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Lotophage
Apr 26, 2015

by Lowtax
Nature does not know extinction; all it knows is transformation.
Everything science has taught me and continues to teach me,
strengthens my belief in the continuity of our
spiritual existence after death

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CISMALES DID 9-11
Jun 5, 2002

chaotic good STEM major; INTJ
i made a poo poo
into toilet
liquid powerbomb

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

quote:

No, no, it's Woodhouse! He's all tied up somewhere, sc-scared and alone! And possibly dehydrated!

I have to go, but if I find one dog hair when I come back I'll rub sand into your dead little eyes. I also need you to buy sand. I don't know if they grade it, but ... coarse.

No, no, turn it on. I can do both.

If you let me into the mainframe, I'll drop these donuts. And then you can pretend you're a hungry hungry ... hungry hippo.

Can't or won't?

God, everything makes you uncomfortable. Just the tip?

So, thanks for nothing Carol. Now, I have to break into ISIS headquarters—in a $900 turtleneck. And if it gets ruined, I'm going to make you drink heavy cream, you ... Carol.

Lying is like 95% of what I do.

Karate? The Dane Cook of martial arts? No, ISIS agents use Krav Maga.

Hey, I know you're upset, but if you ever mention my mother's loins or their frothiness to me again, I don't know what I'll do ... but it will be bad. Now let's go bury this dead hooker.

You know, I bet there's a lesson to be learned from all this, but I ... oh poo poo, my rug!

Cyril, I paid her, I get to carry her corpse.

Woodhouse, we got any lube? Like even olive oil at this point would ... help me get that drawer unstuck.

You know, when I was little I used to pretend that you weren't my mother.

And your shoes! Because how hard is it to poach a goddamn egg properly? Seriously, that's like Eggs 101, Woodhouse.

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012

by Fluffdaddy
the discovery of the Jewish virus is one of the greatest revolutions that has taken place in the world. The battle in which we are engaged today is of the same sort as the battle waged, during the last century, by Pasteur and Koch. How many diseases have their origin in the Jewish virus! ... We shall regain our health only be eliminating the Jew.

rezatahs
Jun 9, 2001

by Smythe
What are you looking for? There is no Truth. There's only action, action obeying a million different impulses, ephemeral action, action subjected to every possible and imaginable contingency and contradiction, Life. Life is crime, theft, jealousy, hunger, lies, disgust,stupidity, sickness, volcanic eruptions, earthquakes, piles of corpses. What can you do about it, my poor friend?

Luvcow
Jul 1, 2007

One day nearer spring
I personally believe that U. S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some people out there in our nation don't have maps and, uh, I believe that our education, like such as in South Africa and, uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should—our education over here in the U. S. should help the U. S., uh, or, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq, and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future, for our children.

jarvis cocker
Dec 16, 2007

by Lowtax
god is great
god is good
let us thank him
for this (food)

Luvcow
Jul 1, 2007

One day nearer spring
Ronald Fisher: Beer and pussy. That's all I need.
Sean Smith: We gotta find ourselves a Smurfette.
Ronald Fisher: Smurfette?
Sean Smith: Mm-hmm. Not some, like, tight-rear end Middlesex chick, you know? Like, this cute little blonde that will get down and dirty with the guys. Like Smurfette does.
Donnie: Smurfette doesn't gently caress.
Sean Smith: That's bullshit. Smurfette fucks all the other Smurfs. Why do you think Papa Smurf made her? Because all the other Smurfs were getting too horny.
Ronald Fisher: No, no, no, not Vanity. I heard he was a homosexual.
Sean Smith: Okay, well, you know what? Then she fucks them while Vanity watches. Okay?
Ronald Fisher: What about Papa Smurf? I mean, he must get in on all the action.
Sean Smith: Yeah, what he does, he films the gang-bang. Later on, he beats off to the tape.
Donnie: [matter-of-factly] First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village. But the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario - It just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants. That's what's so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. What's the point of living... if you don't have a dick?
Ronald Fisher: [pause] drat it, Donnie. Why do you gotta get so smart on us?

Lotophage
Apr 26, 2015

by Lowtax

jarvis cocker posted:

god is great
god is good
let us thank him
for this (food)

extra stout
Feb 24, 2005

ISILDUR's ERR
There is a saying of the elders' that goes, "Step from under the eaves and you're a dead man. Leave the gate and the enemy is waiting." This is not a matter of being careful. It is to consider oneself as dead beforehand.

Weird BIAS
Jul 5, 2007

so... guess that's it, huh? just... don't say i didn't warn you.
born to die

Fojar38
Sep 2, 2011


Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia


also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->
"smoke weed every day blaze it anglicans" - henry viii

Nooner
Mar 26, 2011

AN A+ OPSTER (:
The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry.




):

Tenacious J
Nov 20, 2002

"Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra."

a whole buncha crows
May 8, 2003

WHEN WE DON'T KNOW WHO TO HATE, WE HATE OURSELVES.-SA USER NATION (AKA ME!)
death is certain

a whole buncha crows
May 8, 2003

WHEN WE DON'T KNOW WHO TO HATE, WE HATE OURSELVES.-SA USER NATION (AKA ME!)
megadeath

quakster
Jul 21, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
"i'm gonna beat the gay out of you" is v. inspirational

a whole buncha crows
May 8, 2003

WHEN WE DON'T KNOW WHO TO HATE, WE HATE OURSELVES.-SA USER NATION (AKA ME!)

quakster posted:

"i'm gonna beat the gay out of you" is v. inspirational

do you say this to your dick

quakster
Jul 21, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
busted

jarvis cocker posted:

god is great
god is good
let us thank him
for this (food)
i liked the prayer some teachers tried to force kids in my school to say. totally not autism-inducing to go on about jesus every single time there's food

Blizzy_Cow
Feb 27, 2006
When one burns one's bridges, what a wonderful fire it makes


Never give up never surrender

Pththya-lyi
Nov 8, 2009

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020
In this moment, I am euphoric. Not because of any phony god's blessings. But because, I am enlightened by my intelligence.

Jukeboxblues
Jul 29, 2015


Grimey Drawer
"I can't spell inspiring but I can sure make a thread that is"

FlimFlam Imam
Mar 1, 2007

Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams
“All you need in this life is a tremendous sex drive and a great ego – Brains don't mean poo poo.” - Captain Tony

social vegan
Nov 7, 2014



hey brian stop masturbating at the table god can see you what do you mean ur into that ugh

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
"The juice is loose" -OJ Simpson

"Listen not at keyholes, lest ye be vexed" -old proverb

"Remember, you can do anything if you try. The flipside to that is it's nobody's fault but yours when you fail because obviously you weren't trying hard enough." -Leonard Peikoff

"I et a baby" -Fat Bastard

"Y-y-you know M-mor *Belch*orty, sometimes y-you gotaa just... Go with the flow, you know? Se where life takes you. Sometimes it takes you into a huge s-space vagina... penis space monster." -Rick Sanchez

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Whiskey Sours
Jan 25, 2014

Weather proof.
It's better to burn out than to fade away.

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