to do... >Use adventure scene with action scene  >Look at incomplete screenplay It matches perfectly. But there's still a scene missing.>Use love scene with incomplete screenplay  Music - Script Complete: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CtDTfomrSVc Is this really true? Do I have the real Indy4 script in my hands? That's cinematographic history! Yeah yeah yeah!>Look at Indy4 screenplay It's thrilling, romantic and funny! The perfect combination after more than 15 years.Alright! One problem down, two to go! Now let's get this to Lucas!  >Give Indy4 screenplay to George Lucas Oh, this is a really wonderful Indy4 script! Ok, I stop shooting Star Wars right now and start producing Indiana Jones 4. See you on the set! And there we go, we got one of the three people we need to get to start working on the movie! Next time, we'll start making progress towards the other two and go to check out the set on location in Tunisia - next time, not, as I previously thought, in this update.
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Dec 12, 2015 23:18
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Update V - Drugging People Since 1997 Alright, so, last time, we convinced George Lucas to work on Indy 4 by assembling the script for him and finally freeing the scriptwriters he had locked up in his library for years on end. This time, let's go back to the last few areas and see what we can see, and ask around for the answer to that "what's more important than money" question. First stop: Germany.  Nothing new here, at least from what we can tell by looking at things with our eyeballs. Now, let's ask around a bit. >Talk to fan  New dialogue! You are hanging here for one hour, 34 minutes and 11 seconds!! Why are you telling me this? Go on.And as you might imagine, when we talk to him again...  ...the time has increased! I'm not entirely sure whether this counts the amount of time you've been playing the game from the start, or the amount of time you've been playing the game from when the fan first showed up, and I'm not going to be going around with a stopwatch to check. How are you up there? Oh, well, you know... extremely bad!I would say so! You've been hanging for one and a half hours and the standard asphyxiation death from hanging takes about twenty minutes at most! I suspect foul play at work! Are there any news? There are just some strange animals visiting me and a very very ugly old man. I'm really scared!This sounds like a reference to something, but I can't work it out. Do you know what's more important than money? Sich nicht haengen lassen! What did you say? Sorry, that was German. The creators forgot to translate it. So that's the reason there probably never was a German translation. This one-shot joke about an untranslated line. And because gently caress your joke, I'm going to translate it anyway. "Sich nicht hängen lassen" literally means "don't let yourself get hung/hanged" (we still have the ambiguity between "just hanging around" and "death by hanging"), but can also mean "don't let yourself down" in the way that "etwas hängen lassen" can mean "to let something down". Furthermore, "den Kopf nicht hängen lassen", literally "not letting your head hang", used in the imperative (as in "don't let your head hang!"), is a well-meant encouragement phrase, along the lines of "pick yourself back up and keep going". It's a nuanced phrase, but the main reason it's here is because of the hanged/hung distinction. Not hanging yourself is probably more important than money, I'd say. Money doesn't really help in that situation unless you hire a butler that follows you at all times that saves you with the hedge trimmers he keeps on him at all times. Then again, why would he be there if you're either being hanged by somebody else that wants you dead or if you want yourself dead? Hmm... this is confusing me. Quick, to the next character! >Talk to Frog King  Only one new option here. Do you know what's more important than money? The kiss from the right woman. Quooaak!I guess that was a predictable answer. That's all we're doing here for now. Though before we leave, I'd like to point out that the item I missed is still sitting somewhere on that screen. Do you see it? Now, off to Poland!  One particular thing to do here, but first, let's get some opinions on our important question. >Talk to Pole  What's your job? I'm a lonesome trader. I'm the man for the very special things!Since the first screen already had four dialogue options, we need to go into this part to find what we're looking for.  By the way, what's more important than money? That's easy! Connections to the right people are the most important thing.>Talk to Steven Spielberg  What is more important than money? More important than money... is the time in your life to do the things that are worth living for.We're collecting some nice answers here. Also, while we're here, the Pole wanted to go to America, and we just so happen to have something for him to achieve that! >Give greencard to Pole Oh, I can't believe it! You pay me with the American Dream! That's better than dollars. Well, what are these special things you have to offer? Don't try it yourself... but try it with others. Haha. And as a special add-on you get these high quality... ...created 1997 in the caribbean sea. Seems so familiar to me.Gee, ya think? >Look at strange pills Made by the grooving devil in Morocco....come again? The grooving devil? Morocco? The gently caress are you talking about, Raunes? >Look at albatross beak scissors Strange invention... a nail combined with an albatros beak. Maybe I should detach it.Uh, OK? >Detach albatross beak scissors  And just like in the first game, it comes apart and returns to being its two constituent parts. >Look at albatross beak The last remains of a lucky albatross.Surely you mean "unlucky". >Look at nail A nail: Ugly, small, sharp and useful.So, more items to throw on the pile. Guess it's a decent enough haul. Next stop: Wyoming!  As we show up, Ford is still sleeping, the ideal opportunity to test our drugs on him! >Use strange pills with cocktail And now, all we need to do is wake him up again. >Talk to Harrison Ford Sweet dreams, Harrison. What? And once again he chugs down some of his cocktail. But this time... Oh yeah! I feel better now. Much better. In a way better than ever before!>Talk to Harrison Ford Mr. Ford, what about the fourth Indiana Jones movie? Indy4?!? Great! I feel like 35 today! Let's begin right now! Immediately! Ok, come with me. Ah, no. Is Sean Connery in the cast too? Should he? Yes, I'd love to have him in the movie. Where can I find him? I think he's in London at the moment. Go find and convince him.drat. And here I thought we could trim this down to one out of three left, but no, we've jumped to two out of four left. Well, more three out of four left - we've convinced Ford by pumping him full of drugs, but I have the suspicion that that guy keeping him from entering his house is going to be a problem we have to solve beforehand as well. And speaking of him, let's see what he thinks of our answers (just skipping forward to that part): The answer is... The answer is what? Time is more important than money! The answer is wrong! A kiss from the right girl! The answer is wrong! Connections are more important than money! The answer is wrong! Sich nicht haengen lassen! The answer is German... aber falsch!And as you might expect, "aber falsch" means "but wrong". drat, looks like there's no progress on this front. Back to the airport it is.  You'll note that a new location has opened up - London. However, we won't be going there just yet, let's check out Tunisia first.  Music - Tunisia: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMwBU2q1kJM That sure is a whole lot of nothing. >Look at strange house This look like a building from Tatooine.Well, that's because it is, of course. >Look at George Lucas George Lucas, ready for the Indy4 shoot!>Talk to George Lucas  George, what are we waiting for? As soon as we're all togeter here, I'll give Indy4 a Go. Don't you miss your green screen? It's pretty similar here. The desert is like the green screen. You can add a lot of things afterwards. Do you remember this place? Yes, this is the place of the two suns of Tatooine when I was young and thin and was still wearing those overdimensional glasses.And now, because it was so great the first time around... >Walk to strange house ...it's time to do that Monkey Island bit again! Raunes disappears in the house and we're off to the races! Oh, it's dark here... and it smells like nobody has cleaned the room since 1976.>Look at room I can't see anything!>Touch everything Iiihh! What's that?>Pick up soft thing  >Sneak to strange shadow That feals very human.>Pick up strange shadow ???: Ouch! Hey!! It's alive!>Leave tent with broken star wars fan ???: Feel my force! (punch, punch) <Star Wars fan hits you for 7 life points.> He's attacking me!>Look around for weapons I can't find anything!???: (punch, punch) <Star Wars fan hits you for 14 life points.> >Quickly eat fruit I feel better now.>Attack fan with whip That doesn't work.>Search for better weapons I can't find anything!>Find lightsaber  Must been from 1976 or older.<Zzzzzzaaazzzzoooommmm!> ???: Argh! Oops, the fan lost his head.>Flee from strange house Let me out here!>Stumble across gadget Oh, it's a PDA. And there we go. We're now three items richer, and one in particular, the PDA, seems like it'd be exactly what we need to solve one of our problems, that being Spielberg's need for a tool to organize himself with. However... >Look at PDA Great and useful, but useless without a battery.Well, we do have a battery, but it's still not charged. >Look at lightsaber A piece of high-tec from a galaxy far far away.That should come in handy. >Look at chewbacca fur It's a piece of Chewbacca. But where's the rest?Now, I pretty much instantly got the idea on how to solve the battery issue - for just one moment, it was like the spirit of Roberta Williams visited me and gave me adventure game power. Sadly, it didn't last, and I spent a lot of time loving around with other problems later, but that's for further updates. Have you got an idea on how to solve the battery problem? Well, here's how we do it.  First, we head back to the Skywalker Ranch. And from there, it's pretty simple: >Use empty battery with battery compartment >Use chewbacca fur with R2D2 Ok, I rub the chewbacca fur against R2D2... <Bzzzz> Ouch! That's electric! Oh cool, the fur has electrostatically charged R2D2!>Pick up battery  And there we go! >Look at full battery As a child I've always eaten them. Backing away slowly now...>Use full battery with PDA  >Use PDA with batteries I'm absolutely organized. I don't need it.Well, you don't, but we know somebody who does! To Poland!  >Give PDA with batteries to Steven Spielberg Thank you. That makes it easy for me to reorganize my schedule and find a date for doing Indy 4. So tell me your date for Indy. Hm. Perhaps in the next four to eight years. Or later... Or today... TODAY! Ok.And that's it! Two down, two to go! And sure enough, when we head back to Tunisia...  Spielberg is there and ready to go! >Talk to Steven Spielberg How is it to direct a fourth Indy after more than 15 years? It's great to return to those wonderful adventures of the 80s. How's your PDA? It's working very well. Now I feel organized... and ready for Indy!Alright, we're making some good progress - we now have two out of four people needed for production to start (at least that's the amount of people we hope it's going to be, not that we're going to have to find an entire set of extras or something)! Next time, we're headed for jolly old London to try and get Sean Connery to get on board so we can get Harrison Ford on board, all the while searching for the meaning of life or what's more important than money or whatever that poo poo is. TheMcD fucked around with this message at 15:04 on Dec 19, 2015 |
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Dec 19, 2015 02:39
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I can't believe they brought back the albatross beak scissors.
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Dec 21, 2015 02:10
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No, not a PDA! They have terrible handwriting recognition!
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Dec 28, 2015 03:01
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I'm guessing the albatross is supposed to be "lucky" because it was killed by an rear end in a top hat captain and was cursed for his efforts. It's a reference to the Rime of thr Ancient Mariner. Also man these games are really, really something.
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Dec 28, 2015 18:19
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Update VI - The Fall Is A Metaphor, You See So, we've got our marching orders, and those orders take us to London.  Music - London: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dt01BP2X0kY Here we are, on top of some building with Sean Connery and some girl standing at the ledge. So what can we see? >Look at swimming pool That's pure luxury, especially in London.>Look at rubber duck My mum gave me a rubber duck like this when I was 14.>Pick up rubber duck  OK, I really thought that would work. I try using items and stumble across this: >Use lightsaber Not yet. I'm not a Jedi.So now we have not one, but two items we can't use at all. Aces. >Look at River Thames Too dirty to jump today.>Look at Big Ben Everybody knows it. Everybody has a photo of it.>Look at London Skyline A cool sight of London.>Look at blonde beauty This beautifully drawn blond lady is my dream.>Look at Sean Connery Sean seems to be just before his biggest step.>Talk to blonde beauty  You're beautiful! Thank you very much. I am. I like the way to stand on the roof. I practiced it for a long time. May I practise with you? Maybe. Are you a modelcaster? Yes, modelcaster and photographer. Rubenstein is my name. Oh, great, great! I've heard about you! You're very beautiful, too. I like your smile, your sexy nose and the way you look at me so alluringly. I stay at Dorchester hotel, penthouse room, room nr. 69. I'll await you at 11 pm. Is that too early for you?Oh god room number 69 are you loving with me here. Also, this will never go anywhere, as you can clearly see that time never actually advances in this game. Well, time advances in that there is movement, but the sun never moves or anything, so it's like the earth has stood still. Don't think about the implications of that. Nope, just an adventure game hero. Oh. Did you really practise? Yes, for twenty-seven days and three hours... on this roof... next to my wonderful film partner Sean Connery... and practice is still going on.No respect, no respect at all.  Why don't you stop practising? OR How many days will this go on? I'm waiting for Sean until he feels ready to jump into the River Thames. I'll do it soon! Why jump from a roof into a river? This is the last remaining scene of the brand-new James Bond movie - Too Old To Die Tomorrow - in which Sean rescues me and jumps off the roof. Do you have to jump with him? You seem Too Young To Die Today! Yes, I have to. But that's not the problem. The whole team has been waiting for Sean for twenty-seven days and three hours.So that's our problem - Sean simply doesn't want to make a jump to complete a movie, and as long as that movie isn't completed, he can't work on Indy 4. Your eyes are like fish in the River Thames at nightfall. Thank you very much. Are you a modelcaster?And it goes the same way as above from there. >Talk to Sean Connery  You seem to be Sean Connery. I AM Sean Connery. And I don't know you. What are you doing? I'm completing the last scene of my latest movie. For twenty-seven days and three hours. Sean, why don't you jump off the roof right now? I'll do it! I'll do it! I'm fit enough! Why don't you take a stuntman? I'm young enough to do all stunts by myself! May I double you? You could, but I'll do all stunts by myself! Would you do a fourth Indiana Jones movie after that? Sure, but first I have to complete this movie with the following stunt, which I'll do by myself.I get the feeling he's more trying to convince himself than us. Sean, do you have a problem? OR Please don't jump! Life is not that bad! Don't bother me. I'm working! I'm working, too! I'm working, three! My grandfather was a chimney sweeper! I could never be a chimney sweeper! Why? I have terrible acrophobia. Oh acrophobia! And you don't worry about your current position? Don't worry about me, I'm feeling, you know... a little -uh- in a kind... very good. Is the girl next to you working too? No, I save her life! Really? It's just a movie! Don't you see the cameraman in the river? Don't you see the director in the boat? Don't you see the cable guy under the truck? Don't you see the producer in the helicopter? What exactly are you doing? We are making a movie! Can't you see that? I can't see that. Are you blind? Don't you see the cameraman in the river? Don't you see the director in the boat? Don't you see the cable guy under the truck? Don't you see the producer in the helicopter? Who's the director? OR What's the title of the movie? That's top secret! Where's the director? Exactly 143 feet beneath us.And thus, we have come to the first part where I really got stuck. I had no idea how to get Connery to jump or how to get at that rubber duck. And no, "push Sean Connery" wouldn't work - at least I assume it wouldn't, since the solution I found had nothing to do with that. So I went flying around a whole bunch, went to the Skywalker ranch and library, Wyoming and Poland without finding anything. I did the whole "rub a whole bunch of items on things" thing in London and nothing happened either. Then I discovered something else by accident.  Alternatively, you could also get "GREAT JUMP, SEAN! But you are not Sean!". Either way, they're not happy with us just doing the stunt for him. So I gently caress around some more, and then this happened.  What the gently caress was that? Did they just expect us to try getting the duck in a certain spot, and only accepted that one duck position as the "correct" position to get the duck from? Well, we have the duck now, and that's good. >Look at rubber duck It looks like there's something inside. Are rubber ducks able to eat?>Use nail with rubber duck Oh, I lanced the duck. But I blunted the nail. But there's something in it: An ugly photo, and an icky ring. Hm, that photo looks familiar. >Look at lanced rubber duck I will repair it in the next Udoiana Raunes game.>Look at promise ring There's something engraved: Kocham Cie!I wonder what that means. Hm. Anyway, it's Polish, which points towards a certain somebody. >Look at picture That guy on the photo looks a little eastern european.>Give promise ring to blond beauty My old Polish lover gave me this ring. But I used to hide it in my blonde rubber duck because it's not good for business.>Give picture to blond beauty Oh, this is my ex-lover from Poland. I always have it with me in my blonde rubber duck. How did you find out?Well... >Give lanced rubber duck to blonde beauty You killed my rubber duck! After this stunt is done, I'll kill you.Yikes. Note that in this case, "give to" means something along the lines of "show to", so we still have the items. Well, off to Poland!  >Give picture to Pole Cool! You've made a photo of me. But I look ten years younger on it. How did you do that?>Give promise ring to Pole Oh my god, this is the promise ring which I gave to my lost love! Where did you find it? Was she there, too? She's in London with James Bond. What? Who's that? James Bond? He's a secret agent for her majesty who always has some really sexy girls around him. She really made it! She made it with James Bond?!?!? Cut to black.   ...mission accomplished! Let's head back to London.  >Talk to Pole  You did it! You convinced Sean to jump! He touched my girl all the time! I can't believe it! May I kiss your girlfriend? May I convince you to jump, too? Forget it.The last one is just the same answer we had before. >Talk to blonde beauty  How does it feel to be together again? My career is over, but my love is back. Actually I wanted to marry you. I'm not married yet, just promised. What did you say, darling? Nothing.Yeah, I'm pretty sure that messing with his girl is a death sentence. Let's head to Tunisia to see if Connery is already there.  >Talk to Dr. Henry Jones Sr. Sean, I'm glad to see you here! It's an honor to play Indy's father once again!Alright, that's one more off the list! Now all we need to do is get Harrison Ford on board, which shouldn't be too difficult now... wait, we still need to figure out the answer to life, the universe and everything or whatever it is. poo poo.
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Dec 31, 2015 00:38
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Huh. Falling doesn't count as a game over?
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Dec 31, 2015 02:25
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SSNeoman posted:Huh. Falling doesn't count as a game over? There are no game overs in this game. Seems like they took another page out of the LucasArts book. At least I think it was the LucasArts thing that you couldn't die and never got stuck? I'm really not up on my adventure game knowledge.
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Dec 31, 2015 02:44
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TheMcD posted:At least I think it was the LucasArts thing that you couldn't die and never got stuck? Yep. The few times you got a "game over" it was either intended for progress, or as a dig at Sierra (and usually put you right back before the thing you clicked with no progress lost). I just ask because the first UR game did have game overs apparently.
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Dec 31, 2015 22:08
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And as an added bonus, I imagine Sean will be a lot more on-board with George's use of green-screen to create stunts in post-production.
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Jan 8, 2016 09:28
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Update VII - Witty Title Pending We're in the home stretch, folks. We convinced Sean Connery to join up by having a big Pole ram him off a building, only one left to convince and we're going to be filming Indy 4! Back to Wyoming we go to bring the good news to Harrison Ford.  >Talk to Harrison Ford Mr. Ford, what about the fourth Indiana Jones movie? Indy4?!? Great! I feel like 35 today! Let's begin right now! Immediately! Ok, come with me. Ah, no. Is Sean Connery in the cast too? Sure! He's waiting for you on the set! Ok, let's go! But I need my Indy outfit from the house. The strange guy is blocking the way since five weeks! In the rain! In the sun! In the snow! And I've even seen a thunderbolt hit him!Makes me wonder when this is taking place when we get rain, snow, thunderstorms and sun strong enough to be considered something that would impede somebody in the span of five weeks in Wyoming. Must be quite a turbulent season. This, however, leaves us with a problem - we've run out of people to ask about the meaning of life or whatever, and we still can't get past this strange guy. This calls for frantic backtracking, rubbing all sorts of items on other items and more such guff. I rubbed every item I had on the guy and nothing worked, so backtracking it is.  Now, to Germany, to rub things on other things. Interesting results. >Give picture to Frog King Is this your princess? Do I look like a gay frog? Yes! How did you know? Quoaak! This is my problem. How to find a princess to kiss me as a homosexual frog? No fairy tale story writer ever thought about this.That's deep. I think. I'm still not sure what to make of this.  Alright, and now it's time to finally reveal the hidden item that I've mentioned a few times. There is an item on this screen, and I'm going to pick it up now, because I only now found it - when I was desperately looking for anything to help me and was sweeping my mouse over the entire screen in search of it. Where is it? Well, look over Raunes's head. Do you see a black straight line in the lake, can't be more than two pixels wide and about ten pixels long?  This thing? That's the item. And what is it? Well... >Take SchoolOrderStone  Yep. Part of the School Regulation Stone. Just floated in here somehow. >Look at SchoolOrderStone I remember old good times at Wilhelm-Hausenstein-Gymnasium. But it didn't help...You know what also didn't help? Going around and rubbing items on items and stuff. I went through most areas, but no progress made. There was, however, one thing I thought of that actually got a response out of the game.  When going through Poland, I had a really dumb idea, and the game expected me to have it. It worked in the first game, so... >Push tree We are not on an island in the caribbean sea!Oh, gently caress off.  Also, let's go and show our Star Wars props to Han Solo. >Give chewbacca fur to Harrison Ford Here's a part of your old friend! Oh my god, how is he? Where does he live? In a galaxy far far away. And this is the rest of him.Chewbacca's dead. He's dead! He went to the galaxy far, far away. >Give lightsaber to Harrison Ford I was Han, not Luke! And now I'm not even Solo anymore. And now we're back in Germany because I don't know what to do, and I find another weird thing. Remember how I mentioned that there were two inventory items that I missed in this area? Well, here's the second one. >Pick up Frog King  ...and now we have frog eyes. >Look at frog eyes Just royal frog eyes.And yes, we could put the eyes back in by using the eyes with the frog king, but I lug them around because they might be important, you never loving know with this kind of game.  Time starts to fly.  And then something weird happens. I have no idea how exactly I got to this point, but I suspect that going through all the possible answers to this guy's question without leaving Wyoming gives you this new answer. The first time around, I got the answers in parts. Still, I have no idea, and I don't really care to find out. All I know is that we now have the right answer. The answer is wrong! That's right! Go on. Can I pass? That's right.Welp. Turns out he was telling us the answer all along. And because it was so great the first time... and the second time... it's time to rehash that Monkey Island bit again! >Walk to ranch >Look at room There's some delicious food on the mahagoni table.>Feel the hunger >Eat shrimps and caviar >Drink champagne This tasted good. I'll take the rest with me.>Take all the fast food away  Looks familiar. >Recognize trophies on the wall Oh, albatrosses, beavers, squirrels, frogs and elephants!>Touch albatross trophie It's stuck on the wall.>Rip albatross trophie <crunch>  Looks very familiar. >Pick up old rifle next to trophies >Stumple across Harley Davidson Ouch>Accidently shoot through aquarium <splash> >Watch flying fish spitting pearl >Pity dying fish This won't help him.>Take fish  Come on, now. >Take pearl  COME ON, NOW. >Leave ranch Did I forget something?>Pick up Indy's hat at the door  ...adranchure? Are you loving kidding me? Christ, that's a labored pun. Anyway, we got a fuckton of reused items here, let's see what Raunes has to say about them. >Look at pizza A good piece of a real Wagner-Pizza.>Look at salami I'm not hungry.>Look at drink Slimy and green.And it still has the book with the pyramid puzzle solution in it! >Look at albatross head An albatross head with just two pixels of brain.>Look at fish That's a strange deep sea fish. It smells like coming out of an old hole.>Look at pearl This pearl could make me rich. Also, if you detach the pizza, you get another piece of salami with no apparent limit. This either means that it's part of a puzzle that you can screw up and therefore need an infinite supply of as to stick with the LucasArts system of "don't get stuck", or it's completely useless just like the last item I thought that about, the coin in the first game. Now, let's get this show on the road. >Give Indy hat to Harrison Ford Harrison, here's your Indy-hat. Thanks! Now I'm ready for Indiana Jones 4. See you on the set. And here we are, back in Tunisia, with everybody here! >Talk to Harrison Ford Harrison, how do you feel in this historic revival? I love to play Indiana Jones again! And I love to have Sean by my side. And this time I really feel like a grandfather because I'm standing on just one leg. This River Thames jumping stunt happened so fast I felt so much younger when I finally decided to jump.Now, it's time to go! >Talk to George Lucas George, what are we waiting for? Alright!! Let's go! Music - Production Start: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lk9AQQTrSE8 ...but that will have to wait until next time. With the next update, we'll be wrapping up this game, and with that, the Udoiana Raunes... duology, I guess, so you know it's going to be exciting. Stay tuned for the big twist!
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Jan 10, 2016 16:39
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>Feel the hunger was a pretty good joke, though.
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Jan 12, 2016 03:49
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Well. They tried. That's the best I can muster for this section.
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Jan 12, 2016 04:10
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You know, an assembling-an-improbable-device-from-20-inventory-items auto-montage would actually be a kind of neat conclusion, though I don't know if that's what they're going for with this giant inventory.
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Jan 13, 2016 06:35
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Update VIII - Open Heart Surgery Made Easy Alright, here we are, production of Indy 4 has finally started! And apparently, it only involves Indy, Jones Sr. and a whole bunch of loving sand so far. I guess I can dig it. Also, it seems to me like that Indy sprite has been ripped straight out of a Lucasarts Indy game. Also, to note for this upcoming segment, I didn't get all of the dialogue options because this whole thing just trucks forward and I wasn't going to go through it several times just to get some dialogue options. As expected, no matter how long the game actually is, the enthusiasm does wind down towards the end. I can't believe it! I won't believe it! I think, I've been here before! May I get a little little role please? No, you're just a fan game hero. What are you waiting for? I don't know. It's cold here. I need a toilet. Why am I here? Oh no! Looks like our production is falling apart before it even started! What can we do? George, please say something! Ok, let's go! Action! Stop, I forgot my whip! But you have a whip on your trousers, Harrison! This one is not working, it's just decoration. It's sewed on the trousers. That's a problem.Of course, we have exactly the solution for that problem! It's not quite the same, but... >Give whip to Indiana Jones It's an original Udy whip (TM)... from Taiwan. Great! Let's go on! Everybody ready? Scene 3... Take 7... ACTION!How the hell did we get to scene 3 and take 7 already?  Well, look who's here too!  I'm so grateful for that chance. You're welcome. HarHar! Music - Mola Ram: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLF9yLng5MU Uh oh.  I've waited for more than twenty years. When I fell from the bridge in "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom" I swore revenge! Now I get my revenge! I thought you're just a fan! Udoiana, you stupid fan game hero. Do you really think, a real fan would really kill himself for a movie? Be realistic! I've used you for my dark plan to get my revenge! Steven, is Mola Ram in the movie? George? Is Mola Ram in the script? No, he isn't. Harrison, he's not in the movie! Mola Ram, you are not in the movie! Don't you see me? I AM in the movie!OK, hold on, I'm getting confused. So we're acknowledging Indiana Jones as a movie series with actors and stuff, but the villain from one of the movies is out seeking revenge as if he was an actual person? Alright, sure, I guess, let's just go with it. But you fell off the bridge! But there was a river down there! HarHar! But there were crocodiles in there and they ate you! That's wrong! I ate them! HarHar! Don't you remember the camera angle? You just see the crocodiles and my red clothes, not me. The truth was, the crocodiles were screaming of fear! Ok, Mola Ram, what do you want?  OH GOD. Your HEART, Indiana! Oh no, ah ugh! HarHar! He's got the heart of Indiana Jones! That's not in the screenplay! I can't see that! My heart, my heart! I can't feel anything! I'm dying! Steven, help me! George, do something! Sean, do something! Udy, do something! Well, poo poo. So apparently, Mola Ram's plan for revenge is just straight up tearing Indy's heart out (insert joke about the fourth movie lacking heart here) and holding it up in the air, and then... something, I guess. And it's our job to fix things. I guess we have enough time to just look around and talk to everybody, Indy doesn't seem like he's bleeding out or anything. >Look at Indy's heart (TM) It's still pumping! I should do something!>Look at Mola Ram This is Mola Ram, the radical religious heart-ripper from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. His face got a little damaged by the crocodiles. (The fan was really ugly, too!)>Talk to George Lucas  George, is Mola Ram in the screenplay? I didn't read it. I don't know. But it was great. George, do something! Steven, do something!>Talk to Steven Spielberg  Please direct Mola to go away! Mola, go away! ACTION! Harharhar! Steven, do something! George, do something!>Talk to Indiana Jones  You look strange, Indy. OR I know a very good hospital in Djerba! OR Don't be heartless. Aaaahhhhh!>Talk to Dr. Henry Jones Sr.  Sean, do something! I'm the oldest man here on the set with a broken leg. What shall I do? You are the father! Take care of your son! My role in the Indiana Jones movies is to play an addlebrained bookworm-professor. I'm simply not able to help anyhow!>Talk to Mola Ram  Mola, how does this trick with ripping hearts work? It's quite simple: Read a lot of books, meditate in India, be evil, and just do it! Give Indy's heart back! Never ever! I need it! Fan, I trusted you! And now you do this! Raunes, I used you! You stupid little fan game hero! Fan, you just don't look like Mola in the movie. The original actor was too old. I had to change my face.This just confuses me even more. So, how can we possibly solve this incredible problem? Could the tons of inventory items we have play into this? >Pick up Indy's heart (TM)  >Use Indy's heart (TM) with Indiana Jones Oh, OK then. And that was the last "puzzle" of the game. Every other inventory item we have is completely pointless. Which has to make at least a dozen of completely useless inventory clutter, most of which was thrown into your face at the end to make for a cheap punchline of "look at us reuse assets even more". Meh. You saved me! Then I get your heart! Mola, you idiot! This was the heart of the leading actor! HarHar! Yes! And?! And when the leading actor is dead, the game is over! HarHar! And now you'll never get your revenge! Huh? Oh my god! Nooooooooooooo......  Music - Credits: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGyKvswHJOw And that's how Udoiana Raunes ends. He gets his heart torn out by Mola Ram, the game ends because its main character has just died, and that's that, that's the end of the series. And the last thing we did was just take Indy's heart and shove it straight back into him. Works for me, I guess. Now, on to the credits. Credits Story Stefan Zwanzger Thomas Wagner Graphics Stefan Zwanzger Programming Thomas Wagner Music Veit Winkler original Udoiana Raunes idea Stefan Zwanzger Indiana Jones and Star Wars are registered trademarks of Paramount Pictures, 20th Century Fox and Lucasfilm, Ltd. We owe them many thanks for doing those great movies. Special Thanks to Udo Rau Clemens Hochreiter Martin Klemrath Judith Wolf Roland Koch Sonja Jatzkowski Jeanna Fine Walt Disney Matthias Bermuth Katharina Wagner Gunar Winkler Jessica Franz Kantorei Graz Das Prepri Gilles from TheRaider.Net Aaron from TheIndyExperience.Com Guybrush Threepwood all alligators in the world and of course our hero Udoiana Raunes! Beta Testers Aaron Gantt Ville-Pekka Reponen Martin Klemrath During the creation of this game no single animal was killed or even hurt! Especially not squirrels and frogs. The characters in this game are absolutely not invented! They are based on real persons. (c) april 2005 by Stefan Zwanzger & Thomas Wagner https://www.raunes.com https://www.zwanzger.com https://www.wagnerthomas.de https://www.veitwinkler.de Hey, none of those websites are dead! Big step up from Unterwegs in Düsterburg. Though two of them only link to LinkedIn pages these days and one is only a login page for a webmailer. Then, after the credits... How the production of this game started... Stefan I can't believe it! They pushed back Indy4 again! Tom Do you remember our old story idea? Stefan Udy's mission to make Indy4 a reality? Tom Yes, but I've so much to do. I just can't do Udoiana Raunes 3 now. Stefan Me too. Furthermore it's totally ridiculous to create a rough-pixeled game in 2005! Tom That's true. And I don't know where the old source-code is. Stefan That's bad. And I've not drawn any graphics for six years. I'm the worst artist you can find. ... Let's do it! Tom Ok. But only if we finish it till tomorrow morning. Stefan Alright, let's go. Last time we only needed three weeks to create the first game out of nothing. At this time those stupid guys didn't know that they would waste a couple of weeks for this non-profit non-sense fan game. And finally, a bit of a character roll-call: Mola Ram I will return and get my revenge! Harharharharhar! Frog King And I sat for 3 hours, 18 minutes and 13 seconds next to you and had no idea who you were! Quooaaak! And yes, the number actually goes up as it scrolls across the screen. George Lucas Incredible! A fan game made Indy4 happen! Indiana Jones Mola, you will never get your revenge! You won't get a role in the Indy4 movie. Henry Jones, Sr. My leg hurts! Polish Victor I can't believe I found you, Sonja! Blonde Sonja Our love brought us together. I will never leave you again. But can we please leave this dangeous position? R2D2 Will I ever get out of this costume? Star Wars fan R2D2? You can talk? Where can I buy tickets for the green screen Star Wars movie? Squirrel Can I get a ticket, too? Shop window I sell movie tickets, too! And of course burned DVDs. Native American Burned DVDs are wrong! You are not allowed to pass! Sean Connery I will never pass terrace edges again. Screenwriter Jeffrey George, may we leave the dungeon now with Indy4 in production? Screenwriter Jeb I need sunglasses when I get out here. I haven't seen the sun for 12 years! Screenwriter Jeff And I need a walking stick. I haven't moved for 12 years. George Don't move! We need an excellent script for Indy5! Jeffrey, Jeb and Jeff Nooooo!!!! Udoiana Raunes Will I have to do another Udoiana Raunes game before the production can start? I'm too dead to do that. Steven Spielberg We'll see. I have to check this with my PDA. Stefan Zwanzger I will never do an Udy game again! Veit Winkler And I will never do a 22kHz / 8bit production again! Thomas Wagner Ok, let's come to an end. Stefan, never again sit on chocolate easter eggs when we work together! If you have comments on this game please write us an E-Mail to udoiana *AT* raunes.com We hope you enjoyed the game. Bye, bye! (c) april 2005 by Stefan Zwanzger & Thomas Wagner   And that's it! That's the end of the Udoiana Raunes saga! So, I guess for some closing thoughts, what did I actually think of these games? Well, to say I liked them might be a bit strong, as harsh as that sounds. I find them interesting, that's for sure, but I find many things interesting, and taking that as a mark of quality is the wrong way of going at it. I mean, I'm not a fan of point-and-clicks to start with, so that's not helping, but as it stands, the game didn't really have any engaging puzzles, the writing was more strikeout than home run (though then again pretty much every great power hitter has more strikeouts than home runs, like Barry Bonds, Babe Ruth and so on, and this works because a home run is a lot more good than a strikeout is bad... gently caress, ABORT METAPHOR), the graphics were alright, I guess, it's kind of hard to tell at this point whether this was good enough for the time or not... ...but at the end of the day, this doesn't really matter, because these are Indiana Jones fangames made by two guys largely for shits and giggles and based around the basic premise of "well, our teacher kind of looks like Indiana Jones and we liked the Lucasarts Indiana Jones games, we can make something work with this". This game was never made to appeal to me, and I can respect that. And really, I only did this LP because I figured that if I wasn't doing it, nobody else was going to, and this game still doesn't deserve to die an undignified death like that, with one Youtube video to its name that never gets out of the first room. So there we go, there's Udoiana Raunes in all his glory. Kind of dodgy humor, kind of dodgy puzzles, kind of dodgy writing and game design in general, but there's still an odd appeal to these games. This is what I expect when I get into a "fan game", a whole bunch of amateur-looking and feeling stuff that seems like it's copying more successful things because usually, the fans making the game are all amateurs at this stuff, and they create based on what they're fans of. There's a pure, distilled "labor of love" feel to it that you just can't get from larger projects, and I think that's why Udy will always have a little room inside my heart. I hope everybody out there enjoyed this romp through two incredibly obscure games - there wasn't a lot of activity in the thread, but I think I'm kind of used to that by now, I have a talent for picking rather obscure crap that doesn't do much to draw the viewer in beyond a "well this looks loving goofy, let's see where this goes" or a "I'm part of the sub-1% that even heard of this game to begin with", and it didn't help that I didn't really have a lot to say about the game since it wasn't a beloved childhood gem or something I combed through from top to bottom, and for a lot of the game, it did a fairly good job of talking for itself. To those of you that stuck around to the end, here's to you, and I hope to see you on board for my next project, whenever that may come to a LP subforum near you! Thanks for reading! LET'S PLAY THE UDOIANA RAUNES SERIES - THE END
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Jan 14, 2016 01:49
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Well then Yeah I definitely see what you mean by "ran out of steam". I thought they'd go for a sort of Agent Smith joke, where Udo absorbs Mola and thus becomes the villain of Indy 4, but I guess this works too?? Well, thanks for showing us this thing! It was quite something!
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Jan 14, 2016 02:04
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Well, that was unexpected. Still, thanks for showing off this game.
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Jan 14, 2016 05:22
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That was an ending, I guess.
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Jan 14, 2016 05:48
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Well, you know what they say. Live by the low-effort fan game, die by the low-effort fan game.
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Jan 18, 2016 04:51
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