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Last night I dreamed that I was ginger  Not the food kind, the hair kind
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Nov 29, 2015 16:00
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 04:30 |
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I've kept a journal of a few of my better/worse dreams. In a couple of them I'll wake up, go back to sleep, and either resume the dream where it left off or else I'll remember that I'm dreaming. Also, sometimes I'll "wake up" from a dream and into another dream, and so I'll realize that I'd just been dreaming but I won't realize that I'm still dreaming. ***** Last night's dream started out with me (as a young teenager) being sold into slavery in Southeast Asia. I was shackled to three other slaves, and our job had something to do with swimming in the river (I think maybe we were towing boats or something???). Problem being that there was a friggin huge fish in the river that had been eating people (the fish had a proper name, like Biggo the Fish, but I've forgotten it). So the four of us are swimming in the river, and one of the slaves suddenly says "Oh no, Biggo the Fish is nearby!" We were certain that we were all goners, but then I had a brilliant idea: "Let's call the Danger Squad!" Everybody agrees that this is a splendid idea, and so we blow our Danger Whistles, at which point a submarine surfaces in the middle of the river. Mr. T and the other members of the Danger Squad then fire their bazookas into the water, and Biggo the Fish is slain. Then we all got into the submarine and the Danger Squad took us to an amusement park. ***** Last night I had a dream in which I was eating turkey sandwiches with my dad and some faceless senator-types in the capitol building. At one point my dad says something like "It's not that I think that black people shouldn't be allowed in the capitol building, it's just that I don't think that they deserve to use the front door." I reply with something like "But dad, you used the front door, and you're black." My dad then notices that he's turned black, and says "Well what do you know, I am black." And then I woke up. ***** Last night I had to carry a torch to the Pope Olympics, for which I had to run from Naples to Vatican City. For some reason I wound up in France (I must've gotten lost???), and was concerned that I'd left my passport back in the hotel (since I was clad only in boxer shorts), but fortunately the border guards made an exception for the guy carrying the Pope Olympics torch. So I make it to Rome and am on my way to Vatican City, when suddenly that big Epcot Center spheroid comes crashing down in the middle of the city and begins despoiling the hockey arena. I attempt to jump over the hockey arena, and I succeed, but my legs snap like twigs when I land, at which point I wake up. ***** In last night's dream, I was playing a robot fighting video game in a huge stadium. My opponent was the girl I took to prom in senior year of high school. I was losing quite badly, but then I did a special attack wherein I tore off her robot's arms and hurled them at a nuclear power plant in the background, which exploded and killed us both. This pleased me, because now we'd both have to put in another quarter. I woke up at this point, around 2:30 am. Got back to sleep around 4:00 am, with a few false starts thrown in there. The dream seemed to pick up where it had left off, with me and the girl who I'd gone to prom with in the stadium, and the video game telling us to insert two quarters. At this point, somebody wearing overalls shot her with a shotgun, causing her to disintigrate into a pile of dust. The stadium dissolved into a sort of hilly pasture, allowing me to duck behind a small rise and avoid getting shot. I peeked up from my hiding spot, and discovered that I was at the top of a large hill, and a veritable army of cowboys and hicks were marching up said hill. At this point a cowboy who had been hiding on the other side of the rise shot me in the head, but this didn't seem to faze me as much as one would expect. I wrenched the pistol out of his hands and beat him to death with it, and then shot some of the hicks who were slowly marching up the hill. After I'd run out of bullets I ran down the hill to retrieve the fallen hicks' shotguns, with which I proceeded to melt off everybody's skin. Things get a bit hazy at this point. After melting the skin off all of the cowboys and hicks, I discovered that they had been protecting the entrance to some kind of secret government laboratory. After exploring for awhile I decided to pull the fire alarm, which prompted a huge gelatinous spider thing to break out of its containment unit and hose me down with a flamethrower. This seemed to be much worse than when I'd been shot in the head, but around this time I woke up. ***** Last night's dream started out with me skiing down a slope with some college buddies. Things were relatively normal until one of my buddies said "Hey, watch out for snow sharks," and was promptly devoured by an enormous shark jumping out of the snow. I then had to maneuver through a swarm of snow sharks, who were then joined by snow squids and snow pirates on snow pirate ships. I was an expert skier in this dream and was able to maneuver past these obstacles, but then when I stopped at a hot dog shack for lunch a snow pirate ship blasted me to pieces with its cannon. I "woke up" from the snow shark dream into another dream where I was on vacation in Las Vegas. I told my college buddies who were with me about the bizarre snow shark dream, and we all had a good chuckle, except for the guy who'd been eaten by a snow shark. We spend the day gambling in fast-forward (about sixteen hours of gambling was condensed down to a minute), and at the end of the day I went into the shower to have a pre-bedtime wank. However, the shower was in the hallway and was surrounded on four sides by curtains, and random people kept opening the curtains and generally making nuisances of themselves, so it took forever to finish the wank because I had to keep pausing to close the curtains. I finally gave up and went back to my room, and went back to sleep. When I went to sleep I went back into the snow shark dream, except now there were ice meteors that were hitting the ground. One of the people in the dream said that we had to find some kind of magic talisman thingamabobber to get out of the snow shark world, so we all started skiing around in search of it. This time I skied off a cliff, but on my way down I was thinking "ah, this is no big deal, I'm just having a dream." When I hit bottom I woke back up to the vacationing in Vegas dream, except for some reason we were now camping in Utah. I told my college buddies about how my dream had been a continuation of the last dream, and they were incredulous. I said "I'll prove it to you," and went back to sleep, except in the new dream there were the snow sharks and show squid and snow pirates and ice meteors, but there was also a big friggin snow whirlpool that we were all being sucked into. My college buddies were angry with me for taking them into a dream where we were all going to die, and began pelting me with snowballs. So I put on my jet pack and hovered over the snow whirlpool, pointing and laughing at the people who were about to be sucked into it. Then I woke up. ***** In last night's dream I checked out the Akira book/comic/graphic novel/whatever series from the library, but it turned out that it was nothing but nude photos of Gillian Anderson. She climbed out of one of the pages, we hunted down Bigfoot together and discovered that it was just a guy in a Bigfoot costume, and then we were about to have sex when suddenly it was revealed that Gillian Anderson was actually Bigfoot in a naked woman costume. ***** Last night I dreamed that I was part of the unit that raided Hitler's bunker, and I found that he was taking the same anti-depressants as me and so I confiscated them. One of the other soldiers said "that's hosed up man, now Hitler's going to be depressed." loinburger fucked around with this message at 16:30 on Nov 29, 2015 |
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Nov 29, 2015 16:06
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Any dream involving a school bus will be a nightmare, despite nothing particularly bad ever happening to me on school busses. IRL, about the worst that happened was a flat tire or the the brakes going out just as we were slowing down for a stop (we rolled forward a hundred feet or so, then stopped). (Then we sat there being bored while someone brought us another bus to finish the last 5 miles to school. Big deal.) Once, I dreamed I had been in a suspended animation machine and when I got reanimated, I was being worshipped as the goddess of destruction by a bunch of Hell's Angels types in the Badlands, complete with a big bonfire in a pit in front of my suspended animation capsule, burning fancy things like entire bolts of satin and big TV sets. The bikers were a bit upset when I told them to stop burning all the nice things, but since I was their goddess, they went ahead and obeyed. I also got some magical healing powers, which was useful since they took me to their hospital to visit a bunch of injured people. I had a pair of little scimitars that I couldn't find a place to set down, nor sheaths for them. I never got up the courage to write that one up, add a few drawings, and send it to Stan Lee to see if he could do anything with it. If I ever start a religion, though, the sacrament is going to involve marshmallows toasted over a bonfire. 
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Nov 29, 2015 17:15
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I found a hole in my wrist and picked at it, drawing out these strange wires, and it really freaked me out so I kept pulling & pulling until I'd pulled out all my nerves and I was like, "Oh." "Oh. gently caress."
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Nov 29, 2015 17:21
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No one cares about anyone else's dreams.
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Nov 29, 2015 17:28
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I dreamed once that I was making GBS threads on a toilet. This had unfortunate complications.
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Nov 29, 2015 17:30
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Hector Beerlioz posted:Sometimes I dream my teeth fall out and for a few seconds after I wake up I have to check if all my teeth are there. I've had that dream too, it's supposedly a common one. I also had a dream where I met the thing in your avatar and it said "I'm hector beerlioz". I think I was reading the forums before bed.
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Nov 29, 2015 17:37
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If you want wild dreams, put on a 24 hour 25mg nicotine patch before you go to bed. Do this for a week and I guarantee you will have the most hosed up dreams you have ever had in your life.
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Nov 29, 2015 17:39
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I dreamed that I was helping John Cena catch a thief by equipping every penguin in the world with transmitters so we could triangulate the thief's position by using the penguins' signals.
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Nov 29, 2015 17:48
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Myrddin_Emrys posted:If you want wild dreams, put on a 24 hour 25mg nicotine patch before you go to bed. Do this for a week and I guarantee you will have the most hosed up dreams you have ever had in your life. I concur. They are so vivid and are mentioned as a side-effect on the packaging. diabeetz posted:No one cares about anyone else's dreams. That reminds me of a sexy dream I had about Something Awful Forums Poster Diabeetz. I'd recount it, but oh no it's too embarrassing... *blushes*  Once I was a butcher with the head of a pig. Yes, it got weird at the end.
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Nov 29, 2015 18:07
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i had a wet dream about my mom when i was 14
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Nov 29, 2015 18:20
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When I was about 13 I dreamed about having a full blown marriage with Catherine Zeta Jones. It wasn't even like some cool crazy sec thing, just sitting around reading the paper and sipping coffee. For some reason it was also set in the 1940's, and I had a striped suit on and there was a cigarette burning. It ended when Catherine decided to pop out to the shops and grab some juice. I was waiting about 15 mins then woke up and I have never seen her again.
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Nov 29, 2015 18:40
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Jukeboxblues posted:When I was about 13 I dreamed about having a full blown marriage with Catherine Zeta Jones. It wasn't even like some cool crazy sec thing, just sitting around reading the paper and sipping coffee. For some reason it was also set in the 1940's, and I had a striped suit on and there was a cigarette burning. It ended when Catherine decided to pop out to the shops and grab some juice. I was waiting about 15 mins then woke up and I have never seen her again. 
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Nov 29, 2015 18:43
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a hole-y ghost posted:Maybe the cold and lonely goonsistence is the dream and you've yet to wake up maybe you should suck my rear end
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Nov 29, 2015 19:05
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That this nation will live up to the true meaning of its creed. Really hosed up.
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Nov 29, 2015 19:43
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i dreamed there was a good thread in gbs, and then i woke up in a cold sweat because i didn't vote it five or post in it but it was all a dream :,(
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Nov 29, 2015 20:14
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I dreamt about old school GBS.
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Nov 29, 2015 20:26
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Kumo posted:I found a hole in my wrist and picked at it, drawing out these strange wires, and it really freaked me out so I kept pulling & pulling until I'd pulled out all my nerves and I was like, "Oh." I had a dream where, instead of having that thick pad of muscle you normally have in your palm, it was empty and the inside looked like your av there that was messed up
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Nov 29, 2015 20:38
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When I was six I dreamt that I was in hell and Satan took my soul and I floated away. Certain things in my life have led me to believe this wasn't a dream.
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Nov 29, 2015 21:28
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ANIME IS BLOOD posted:I had a dream where, instead of having that thick pad of muscle you normally have in your palm, it was empty and the inside looked like your av there idgi You mean you don't have stomatapoli? But how do you paralyze and digest your prey? 
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Nov 29, 2015 21:46
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I got pissed off at myself because I had a dream that was a visual pun that makes no sense in the real world. Some cops pull a guy out of a car and start searching him. They pull back his coat and he's wearing a vest made out of sandwiches! The cops cuff him and he shouts "I thought lunch-coats were legal in California!" For some reason my brain decided that lunch-coat was a nickname for a Kevlar vest and that it'd be funny to have a guy with a coat made out of lunch. gently caress you brain. That's loving stupid.
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Nov 29, 2015 21:49
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I don't dream 
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Nov 29, 2015 21:55
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I dreamed that I was standing on top of a mountain wearing sun-God robes. 100 native women had surrounded me & were throwing those little cocktail wieners at me. Anybody else have the same dream? Why am I the only one?
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Nov 29, 2015 23:35
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GORILLA BASTARD posted:I dreamed that I was standing on top of a mountain wearing sun-God robes. 100 native women had surrounded me & were throwing those little cocktail wieners at me. Gorillas have the smallest penii of the higher apes. http://www.theguardian.com/science/2010/may/06/women-penis-size quote:Today, the average erect gorilla penis is 3cm (1.25 inches) long...
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Nov 29, 2015 23:43
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Kumo posted:Gorillas have the smallest penii of the higher apes. Everything is so clear to me now...
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Nov 29, 2015 23:47
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GORILLA BASTARD posted:I dreamed that I was standing on top of a mountain wearing sun-God robes. 100 native women had surrounded me & were throwing those little cocktail wieners at me. Definitely a weird sex dream. I had one in which Lisa Kudrow watched patiently while I clumsily tried to position a plank with a bent nail in it across a ditch full of oatmeal. Some sort of weird sex metaphor?
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Nov 30, 2015 00:31
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cp had gone mainstream
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Nov 30, 2015 00:57
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ANIME IS BLOOD posted:you know those dreams where you're back in school and the term is over but you haven't done any of the projects? I keep having those dreams but they're getting increasingly sophisticated, as if my subconscious is engaged in an arms race with my rational mind to persuade me that I'm still in school lol same. last time i had one i had to go back to middle school
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Nov 30, 2015 01:34
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Once I dreamt I was at a nudist colony and I hooked up with some dude inside a chicken coop  I have a recurring dream where I've bought an overseas ticket on a sketchy budget airline and the plane starts shaking and plummeting and I just grip the armrests of my seat and think to myself "this is it, this is how I die"
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Nov 30, 2015 02:21
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I once dreamed a nuclear reactor was going to go critical and the only way to stop it was to fill the reactor room with poop.
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Nov 30, 2015 02:45
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i once dreamed that i woke up and ever sicne then whenever i wake up i wodner if i am actually a dream or if it s reality
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Nov 30, 2015 02:46
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had to pull a big beetle out of my kneecap with pliers it made a loud crunching sound
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Nov 30, 2015 02:58
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When I was about 10 I had a dream where I was in my backyard. I saw my little brother (he was 9) standing with his back to me. I called his name and he turned around. His face was gone and looked like spooned-up watermelon - same color and texture, but consistent from top to bottom - i.e. no openings, sinus cavities, nostrils, eye sockets, etc. - just watermelon. I woke up then because I was 10 and that poo poo was hardcore. I've had the tooth-falling out dream when I've been stressed, but only in my thirties after a friend told me about similar dreams she had. Before, my stress dreams would be either 1) I was underwater surrounded by sharks, and had to keep turning around because they'd try to sneak up on me, or 2) I'd be at the beach stuck in a never-ending set of large waves: I kept having to dive under them, one after another. Now I have the more prosaic stress dreams where I'm nude in a public space - like work - but no one's noticed yet or they are simply being polite - even though I may be having a conversation with them. I realize they're going to start noticing soon, so I have to cover my junk with one hand and play it cool while trying to get out of there unobtrusively.
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Nov 30, 2015 03:30
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I had a dream recently in which I was suppose to be running a carnival with my of my best friends, a former roommate and a current coworker and I was loving it up bad.
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Nov 30, 2015 03:33
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Talking about dreams is the sharing favorite youtube videos of the pre-internet age.
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Nov 30, 2015 04:46
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That being said, once I dreamt I was getting pursued by the giant alien probe thingy from Star Trek IV, and it could change size and shape. I'll let you fill in the rest.
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Nov 30, 2015 04:47
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I dreamed I was at college in summer classes in something useless. Every day, from morning classes to conclusion, was a hazy mess; I never remembered anything from class and was too exhausted or unfocused to study. Homework was done at the last minute and I pretty much bullshitted it, not sure what I was writing down; tests were the same way. It went on for weeks. Things did snap back into focus when aliens started eating everybody at the university, though. They were the same appearance of the xenomorphs in Alien but they didn't do the chestburster poo poo; instead someone would get sort of infected by one and then his body would gelatinize from the inside out and a fully-formed alien would suddenly burst forth and immediately start butchering everyone in the vicinity. They got the instructor, whoever she was, and pretty much anybody else important or noteworthy at the lovely dream college. Military responded after a bit. They were mostly just ACU-wearing soldier dudes, though one of them had the visage of Hudson from Aliens. They were doing a slow sweep and trying to clear out the infestation, and doing decently; I don't remember too many of them dying. I was staying close to them for protection when Hudson started fiddling around with a pencil for some reason, then he slipped and it went right through his face. In one cheekbone, out the other, and was stuck there. The dream ended with everybody staring at him. He started asking the others what was going on, as the skin around both sides of the pencil puncture wound blackened and gelatinized.
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Nov 30, 2015 08:03
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 04:30 |
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 Breaking Dream Update As background, last year I had to renew my driver's license. Last night I dreamt that I found another wallet in my headboard with another license in it, and within the dream rationalized that this was my current license and that the license in my wallet was out of date, and that it was a lucky thing I hadn't been pulled over recently, which doesn't strain credibility all that much wrt me. I wake up and have to check my wallet, just in case, as the dream is that effective tl;dr my subconscious is gaslighting me, send help
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Nov 30, 2015 17:28
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