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Bowlcutbarricade
Dec 27, 2014

Failure to best me in a competitive interpretive dance battle

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nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011

DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO

Mozi posted:

or more easily, just chug a bunch and it'll do its thing on the way out

a man with a plan panama

MrWillsauce
Mar 19, 2015

Or just use white strips. They're only $20

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec

MrWillsauce posted:

Or just use white strips. They're only $20

I see them for sale at the dollar store

clitical hit
Nov 21, 2015

being a human being just about does it for me

nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011

DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO
ok if i use the white strips on my teeth, can i then use them on my butthole? are they still good?

Nolan Arenado
May 8, 2009

nomadologique posted:

ok if i use the white strips on my teeth, can i then use them on my butthole? are they still good?

No, but they will work if you use them on your butt first and then your teeth.

MrWillsauce
Mar 19, 2015

I always get the order mixed up.

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost
or just put blackface/tanner (depending on butthole hue) on the rest of your body to match the butthole. the reverse buttbleach

red_dirt
Apr 26, 2014

by Shine
Party-line voters, any party. Also people who assign absolute moral value to words, and are unwilling to recognize context.

Comfy Fleece Sweater
Apr 2, 2013

You see, but you do not observe.

Got a girlfriend and then went away for 8-10 years and returned and said she had ruined his life

Like, I don't even know you anymore

Shithouse Dave
Aug 5, 2007

each post manufactured to the highest specifications


Too catholic to use birth control but not catholic enough not to have had four abortions. Announced this at the hen's night for another friend, making herself the centre of attention as usual.

Came back from my flatmate's funeral and instead of asking how it was/how I was, wanted to borrow ten bucks and talk about her boyfriend.

"Friends" with me because he "secretly" wants to bang me.

huskarl_marx
Oct 13, 2013

by zen death robot
bigotry, gossip and exploitatively crass sexual talk are my big three

Docahedron
May 11, 2008

Im a special snowflake
Murder and/or pedophilia

NiceGuy
Dec 13, 2006

This is my BOOMSTICK
College Slice

memy posted:

still name the Beatles as "the greatest or most significant or most influential" rock band ever

Contrarianism on the level of this retard, I think, might be the best example.

Kumo
Jul 31, 2004

nomadologique posted:

you never know a folk with heroin does? it's not exactly fun to hang outwith them while they're hosed up but if they're nottotal junkies you can just hang out with them when they're not hosed up.

When they're not hosed up all they think about is getting hosed up, and how to scheme, rob and steal their way to their next dose.

gently caress heroin.

DicktheCat
Feb 15, 2011

Being a literal Nazi.

Masturbasturd
Sep 1, 2014

Docahedron posted:

Murder and/or pedophilia

but both cancel eachother out so we're still good, right?

Pitdragon
Jan 20, 2004
Just another lurker
Green blood instead of black, a second eyeball above the lower proboscis, constantly emitting a high pitched shrieking sound, the usual stuff

nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011

DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO

Pitdragon posted:

Green blood instead of black, a second eyeball above the lower proboscis, constantly emitting a high pitched shrieking sound, the usual stuff

i'm sorry i can' thear you over your low pitched droning!!!

raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

Shithouse Dave posted:

Came back from my flatmate's funeral and instead of asking how it was/how I was, wanted to borrow ten bucks and talk about her boyfriend.

Ur lucky ur het

Blistex
Oct 30, 2003

Macho Business
Donkey Wrestler
Using the word, "toxins" unironically. That's strikes 1-3.

The Fattest PI
Mar 4, 2008
Hired a new guy for my team and he wanted to fit in. We were always making crude tasteless jokes and stuff so maybe he thought he was in good company I don't know. All of a sudden he blurts out how he can't wait to piss off the muslims this year. How? By putting up a bunch of christmas lights! Why? Who the gently caress knows. He also mentioned how he'd hang raw bacon outside his door so "they" can't come complain about his extremely commonplace christmas lights that nobody cares about. Then he starts going on about how you aren't allowed to say "merry christmas this year" and everybody was calling him a loving idiot because in reality pretty much nobody gives a poo poo.

Congrats new guy, you're promoted to working in the garbage room by yourself from now on haha

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec

The Fattest PI posted:

Hired a new guy for my team and he wanted to fit in. We were always making crude tasteless jokes and stuff so maybe he thought he was in good company I don't know. All of a sudden he blurts out how he can't wait to piss off the muslims this year. How? By putting up a bunch of christmas lights! Why? Who the gently caress knows. He also mentioned how he'd hang raw bacon outside his door so "they" can't come complain about his extremely commonplace christmas lights that nobody cares about. Then he starts going on about how you aren't allowed to say "merry christmas this year" and everybody was calling him a loving idiot because in reality pretty much nobody gives a poo poo.

Congrats new guy, you're promoted to working in the garbage room by yourself from now on haha

That guys hilarious, make him a vp

Slow News Day
Jul 4, 2007

Blistex posted:

Using the word, "toxins" unironically. That's strikes 1-3.

also the word "detox"

nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011

DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO
"clenase" huh?? yeah i got a few things i gotta cleanse too!!

Lolie
Jun 4, 2010

AUSGBS Thread Mum
Multi-level marketing. I don't give a poo poo if you want to do Scentsy, The Body Shop at Home, Mona Vie or whatever, but I don't ever want to hear about it. Ever. Not even once.

Bismuth
Jun 11, 2010

by Azathoth
Hell Gem
People who define their personality/identity around some kind of media

people who define their identity around their gender/sexual orientation

people who define their identity around a sports team or nationalism


I guess just people who don't have personalities of their own and have to have an outside force define it for them.

Oh also guys with pubey beards that are always shedding everywhere and they lean over my food and shed in my food gently caress you.

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
Cannibalism is a major dealbreaker for me, OP. I won't abide it.

SEGA Ass Fisting
Feb 15, 2012

KEEP IT TIGHT!
posting on Something Awful

Grand Prize Winner
Feb 19, 2007


I've got two big ones.

The first is people who don't tip, and claim it's out of a belief that the system in which tipping exists is hosed and so the best way to fix it is to dick over the server. gently caress that guy.


The second is I don't like it when people rape my friends. I don't care that you're a rapist, we all have weird little kinks, you know? But don't rape people I like, ok? Just rape a stranger dude, it's not hard.

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
hugs that cross the line

jokes about my lazy eye/salami breath

'popping in' unannounced is a dealbreaker

sitting in my spot

rudeness about my prescription bike seat

nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011

DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO
a. what is salami breath is it what it sounds like?

b. thought you said pooping in and was like wow yeah

Riot Bimbo
Dec 28, 2006


You get a lifetime allocation of 'bro's to use via any mode of communication. if you exceed the limit you can't be my friend

Bismuth
Jun 11, 2010

by Azathoth
Hell Gem
Man you guys all are so against cannibalism, how about you dont knock it till you try it?

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Comfy Fleece Sweater
Apr 2, 2013

You see, but you do not observe.

She decided to marry another dude after I had been her friend/doormat for 7 years, while secretly trying to gently caress her

loving slut

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