lorn Wayne posted:

im the comet, sup

Feranon posted:

what stupid dumb thing is supposed to happen this time

social vegan posted:

i'm going to gently caress a dead pig head i can't do it now because it's frowned upon by society and probably illeagle

TEAYCHES posted:

from the anonymous goon confessions thread:

"Hey - Comet Goon Confession from a while back wasn't wrong. I don't know exactly who he is, but I'm also one of those "700" (actually probably closer to 3000) people that know the deal. I can also share a few more facts that he either didn't know or didn't share.

The comet was discovered by Solar Warden several months ago. If you aren't already aware, Solar Warden is a United Nations backed space program that's been in operation since the early 1980s. You can google "Solar Warden" if you don't know all the details - but it's basically public knowledge at this point.

Solar Warden attempted to destroy the comet or to knock it off course. However, the comet (which is called Wyrmwood in most official documents, gotta love biblical references) was too big to be destroyed or knocked off course enough to miss Earth.

After it was determined that there was no way to prevent the collision, the option was weighed of evacuating Earth via Solar Warden and whatever other world space programs are available. However, the only available living space for people would be ISS, Solar Warden's Omni-Directional Space Platform, and the UN Fallout Satellite. These 3 locations would allow maybe 200 people max to survive, and would only guarantee a few months of survival at best. Any evac plans were then considered infeasible and abandoned.

The final option was an (as of yet) unsuccessful SOS sent into deep space. To my knowledge there is no extraterrestrial life, so we are gambling on discovering life in space, having it be intelligent enough to decode our SOS and have a way to make it to Earth and evacuate all human life, and have us be able to survive in whatever environment we end up on. It's a hail mary that's gonna fail, in this old dog's eyes.

The goon's right - the general public wasn't told this for fear of it causing mass chaos across the world. There's a thread in GBS about what you'd do if the world ended - that's what we fear. A lot of crime, a lot of destruction, and a lot of death. In the small event that we would somehow survive this comet, the whole world would be FUBAR anyway, probably beyond our capacity to reign it in again.

Now two things I wanna address. You probably wonder - why is this guy posting on SA? Well, quite frankly, I posted here since way back when, and it helped keep me sane on a lot of long boring nights. I was there when Smashmouth didn't eat the eggs, I was there when Telhix drew that crazy MSPaint drawing, I was there for 50 Ft Ant's bullshit stories. So I wanted to let my goon brethren in on this so maybe you all do at least one thing you wanted to do before you die.

Secondly -a lot of crazy confessions in here but no proof. Well, I've got a little bit. I attached some images here, I'm hoping HH can post em and that they made it through okay. You've got a photo of the comet taken about a week ago. Now that should give you some idea of the size, if it's that large to the human eye but still 3 weeks away.



Next photo is of one of Solar Warden's space planes, a photo I took myself back in 2010.



Hope this all helps shed a little light on what's coming. To be honest, when I read the confession I about poo poo my pants - didn't think any other goons would be aware of this."

Throwdini posted:

Madonna's New Tour Depicts the COMING NEPHILlM HORDES (September 23, 2015 FINAL WARNINGS)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5iUsjWveN2U

Nooner posted:

I hope the world doesn't end cause my birthday is the 25th and I'd very much h like to get to stick to my plans of going to Lobsterfest and then the fair

DaveSplitter posted:

DaveSplitter posted:

DaveSplitter posted:

Obligatory Handle posted:

I'll be in a flight across the ocean, so I'm going to be really, really dead.