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uhhh I'm pretty sure anyone with a bunghole can do that job
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Nov 8, 2015 18:31
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Commie NedFlanders posted:Private sector jobs were pure labor exploitation. Sounds like you're too dumb to cut out the middleman or are too autistic/STEM to deal with people. Have you tried the Iowa Chop?
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Nov 8, 2015 18:32
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I worked for a startup that ran out of money. Rather than doing the sensible thing and laying everybody off, the CEO told everybody to hang tight because he was taking out a loan to pay us our salaries, and also investors were beating a path to the door to give us more money. I started looking for a new job, and once I got one I quit. A few weeks later the company laid everybody off. The former employees filed a class action lawsuit against the company, and I got in on it because why not - it would probably be a waste of time because you can't squeeze blood from a stone or in this case a broke corporation, but it wasn't costing me anything to sue them (it was one of those contingency deals) so whatever. Fortunately it turns out that the CEO personally broke the law and was loaded, so we won and got paid most of the money we were owed. It'll be awhile before I work for another startup.
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Nov 8, 2015 18:33
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I dont work anymore because I am disabled so my government pays me, I get nearly everything for free. But I used to work in food manufacturing and the agency workers we used to prep and pack the food where seriously disgusting, unhygienic, disease ridden immigrants mostly Africans and Muslims. Lets just say I know what brands to avoid buying here in the UK.
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Nov 8, 2015 18:40
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fits my needs posted:Sounds like you're too dumb to cut out the middleman or are too autistic/STEM to deal with people. Have you tried the Iowa Chop? Part of it is charity, I can serve more people in that environment than I would if I went solo, and I love to help people even if it means I'm getting less money. Also, I lack the startup funds necessary for proper advertising because I didn't marry a former CFO like the owner of this business did lol. I also have a sense of duty and commitment. The owner of the company, while being an exploitative vampire capitalist, is a good person IMO and they are Christians and I believe that if I sacrifice to serve them that God will take care of me, which He has by opening up other, better, employment opportunities to me. So I will keep helping them as long as I can, the way God continues to help me purely by grace Still, I will be honest about the exploitative nature of the business
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Nov 8, 2015 18:42
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IOWA
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Nov 8, 2015 21:37
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I'm the grungy weirdo that leaves at 8 AM in the morning while you are all getting coffee and stewing in your misery. Don't ask me for my badge, human being, I was here before you. :wearing a wife beater and plain sweater while everyone else coming in is wearing knock off cheap dress outfits.: Wicker Man fucked around with this message at 21:42 on Nov 8, 2015 |
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Nov 8, 2015 21:40
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Nekodoshi posted:I work as a shift supervisor in a kitchen, that is in a jail. So basically I have to make inmates work all day preparing and sending out meals for a population of roughly 700, give or take. I'm a fleet mechanic in a prison and go through the exact same poo poo you do in terms of supervising inmates all day. Working here really opened my eyes as to how a lot of people end up career criminals - it's not that they decided one day to take up a life of crime, it's just that they made one idiotic decision after another and end up in a 10x6 concrete box. And once you're in state prison, the odds of you being able to get a decent job is nearly nil, so I'll see you again in a year or so. Of course, I'm dealing with the non-violent guys, some of the real lunatics are loving terrifying.
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Nov 8, 2015 22:20
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symbolic posted:i crashed my car when i was 17 and i'm a young student. i still only pay, like, $60 a month. Do you live in detroit? In a no fault state? Is your credit rating negative one billion? Then you're insurance isn't going to be $1300 for you. Also my company is poo poo when it comes to folks with anything other than stellar credit. How about this: the company is so bad at regulatory consistency that they have a special set of rules just for them in certain states because they keep loving up. just lol.
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Nov 8, 2015 22:28
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Our company values all its employees! They even finance team outings and social events! Last social event held by rank and file employees: 6 months ago Last social event held by supervisors and management: 1 every 3 weeks. But its just not in the budget, you see.
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Nov 9, 2015 13:07
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well i fly in the private jet sometimes the sushi rice is too cold
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Nov 9, 2015 13:43
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Jastiger if you're making less than 80k a year and you're decent at sales you're just working for the wrong company. Go into car sales or something, its what I did and literally 3/4 of my time is loving around online. I mean, insurance would be hard as gently caress to sell, now I just pull up a Prius, smile and say "Sir you've made a wise choice, let's go see if the details make sense."
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Nov 9, 2015 14:40
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Tumble posted:Jastiger if you're making less than 80k a year and you're decent at sales you're just working for the wrong company. Its been a consideration, but I've been averse to that for the some of the reasons I'll be posting later: clientele. If I could get a job with a NEW car dealer with some decent products I'd probably be alright. It could be a good gig. But from my understanding, those positions are few and far between and for new people its extremely grueling. But no, clientele is the probably worst part of the job. I'm trying to sell a "premium" product to people that are literally the Lowest Common Denominator. Image trying to sell that prius to someone who just showed up on the lot because a taxi left them there, then drove off. They have no idea what a Toyota is, what a prius is, they just know they need "'surance". They just need a car. Now sell that person a prius. You're expected to spend a minimum of an hour walking them through the features, benefits, acoolades of the vehicle. Meanwhile they aren't paying attention, they have no idea what you're talking about. Its obvious they can't afford it, and they don't even want it. If you recognize this, you're penalized for not treating them right. Thats how it is here.
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Nov 9, 2015 14:49
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Jastiger posted:Its been a consideration, but I've been averse to that for the some of the reasons I'll be posting later: clientele. If I could get a job with a NEW car dealer with some decent products I'd probably be alright. It could be a good gig. But from my understanding, those positions are few and far between and for new people its extremely grueling. Just make them fill out a credit app before and then brush them out the door. And no you aren't spending an hour walking them through a car before they buy it, you're spending like 5 minutes. You're currently selling a boring product. Cars are fun to sell! They eat gasoline! Sounds like you live in a hellhole though, you should focus on getting out. Tumble fucked around with this message at 15:04 on Nov 9, 2015 |
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Nov 9, 2015 14:59
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Form requires date in DD/MMM/YYYY format. You know, 3-letter month code. Date written on form: 21/008/2014.
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Nov 9, 2015 15:06
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Palicgofueniczekt posted:Form requires date in DD/MMM/YYYY format. You know, 3-letter month code. Date written on form: 21/008/2014. Palicgofueniczekt!!!
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Nov 9, 2015 15:08
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RideTheSpiral posted:Palicgofueniczekt!!! Um, yes?
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Nov 9, 2015 15:09
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I work at a company that processes broker price opinions on (mostly) residential properties for banks. The entire reason I was hired is because maybe one out of five real estate agents doing BPOs for us are capable of doing research and following basic loving directions. How do you work in real estate for 20+ years and not know how to use Zillow? There's been way too many times that an agent has claimed to not know the square footage or bed/bath count of a house they're supposed to be assessing when I was able to find it after a ten second Google search.
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Nov 9, 2015 15:14
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Time to work at a Subaru ship and get loving way too excited about cars that are actually fun and engaging
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Nov 9, 2015 15:17
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Management un-ironically asks if we want to volunteer to take furlough days, like the US office is forced to. You know, to be a team player.
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Nov 9, 2015 15:17
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Tumble posted:Just make them fill out a credit app before and then brush them out the door. THat got me in huge trouble-finding out who qualified first. You have to go through the entire motions FIRST before you can kick them out. Its to the point where you don't even tell people they are ineligible, you just rate them in the non standard system because if you told them up front, they'd leave (as they should). It SHOULD be 5 minutes, but they want you to spend the hour here. They don't rate you on your sales vs quotes. They rate you on sales vs calls taken. To put it in a car analogy here-imagine you were rated not on the amount of people you showed cars to, but by the amount of people you talked to. Guy is working with Bob, but asks you "Hey buddy, where is the bathroom?" Here, they'd ask why you didn't cross sell the warranty on him. Someone calls in and asks to speak to Parts but hit the wrong button. Why didn't you sell that guy a car? People are walking by on the sidewalk, stop to look at Prius, then keep moving, why didn't you sell to them? YOu made eye contact? I'm writing you up, Tumble! Thats literally how it works here. If you get a call it counts against your "yield rate". It doesn't matter if they wanted service, claims, already had a policy, are ineligible, its a political robo call. Its bullshit.
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Nov 9, 2015 15:19
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The anti-baby theft system at work is getting upgraded, and we were supposed to have classes on how to use it at various times today and tomorrow. Because everyone in the department has to know how to use it, that means that all of us had to be signed up for them, and to try and work things around for the various shifts. A conference call the manager had on thursday told us that it all gets pushed back to god knows when. The fun part will be when the work actually does begin, and then the higher-ups decide that they should siphon the money budgeted for it on something else, like they tried to do when the camera system was upgrading.
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Nov 9, 2015 15:25
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Thanks for confirming sales is poo poo. Now take your goddamn suit across the street to the big 4 and get a real job writing emails
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Nov 9, 2015 15:26
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Then go work somewhere that treats salespeople like the mercenaries we are - my talents will go to highest bidder, and while part of being the highest bidder may be giving me the most money, another part of the contract may be giving the leeway to accomplish my job the way I want to do it. Jastiger, you apparently have the skills to sell, but do you have the balls to do it how you want?
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Nov 9, 2015 15:30
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Tumble posted:Then go work somewhere that treats salespeople like the mercenaries we are - my talents will go to highest bidder, and while part of being the highest bidder may be giving me the most money, another part of the contract may be giving the leeway to accomplish my job the way I want to do it.  I have a new job already lined up, I'm just getting all the hate on this place out.
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Nov 9, 2015 15:42
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Jastiger posted:
Well I hope you're not such a pussy in your next job. (Best of luck buddy - I'm job surfing myself, but I hate seeing a fellow person in sales having a rough time. It takes a certain kind to sell well.)
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Nov 9, 2015 15:47
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Tumble posted:Well I hope you're not such a pussy in your next job. The hardest thing about it is probably the corporate culture. I get that poo poo changes. I get that you gotta be profitable. I don't get that you're supposed to be all super duper happy as they take money out of your pocket. Literally, sell this, or you get written up. OH noes did your commission go down? *putin sad face* Its really tough here for sure. Everyone in the department wants out of it. I have seen people, including myself, apply for jobs outside of sales and they are turned down and lose out on the jobs because they come from this department. I work in a major hub for a major company and if you go to company functions and share what dept you're with, they are like  "ohhh. I see." Its that bad. Nearly everyone I know that has moved up in the company has had to quit this department, work somewhere else, and reapply as a new hire. Its ridiculous how toxic this department is.
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Nov 9, 2015 15:59
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Man, I literally got fired on Friday and I feel like I'm happier now than you EVER were at work. Your job sounds toxic, I'm sorry you had to put up with that. If you enjoy sales, never loving put up with that poo poo. I got the axe for being an arrogant prick, but I was highly paid and extremely vocal when our bonuses didn't get paid on time. And you know what? I have two interviews tomorrow. And I'm probably going take a nice long vacation before I take either of those jobs. gently caress that toxic poo poo, dude. There are soooo many good jobs available to people that can sell - there is a difference between a job with a lot of pressure, and a toxic environment like you've faced. Don't even look back. Tumble fucked around with this message at 16:32 on Nov 9, 2015 |
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Nov 9, 2015 16:30
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So I alluded to those stupid "CLICK HERE FOR $10 INSURANCE THEY DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW"! Well I'm going to talk about Screeners. What these guys do is sit in a phone bank and call people all day every day. Their job is to call, convince people to talk to an agent, and then transfer them to an agent in anticipation of a quote. Sounds good, right? The problem is that this is a self selection for terrible risks. The reason I say this is because people with their poo poo together nine times out of 10 don't need someone to call and convince them to get a quote. They call directly, have an agent already, or are intelligent enough to figure out how to operate the online system. So screeners end up getting a few types of customer (note these are not mutually exclusive columns, often they are in multiple categories): The Lowest Common Denominator: This is the customer that wants this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ex0NMYdFpzM and I have to try to sell them this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJVNhAwg8SE. Well not really that, but you get the idea. So these people are either not interested, not good risks, or think we're legitimately another company- "I thought this was the general?! *click*" We spend out dollars to reach out to these people attracted by facebook ads or insurance consolidation companies in an attempt to sell them policies. This is The Worst Customer. They don't want to buy, they are a bad risk, and on top of that they are responsible for 80% of our problems. Plus they are often rude. The Lowest Common Denominator just knows they are legally bound to buy this and they don't give a poo poo about anything-which is understandable-but then they are totally poo poo to talk to. Smoke alarm going off in the background? Check. Screaming children in the background? Check. Openly admit to driving without insurance, yet willing to talk on the phone about buying insurance while driving illegally with a suspended license? Check. They purchase on price, and price alone (again not bad), but they are convinced they are owed a $30 price because some stupid ad said so, yet they're relegated to the highest premiums because of their general lovely decision making skills. Plus they are loving rude. The Old Bitty: Maybe wants to buy insurance but doesn't trust a company calling them to get them to an agent. They are rightfully suspicious of a person transferring them to an agent for savings they may or may not want. They come on the line "wait, you called ME? I don't want to talk to you. Where is Dan Smith down on Main Street, I want to talk to him!". Yeah thats a good use of resources, company, good job. The Good Ole Boy: Not necessarily a Southern thing, but often is. They think they know more than all insurance companies combined. They don't even want to get insurance, they just want to shoot the poo poo and talk about how much smarter they are than everyone. Now this comes in two variants. Either they are really well off and middle aged and can gloat about how corrupt the system is, or more often than not, they are poor as gently caress and just hate paying for insurance. This is the guy that complains we won't insure his 1987 Ford F150 because "it runs good!" for less than $30 a month. I get the distinct feeling that a lot of these guys would sell their own kids if it meant saving a few bucks on something. The Automatic Bad Risk: These are people that insurance companies have consistently and completely rejected, so they're trolling for any company to insure them. A good example would be someone in Detroit (which is literally The Worst For Insurance. Period) who has had multiple wrecks, a bad record, and a credit score that can't be described in positive numbers. No other company will insure them so they're looking to defraud any company that will take them so they can get their car out of the impound. Another example is someone just ineligible due to company guidelines. For example we don't write homes on the coast, yet we have our screeners intentionally call these people, push them to us, and then we have to apologize for wasting their time. It makes no sense for us to call people on purpose that we can't sell to. All of those examples are from real world experiences too. I'll think of more stuff to add here, and hopefully its a lot more entertaining and provides some more insight into the insurance world for goons. Think of it as the GBS version of my other insurance thread in A/T which is straitlaced and information based. http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3488763
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Nov 9, 2015 18:03
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I spelled my name out three times, carefully, and they still mistyped my name. gently caress that guy for being bored.
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Nov 9, 2015 18:14
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Bonus entry: Existing Customers: The crown jewel of all screeners. My company spends money to reach out to people to sell new policies and services that ALREADY HAVE THEM. So they call us, transfer a "new customer" to us.....and they already have insurance. So of course, that counts against us for not selling a policy when they literally a day or two before had purchased it. Then at the end of the money, they berate us for not selling more policies per call. Shameful. I actually have an excel spreadsheet of every incoming call I've taken since May all the way up till Nov 6. Its depressing how many aren't even people looking to buy, but are simply hoodwinked into answering our bullshit calls.
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Nov 9, 2015 21:23
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Tennessee is better than Iowa
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Nov 9, 2015 21:25
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Jastiger it sounds like your job sucks. 
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Nov 9, 2015 21:31
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BEST STUPID poo poo AT MY OLD JOB: Selling cheap, lovely RC helicopters. Made $11.50 an hour + $1.50 for each small copter sold and $2.50 for each larger one sold. Replacements went in the system as sales. This, made me the least "scammy" RC helicopter salesman (on the customer's side) ever. Our corporate leaders instructed us to show how durable it was by flexing the wings, squeezing the body, and other superficial poo poo. At the end of my sales pitch, I'd pull the customer over and go "Look, this is honestly the best deal your gonna get on one of these things. You know how it works. I've been flying these every day, 8 hours a day for the past 3 months and I'm awesome at it. Your kid is gonna get home, crash it into a wall a few times, it's gonna break and you'll be screwed. The store offers an unlimited replacement warranty plan for $10 extra. The thing costs $50 so for $60 you get an unlimited supply of RC helis. You can buy two for $120 and spend your days smashing them together in mid-air, bring em back, get new ones, smash em again and repeat." Current job: PCI compliance is vaguely worded and up to interpretation. If I've never seen a machine running Windows XP either physically or on the network, does it really exist?
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Nov 9, 2015 21:52
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Goons don't be like these people. Just don't. Insurance sucks, I get it, but it doesn't mean you have to be a total rear end hat about everything. When speaking to someone pronounce your words! You're not looking for 'surance. You're looking for auto insurance. Also, when someone asks for your address you should generally give them the whole thing.  : Hello whats your address? : 123 Main Street*audible 30 seconds of silence* ..................................................city, state zip? Springfield (or another common city name) Its really not a hard concept. I had a dude call in with a TN phone number and berate me for assuming when he said Nashville he meant Tennessee. NO its OBVIOUSLY Nashville, Arkansas what with the TN area code. Pro tip: If you're calling someone for insurance, they MAY want to know who is driving the car! Especially if you're in one of Those States. Actually next post will be about the worst states and regions (its actually not necessarily the South!)
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Nov 10, 2015 15:09
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I work a really cushy job where I work my own schedule as long as my work is done and I put in 40 hours. If I feel like "gently caress this" I can just leave and either makeup the hours or take vacation hours. I move numbers around Excel spreadsheets and sometimes figure out new ways to move the numbers around. If I gently caress something up, no big deal, anything can be fixed. I guess the worst part is that I work with a bunch of retirement-age women who don't want to change. They brought me and a bunch of other young people into the department to refine the processes but the old ladies are resistant to change.
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Nov 10, 2015 15:21
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bradzilla posted:I work a really cushy job where I work my own schedule as long as my work is done and I put in 40 hours. If I feel like "gently caress this" I can just leave and either makeup the hours or take vacation hours. I move numbers around Excel spreadsheets and sometimes figure out new ways to move the numbers around. If I gently caress something up, no big deal, anything can be fixed. I guess the worst part is that I work with a bunch of retirement-age women who don't want to change. They brought me and a bunch of other young people into the department to refine the processes but the old ladies are resistant to change. Wet it up
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Nov 10, 2015 15:28
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lol if anyone has read a single one of these boring rear end posts
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Nov 10, 2015 15:30
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