what jews actually believe

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Rainbow Daesh: May 19, 2015; by Ralp

Jews May Rob and Kill Non-Jews, Sanhedrin 57a . When a Jew murders a Gentile ("Cuthean"), there will be no death penalty. What a Jew steals from a Gentile he may keep.

Abodah Zarah 22a-22b . Gentiles prefer sex with cows.

Non-Jewish Children Sub-Human, Yebamoth 98a. All Gentile children are animals.

Sanhedrin 54b . A Jew may have sex with a child as long as the child is less than nine years old.

Gittin 69a . To heal his flesh a Jew should take dust that lies within the shadow of an outdoor toilet, mix it with honey and eat it.

# ? Sep 22, 2015 20:33

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 11:18

FlimFlam Imam: Mar 1, 2007; Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams

Must be true.

# ? Sep 22, 2015 20:38

MoreLikeTen: Oct 21, 2012; The farmer's mistake was believing he had any control over his life.

hey, don't knock toilet-shadow honey-dust in front of me

# ? Sep 22, 2015 20:40

Cake Smashing Boob: Nov 5, 2008; I support black genocide

what mainstream media is not reporting 101

# ? Sep 22, 2015 20:45

vug: Jan 23, 2015; by Cowcaster

i think a lot of people dont realise how weird judaism is because they think it's like christianity but they only believe in the old testament or something

the talmud is like having house of leaves as your holy scripture or something

# ? Sep 22, 2015 20:49

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

The Talmud is also just millennia of old rabbis arguing with each other, not holy written-in-stone edicts everyone must abide by or anything like that, sorry OP

People misinterpret Judaism as like American-style Christianity in that "your <x holy book> says this, therefore that is what you believe or you are by definition not Jewish :smug:

" when really it could be described better as every individual worshipper reading the texts and drawing their own conclusions (but mostly just doing what their parents did because otherwise said parents would be very disappointed)

e: what I said about the Talmud goes double for the Mishnah

It's really dumb to say this is "what jews actually believe" when in order to have heard of any of this poo poo at all you'd need to either be a black-hat rabbi or an Internet person looking for poo poo to use to troll on GBS. About 99.9% of Jews have never read a single word of the Talmud or Mishnah in their lives

I think if I asked my childhood rabbi, a Very Learned Scholar, whether he had read loving Gittin he'd have shrugged and said "uhh which one was that again"

loquacius fucked around with this message at 21:03 on Sep 22, 2015

# ? Sep 22, 2015 20:54

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

loquacius posted:

The Talmud is also just millennia of old rabbis arguing with each other, not holy written-in-stone edicts everyone must abide by or anything like that, sorry OP

People misinterpret Judaism as like American-style Christianity in that "your <x holy book> says this, therefore that is what you believe or you are by definition not Jewish " when really it could be described better as every individual worshipper reading the texts and drawing their own conclusions (but mostly just doing what their parents did because otherwise said parents would be very disappointed)

e: what I said about the Talmud goes double for the Mishnah

It's really dumb to say this is "what jews actually believe" when in order to have heard of any of this poo poo at all you'd need to either be a black-hat rabbi or an Internet person looking for poo poo to use to troll on GBS. About 99.9% of Jews have never read a single word of the Talmud or Mishnah in their lives

I think if I asked my childhood rabbi, a Very Learned Scholar, whether he had read loving Gittin he'd have shrugged and said "uhh which one was that again"

I fixed ur av for u

# ? Sep 22, 2015 21:16

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

he spins and blinks now its much more fun (:

# ? Sep 22, 2015 21:17

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

It is fun but the football+arm look a little swastika-y when they spin in four frames like that

# ? Sep 22, 2015 21:18

Diesel Fucker: Aug 14, 2003; I spent my rent money on tentacle porn.

OY VEY!

# ? Sep 22, 2015 21:20

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

yeesh, youre right, here how about this

# ? Sep 22, 2015 21:22

tupac holocron: Apr 23, 2008; The son of Maryam is about to descend amongst you as a correct ruler, he will break the cross and kill the pig!

loquacius posted:

The Talmud is also just millennia of old rabbis arguing with each other, not holy written-in-stone edicts everyone must abide by or anything like that, sorry OP

People misinterpret Judaism as like American-style Christianity in that "your <x holy book> says this, therefore that is what you believe or you are by definition not Jewish " when really it could be described better as every individual worshipper reading the texts and drawing their own conclusions (but mostly just doing what their parents did because otherwise said parents would be very disappointed)

e: what I said about the Talmud goes double for the Mishnah

It's really dumb to say this is "what jews actually believe" when in order to have heard of any of this poo poo at all you'd need to either be a black-hat rabbi or an Internet person looking for poo poo to use to troll on GBS. About 99.9% of Jews have never read a single word of the Talmud or Mishnah in their lives

I think if I asked my childhood rabbi, a Very Learned Scholar, whether he had read loving Gittin he'd have shrugged and said "uhh which one was that again"

uhhh mishnah is part of talmud

# ? Sep 22, 2015 21:25

FedEx Mercury: Jan 7, 2004; Me bad posting? That's unpossible!; Lipstick Apathy

I can't believe how hosed up those old rear end books are ! drat!!!

# ? Sep 22, 2015 21:26

StashAugustine: Mar 24, 2013; Do not trust in hope- it will betray you! Only faith and hatred sustain.

this is a bad thread but a good username op

# ? Sep 22, 2015 21:26

Luitpold: Aug 2, 2009; Talking of excrement ...

jews sound more like balkan white trash

# ? Sep 22, 2015 21:29

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Nooner posted:

yeesh, youre right, here how about this

Much better, thanks Nooner

brave nazi aviator posted:

uhhh mishnah is part of talmud

The fact that I had that misconception actually helps the point I was trying to make, thank you brave nazi aviator :tipshat:

Luitpold posted:

jews sound more like balkan white trash

basically accurate

# ? Sep 22, 2015 21:30

Sorryformybadjokes: Apr 21, 2004; I identify as a simian who pronounces the 'silent' letters in words.; Fallen Rib

Jew or Not Jew: Choosing the Chosen People
https://www.jewornotjew.com

# ? Sep 22, 2015 21:59

deadking: Apr 13, 2006; Hello? Charlemagne?!

Rainbow Daesh posted:

Abodah Zarah 22a-22b . Gentiles prefer sex with cows. .

I can confirm this one.

# ? Sep 22, 2015 22:06

social vegan: Nov 7, 2014

thanks nooner for saving this jew thread

# ? Sep 22, 2015 22:10

raditts: Feb 21, 2001; The Kwanzaa Bot is here to protect me.

loquacius posted:

It is fun but the football+arm look a little swastika-y when they spin in four frames like that

I'm more surprised that that was not intentional

# ? Sep 22, 2015 23:05

glowstick party tonight: Oct 4, 2003; by zen death robot

my favorite is the morning prayer for men where they thank god for not making them women

# ? Sep 22, 2015 23:10

B. Birdsworth: Jul 31, 2014; There are not one hundred people in the United States who hate The Catholic Church, but there are millions who hate what they wrongly perceive the Catholic Church to be.